


I study rainbows ( Tarlos FF)

by Mostaggymf1



Series: Tarlos FF [1]
Category: Tarlos
Genre: 2020, 2020 1k, 2020 Finished September 13, August 29, Complete, M/M, Started July 16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:22:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 49
Words: 112,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29542308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mostaggymf1/pseuds/Mostaggymf1
Summary: Tk strand has been through a lot. Within his 20+ years of living he has gone through heartbreak , rejection , an overdose, and now he is forced  to leave his home in New York. He picks up his life  ( which is a shit show by the way ) and hopes for the best, but expecting the worst. His walls are high, but can one Austin police officer change that?Carlos Reyes was born in Brazil , but when he was four years old his  family decided to move to Austin , Texas to start a farm. His whole life he has wanted to become more than a farmer ( even though his family expected him to join into the business) , but Carlos knew he wanted to help people and what better way to help people by being who they call in need!  He has been a police officer for almost 15 years now and he loves everything about the job. He was pulling into the location where he got a call , when he saw a short haired brunette come from the back of the 126 FD truck. He's usually good at putting a name to the face but this man he didn't know, he thought little of it , oblivious to how that brunette is going to change his life. For the better , and the worst .Because what's light without a little bit of darkness 😉
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: Tarlos FF [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170635
Kudos: 5





	1. intro ???

HIII tarlos fandom , I am you and you are me face ass LMAOOO  
this is my first time writing a fan fiction or a book period but i have always been good at it in school, and i know how dumb that sounds so anyways

this is an introduction

i would say take it easy on me but when has the internet been easy on someone just because they asked?

we'll see how this goes I am going to try to update everyday for a week and then see if this goes anywhere or how hard or easy that is . My story details got deleted three times so i am dedicated took forever to get it back up * curses in wattpad*

but i looooove you guys even if it is 5 of you or one feel free to ask me anything about myself and i will respond  
Follow me to get a notification when I post a chapter

okay happy tarlos reading bye my babies  
-xo , steph

*Summary*

Tk strand has been through a lot. Within his 20+ years of living he has gone through heartbreak , rejection , an overdose, and now he is forced to leave his home in New York. He picks up his life ( which is a shit show by the way ) and hopes for the best, but expecting the worst. His walls are high, but can one Austin police officer change that? Does he feel emotionally safe enough to let his walls down again? Read to find out!

Carlos Reyes was born in Brazil , but when he was four years old his family decided to move to Austin , Texas to start a farm. His whole life he has wanted to become more than a farmer ( even though his family expected him to join into the business) , but Carlos knew he wanted to help people and what better way to help people by being who they call in need! He has been a police officer for almost 15 years now and he loves everything about the job. He was pulling into the location where he got a call , when he saw a short haired brunette come from the back of the 126 FD truck. He's usually good at putting a name to the face but this man he didn't know, he thought little of it , oblivious to how that brunette is going to change his life. For the better , and the worst . 

Because what's light without a little bit of darkness 😉

Started July 16,2020  
1k, August 29,2020   
Finished September 13,2020


	2. C2/ A day in the life

{ Carlos POV}

a/n: ( Michelle is the caption of the EMT's) 2 chapters in 1 night???? , just because I love y'all or whatever , enjoy :)

Answering dispatch was the last thing I was thinking about as I patrolled my area . It was a basic shopping center and a few neighborhoods that surround it. My walkie-talkie cut on sounding like static. I looked in the mirror to see 3 patrol cars and my best friend Michelle racing towards the frozen yogurt store in the shopping center. I assume this is what dispatch was supposedly telling me over my walkie-talkie. I race into action pulling into the shopping center right next to the EMT truck. I get out ready to asses the problem when my co-worker comes up to me informing me of the details of the accident. I moved forward, pushing my way to the front.

What is the deal with people forming crowds around people who need help, but when help gets their they still don't move. I will never understand .

Moral of this accident , two teenagers were fighting over who would get the last of the kit kat toppings, ( they were closing so there wouldn't be anymore put out) they got into a heated argument and ended up throwing their cups which landed on the TV as the employee was unplugging it for the day. Being that the TV was still plugged in she was shocked. The electricity filled her body and she was put into cardiac arrest dropping to the floor. The yogurt dripped into the USB- cord plugs and the TV caught on fire. I went into the store a few seconds later after seeing smoke. Realizing the worst has become real life , they boys pulled off seemingly resolving their issues in a few seconds. It was either that or they stay and deal with all of the expenses they would need to pay and a charge for disorderly conduct . I see Michelle and her team checking the employee's vitals and her vp's. I keep going deeper into the store when the fire department pulls into the shopping center. I run outside to tell the caption what's going on right now and what happend as well as his advice for deescalating the situation. As he is telling his team to get the needed supplies and equipment a short haired brunette man comes out of the truck carrying a hose, I froze but remembering their could be lives lost cleared the hazy fog quickly. No time for zoning out on the job I thought. At the back of my mind he was there . I opened the back of the EMT truck since the team had their hands full, pulling the employee out on a stretcher. I go around the outside and start asking witnesses , "I need someone that knows anything concerning the boys and this employee to come to me for witness questions" I yelled to the crowd , which was starting to disperse. Two twins came up to me and they told me their point of view they left when the boys were arguing so they were of no use. Next up was an elderly couple who had walked in to the employee on the floor and the boys being oblivious still arguing . They were the one's who called the police , just the people I needed to speak too. They were just as useless as the twins though because once they called 911, they waited in their car not wanting to be involved with the boys.

This accident was a bust but on the bright side , I didn't have to do a lot of paper work . That thought made this situation a little better and seeing that short haired brunette helping pack up the fire truck did too. He was hot , I would speak but I don't do impulse decisions , I like to think things through before I do them. As I turned to walk back to my car, I heard captain Strand calling my name . "Officer Reyes , thank you for the efficiency in this call I know this could have been crazy and hectic for only a couple of people to deal with" As I looked at him , I was really looking past him , because he looked like the older version of the short haired brunette staring at us out of the window. I just smiled at him " Yes I know, things were crazy but I've been doing this for almost 15 years I can handle crazy sir" When he looked at me , he followed my line of vision when I smiled and he smirked. Focusing my attention back on him as I was talking I saw his face and raised my eyebrow wondering what he was thinking. He didn't let me know either since once I was done he patted my back and turned around without saying a word.

Did I just flirt with the captains son? Hell yeah I did , remember all that talk about not being impulsive thinker ? I'm a Gemini! you know it went to sh*t as soon as he laid those enchanting and enticing crystal clear blue eyes on me. Oh well I don't regret it , but would I do it again? Probably not... , it was a moment of boldness I'm shy and I don't speak much except to my close friend Michelle. She is the only one who gets me with working in the same field down to how stressful everything can be , she's family outside of my family. Almost like my home away from home.

I stop by Miss Ora's chicken on the way home , she has the best fired chicken I have every tasted in my life. She is also black owned. Everything about this place is a plus.

{ A/N: Because that's all we support * smirks in BLM*} 

Getting into my house after a long shift was the highlight of my day sometimes . It would be nice to have someone to come home to and share what happened today at work with but I don't feel like I'm relationship material. I've been alone most of my life , I only have 1 sibling. My sister Emily and she went to medical school to become a doctor. She was born ten years after me so were close but not really close. She was the chosen child , I wasn't because 1. I'm gay , 2. I'm openly gay ,3. I didn't go into the family business like my parents wanted me too. I love my family but I'd rather love them from a distance if they can't accept me for me. I would never force anyone who is in my life to accept me if I they didn't want too. That's just not me , I'd rather we just be cordial than they have animosity towards me because of who I love.

Moving into my bathroom to wash my face , and drink my water ,then I'm done with my skin.

{A/N: If you know you know , from the live with roro x rafa }

I get into bed and let sleep wash over me like the ocean filled with rose petals with a hint of a lavender scent. This is the best thing about being alone though, the peace and quiet.

I'll be fine with or without anyone , I've done it this long. One occasion and 2 spare looks with a hot brunette were not going to break my resolve in one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: how was it???? let me know I love writing I'm surprised it took me this long in quarantine to sharpen my writing skills , oh well better late than never right?
> 
> Follow me on here to get a notification when I upload new chapters 
> 
> comment what you thought about the chapter , love you guys
> 
> -xo, steph


	3. C3/ Risk worthy

{ TK POV}

* TK has been at work for 3 hours already*

I walked into the kitchen to get some coffee to keep me awake I can't do it on my own anymore. Since it has been a slow morning I haven't had the adrenaline rush that usually forces me awake first thing in the morning. Slow days are good because that means no one is getting hurt, so the good always out weighs the bad.

When Paul my co-worker walks into the kitchen, I smile at him and move away from the coffee maker. Were both on low battery today it seems , we don't usually have down time like this. I can see the bags under his eyes, which comforts me to know I'm not the only one who didn't sleep well.

Paul: Hey kid , how'd you sleep?

TK: From the bags under both of our eyes , it look likes we slept the same amount of time.

Judd: Well that was just y'all, I had a great nights sleep. What kept you guys up?

I looked at Paul who was rolling his eyes at Judd , I just smirked and said "your mom" . Judd flipped me off and walked out laughing. I washed my mug and went to find my dad. When I saw he wasn't in his office I went into the golf room , because where else would he be if not his office on a day like this? Playing golf . If you know my dad that is his third love. Me being his first and being a firefighter second obviously.

Him talking with Michelle made me do a double take though. I never expected them to get along after their first time meeting at an accident and the few words they exchanged. Glad they both came around it was all for the better good anyways. No time to hold grudges with your co-workers doing any job in the field of helping you all have to work as one , because that is the only way you can save everyone or save as many people as you can.

Suddenly the siren call went off, our bodies moved on auto-pilot as we jumped into action . Relaxation over I thought as I ran to the middle of the truck where we all sat on the way to calls. I put my headphones on, and look over as all my team starts putting their gear on , not knowing how long before we would get to the accident. We hear my dad talking through the headphones , he says were 5 minutes out . When we get to the site , I see my dad and a cop meet each other in front of the crowd of witnesses. He was cute, surprised I'm thinking about hooking up with a police officer , It's almost like bro code. Stupid I know, but he was... attractive to say the least. Even though I shouldn't being saying anything like that while I'm supposed to be saving a life.

While the cop was talking to my dad a women started yelling "I have a gun stay back , I will f*cking shoot" . Then I hear my dad yell " Officer Reyes watch out 12 o'clock!". He turns around with his hand on his gun telling the women to calm down. He starts slowly walking towards her , while he tenses you can see the women visibly relax. "This women is crazy" said Mateo. I gave him a sharp nod still focusing on the cop , waiting to see what would happen. He asked the women to come into the building with her. She said she wanted no guns and no one but her and him. That worried me , she seemed mentally ill. I wouldn't trust it but , of course we really have to throw our trust out of the window when working with mentally ill patients. He puts his gun in his holster and takes his entire belt of weapons off.

I was left slack jawed at what he was doing. He wants to make her as comfortable as possible. The thing about mentally ill patients is that they need to trust who they are talking to so that you can get what you need out of them. My dad snaps me back to reality telling us to go around the back, an employee gave us an emergency key and we were able to get their without a hassle , all of us weren't able to go in it was a very small emergency exit so only me and Mateo were able to fit. I turned and nodded my head towards my dad when we both got in .

I was able to see him through the window , I knew he was worried but this is my job I have been doing this for almost 15 years. I'll be alright with one mentally ill patient.

We move up the stairs slowly once we see they aren't on the first floor. "Ain't this some money heist type sh*t" Mateo whispered. I furrowed my brows at his back since he was in front of me. He had completely stopped moving after what he said and I brushed past him to see what he was looking at that made him speechless.

As I looked around his shoulder , I saw what he was seeing and I made eye contact with the same cop, now I know as officer Reyes. I gave him a quick once over seeing as he was not hurt. I contacted captain and said he was fine, figuratively and literally...

Anyways, along with him were 12 other cops that have been missing for almost a month. I started slowly walking towards them just in case the floors are weak , I don't want the women to hear anyone moving and get the officers in trouble. Mateo starts from the other end which leaves me to talk to officer Reyes.

I try to get Mateo's attention and ask him to switch but he's already writing down some things from the women at the other end of the line. I'm not usually this excited and jittery to ask someone questions but he's hot.

I move towards him and when I'm about 5 ft away from getting to him , he shakes his head. I tilt my head sideways wondering why he told me not to come towards him. I take a look around looking for context clues as to why he wouldn't want me coming closer to him.

I look behind him and diagonally sits the women who captured him, whistling and reloading her gun while wiping it down as well , almost like a baby girl takes care of her first baby doll.

It was sobering seeing her being so calm, it reminded me why I'm here , I look back at officer Reyes. Asking him with my eyes what I should do , he moves his head towards the window , I look at the window and there is my dad and team with 6 cops standing with them.

I signal Mateo to keep getting notes but to skip officer Reyes , when he gets close enough I ask him to go back down the stairs and pull the emergency fire alarm , afterwards he will signal the busting of the windows with ropes , the fire fighters will climb up the rope and a few EMT's that will bring sedatives to calm down the patient , as well as 2 cops who will be armed .

The room she is doesn't have any windows so she won't know what's happening until everyone is already formed a barrier around her. What am I going to do? I'm going to be a distraction of course, doing what I do best.

While Mateo heads for the stairs I yell "FIRE, TAKE COVER!"

She comes out right on cue when the windows shatter and all of our back up quickly files in. I make a mental note to thank each one of them one of them face to face when all of this is over. We walked into a month long case and didn't even know it. So much for a relaxing day right?

She looks between me and the barrier they have , I should have known something would go out of order in the plan. I just wish it would have been Mateo tripping or something , not getting held at gun point. Now that is a first.

Their was a gap in the barrier that led straight through to me , I was turned around trying to get officer Reyes out of his zip ties when she pulled me into a choke hold from behind with the gun to my right temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: how was it?? I promise I will do another chapter today , I won't leave you guys hanging much love
> 
> Follow me on here to get a notification when I upload a chapter
> 
> -xo,steph


	4. C4/ And I don't regret it

*TK POV*

*flashback*

It was getting late why was Alex taking this long? I usually take longer than him to do everything , and why is he late? He's never late.. Should I just back out of this while I'm ahead and this just be a regular dinner? No f*ck that , I love him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. No way I'm backing out of this. "Stand your ground baby , you can do this" I said to myself.

*10 minutes pass*

I start to get worried being he's now 20 minutes late. I pull out my phone to call him when I see valet taking his car away. I relax and lean back into my seat, rolling my head to relieve the built up tension in my shoulders. You got this baby. This is supposed to be one of the most memorable moments of my life why am I so stressed? Whatever it's game time.

When he gets closer to the table I stand to hug and kiss him as a greeting, boy did I miss him today. His cologne making me feel at ease, reminded of home. The home we built within each other or so I thought.

We both took a seat, I love this man so much I thought. I must have looked so starry eyed, I was so out of it. " You look amazing as always tonight Alex" He just stared at me. I raised my eyebrow ,silently asking what he is thinking, " Did you already start drinking?" He said , d*mn maybe I was a little out of it. "No why would you say that?" incredulously I asked. He just shook his head not wanting to elaborate on this topic instead he changed the subject. "Isn't this kind of fancy Tk? I mean we could have just gotten burgers." Where is my boyfriend of 5 years who has always begged me to give him the finer things in life ? Is this not good enough for him?

I just shook my head laughing it off not wanting to ruin this night. When the waiter came back , we ordered and he left once again , I reached into my pants pocket and felt the ring, making me less nervous when our deserts were cleared away.

This is it I thought, I moved to the side of the table preparing to give my heartfelt speech. But when I went to get up Alex said he had to talk to me about something. I waived the waiter over giving cash and telling him the rest was a tip.

Alex was very curt and blunt and most times he would say things without having any emotion attached to them, I told him how much that would hurt sometimes when were arguing but he never got the memo of it so I just let it go.

Times like this , I shouldn't have expected him to wear kid gloves with me. Yet and still I didn't expect him to be as blunt as he did. He said it like my heart didn't stop and shatter in my chest! I knew we were growing distant but this engagement was supposed to bring us back together because I knew he was my one. I was wrong. Was I ever right about him though? I can't even remember the last time he said he loved me back or made me coffee in the morning .He always left before me being a lawyer.

In an instant everything was over. " TK I've been meaning to tell you this for a couple months now, I've been seeing my cycle instructor Ryan. I'm not in love with you anymore , I don't think I ever was honestly. I hope life treats you well, you deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to be fake happy-"

When the tears filled my eyes I blinked them away , my pride was already broken but I won't let it shatter. Not in front of him anyway. I can hold it together until I'm back at ou- my apartment. I got up after he said he was faking being happy with me. I didn't want to hear anymore. I couldn't take anymore or I would fall apart in this expensive a*s restaurant. I called valet and asked him to step on it while getting my car. He saw me tapping my foot and my red eyes and he got the motto.

Getting into my car I gave valet $30 and rushed off into traffic.

He never deserved you. You saw the signs and you just choose to ignore them. This was my fault it always was. I can't catch a break. Love was exhausting , I refuse to go through this again. Because next time I don't know if I will be able to make it out.

With my thoughts running wild I hear three blaring horns and quickly step on my brakes. In my headlights I see a teenager girl scared to death , I unlock my door to get out my car , but she runs to the other side of the street before I can even get out and apologize to her. I mentally slap myself and block my horrible but true thoughts out of my head until I pull into my apartment complex.

I park my car and take the stairs knowing no one else is going too. It's peaceful and quiet in the stairway. I wish life was always this serene and peaceful . Reality slapped me once again , once I tripped on a step. Mentally shaking myself, I keep taking the stairs two at a time now and finally make it to ou- d*mn it , MY apartment. It's mine right along with everything in it. Now I see why he was slowly moving his things out saying " I just want to sell them, we need more space in the apartment anyways". Now I know why he was so defensive when I would ask him about it. It's all probably at Ryan's already, that a**hole.

I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I stared for a couple seconds at my red eyes and drenched shirt from running up the stairs and let go of everything that I've been holding in.

The unmistakable feeling of being drowned in your own tears is very traumatic. Nothing ever cut me this deep. Not even my parent's divorce or when my mom didn't accept me. NOTHING.

I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone not even the one who caused me to experience it. Does that make me weak? For still wanting him to have a good life even if it isn't with me? It does doesn't it? I hate myself. I always have but when I got with Alex the hate starting to lessen...Or it didn't ?? I don't even trust myself anymore.

I look back into the mirror and reach into the drawer to my left. Looking inside of it I see his opioids from when he broke his arm falling off his bike. I grab the bottle leaving the bathroom, I move into the living room grabbing the picture of me and Alex , opening the bottle and swallowing 4 at one time. Looking at how happy I was and then looking at him. This used to be my favorite picture of us that's why I had it framed, but now that I'm looking at it he looked miserable.

I hate myself.

Giving his fake smile another glance , I take 4 more from the bottle and get up to get some vodka, hoping the mix will take me to the grave. I no longer want to live if he isn't in my life.

I can't do this life alone. And he knows that , so why would he leave me? Why would he make me question my self worth like this knowing I already am in love with him? Why start this game with me just to quit right before we got to the end? I will never get the answer and that's what hurts the worst.

My concoction starts to work and I feel the peaceful bliss of nothingness.

*flashback ended*

Sh*t! I don't want to remember my death attempt while I'm near it's doorstep again! In less than a month this has to be a record somewhere? I know what your thinking ,there's no way he'll die he has almost half the city enforcement behind him but no. She was a smart one. She got them all to drop their weapons while I'm still on the floor with officer Reyes staring at me, I can look in his eyes and see he wants me to just stay calm and I can do that , for him I can and for my dad don't want to give him a heart attack.

I nod my head quickly at him and slowly rise with the gun still to my temple. I turn around and face everyone's weapons on the ground and my dad and Michelle slowly approaching us. I shake my head no, no one else was going to be manipulated like I was and officer Reyes. I also shook my head at them to tell them she wasn't like any of the mental patients we have dealt with. I saw a look of defeat cross my dads face. I knew he would get like this . I closed my eyes and did what I knew had to be done.

" Thanks guys, but you have to leave , this isn't safe or better for anyone if were all in here. Don't be stupid and stay because of me, I know you have other things to do than sit here and wait for her to release me." I see my dad look down then to my right where officer Reyes was laying , but he did it quickly telling everyone to retreat. I gave him a wink , silently thanking him for being professional. When everyone started heading for the stairs officer Reyes kicked my ankle softly and I knew I was going to be okay right then and there. He quietly made is way on his knee's and kicked the women in the back of the leg.

"Go get the gun and go outside." He told me before the women got up. I ran after the gun retrieved it but I saw the room she had full of guns and went back and locked the door from the outside with my spare key then hauled a*s to the stairs. I look behind me and see officer Reyes with a few scratches on his right brow and a pocket knife in his mouth. D*mn he's hot!!

He's got her hands tied by the same zip ties she put on him and is walking her down the steps. I move out the way to let them go out first , and then I exit. I see everyone is still there and I don't know why I was even expecting them to leave after I spewed that BS earlier.

Officer Reyes was putting the women into the car when he I turned around. I went to meet him at his car , he was talking to his chief ,so I waited. After a few minutes the chief turned around asking if I was alright I agreed obviously praising officer Reyes , to which he shrugged off. Once he left I looked at officer Reyes and gave him a hug. I didn't know what else to do , I was so overwhelmed and thankful that he was able to get us out of their because I didn't know how I would be able to with no outside help.

I pulled away and just looked at this beautiful man that just saved my life and spoke. "Thank you so much for saving me in there , I don't know what I would have done without you." Choking on the last part I pull away, and look at my dad ahead of us and nod at him, telling him I'm okay.

When his strong as electricity but relaxing as a day at the spa voice broke through my thoughts. "Your stronger than you think. You came up with the plan I just improvised. I'm Carlos by the way" He said winking.

I look back to him as he reaches for my hand , I pull him into a hug "I'm TK, TK Strand" I said whispering in his ear. He grabs my stomach a little tighter at the action which I love then he let's go. I look into his eyes one more time " Nice to meet you Carlos" I said before walking towards the truck to head back to the station.

* On the drive back to the station*

I look out the window think of Carlos, knowing it was just slight flirting but it's the first thing I've done since Alex , and I don't regret it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: heyyy guys thank you so much for 15 reads in only two days that's crazy I love you all soooo much !
> 
> Follow me on here to get a notification when I upload a chapter  
> I love you deep  
> -xo, Steph


	5. C5/ Blame it on the alcohol

{ Carlos POV}

I watched the flirt walk away like the whirlwind that he was. I looked over my shoulder to look at my best friend Michelle. I wanted to see if she saw what TK just did, I looked at her smirking and mentally face palmed myself. Of course she saw. I just rolled my eyes at her and walked towards my co-workers who were kept here with this women for almost a month now. Checking on them , to see how they were.

They started singing my praises but I wouldn't allow it. It's flattering but I know in that situation any of them would have done the same for me if needed. That's why I take the compliments with a grain of salt, I just do my job. I looked at the fire truck one last time , turning back around I was preparing to leave when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I turn around to see captain Strand with his hand out , I reach my hand out as well. He quickly tells me thanks for everything and I shrug it off once again. I don't like all this attention, It's too much for me to handle honestly. Assuring him it was no problem , I shake his hand and turn to leave.

My phone starts to ring and I look at it through my mirror. I pull over to answer my phone

*because we don't text and drive*

Picking it up I speak , "Well hello Michelle, to what do I owe this pleasure? You calling me on the job must be important" I joked.

Michelle: "Hey C , I just missed my best friend. For a couple of hours I thought he was going to die, so I was just calling to check in." She responded back . I can't stand her , she knew I wasn't going to die. She's so over dramatic sometimes. I laughed and put the phone on speaker. " Well I have a feeling he's fine and you were just being over dramatic? Yes?"

*Like always* I whispered."What was that?" she said. Does this women hear everything? I moved the phone closer and playfully said back ,"OH nothing , nothing at all."

" Are you busy tonight?" I thought for a second, before I answered. "No I'm off until Wednesday, why? You need me?"

"I always need you Carlos your my best friend, but I want you to stay over. Let's have a sleepover or whatever adults call it. I need the tea on you and that hot fire fighter!" I could hear the smile in her voice and decided what the hell.

"Sure can I come over around 8? I get off at 7?"

" Ha you're not denying he's hot I knew it. Okay that's fine , I'll see you then lover boy. Kisses" then she hung up. I put my phone back in the back seat and pull into traffic.

What am I going to do with her! I'm not even dating the man yet. Wait did I really just say that? No I wasn't falling for a random firefighter. I only just got his name.. talk about desperate. I make my way back to the station to check in, letting my boss know everything was handled and my partner had the suspects in the interrogation rooms.

I went to the back to clock out of my shift , seeing some witnesses leaving on the way. Afterwards I went and got in my car heading home to pack for Michelle's. Pulling into my driveway, I drive around the circle and park in front of my house. I make quick work of checking my rose bushes making my way inside. I drop my keys into the bowl and take my shoes off.

That's a pet peeve why keep your keys in your pocket when I have a key bowl?? Also, why track shoe prints all through out the house when you can have them neatly when you come back to the door? House rules. No exceptions.

I went through turning the kitchen lights on to grab an apple and my voss water. Heading straight past the living room , to my bedroom upstairs. Second room on the right. I grab my travel bag from the side closet before I run up the stairs to go to my room to pack.

Two shirts, a couple pair of underwear , couple white tee's , 4 pants and 3 pairs of shoes. Okay maybe to you the amount of pants I'm bringing is dumb. I'm just indecisive , you never know what type of pants you'll need when your at someone else's house. Just a theory... always bring workout pants, ripped jeans , lounge shorts, and dress pants. Is it a crime to be prepared? I don't think so. Like right now I'm wearing sweats because I'm not doing anything else today. Case and point.

Twenty minutes later after stressing over which lounge shorts to bring I'm leaving the house. I start texting Michelle to tell her that I'm on the way.

I park my car at the middle of her driveway and walk to the door. I knock twice and wait for her to answer. I pull my phone out to call her and tell her I'm here when the door opens and captain Strand walks out. I look between Michelle and captain Strand raising my eyebrow.

" We were talking, I don't have sex with co-workers" she said rolling her eyes moving to the side to let me in.

"Ummm I do believe Billy exist?" I said squinting at her thinking I would forget. I have a perfect memory and she knew this. I walk past her glare doing a straight shot to the guest bedroom. Throwing my bag onto the bed , I'll unpack it later. I walk to the kitchen to see Michelle already preparing our vodka martini's , I just shake my head and pull a mineral water out the fridge. I don't like to get drunk often because 1, I'm light weight because I don't drink often, 2. I get really reckless , I usually end up forcing myself to go home from the club. Just alone and horny. It's really sad honestly.

I take the pretzels out the bag and pour them in a bowl along with peanut butter M&M's that were in the freezer.

* Because we don't eat room temperature M&M's*

Moving into the living room , we sit down and watch 2 movies relaxing and sipping the martini's.

*5 hours later*

I left my mineral water in the kitchen but I don't trust myself to go get it. I don't want to break anything on the way, so I decide to forget the mineral water and put on 90 day fiance. Michelle snorts at my choice, but at this point , I'm too tipsy to care. Michelle offers to get me my mineral water and I start clapping excitedly , but quickly stop when I hear how loud my claps are. It's like they are bouncing off of the walls.

We hear a knock on the door and Michelle yell's that she'll get it. I'm thankful when she brings me my mineral water first though. I start sipping the bottle and start sobering up almost immediately, for someone who doesn't drink, I know how to cure the quick fog of a hangover. I hear talking at the door , the mineral water helping me come back to my senses. I turn slowly to look over the couch I'm sitting on to see who was at the door. I turned around and turned red as soon as I saw who was standing in the hallway. None other than TK Strand himself. First his dad now him. But I'm to cloudy to question it.

I turn back around and wait until they are done with their conversation. When Michelle come's back she has TK on her hip telling him to make himself comfortable. He smiled and paused for a second when he saw me sitting in the seat opposite the one Michelle just offered him. Saying she'll be right back with the papers , I suppose that's what he's here for and I just shake my head knowing what she is trying to do.

I lean my head back on the couch to clear my head , I can feel him staring at me through my drunken haze though. I don't know what compelled me to open my eyes and just stare at him..

A/N:maybe the twelve ounces of vodka you had in that martini?

But I did. I leaned my head straight and looked at this astonishing man. He looked away for a second almost debating with himself. I guess he lost the debate because he looks at me again in a few seconds. Maybe I should speak, I thought.

" Hey TK , how have you been?" He looked at me and smiled a boyish smile and responded.

" Hey officer , I've been good. What are you doing here drunk on a Monday night?" I laughed at the nickname brushing off the sexual attraction I felt when he said it. D*mn this alcohol in my system.

I look at the stairs Michelle disappeared up and decided to take a risk. I smiled at him like an idiot. " I'm not drunk. Come here , I'll show you exactly how "drunk" I am." He raised his eyebrow at me being skeptical , and he had a right to be. I just learned his name today and I'm asking him to see how drunk I am. Drunk Carlos= Papi Carlos.

Tk comes over and sits beside me. I pull him closer so our noses are almost touching. He looks shocked for a second, but catches on and puts his finger between my eyes. I laugh loudly at his attempt to lessen the sexual tension between us, leaning my head back which makes him smile.

Something in him changes thought because he quickly puts his arms around my neck , connecting his hands together in my hair and pulls my head forward. Our noses do touch this time and the contact he created combined with his warm skin on mine made me ache. When was the last time I've been touched like this?

It was by HIM. never again. I won't let HIM taint this moment.

Picking him up by his waist, I pull him into my lap making us the same height. I look into his hooded eyes seeing the same thing I was feeling. I lean forward kissing him like my life depends on it. He takes in a shocked breath before moaning quietly into my mouth. I put my right hand on his throat squeezing slightly. Slowly rising from the base of his throat to his chin , moving his head to the side to deepen the kiss , while my left hand was sitting on his waist.

He starts rolling his hips , pulling me closer to him. I lift him up by his hips off my lap to lay him down on the couch. He reaches under my shirt pulling it up slightly , running his hands up my chest and down my back. Feeling his soft hands travel all over my skin makes me grind my hips into him. He breaks the kiss moaning and I pull his head up leaving soft but lingering wet kisses down his neck, nipping at his throat . He cups me through my pants and I bite his bottom lip pulling on it looking at him. He then hooked his ankles together behind my back forcing me to push my lower body weight into him, pushing his small frame deeper into the couch. Leaning up on my knees pulling away to take off my shirt , I looked down at Tk and his f*ck me hair with his red juicy lips from our kissing. He looks like pure sin and I can't get enough. Sin is just what I need right now, making me want to kiss him even more.

I don't know what this man is doing to me, I'm at my best friend's house on her couch basically tongue f*cking her co-worker , on her couch. I want to say it's the vodka martini still sitting on her table

*that DUSSE make me do whatever you say lmaoo*

But I know very well that it's 85% me and 15% the alcohol. F*ck it she was telling me she wanted a new couch set anyways.

I pull the bottom of his shirt trying to undo the buttons ripping a few ,when we hear footsteps putting a halt to what were doing. I pull him up onto my lap nipping at his lip once more. Setting him on his feet, we turn to look at Michelle looking at some papers coming down the steps. She looks up and comes to a halt when she see's the dazed state TK was in, I nudged him and he smiled at her. She gave him the papers and walked him to the door , he turned around looking at me as he walked away. When he turned back around I noticed how low his jeans hung on his beautiful body wanting to pull him back to me.

Just for a little bit? No I can't.

I watch them walk away from me as I drink my mineral water. I drink so much I barely feel the alcoholic ringing in my ears , as well as the fuzziness in my head. I slowly get up to re-fill my glass of mineral water when Michelle comes back in the room. I lower my head , faking being in a drunken state to avoid the millions of questions I know that she has.

To say the least , it doesn't work.

"Come on Carlos baby, I know you to well to think you would be sh*t faced drunk in front of him. How was work today when you got back to the station?" I relax a little seeing that she dropped the conversation about TK. "It was kind of hectic at the scene but for the most part when I got to the station, I just talked to my boss and clocked out."

"Hmmm, sounds boring. Let's talk about something more interesting, yes?" I looked at her feigning innocence, but I knew it wouldn't work so I just exposed myself before I embarrassed myself. "I MADE OUT WITH TK WHILE YOU WERE UPSTAIRS."

"I know it was disrespectful and I'm sorry about your couch" I said looking at her , only feeling bad about the couch. I mean she does have to sit on this and so does everyone else who visits her house.

She just looks at me surprised she didn't have to force it out of me like she has to everything else. We share a look then she smirks, leaning down laughing at me. I know she isn't mad at me.

"Damn my best friend gets more play than me in my own house , I'm not surprised if you were straight I would make out with you too" she said shrugging.

She always tells me how handsome I am but I don't believe her. That's what your best friend is supposed to say.

"You should get some sleep, I hope for your sake that vodka martini isn't as low as it looks or your going to be in for a rough morning bud. I love you bunches C" kissing the top of my head as she walks out. I'm left with my thoughts.

I can't stop smiling. Even after knowing I'll be in a bad position in the morning , I just sit and bask in this moment.

I kissed TK Strand...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: wow guys 35 reads in 3 days??? this is crazy. I love you guys. This chapter took me a while I was in a mood when I started writing and I wasted a lot of time trying to get myself back in a good mood to continue writing. How was the little bit of smut? you like?? Let me know!
> 
> ~PS-it was my first time writing it, so humor me yeah?
> 
> Follow me on here to get a notification when I upload a chapter 
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> -xo, steph


	6. C6/ No alcohol present

( TK POV)

"Where were you? I thought we were doing dinner tonight since were both off early?" I asked my dad. It wasn't like him to not show without a text or call at the least. I thought the worst , but turns out I was just being paranoid. He was at Michelle's picking up something. But why Michelle? And what was he picking up? I thought.

We ended up eating separately anyway , he seemed like he had a lot on his mind so I gave him a break. "Can we do dinner next week? I'm sorry about today kid, I really am." He said , and of course I said yes. He's done everything for me since the split with him and my mom, I won't hold a grudge over a dinner.

Once I knew he was asleep , I pulled on some ripped jeans and a simple button up. Walking out the door to my car, I headed to Michelle's house. I needed to find out what was more important than our dinner. It had to be big because, he's never missed or been late to one of our dinners. I pulled into her driveway, putting my game face on before I knocked on the door.

I played with my bracelet out of nervousness , it's a bad habit I have.

The door opens to Michelle smiling at me , and I slowly relax and start smiling back.She has this aura about her that makes you feel peaceful. She invites me in , and I try not to be blunt with my intentions but my voice gives me away.

" Hey TK , how are you doing?"

TK" Yeah , I'm good. Can you tell me why my dad was here earlier? Is there something he isn't telling me?" Great for not sounding like a self-centered as*hole. I mentally roll my eyes at myself , I'm not a good speaker when i'm nervous.

" He came by just to talk about a few things. He told me you would be by tonight but I thought he was over exaggerating. But here you are." She said making me smile a little bit. My dad and I are really close. He knows me more than I know myself sometimes ,it's kind of scary. But better him than a therapist.

" He needed some names of medicines that aren't opioid based , so that they would be safe around you in the house. He tried to look on his own online so he would be able to make it to the dinner but he needed a little more persuasion aside from what the internet was giving him. He came here and we talked , not realizing we went over and he rushed out headed to you." She said looking at me with a small smile on her face. It's like she's looking into my soul when she does that , I just laugh quietly.

" Thank you Michelle , is there anyway you have a list or something of what he decided to try? Just so I can check behind him, if he needs me to?" I asked looking at her with a little bit of worry in my eyes. She nods her head waving her hand telling me to follow her. "It's just upstairs , do you have time to sit? I have to write it." she asked , pausing at an entry way.

"Of course , I don't want to intrude I'll just stay down here. No problem." I said trying to make up for practically wasting her time. She walks me into her living room which is surrounded in almost all glass wear. From the table to the vases that some flowers are in to the bookcase that holds maybe 50 books on it.

I look around amazed that she is able to live here and not break anything.

While looking around , she tells me where to sit and opposite of where I was going to sit was officer Reyes , or like he asked me to call him Carlos. He looks good, I thought.. but what is he doing here? Is this some kind of set up? Maybe I should just ask her to text me the list or send a picture after she's done writing it.

I sit down because what the h*ll. I have nothing else better to do. She assures me she'll be right back with the list and I just smile at her.

I see a vodka martini on the glass table in front of the chair Carlos is sitting in and I raise my eyebrow looking at him. He speaks first

" Hey TK , how have you been?"

I just look at him, he's so cute when he's drunk obviously too. I smirk and respond

" Hey officer, I've been good. What are you doing here drunk on a Monday night?"

Something flickered in his eyes to quick for me to figure out what it was. He laughed leaning his head back which made me smile. Oh I thought , he just laughed and I got butterflies.

" I'm not drunk. Come here , i'll show you exactly how "drunk" I am." 

Raising my eyebrow I stay where I am for a couple seconds seeing if he is kidding. When I look back into his eyes and see the challenge there , I get up and sit beside him, but not to close.

Wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea. I mean he's hot no doubt , but he's also drunk and not thinking logically hence him asking me to sit here.

He pulls me closer to him and I gasp at his bold action.

I have to keep it together , I don't want to take advantage of this gorgeous man while he was drunk and he regrets it in the morning. I look at him, I mean really look at him. Him in all of his long beautiful eyelash glory , the speckle of golden brown in his deep brown eyes draws you in, making you not want to look away.

I snap myself out of his lustful gaze and put my finger between his eyes. Still trying to see how drunk he really is. He talks quite clearly to have down it looks like 12 ounces of vodka martini on the table.

I smile at him , he's laughing again. He must laugh a lot because his eyes follow my hand perfectly. I quirk my head to the side. He's not as drunk as I thought.

So was this really just him flirting with me?

I put my arms around those strong shoulders , just wanting to touch him. I take it a step further and run my fingers through his hair binding them together to stay there and pull his face to me. Our noses touch and I look at him.

What am I doing? This is Michelle's house , I move to get off of him just as he leans in to kiss me. Well sh*t. Michelle girl i'm sorry... I tried to do the right thing, but who in their right mind was going to dodge a kiss from this adonis in front of me? I'll apologize when I see her at work tomorrow.

He kisses me so passionately , I feel like i'm melting from the inside out.I pull his hair when he sticks his tongue in my mouth, pulling him closer to me at the same time. I moved against him needing some type of friction, I don't know how long I can handle him.

I move my hands to his strong shoulder's holding onto him. He kisses like a dream, I bet he f*cks like one too.

He taste of vodka and chocolate but not to much. I'm already in his lap but I move myself up higher to sit over where he needs me.

His hand on my throat applying pressure slightly accelerating my breathing. I love it. I feel him drawing lazy circles on my waist right above the band of my black Calvin Klein boxer briefs, I arch into his touch silently asking him for more and to stop teasing me. Rolling my hips to reinforce my plea.

He slants my head to deepen the kiss and I start to feel a strong pull in my stomach to touch him below his shoulders. He lifts me off of his lap to lay me down on the couch. We're both breathing heavily when we break apart , I take the opportunity to touch him without his distracting mouth on mine. I reach under his shirt only pulling it up a little just in case he wasn't ready to take it off. I run my fingertips along his beautiful tanned but toned skin, he grinds his groin into mine and I gasp stopping my treasure hunt on his body to feel all of him against me.

I gasp and lean my head back, putting my hands on his hips trying to get him to keep going but he kisses my neck instead. Leaving me really hot , I feel like i'm a volcano about to erupt but in ice water. When he heats me up to much he cools me down by giving me gentle touches around my body.

I cup him through his sweats, stroking him slowly so he know's what I feel like. Trying to pull him to me by pulling the waistband, he complies by putting all of his lower body weight on me and I just moan softly into his neck , which I know he likes.

He pulls on my shirt sending some buttons flying but i'm to far gone to care at this point. I start helping him when he pulls back slightly staring at me and I blush.

Next thing I know he lifts me onto my feet fixing my shirt and hair right before Michelle comes downstairs with a paper in her hands.

"What is she doing here?" I whispered to Carlos and he smiled and just nudged me. Then I realized that she lives here... this is her house and we practically almost f*cked on her couch.

I can't say I've never done something similar but dad walked in on that one and it was my house that time.

"Sorry that took me so long , I couldn't find the official name of the last two but you can always ask your dad. He has the list with the real names." she says to me as we walk to the door.

I turn to look at Carlos as he smirks at my a*s, one of the main reasons I love these jeans. They make my a*s look great. I just give him a side smile and turn back around.

" Thank you Michelle, I don't know what he would to without you. So thank you for everything I guess."

I said smiling at her while she just smirked. Their she goes looking into my soul again. I give her a hug as she laughs off my thanks

"Anytime TK , you and your dad know that."

I walked out the door, with Michelle behind me , I parked behind Carlos's Corvette. Everything keeps reminding me of him for whatever reason. I unfold the paper and see a number at the top right corner, I get into my car and laugh at Michelle. "I already have your number Michelle."

She gazes at me for a second and smirks,

,"just call it I got a new one."

I look at her shaking my head I pick up my phone to type in the number , putting on my seat belt at the same time. I call the number and it rings twice before they pick up.

I look at Michelle with her back to me walking away smiling and I flip her off to her back. I hear Carlos's velvet voice answer my call

"Hello?"

" Hey officer."

"How did you get my number? Are you a stalker?" he joked fake gasping at the end for dramatics

" No sir, just Michelle doing her thing." he understood because he didn't question me further.

" I'll save your contact if you save mine" he is such a kid.

" Of course , one condition though"

" Shoot."

" I want my name in your phone to be"Sexiest firefighter in Austin" no exceptions Carlos."

I heard his laugh from the other side of the phone and smile . He has me sprung I just know it.

TK- " Any request for your name in my phone?"

" Hmmmm, I think I want mine to be papi carlos."

I smirk

" You are a papi, that name'll fit you."

I said flirting again, I can't seem to help it with him

" Shut up TK, i'll call you when I wake up from my sleep if you want me to?"

he says a question in his voice.

" Yeah but just text me first , I'll see if i'm at work."

I said smiling a little

" Don't forget greasy foods for that hang over buddie."

I smirk

"After what we did i'm more than your "buddie" TK , don't worry there's more where that came from."

I blush at his bold statement and lean my head on my seat. I shifted my pants and responded

" Now officer , are you trying to have phone sex with me?"

I said giggling at the end

He bust out laughing and I smile. Yep i'm whipped, I thought.

" Night/morning TK"

he said and I could hear the sleep in his voice

" Goodnight my Carlos."

he hums and then I hang up.

GoOdNiGhT mY cArLoS stupid. I thought to myself as I drove home.

I see my dad waiting for me in the kitchen when I get back.

" You went to Michelle's didn't you" I nodded my head , holding up the list in my hand.

" Who's number is that in the corner?" he asked , I froze for a second before he said

" As long as you were safe son , I don't care. I love you kid you know that." he said walking into his room and closing the door.

" Love you too dad" I did the same , having a sleep filled with Carlos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey my babies , I wanted to do TK's POV so you could choose which one you like better comment what you think!
> 
> follow me on here to get a notification when I upload a new chapter
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> -xo,steph


	7. C7/ You can't do that I'm in uniform

{Carlos POV}

A/N: Hey babies double upload ?? I don't know (;

This isn't going to be a long chapter , I just wanted to give you guys something to say sorry for the super late upload yesterday.

This chapter will go between POV's okayyyyy

Enjoy !!

I get a call about a flooded Taco Bell , and head south for a straight shot to the restaurant , I arrive with my partner who goes to the front to guess how many people are in the building while I go to the back. I go around to the drive through window and break it with my foot. Being cautious of the glass I let the water flood out. It wasn't fast enough I thought, I moved to the other window facing the street and kicked it open with my foot again. This window shattered and I was able to get through the window, I quickly grabbed someone and brought them out running them to the front of the restaurant. I go back for someone else , quickly grabbing a woman and bringing her to the front. Making my way to the back again , I grab a boy who looks about 19 and bring him to the front. By the time I make it to the back again the FD is here and I grab one more person, not being able to get into the back of the store where the other few employees are. I ran to the front of the Taco Bell, seeing the captain and his team get to work. I find my partner and help her get witness statements , this all started over a cigarette. How ironic.

*Witness statements *

A customer pulls into the drive through and gets into an argument with the employee and pulls up to the window , they fight further and the customer flicks his cigarette in the employee's face so the employee tells him to come inside. Well that was a bad idea because the customer had a gun and tried to shoot the employee but missed and hit the slushie machine which is what flooded the store. The manager is the only one with the emergency exit keys and she was out getting the team chick-fil-a for lunch.

End of witness statement*

I pulled my car behind the EMT , changing the top of my uniform, pulling my belt off. I put it in the car and unbuttoned my shirt when I saw a shadow coming towards the truck. I don't do anything about it , thinking it's one of the EMT's putting someone in the truck. I turn around to see TK smirking at me. I roll my eyes

" What are you doing?? Why would you sneak up on me like that? I thought I was going to have to fight a crackhead or something" I said quickly while he just snickered at my confession and walked closer to me. I just looked at him he had on his uniform similar to mine and he looked hot ( per usual)

He keeps coming closer and I look at him questioning what he is trying to do. He stops 1 foot away from me and I laugh, " What are you doing? And why do you keep looking at me like that!"

He continues to stare and I turn around

" Nice a*s buddy" he says and I shake my head.

I finish unbuttoning the top of my uniform , pulling it out of my pants afterwards. I feel TK's presence behind me and I look back briefly at him. He comes in front of me and pulls me by my open shirt into a kiss, I pull him closer shifting so his back is up against the back side of the EMT truck , holding him by his hips , I lift him up and he wraps his legs around me. I break the kiss because I hear TK's phone ringing

" Ignore it."

" Answer the phone TK." I said slowly, putting him back on his feet , pecking his lips one more time before I turned around to finish changing my shirt.

TK POV:

He turns away from me and I glare at his back, how dare whoever is calling me interrupt what I had so masterfully planned.

I answer the phone " Hello"

" Hey TK where are you? We've been looking for you around the site but can't find you anywhere."

Shit we are at a accident site I forgot " Oh i'm coming now , I was just out back be there in 5"

I hang up the phone looking at Carlos's fine ass

He's pulling his white tee over his head exposing all those beautiful toned muscles " You're making it hard to leave..."

"Use your willpower baby" he said coming up to me pecking my lips twice.

I pull him into me licking his lip then pulling on it , still looking at him.

"Don't"

" Don't Carlos?" I said, smirking. He stepped back unbuttoning his pants to change , but of course I thought otherwise.

" Come here one last hug?" I pout at him , he laughs softly falling for the bait. He wraps his arms around my waist squeezing me , " You will see me after my shift TK , you can go a couple more hours my love." he said so calmly I almost forgot my plan. 

But nope.

I unbutton his second button on his pants and pull down the zipper when his hands cover mine , I look up at him. In this moment right now he looks like the definition of a sex symbol and I want him even more than I thought I did.

He pulls my head back and kisses the life out of me , I hold onto his hair loving the bruising kisses he always gives me when I don't listen. He pulls my hair and I lean my head back missing him already.

"Stop TK , we can't do this in our uniforms" he says in the sexiest voice I have ever heard. I move my hands up his chest and rest my head there too. He rubs my back, then steps away to put on his other uniform.

I help him button up when Michelle comes behind the truck to close the door and I blush a deep red. I know how this looks and it doesn't look good to say the least. I hid my head in Carlos's neck.

" Hey Michelle, sorry about Monday," I said, twisting my bracelet. Like I said, bad habit.

She brushes me off " C already apologized for the both of you, were you having pt.2 here?" she said, smirking and I laughed really loud , drawing attention to myself by accident.

" Bye Michelle , I don't even know what to say."

I winked at Carlos and walked back to the truck my teammates were just staring at me , I looked at them confused.

" You said 5 mins and you come back with a hickey? What were you doing?"

I pale

"Hickey?" my dad says and I look at Paul who covers his mouth not knowing my dad was right there

" No hickory, he wanted some hickory bacon" Mateo said and I just got in the truck not even bothering to put my headphones on , I don't want to talk about it.

We get back to the station to see Carlos's patrol car parked in the front , while he sits on the hood texting. Looking fine , if I do say so myself. I was about to open the door when Judd stopped me saying we still need to park. No one else saw him yet , only me. I was looking at him through the window. I feel my phone vibrate and check it since were in the truck, I look at it

*Papi Carlos*- Hey , your pen fell when we were talking earlier , i'm outside now if you want it.

I roll my eyes at "talking earlier". "We really didn't do much talking actually , if I remember correct-"

"Who are you texting, kid?" my dad said startling me , I tried to hide my surprised expression though and play it off. "Michelle , I left my chapstick at her house on monday."

I head to the lockers eager to see Carlos in the front to get my pen. I shouldn't be this excited but I am , I quickly undress and leave the locker room leaving behind my confused team mates.

I go outside and hug Carlos missing his arms around me when I left earlier. " Somehow you made me fall for you" he whispers quietly making my heart squeeze in my chest at his confession.

" I'm falling for you as we speak Carlos. You make it so easy , I'm just so guarded it's hard for me to trust people. You've given me no reason not to trust you Carlos. Don't give me a reason too. Good things don't last forever, so I just want to say thank you for right now and how ever long you are in my life for stopping by , for bringing me out of the darkness and helping me find myself."

" You were born strong TK. I know it you just have to realize for yourself and keep moving forward. I'm going to be in your life forever by the way. I won't let you go, and when you fall I'm going to be there to catch your love. That's a promise." he said , making me tear up .

He kisses my check hugging me a little longer and having to leave soon after , giving me my pen back I put it on his belt.

" Use it to remember me by"

"Yes sir" he said, playing along.

"Oooo sir , say it again" I tease as he gets back into his car. Driving away I wave bye at him.

I come into the kitchen to dinner being ready and everyone sitting down.

My eyes were puffing and I wasn't going to lie if my team asked. Which they did and I told them Carlos made me cry.

" In a bad way?" Judd said , my dad nodding in agreement

And I had to shake my head quickly. " No in a good way, leave him alone please."

They nod and I relax knowing they won't go after him. That would be such a mess. I look at my second family around the table as we crack jokes and keep eating.

I love these people. And I love Carlos. I was so close to telling him especially after his confession, but something was still holding me back. I don't want to say it if i'm not ready so I didn't.

Looking at myself in the mirror , I was brushing my teeth as I saw the hickey. It was turning purple and I texted Carlos.

" Someone sucks like a vacuum!"

c-" Sorry about that, not really though."

"Baby you know I work with my dad right? I'm sure everyone saw it too!"

C- " You started it by bringing your fine ass behind an EMT truck."

I looked at the text shocked. No he didn't just try to blame me for a hickey that HE gave ME?

" You're kidding? You brought your fine ass back there first , I was just following you buddy"

I typed knowing he disliked being called a buddy.

C- " No one told you to follow me and i'm not your buddy , or am I just that to you?" I rolled my eyes at his response wishing I could see him in person to hug and kiss it better.

"See you later?"

C- "..."

I guess that was my answer, I shut off my phone and head to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: okay I said this would be short but in my defense , this is one of the shortest chapters I have written for this book so it still counts. :)
> 
> follow me on here to get notified when I upload a new chapter or just add this to your library. 
> 
> for anyone having a hard time , I love you and stay strong be safe and don't harm yourself. Look up into the sky and count to 10 focusing on the stars you got this baby. 
> 
> Find a reason to stay , no matter how big or how small anything will help. Focus your energy on something good . Don't be afraid to text me I always respond in the Dm's or in the comments.
> 
> #keepgoing.
> 
> #stopsuicide.
> 
> I love you deeper than you'll ever know for supporting this book , I worked so hard and it being my first book , going through everything right now. You guys and God are my light thank you for deciding to take this journey with me. 
> 
> I love you deep.
> 
> -xo,steph


	8. C8/ Deep trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: So sorry about the late upload again. I am trying to do better double upload tomorrow to make up for it, yes?
> 
> comment your thoughts about this chapter I feel like it sucks. :(
> 
> follow me on here or add this story to your library so you get notified when I upload a new chapter.
> 
> I love you all , thank you again for taking this journey with me. 
> 
> I love you deep.
> 
> Choose to stay , you got this baby.
> 
> -xo,steph

{ TK POV:

Punching the punching bag in the workout room isn't helping. Was Carlos really mad? Or has he gotten over it by now? I mean it has been a couple hours....

Who is this man? How dare he fill up my thoughts. I'm not going to double text him over a situation this small. I continue punching the bag , putting in my headphones this time. I hear the siren and run to the truck.

Back to work.

It's a simple call, one of the usual's . Owner's cat is in a tree and they can't get them down. We move into action and get the cat down in no time. We head back to the station , I have 10 minutes left on my shift.

I pass time by going into the workout room again, lifting weights this time. I look at my watch and realize I'm done.

Going to the back to clock-out , I see my dad.

"Hey kid, I have to do some overtime. Are you going to be good?" I nod my head

" Yeah I'll be good, you stay safe. Love you." I said as I kept walking. I say bye to the team and head home. I pass by a bar , " Mathew's bar" very original I thought. I pull into our lot and get out.

* 2 hours later *

I sit in the living room thinking. I have nothing to do , ever since my OD in New York I haven't really been in the house alone. I decided I'll go out for an hour or two and then come back home. I started thinking where should I go? I'm still quite new to Austin so maybe I should stick closer to the apartment, that bar down the street will work.

I get up to go get dressed in my room. I wear a matte red button up with some black ripped jeans to accent the shirt. I throw on 2 silver necklaces and 1 silver ring on my index finger just for the aesthetic. I go into the bathroom , taking some hair gel and gently move my strands onto one side.

I grab my keys off the kitchen table , and put on my dad's leather jacket off the kitchen chair. I lock up and text dad , telling him i'm not home.

I pulled into the parking lot looking for a space , I found one close to the front but I prefer to park in the back where there were more options.

Pulling out my ID , I make my way to the bar deciding on Jameson whiskey on the rocks. Looking around people are dancing and having a good time. I see a dart board and some pool tables, a neat little bar so maybe I'll come here more often.

I take a sip of my drink just listening to the music when I feel my phone vibrate in my jacket, I pull it out and look to see what it was.

Papi Carlos- Yeah, where though ?

I smile at my phone reading his message , I respond in a better mood than before.

" I thought you blew me off for a couple hours.."

Papi Carlos- Why would I blow you off?

" I don't know, I thought we were arguing over the buddy situation.. from earlier."

Papi Carlos- We did a lot of things earlier , I was just busy and didn't want to leave you on read. My over thinker 😘

" Fuck you 😭"

Papi Carlos- that you will. Am I picking you up or are we meeting somewhere?

" Oh, I'm at this bar down the street from my house it's called Mathews bar"

Papi Carlos- I barely go to bars, lucky I like you Sexiest firefighter in Austin.

"I like you too Papi. You want anything, I'm at the bar."

I don't get a response after a few minutes he must be driving, I order him mineral water with orange juice. He's light weight and works in the morning. I look at the dart board seeing no one is using it anymore. Maybe when Carlos gets here we can play a few rounds.

I feel arms wrap around me from behind and I look down expecting to see Carlos's tattoo upper arm , but I don't because this isn't Carlos.

I tense and start unwrapping the strangers arms from around my body. He wrapped them tighter not wanting to move. I closed my eyes and prayed for Carlos to get here quicker. I decide it's best to play along since he is much taller than me , almost the same height as Carlos but he's a little bit taller. I open my eyes and smile turning around to face the man.

I look him in his eyes, he looks decent, but not my type. I mentally roll my eyes as he smirks looking down at me , I try to casually look around him to see if Carlos is here, but I don't see him. I focus my attention back to this douchebag who won't let go of me.

"Drink?"

" You trying to get me drunk before we leave? You don't have to, we can leave right now if you like." He said with that stupid smirk still on his face. I want to kick him in his balls and run away , but I have to stay calm in situations like this, so I just laugh. My flirtatious laugh of course.

I push his shoulder back lightly , I push a lot harder than I intend to though , and that throws him off. I try to recover from it asking him to sit down , but he looks down at me getting angrier as the seconds pass.

" Is something wrong?" I yell over the music , it is now booming in my ears.

"Why did you push me that hard? If you want me to leave you alone just say that." he said looking like I didn't tell him no by trying to unwrap his arms from around me, I could have sworn that meant no. But I could be wrong. Not.

" Baby come on we're already late , what are you doing?" I looked over at Carlos standing beside me with water in his hands. I thank him with my eyes and move to get up when the douchebag pulls me back again.

I see Carlos ball his fist up behind his back and I give him a look saying stay calm.

I sit back down and calmly ask the douche bag

"What do you want from me? I have been respectful to you ever since you wrapped your arms around me. I never once acted out or called you a douchebag , which you are for not leaving me alone. When I tried to unwrap your arms from around me you just tightened them , making it hard for me to breathe so I faked it hoping that my boyfriend would get here in time to tell you to fuck off, and here he is. So this has been nice, not really though."

"Fuck off. "

"Who are you 2 assholes to tell me what to do? I'm a grown man, I can touch whoever I want whenever I want. You don't run me."

* sounds like donald trump...*

I just looked at him surprised that he would say such an ignorant thing. I mean even coming from him I was disappointed. I looked at Carlos right before he punched the man in the face. I got in the middle not wanting him to get arrested because of me. I pushed him back telling him to go outside , which of course he didn't leave me alone with this asshole again pulling me with him. The man follows us outside coming up to Carlos's car window and I get out and kick him in the balls , like I should have done an hour ago.

I rush back to the other side of the car and get in. "Pull off Carlos he's not worth it."

He looks at me and I shake my head , he sighs and pulls off , the man now in our rear view mirrors.

We pull into his driveway , driving around the circle and stopping in the middle. "What do you want to do about your car? it's still at the bar."

I shake my head not knowing what to do about it. I pull my phone out to text my dad , I know he'll have a plan and I'll just do whatever he tells me. I look at Carlos's busted knuckles and get out of the car.

" Get out Carlos , where's your first aid kit?" he looks at me confused as he gets out of the car.

"Your knuckles , first aid kit , location?!" I say it sounds like a broken record. He walks ahead of me unlocking the door stepping to the side to let me in. He takes his shoes off and puts his keys in a small beautiful bowl on a side table. I follow suit , don't want to break any rules my first time here, he might not invite me back.

He goes into a long hallway and I stand by the door not knowing where to go, waiting for his direction. I'd hate for him to come back to me in a random room snooping.

It's not the time for that.

I hear him opening some drawers and setting things down on a counter. He comes out of what I assume is a bathroom and yells at me

"Come down this hallway and make a left. I'm in the bathroom , unless you want to do this in my room." I come to him and look at him searching for bandages in his cabinets , I run my hands through his hair.

" Do you have bandages?" I ask calmly seeing him freak out over not being able to find them

" I thought I did, but I can't find them."

"It's fine Carlos , do you have band aids? They'll do the same thing. I've done this a few times okay."

He looks at me and I can see the question in his eyes over what I just said but he still nods and leads me to his bedroom. Putting the first aid kit and the rubbing alcohol on his otter man while he sits on his table in the middle of his room.

I start undoing the buttons on his shirt cuffs. I look at him rolling the sleeves up of his red dress shirt. If we were in better circumstances I would joke that we looked like we got dressed in the same house, he was just wearing tan distressed jeans with gold jewelry.

He is looking at his right hand , comparing it to his left which he busted the knuckles pretty good. He must have hit that dude's nose or landed a good punch to the jaw with the way his hand is looking right now.

I get to work slowly and gently wiping each knuckle to clean the blood and assess the actual amount of damage done to see if he even needs bandages. I get done and look at his hand.

He has very strong looking hands , but they are soft just like him. He's a very strong man but he is compassionate and caring , one of the kindest people I have ever met.

I start wrapping the band aids around each knuckle making his hands weird. He was going to have to go to work like in the morning. I move the supplies from the otter man to his couch and sit on it with my head in my hands. I got him into this mess,

*flashback*

" You can't just be normal for once? It's always something when we go out. Why do you crave the attention of the men around you? You're a whore. If I wanted a whore I would go to the corner and pick one up." He says glaring at me as I shrink back in the passenger seat looking out the window trying to swallow back my tears. Alex hates it when I cry. He said it makes me look weak and he needs a partner who is strong, who can handle his roughness sometimes. Even though sometimes it is all the time. I lean my head back looking up at the roof blinking back the tears. I learned from the last time I let them fall.

I look at Alex who is fuming , I open my mouth to apologize when he slaps me. I look down feeling the familiar burn on my cheek and turn back around , knowing he doesn't want me to say anything he just needs to vent.

" Don't make me regret choosing you Tyler. I have no problem letting you go if you don't want to be with me." He raises his hand to move my hair and I flinch away by accident.

He sees and puts his hand back on the wheel pulling into traffic, I close my eyes praying for the strength to take another beating if I need to.

*flashback ends*

I raise my head to look at Carlos who is rubbing my arm softly. I realized I was crying, wiping the tears that fell still hearing his voice in my head.

He gets up giving me a tissue putting it towards me and I flinch involuntarily and look down quickly not looking in his eyes. Why do I always get in these predicaments?

I get up heading to the door to leave when Carlos holds onto my hand gently but firmly, silently asking me not to go anywhere. I complied, pulling him into a hug, my arms were itching. I knew this feeling , it's the feeling I always get when I think I need drugs. I hold onto Carlos, my nails biting into his shoulders , I need to calm down. He sits me down on his lap and starts to slowly rock me back and forth, while running his hands through my hair slowly calming me.

He seemed like he had done this before but I don't question it , we don't know much about each other but I see the best in him and he in me. I look at him, this beautiful taking care of me , knowing what I need without me telling him. The only other person in my life who can do that is my dad.

He stares back at me as I lean in to kiss him. His worried eyes telling me that I don't have to talk about it if I'm not ready yet.

"Thank you." is all I could say at this point, he nodded his head understanding , letting me lean back onto him if I wanted too.

"You getting hurt because of me triggered some trauma. I forgot I even went through..it was scary to say the least. Thank you for being there for me through it. I would probably worry my dad with voicemails right now. I seem to be good at stressing people out. I'm sorry about the bar. I tried to get his arms off of me but he made them tighter around me."

C- That asshole, did he give you his number, anything that we can trace him to?

"No, I wouldn't have taken it even if he had tried to give it to me either. He's not worth any more time than we have already given him. We shouldn't have given him that much but you can't change the past." I say looking up at him as he nods at me. I feel his energy being off , like he was drifting into an uncomfortable memory. I try to pull him back to me before he is too far out of reach.

"I didn't want him, he wasn't even my type anyway." I said smiling a little into his neck. I feel his head move down looking at me , I feel some of the tension leave his shoulders and look up at him from under my lashes as he speaks

" You have a type? I'm intrigued , what is it?" he said softly caressing my cheeks with his hands rubbing along my jaw slowly lulling me into nothingness. I lose my train of thought when he does things like that. "Hmm?" I said forgetting what he asked me , he laughed softly and whispered sensing how sleepy I felt after his caresses.

"You have a type , what is it my love?" he said so softly , almost like caressing my ears. I open my eyes looking at him and say

"You , you're my type. Why look for anything else.. when you're all I need. You are everything. My love, I like that." I said laughing quietly at his reaction. He looked shocked like I just said something in Japanese. I rub my hands palm down across his chest , his shirt was so soft I could sleep in it.

I could sleep on him too. The top of his shirt was unbuttoned already , so I continue to unbutton the rest and help him out of it. He has a couple tattoo's and I want to ask about them , but I'm too tired. I lean into his chest inhaling his scent calming me down and making me sleepy at the same time. I kiss him " I can spend the night?"

He looks at me confused for a second.." You don't have to ask. I don't have any clothes that would fit you though." he said shrugging his shoulders , I laugh at him and pull him into his bed , promising to make breakfast in the morning

"You are going to be my breakfast.." I smack his shoulder, "Ha , no way. Nice try though. Goodnight Carlos." I lay on top of him , with my head over his heart.

"Night , my love."


	9. C9/ Bitter sweet

{Carlos POV}

It was bittersweet helping TK through his withdrawal. It brought back memories I haven't dealt with yet... They say time is the best healer but I choose a tattoo instead. On my upper left arm is a yellow rose. Half of it is in an ice cube while the other half is underneath a sun. In memory of my sister.   
She had two sides of her. I got to see both sides over time because she came to me after he would beat her almost to death sometimes , our family never did. Her husband was a junkie and that asshole dragged her down with him. When they first got married she was a vibrant yellow rose underneath the sun , blowing in the wind. Until he had an accident and got injured at work , he got addicted to his pain pills and she had no idea until it was to late. When Emily tried to get him off of them he started beating her. The man she loved changed forever after that accident. Ever since that day, she had become frozen in time just taking his beatings. My frozen yellow rose.  
The asshole didn't even give us his condolences, I mean he beats women I should expect anything less of him. He's not even a man.

She was the best little sister anyone could have, smart , a great secret keeper, loving , very kind. My sweet Emily, I miss her everyday.   
Wounds like this don't ever go away, you just learn to deal with them.

I cried for 1 hour when Emily died then forced myself to stop, if I didn't I would have been crying all day. Healing and taking mental health days is unheard of in my family. They don't believe in things like that but Emily did. She was the hybrid out of us. She was spontaneous while I was calculated.She was care free while I was worried. Total opposites that met in the middle to connect so deeply.

To my sweet Emily , you didn't deserve to die how you died. Yes we will all die at one point but Emily it wasn't your time. We both know it.   
I prayed for your freedom every night but you still choose to stay, I prayed for your strength but you choose not to accept it.   
I would pick you up from wherever he left you , patch you up and let you sleep at my place no questions asked , that was my fault. I let you get comfortable coming around me with bruises. What type of big brother am I when I couldn't protect you. All I had in this world at one point was you. All we had was each other ... how did things go so wrong.

When I took the job to be a police officer we went out to celebrate, you even bought me a cake with a badge on it. I'll never forget that day Emily, You were the first person I told because I knew you would support me.

Your death brought me closer with mom and dad , made them realize that life is short , they don't accept me but they want me in their lives. I try my best with them because I know that is what you would want from me. I try my best to be what you would want me to be now that you are gone since I couldn't protect you while you were here.

I don't deserve a sister like you. I didn't at least , maybe that's why god took you away from me. I just wasn't ready for him to pull you back up into heaven yet.

I wished I would have known how to handle you better while you were with me , maybe you would have been able to stay just a little while longer if I had.

I wake up to TK still on my chest ,even with him here , my chest is still tight from my thoughts.

I slowly remove TK's arm from around my waist , getting off the bed while trying not to wake him. I get half of my body off when he rolls back over on my arm. I smiled a little at his cuteness , I used my free arm to tuck a pillow where my arm is and quickly switch the two.

I head into the kitchen to see eggs bacon and grits in the warmer above the stove. He also left a note

" Morning papi, how did you sleep? Just wanted to keep my end of our deal. Thank you for always supporting me , through everything okay byeee❤️"

\- Sexiest firefighter in Austin😉

I shake my head at him, how did he get up and I not feel him move? My dream must have taken a bigger effect on me than I thought.

I quietly but quickly eat my food, taking it to the sink to wash it.

I have a dishwasher but I like washing dishes gives me something to do while I also get some time to clear my head a little. Being productive while focusing on my mental health ✅

Emily taught me that. She also taught me domestic violence can happen to even the strongest people. Thanks to her , I have an even greater drive and purpose behind being a cop.   
Saving people from others whether it be a spouse. stranger, sibling or themselves is a blessing that I can give.

I wake up every morning thankful that god has given me another day to make someone else's day better. I'm truly blessed.

Always try to see the good in every situation , Emily taught me that as well.

I go back into my bedroom looking for TK , to thank him for my breakfast but he's not in bed when I come back. I look around the room to find him , when I see my en suite bathroom light on I relax. Walking into my closet , I pull out 2 towels and 2 face towels, knowing he will want to take a shower.   
I come back out to him in my robe brushing his teeth, he looks better than me in it.   
He can have it.

I walk up to him , hugging him tightly, making sure not to hit his toothbrush.

" Thank you for my breakfast, I appreciate it more than you know." I said to him , kissing the top of his wet head. It's one of the few things someone has done for me and I really do appreciate it.

He nods at me , his mouth filled with toothpaste . I let him go back into the bathroom to finish going back into my closet to get my uniform. I grab my belt and throw it on my bed , only wanting to make one trip. Yes I'm lazy in the morning.

I walk out closing the door to use the mirror on the front of it. Tk comes out of the bathroom pecking me on the lips.

"You're welcome papi. When do you have to be at work?" I look at my watch 8:30 ,

"About an hour, I'm usually early though. We need to get your car so get dressed baby." he nods looking for his clothes , "I put them in the washer when I got up , my closet is right through there, get whatever you want."

I grab my belt putting it on , as well as my badge off my bed side table. Waiting for TK to come out I check my phone. I didn't check it last night, we had a lot going on, I just wanted to sleep after it all. I scroll through my regular notifications and see a text from my mom. I quickly click and read it...

"We need to talk. Text me later?" I furrow my eyebrows , we don't have anything to talk about. They don't know about TK and Emily is dead. What is there to talk about? I thought. I still respond.

"Yes later." A few minutes later TK comes out of my closet. I look at him , seeing him in my clothes automatically putting me in a better mood. I turn my phone off and put it face down beside me. TK follows the action raising his eyebrow at me and I just shrug it off. I haven't told him anything about my relationship with my family yet, I'm just not ready that's all. I reached my hand palm up to him grabbing my things so we could leave. He takes my hand and we leave the house. I grab my keys and my shoes ,walking barefoot to my car.

"You okay? Your mood seems off a little bit. You don't have to talk about it , I just want to know if you are okay."

" I'm okay, just a little distracted for some reason that's all." I open his door for him , then get into my side and drive to Mathew's Bar to get his car. We sit in silence as I drive , TK holds my other hand though, quietly giving me some support which I appreciate. We get to the bar , with only 10 minutes to spare before I'm late to work. I kiss him goodbye and drive off quickly trying not to be late to work.

*Later that day*

Work was nothing special , I have been running in circles wondering why my mom would want to talk with me.   
I know this sounds bad , but she only texts me when it's about someone else. So the real question is who does she need to talk to me about?

The last time I checked in with the family everyone was okay and well health wise. Did something happen and I did not even realize... I'm pulled out of my trance by the vibration of my phone. I look at the message and freeze , it's never about him..

"It's your father. When do you get off work?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: hey babies , this book reached 106 reads today🥺 I could cry, but I'm a thug . I really appreciate everyone who supports me and this book or if you just support the book, thank you so much 🥺❤️  
> I'll be uploading another chapter today to make up for last night , see you in a few hours babies   
> I love you all sooooooo deep.  
> -xo, Steph.


	10. C10/ Reconciliation and realization

{Carlos POV}

He's never been sick... he's also never been hurt, so what is this about? Are they getting a divorce? I'm sure she wouldn't be this serious about telling me , we're all adults now. It's not that serious.

40 years working on our own farm , and he hasn't missed a day. When I was a baby I can remember my mother sitting me on her lap to just watch him work outside in the yard. He didn't believe in women getting jobs. He always told me "Son , when you find your woman, you take care of her better than you take care of yourself. Your mother and you are my life. Y'all always come first. Just like your women and your kid will when they come along."

I would feel good knowing that me and my mom were his world, but I would never " find a girl" or a woman for that matter. I knew I was gay since 15, really before then but I accepted myself at 15 if you know what I mean. I would look at dad and nod my head so he knows I heard him. But I wouldn't dare tell him I won't find a woman.

I texted mom back, " I'm coming now." not waiting for a response I tell my partner it's a family emergency and grab my keys and wallet forgetting to clock out before I left.

I make the 30 minute drive from work straight to our farm , and stop at the mail before pulling into the driveway. I hold the mail out the window giving it to my cousin Travis to give to my dad when he can like always , unless that was going to change after this talk. No. I can't think the worst , not while I'm outside the house at least.

I get out of the car , just as my mom comes out using her hand to tell me to come in. I made my way in quickly , she went back into the house before I made it to the steps and that alone sent me into action, I started jogging into the house to see what happened.

"Mom , where are you?" I asked trying to find her but there were too many doors when you first walked in the house, it was so confusing at times. "I'm in our bathroom, please hurry!" I ran into my parents bathroom, seeing my dad on the floor with a huge blood spot on the front of his shirt, while he lay on his back. I bend down grabbing a towel off the bar stool and press it down firmly on his stomach.

" Papi what the hell? Why didn't you call me or something , I went through almost a full 12 hour shift and your bleeding out on the floor papi! Why?" I asked frustrated but mainly worried for the stubborn man in my arms on the floor.

" It looks worse than it actually is mijo. I just need some stitches maybe." he said dismissing the position he is in right now. I lift his shirt to see a long welt cut open from the bottom right of his abdomen to almost the top of his left rib cage. I look down at the man I looked up to my entire life, he is the strongest man I know and Emily was the strongest woman I knew.

I decided at that moment, I can't let him die. He was my hero once upon a time, and most of all he is my father , I have to do this.

"We have to go to the hospital. I don't have anything with me here to stitch you up. And when you do get stitched up, you can't work for 2 weeks, and you can't shower for a full day after you get them as well."

"Mijo you know we aren't here legally , we tried to get the papers done but once Emily died we stopped trying. We felt like we lost everything when she died. We had already lost you long before she died, she was the only thing connecting us to you , she would update us on how you were doing and your achievements , your ranks at your job, everything mijo. We never forgot about you, we didn't want to force our way into your life so we loved you from a distance because that's what we thought you wanted." I wrapped the towel tight around his body trying my best to stop the blood while he was talking. I wanted to but I had to keep it together for the sake of both of them. I carried him bridal style in the car and laid him down in the back seat , my mom sitting in the passenger seat.

" Ok no hospitals, I'll call Michelle"

I put her name into my key pad in my car " Hey siri , call Michelle smart ass"

The rings start to sound through the Bluetooth in my car , after three rings she answered

" Hey C , how are things going wit-"

"Michelle, my dad is hurt, really bad."

" Take him to the hospital C , I'm here , I'll take care of him if you want me too"

"Papers M" she got the memo, and sparked into action

"Where are you now? road?"

"ronalda rd"

"Turn down salem and take the first right , I'll be there in 8 minutes or less , compress the wound"

"Thank you so much M, love you"

" Love you too, and Carlos?"

"Yes?"

" Stay strong , he's going to be okay I know it. Less than 8 minutes away now." she said reading my thoughts I nod my head and she hangs up. I pull into her mom's driveway and carry my dad out of the car carefully. "Mom , can you knock on the door?"

"Hey Carlos , what- come in" she says, opening the door then seeing my dad. I thank her and walk into her living room , laying him down on the ground, not wanting to mess up her couch.

" What are you doing? Put him on the couch , he needs the support"

" No ma'am I don't want to stain your couch , I'm comfortable down here thank you so much for helping me and mijo. You and your mija are a godsend."

" Foolishness put him on the couch right now before I do it myself Carlos!"

I shake my head at her, and slowly lift him up, putting him on the couch making sure a pillow is behind his head supporting him.

Michelle comes in 5 minutes later, I look at her and she leans down smiling at my dad. "Hi Pablo, long time no see. What happened to you, what were you doing that cut you this deep? And don't say you took a small fall." she said raising her eyebrow at her I nod agreeing.

" I was working out on the farm when our neighbor's dog got loose. I didn't think much of it until the dog lunged at me and scratched me a little on my stomach. I walked into the house realized I was bleeding and laid down for a second on the floor. Well a second turned to a couple hours. Maria texted Carlos after I had been on the floor for a couple of hours and he came after she told him it was about me. I would say that was about 30 minutes ago, ever since then he has been putting pressure on it like you asked him too" he said smiling up at Michelle, who was just shaking her head I couldn't help but do the same thing. How dangerous would that have been if he had not called me sooner?

I really need to get closer with them for Emily, for myself and for their safety. I have some friends who patrol this area, I'll tell them to watch extra close to their house.

Michelle stitched up my dad and told him 1 day until he can shower and 2 weeks before he can go back to work.

I get up and follow Michelle into her mom's kitchen and lean against the counter , that was to close for my liking. Leaning my head down , I close my eyes , trying to remind myself my dad is alive on the couch and that he was going to recover just fine. I hug Michelle , she doesn't say anything knowing how I feel about my parents, she just hugs me ,rubbing my back in a soothing gesture. I hug her mom and kiss her on the cheek , " Thank you for letting us into your home, especially under these circumstances. I don't know where we would have gone if your house wasn't so close by" I said she smiled and gave me another hug.

" You're always welcome here, anyone related to you is like family to me." she said, making me smile even with the situation.

I look back in their living room and see my mom struggling to help my dad get up , I rush over to help him stand and freeze when he turns in my arms to give me a hug.

" Thank you mijo." I pat his back not knowing what to do , the last time we hugged was Emily's funeral.

"Don't ever tell me thank you for taking care of you, it's my job. You don't have to ask either, just text me. I'll always come when I can or take off work if you need me to fill in on the farm for a few weeks. But I can only help you if you communicate with me. You can't be stubborn when it comes to your health dad, I'm serious. I can't lose you too."

He squeezes my shoulder and I pull my mom into a hug , I can't even fathom how she was feeling , probably like me but x10. He worries us all because he wants to do everything himself.

Me and mom help him walk to the car and help him get in as well.

I drive back to the farm and offer to stay the night but they send me off , knowing I have to work in the morning , I head home.

I text TK

" Hey siri, text Sexiest firefighter in Austin , miss you , had a long day and I wasn't ignoring you if you were wondering. Don't let your thoughts wonder so negatively i'm alright now and will talk to you about it in due time. What time do you go into work tomorrow?"

" Text sent to the Sexiest firefighter in Austin" said Siri and I turned on some music. It's only a 20 minute drive from my parents house to mine , so I won't be driving in the dark alone for too long. I speed up a little and see a deer , pressing on the break hard and veer to the left off of the road, almost running into a tree.

I turn on my high beam lights, switching them off when I see the street light I live on. I park in my driveway a little flustered by the deer , but I try my best to shake it off when I get into the shower. I get out and cut off my speaker , seeing headlights outside my house I think the worst.

I wrap my towel around my waist and run to the window next to the door and discreetly look out just in case some shady shit is going on.

I look out to see a silver 2019 jeep wrangler and relax. TK, it's just TK I thought , it could be my mom saying my dad ripped his stitches or maybe something worse happened.

I shake my head trying to clear the negative thoughts , I turn around to put clothes on , but he's already at the door so I just open it letting him in. Almost like a kid , I hid behind the door and slowly closed it , stalling, turning around. I lined up the shoes beside the door making sure they were straight.

I turn to look at TK and he's smiling , blushing a little. " I brought you something , just a small token , nothing huge" he said, playing with the silver bracelet on his left arm. I smile at his cute habit when he is nervous or anxious. I lead him into the living room and turn to put clothes on.

He sits and makes himself comfortable , he gets up and I look up to him holding his shoes and keys in his hands , I smile a little , he remembered. That's sweet I thought.

I put on some sweats and a grey t-shirt , not planning to go back out tonight except for a call from my parents.

" You didn't respond to my text , everything okay?" I asked him to pull my shirt while sitting beside him.

" For one yes everything is fine, I just came to check up on you . But for two , you didn't have to put a shirt on , it's burning up in here papi."

" That's just you baby, i'm pretty comfortable right now."

" Well it's hard not to get hot looking at you" he said smirking , I roll my eyes and lay down on the couch

" Lay down with me Tyler?" I ask looking up at him.

"I'll let you lay in my lap. Come here " he said reaching his arms out to emphasize his words, I sat up letting him sit down and then laying back down myself.

" How are you doing papi? Long days can be some of the hardest to get through." he said and I nodded my head closing my eyes as he ran his hands through my hair calming me.

" A lot happened, my dad almost died , Michelle came in to save the day though like she always does , I think she's superwomen not whoever that was in the movies." I said looking at TK , he laughed quietly agreeing with me , we both love Michelle.

" I assume your dad is doing better since I'm here?" he said, still playing with my hair.

" I love how protective you are over the people you care about. I know you'll be good with kids-"

I opened my eyes to look at him , his hand in my hair freezing and I know he didn't mean to say the kids parted out loud but he did, too late.

" Of course kids love me, I won't ever be an uncle though. I thought I was but it's for the best that I wasn't. " I said looking out the window on my ceiling where we are laying. TK rubs my chest

" I don't have any siblings, so neither will I. Kids love me but I don't think I'm fit to become a parent. I would want to have my shit together before I even think about kids." he said, playing with my hair again. I looked at him while he looked out the window.

" No one ever has all their stuff together; you'll be waiting forever to become a parent. Live life for the moment not for the future. Live for now and the future will eventually catch up." I said giving him a sad smile

Emily, i'll love you forever, I finally get it and I think I have found my one.

He looked at me nodding while smirking," Well any kid would be lucky for their parents to look as hot as us." he said lifting the mood , like he always does.

"Sure baby, of course they would," I said laughing at his smug expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey guys okay this is about to run overtime but I just wanted to say thank you again for 100+ reads in 5 days!!!
> 
> I love you all deep,
> 
> choose to keep going you got this baby
> 
> -xo, steph.


	11. C/11 Don't hide your pain from me

{ TK POV}

Carlos was quiet after I said we were both hot , he was just gazing out at the stars through the window on his ceiling.

I looked at him, seeing how tired he really was softly touching the bags under his eyes wondering when he last got more than 8 hours of sleep. My poor papi, he was stressed out all day and didn't tell anyone , not even me until it was all over.

Doesn't he know he stresses himself out more by doing that? It's very beneficial to talk through what's happening in your life or what you are dealing with.

I rub his eyebrows just wanting to caress his face any way that I can. I'm still playing with his hair , trying to take his mind off of whatever other bad news he wasn't telling me.

As much as I want to keep the peace , I need to tell him how I feel. I don't want him to feel like he has to bottle up his feelings because I won't be able to handle it or I have my own things going on. I need him to know I will always support him no matter what he is going through and that I will always be here for him.

No.matter.what.

Anything mental health related is important to me.

Shit, anything important to him is important to me too. Anything or anyone. He needs to know he doesn't have to go through things like this alone.

I was once in a horrible mental and physical state as well and all I yearned for was someone to listen without asking questions, so I'll be that for him until he doesn't need me too.

" Papi, you don't have to keep everything inside. I am here for you okay? No matter what. Here for your good days , bad days , neutral days even the horrible ones. I will be here. You want to know why? Because you are my everything ok. I have told you this before , I'm not letting you go. You are stuck with me. In being with me , I am going to take care of you mentally and physically baby. I don't want you to hide your pain. Don't hide your pain from me. Don't hide your pain at all, especially not around me. I won't ever judge you alright. You told me you like mustard and I didn't judge you so why would I start now?" I said trying to lighten the mood at the end , but very much serious about everything I just said. I looked him in his eyes while I was saying it too so he can see how sincere I was.

He gave me a look that made me feel like my heart was breaking in 2 as he spoke his next words

" You sound much like my sister. She would love to meet you, I know she would love you , maybe more than she loves me" he said smiling sadly. I beam at his words , If I sound like her we probably act alike.

"I like her already , I would love to meet her."

He looked at me then looked away again, I knitted my eyebrows together, did I say something wrong ?

" She passed away about a year ago, you won't be able to meet her." I blinked back my tears at his voice. He wasn't over his sister's death , maybe today was the anniversary of her death and that's why he was off? I thought.

I rub his chest , trying to help him get his breathing pattern back to normal. I move my hands back to his face cupping his cheeks and softly rub them like a mini massage. I watch him close his eyes and one lone tear slides down his cheek.

I wiped it quickly not wanting him to put his walls up again. I just want to kiss his pain away. I started playing in his hair again and looked at this beautiful man I get to call mine. Flaws and all I feel like he is my person.

We're we moving too fast? I mean I did just get out of a relationship with Alex the asshole. No Carlos was nothing like Alex and I knew that.

" My dad was hurt today. I got a text from my mom earlier this morning before I dropped you off to get your car. That's why I was off." he said answering my silent question from earlier.

"That's why you pulled out the parking lot without a hug?" I asked and he laughed slightly,

" No my baby, I just had less than 10 minutes to get to work on time and I'm never late." He said and I facepalmed myself seeing how immature I sounded.

He moved my hand and kissed my palm. The action was so tender , not sexual. This man is so strong he keeps everything in order by himself while looking after the ones he cares about. He was like Superman.

" Papi I was just thinking, you're like Superman. But that would make you Michelle's boyfriend and your mine." I said dramatically. He shook his head giving me a small smile.

" I can meet her whenever you're ready. Take me to her head stone. I can tell she means a lot to you. I won't rush you , I know she'll love me regardless" I say smiling down at his peaceful expression. He nods in acknowledgment keeping his eyes closed, my tired papi I thought.

I lean down to kiss him and decide to lay down with him too. He hates cuddling because I'm a wild sleeper and I can never stay in the same position, so I just laid on top of him putting my weight in the upper cushion of the couch. I relaxed back into his couch and watched his breathing even out.

*My beautiful papi, dealing with everything alone. You don't have to, I'm here now , you are my one.* I whispered while he was sleeping.

I thought he heard me because he chest paused when I finished talking but it went back to normal a few seconds later.

I fall asleep watching him, this man, he's breaking the ice around my heart, making me fall in love with him.. it's like he doesn't know how pure his soul is , how addicting he is. His looks draw you in but his personality, his compassion , his kindness and his humility is what makes you want to stay with him.

* afternoon 12:00*

I woke up on Papi's chest, hmmmm I could wake up like this every morning I thought. He starts to move and I shift my weight making sure I'm not in his way if he wants to move his arm, but he just pulls me back putting me in a spooning position forcing him to lay on his side to make room for me on the couch.

I blink up at him turning around to wrap my arms around his neck , pushing our bodies closer. He makes a humming noise waking up slowly , he was always a deep sleeper.

I kissed his neck loving the way he smells. His scent makes me feel safe and at home , like Alex but unlike him I trust my Carlos , I know he would never intentionally hurt me. He makes me think about things differently and that's one of the many things I can appreciate about him.

He tangled his legs with mine and I lifted my arm to run my hands through his hair and my watch lights up, 12:00 pm Shit!

I have to go to work in an hour and I'm not even home yet getting ready. I don't want to wake Carlos up yet, he needs this sleep , he doesn't go into work until 3:00 pm so I'll text dad telling him I'll be coming in 1:30 minutes late.Maybe about 2:30 ish if I'm lucky enough to be on time.

Carlos starts rubbing my back and I put my face back on his neck, closing my eyes for just a few more minutes.

*30 minutes later*

He ends waking up around 12:30 anyways , I could have still been to work on time I think oh well, now I just get more time with him now.

Free time with papi🥰

" Morning baby" he said in his sinfully attractive sleep filled voice.

" Afternoon papi, how did you sleep?" He blinked a couple of times lifting his right arm up looking at his watch, Shit!

" I know I said the same thing , you don't have to go in until 3 today though baby." I said while sitting up straddling his waist while he's still laying down. He smiles at me and pulls me back down to his chest, "I missed your body heat, you keep me warm" he said rubbing my back softly making me want to sleep with him all day. But we both have to get up , I have my toiletries over here , I always keep an extra set in my car and just decided to leave it here at his place since I'm always over here anyways.

" I missed you while I slept baby" he said I looked down at him smiling

" Wow, you weren't dreaming of me?? What if I'm not good looking enough to be in your dreams too?" I asked gasping for effect and he shook his head, rolling his eyes.

" You look a lot better in person. I prefer the real thing versus a virtual reality. Of course you're good looking , in all aspects I might add" he says making me blush I push his shoulder and uncurl my legs to get off of him but he holds me down, I look down at him and curl my legs back underneath me. He is the definition of sex. If not the definition the synonym to sex.

" Don't leave yet, we have time. When do you go into work" he asked, rubbing up and down my legs.

" 1"

" Shit! Why didn't you say anything? Come on you're going to be late I'm sorry I'll apologize to your dad myself, get up we have to get going!" He said sitting up holding my hips trying to push me off of him and I just laugh at him.

" I told my dad I would be an hour and a half late" he looked at me confused .

" I wanted you to sleep, you needed it papi" it's the least I could do, but I kept that part to myself.

" I would have woken up to walk you outside you know that TK" he said looking so incredibly cute and innocent , I gave him a quick kiss on his lips and got up.

" Come on papi, we have to move from this spot , you need to get ready and eat before you go into work today." He yawned, stretching out now that I'm not on top of him anymore and I walked to his bathroom.

I start brushing my teeth , he comes in behind me kissing my neck softly , I give him a look in the mirror and he just laughs at my frustration, per usual. He brushed his teeth , washed his face and shaved all in the time it took me to tame my hair. I don't have any gel so I had to settle for coconut oil instead. I'm not used to using it so that's why it took me longer with it than with my hair gel.

Carlos gets behind me and I look in the mirror to see what he is doing , " If you are about to kiss my neck again don't. I can't handle you this early in the morning." He smirks at me grabbing his moisturizer for his face and I turn tomato red knowing he wasn't going to tease me that time and I just blurted that out like a scared virgin!

" Fuck you Carlos , you knew what you were doing before you did it. You knew I would cave didn't you? " I asked him as he laughed at me in his closet getting dressed.

" I have no idea what you mean baby." He said and I could hear the laugh in his voice. I flicked him off in the bathroom and held it out the door so he could see it. He threw his head back laughing at me, he seems to like doing that. That's fine, I'll show him what's really funny.

I pull my shirt over my head walking into the kitchen looking in the fridge for something sticky , whipped cream or syrup??? Decisions, decisions ....

I decide on the syrup , putting some on my finger just to taste. Sugar free , good I just brushed my teeth.

I walk back into the room putting the syrup at the bottom of the bed on the floor reaching for Carlos who was still in the closet.

"Papi come here, just for a couple of minutes"

" Baby you know I'm getting dressed for work." I look at my watch ,

" Papi pleaseeeee, it's only 1:45 we have time before we both have to leave for work!!"

" TK , I'm serious don't try anything that will make me late"

" Now why shouldn't I do that ? When you make it sound like such a challenge" I said playing with him but his eyes flared , HA got him.

I sit him down on the bed unbuttoning the top of his uniform, he still has his sweats on. I push him back on the bed running my hands along his bare chest, his skin is always warm or maybe I have that effect on him, the same way he has an effect on me. I take his shirt and wrap it around his eyes , blindfold . He turns his head "looking" where he last saw me.

" You can't see papi, you have to use your words to tell me what you're thinking." I said slowly, giving him time to close his eyes or adjust to the darkness behind his shirt. He leaned his head back onto the bed giving me access to his body.

" Do whatever you want as long as I'm not late for work." He said basically green light and left around 2:45 ish so he's not too mad that he might be late. Got it.

I move the syrup from the floor and put it on top of the bed , crawling onto his lap straddling him now. I sat up taking the syrup and turning it upside down making a star on his abdominal muscles making my mouth water at the thought of licking up every inch of said syrup , which is exactly what I planned to do all along. I slide down his body making sure my ass slides slowly down the front of his sweats. I lick the peak of the star first looking at my watch at 2:00 , taking my time I got from each point to the other loving the way his breathing accelerates when I twist my tongue against his abs. I reach for the syrup again when he pulls me by my shoulders to him for a bruising kiss that I feel in my whole body by the time he's done making me not want to stop kissing him.

Just then an alarm goes off. I ignore it ( like usual but he always stops us from being great) Carlos pulls back flipping us over, turning off the 2:30 alarm on his watch, smirking at me. "You really thought I'd let you make me late for work? Silly rabbit."

I can't stand him, I thought , why does he always do that? And by that I mean the right thing , like break a couple of rules every now and then! I kiss him again trying to rally him back up but he grabs my neck tilting my head back and I look up to him knowing I've already lost with how my body was responding to him.

" Come on baby, time for work for both of us. Get dressed so I can walk you to the door my love." He said leaving the room not knowing if I would try to start something with him again and I just smirked as I yelled "CAN'T HANDLE ME IN THE MORNING EITHER I SEE" I said hearing him laughing while making some coffee and I started putting my shirt back on.

" You could have kept it off though" he said looking at me while sipping his coffee

" BYE CARLOS 🙄'' I said frustrated he would try to play with me right now. He's tempted me on his own; he doesn't need any help.

" Awhhh how sweet, your welcome for being an adult" he said back to me. I glared at him and walked out into the hallway to grab my shoes and keys. He followed close behind and hooked his hand in mine while reaching for his keys and I just smiled like a idiot.

Yeah he's my one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey my babies early update time anyone? Should I start updating around this time? Or do y'all prefer night time updates? Let me know , and let me know if it doesn't matter to you as well.
> 
> Choose to stay baby , you got this
> 
> "My Carlos" ahhhhhhhh, I love them.
> 
> But I love you all more
> 
> deeply.
> 
> -xo,steph


	12. C/12 Self sufficient

{ Carlos POV}

I made a quick U-turn on Old Salem road , trying to get to the call as quickly as I could. The suspect has a gun, it's always high risk going into a call that includes guns. I got out of the car with my hand resting on my gun showing the man that I was armed as well. Sometimes that does the trick once they see they are outnumbered but he just laughed the laugh of a maniac. I try to keep my face as blank as possible, not giving how worried I actually was away.

I look at my partner nodding in her direction, I draw my gun and she does the same. I move forward yelling " You are outnumbered, put the weapon down or we will be forced to shoot." I see my partner out the corner of my eye directing some people back , her gun in her holster again. I turn back to the suspect holding my gun firmly in my hands, not wanting to shoot but expecting to anyway. I keep walking slowly towards him as he just stands in the same position as me , gun drawn. He smiles at me as I get closer, my gun was aimed at his chest while his was aimed at my head.

I stopped five feet away from him, lowering my gun to his knee. He follows suit, only lowering his stomach. I try to speak as quietly as I can to him, " listen to me , whatever you did we can help you fix it. There's no need to bring a weapon into this situation, you scared a few people. Is that what you want? To scare people? Does it make you feel in control? Make you feel like you're the king of the world? Bringing weapons into public establishments like this is illegal and you don't even look a month past 17. What do you say you give me the gun and I take you to the hospital to run some tests on your head, yes?" He slowly backs away from me. I didn't know his head was bleeding until I got this close to him, I turned to page my partner." Sandra , do you copy?"

"I'm here" she says like she is out of breath, I furrow my eyebrow wondering why.

"I need Michelle and the team ASAP , he's unstable with a gun." whispering all of this because he's close enough to hear me if I don't. I look back at the boy "I'm 17 as of yesterday , it seems you might be good at your job, at least a little bit." he says, smirking at me. Does he think this is a joke? Like a call of duty video game or something? I just shook my head at him.

" Are you okay? Is there something or someone who compelled you to do this, terrorize other people today?" I asked trying to get him to say the real reason he was out here and not his cool guy facade.

" No friends , 1 family member who disowned me today" he said calmly shrugging his shoulders, I stared at him in confusion. "Why did they disown you?" I asked gently, lowering my gun a little more telling him I wasn't going to shoot. He shrugged "I told my uncle I was gay, I mean I'm 17, I shouldn't be scared of a drunkered who "raised" me. I should have expected what he did, but somehow I thought it was going to be different now that he had stopped drinking, but the argument we had was worse than any of his episodes he threw while he was drunk." he said looking down. He raised his head and gun back up at the same time. "I'm not going to let anyone make me feel bad about who I am. I will never be ashamed of myself but I am ashamed of thinking a homphobic piece of shit would change. Like it would change his whole outlook on gay people because his nephew is one of them. Never again." he said passionately and I felt for him. I didn't come out officially until I was 19. I was on my own by then so I didn't have to worry about half as much as he did when he came out. I nodded my head as he spoke wanting him to feel like someone was in his corner. At this point I'm in no position to argue or disagree with him because he has a loaded weapon in his hands in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot.

"I didn't come out until I was 19 years old. It was still hard then , but I didn't have to go through half of what you did when I came out. I know how hard it is to even find the courage to tell the ones you love believe me. But this is not the way, making others submit to you with a gun is not the way. You have to find the strength within yourself to love yourself and say fuck what everyone else thinks. I still have trouble sometimes with my family accepting me , but I'm not going to force them too. If they love me they will, If they don't I won't blame them I just keep my distance." I tried to connect with him the only way I knew how and it looked like it was working.

*disclaimer , I don't support the fourth of july. It's a mock of InDePeNdEnCe, when there is barely any in the united states today*

"I found this man, he lights my world up, like the fourth of july. He makes me smile, cry, laugh, yell, all of it in one. He is like my other half, and without him sometimes I feel incomplete. Don't you want to live to find your person? Someone who makes you feel how I just described? Why would you want to throw your entire life away because 1 person doesn't accept you? You don't need him, all you need is yourself. Everything to keep you going comes from within. Mind over matter you got this okay? Put the gun down, you don't have to do this." I said gently and he slowly started walking towards me with the gun handle pointed down. I reached for the gun and it slipped out of my grip, falling to the ground. What happened next was a shock to everyone at the scene.

I bend down reaching for the gun thinking the child lock is on , when I hit and 1 single bullet flies right into my left shoulder. I slowly stand back up using my right hand to press down on my left shoulder knowing that much when it comes to bullet wounds. I reach my other hand out to the kid, never getting his name. He quickly takes it stepping over the gun in the process. We head to my car and he gets in the back telling my partner his address. She pulls off taking the kid home, while Michelle helps me get into the back of the EMT truck. I lay down on the gurney and breathe deeply knowing her protecal. I've seen her do this a million times. I look at her removing my bloody right hand and let them wrap it until we get to the hospital. I grab my phone, calling my mom.

"Hey ma, I won't be able to come check on you guys tonight, I got shot in the shoulder but if I can call you then that means I am fine. I will come check on you and dad first thing in the morning in 2 days when I am released from the hospital." I hear her sigh in distress, oh ma I know she worries but dad needs all the help he can get right now. I refuse to let her deal with something else on her own

" You aren't alone anymore, you have me now papi" I hear TK say and I just take a steadying breath trying not to focus on the strong ache and burn coming from my left arm right now. I close my eyes, the dim lights in the truck too much for me to handle at this point. I don't know how much blood I lost but my hand could only compress so much. I had no back up shirts or anything in the car when I got shot so I did the best that I could given my situation.

*10 minutes later*

I look at myself in the hospital gown and scoff. I pick my phone up when I hear it vibrate

Sexiest firefighter in Austin- "What do you want to do tonight? I get off at 12." he wrote and I don't know whether I should tell him that I'm in the hospital or tell him I was out of town seeing my parents? I don't want to worry or stress him out, being a first responder was already stressful enough. I made my decision laying down on the uncomfortable hospital bed. I would wait a day or 2 to tell him what happened. Don't want to trigger anything I don't know about his past. I text back:

" Feeling bad, I just want to stay in for a few days, maybe saturday we can do something when I feel better?" I text back hoping he'll just say ok , not asking any questions. But of course I was wrong, I always when it comes to his reactions. I see Michelle outside my room talking and I stretch my neck to see who it was and sure enough there stood TK Strand with his hands on his hips showing M some text messages on his phone and I plant my face on my pillow.

Damn it , caught.

I don't know why I didn't tell ME not to tell TK , like I told my mom not to tell my dad. Moment of weakness, it must have slipped my mind. I wish the bullet slipped passed me and just nicked my arm instead but no. It had to lodge itself and bring all the people I care about into a frenzy worrying about me. I'll be fine. It comes with the job, I don't know what people expect when I tell them I'm a cop. That I sit around all day eating donuts and sipping coffee while I wait to give someone a speeding ticket? No, cops go through real shit and people need to stop expecting the best for no reason. Being a cop wasn't always pretty , but no first responder job is always pretty. We all have our slip ups and fall downs. Mine was today , making a rookie move by leaning over a gun that just dropped onto the ground . I should have looked for the child lock before I bent down,making it harder for the bullet to hit me. But I didn't and that's alright. I just don't need anyone worrying about me when I am fine. Seriously that is one thing I can't stand. Senseless worrying.

*48 hours later*

I know I should text TK. I haven't seen him since he was outside my room talking to M showing her what I assumed was our text messages where I lied to him. I facepalm myself once again and get up getting dressed. I finally get to get out of this stupid gown. It was itchy and light blue and green really aren't my colors. Well not together anyways. You can rock anything with the right pair of pants.

I grab my jacket and put it on last and turn around heading to the front desk to tell them to tell me that I'm gone. But I see TK waiting outside my door with a pissed off expression on his face. I can't tell if he's mad at me or at something else so we just walk silently to the front desk. I ask them nicely to relay my message and exit the hospital.

"I'll take you home. Your car is still at the station.I can take you to get it in a week or so. That's how long you'll be out. You can't drive so text me or M if you need something, anything." he said sounding like it was rehearsed, maybe it was. I just nod my head still getting the feeling he doesn't really want to talk. He pulls into my house grabbing my key chain with my keys on it swiftly opening my door.

I lean on my right side trying to alleviate some of the pain from my left side transferring my weight while I get out of the car. I reach for the top of the door and slowly pull myself out of the car on my right foot. TK comes beside me putting my arm over his shoulder to take some weight off of me walking me into the house. He leads me to my bedroom helping me lay down , tucking me in turning on the light in the bathroom and closet but keeping my main light off."Thank you TK , for this." I said as he turned on the closet light closing the door almost all the way, to which he just nodded his head. "Is there something wrong? I mean I'm sorry about lying, I just didn't want you to worry for no reason. This all comes with the job." I said trying to shrug but stop when my shoulder starts to ache.

"Ok."

I look at him as he gives me a blank stare as he sits at the end of my bed. I close my eyes leaning my head back on the pillows he arranged for me and sigh quietly. "You can go home, Michelle is coming over in the morning to check on me." He laughed inaudible.. I just kept my head on the pillows waiting for him to leave, if he wanted to act nonchalant then we had nothing to talk about.

" What if what happened to you the other day wasn't just part of the job?" he said looking at me , I see his eyes were glossy, but his lips were pressed together in a tight line. I just sigh. "If it was, I would still be in the hospital dying. But instead i'm at home in my bed." I said with no emotion in my voice. He nodded, swallowing his tears,"I'll be in the living room, text me if you need anything." He said before getting up, I kept my eyes closed but my chest tightened slightly at the thought of him being away from me.

"No, don't stay with me?" I said knowing I don't have the right to even ask him this after lying to him about this whole situation. He sits on the couch opposite of my bed making me frown at his back.

"I don't know what you want me to say Carlos, why lie about something so serious? Yes I may have overreacted when you would have first chance but you didn't even give me that chance. But if you want to be alone I can give you that as well. I won't force anyone to accept my affection or to let me take care of them." he said, turning to look at me, saying the last part.

I don't want to lose him, but if this is how he sees me , someone he has to take care of then maybe it's better we're apart. He finds something better to do with his time and I become more self-sufficient. In the end we would both make each other better by being apart. I take a deep breath and then speak sitting up slowly.

"Maybe we need some time apart? You don't have to take care of me. I've done that just fine for over 26 years. If we end things here , at least we can end them on a good note. I need to become more self-sufficient anyways. I don't want anyone to feel like I need taking care of because I don't. There is nothing anyone can give me that I can't get for myself and I need to start doing that again. Can we still be friends though? I won't be an asshole at that too, I promise." I said trying to laugh at the last part. TK needs someone who knows how to accept affection and who would appreciate being cared for and I do but not as much as I should. I don't want to lose him as a friend though, I don't want to play with his heart either. So being friends was the best option for us right now.

"Okay, can I go into the living room now?" he asked quietly and I closed my eyes.

"You can go home TK, Michelle will be here in-

"I'm staying , so if you no longer need me can I go in the living room now?" he looked at me and I nodded not wanting to talk anymore. I lay back slowly and he comes to my side helping me, softly holding my shoulder with his hand in the middle of my back guiding me down onto the pillows. "Thank you" he nods and leaves the room leaving the door open. My phone vibrates and I reach for it.

"Text me if you need anything Carlos. No exceptions." -TK

I read the text then call my mom. She picks up on the last ring.."Hey mijo, how are you doing?" The sleep evident in her voice immediately made me feel bad for waking her up. "Mama , sorry for waking you up, I just wanted to call in to check on you and dad. How is he healing?" I hear papi in the background playing jazz music on the record player.

"He's doing great , almost like he never got hurt!" good I thought , at least someone was going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright Emily. I wasn't going to let him die, I promised you.

I laugh weakly at the excitement in her voice " Great ma, i'll let you go back to sleep , tell him I love him and to keep healing for me?" I said not bringing up TK like I wanted too. I just don't want to taint her happy mood. I'll be alright I thought, we're friends this way I can't hurt him but I can look out for him and keep him in my life as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babies , how was your day? How was this chapter let me know.
> 
> Find a reason to keep going, I love you and there is also so much love left out their for you too as well.
> 
> I might do another chapter tonight, I don't know for sure.
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> -xo,steph


	13. C/12 Healing sucks

{TK POV}

"wE cOuLd Be FrIeNdS tHoUgH."

I got up when I saw him struggling to lay back down. It hurts me to see him in pain , I help him putting my hand on his shoulder softly putting my other hand in the middle of his back helping to guide him onto the pillows. I hold on a little longer than I should knowing this might be the last time I am able to touch him like this. I pull away once I realize what I'm doing and walk down the hall to his living room and sit down. I forgot to tell him to text me damn it.

"Text me if you need anything papi. I mean it" I re-read the message and changed papi to Carlos instead.

I rub my head waiting for his response, I realize I won't get one when I hear him on the phone with his mom. I lay down on the couch, I wanted to stay over until tomorrow afternoon before I have to go to work but I don't think he wants me here that long.I go to the door to take my shoes off , but keep my keys in my pocket knowing I won't be staying long this time.

*2 hours later , now 12:00 am Friday*

I hear soft snoring coming from Carlos's room and I walk in to check on him , change his sleeping position if I need to. I walk into his room and he's curled up in the middle of his bed with one pillow and his cover. Laying on his back, he has little to no pressure on his shoulder and I turn around to take a walk outside. I stand in his doorway for a second or two just in case he wakes up suddenly and I don't need to go. He doesn't move and I walk quietly to the door grabbing his keys from the bowl beside the door. I lock up behind myself and walk up to my car in the middle of his driveway.

I feel the urge to get a fix , but I won't do that to myself. I've been almost 5 months and I won't let my emotions almost kill me. Not again at least.

I pull my jogging shoes out of my trunk and put them on, I start jogging lightly testing how it feels to run in his backyard. This house is very spacious and it comes with 1 acre of land as well. When I first came over , I thought he wanted to live here to start a farm one day, but he just laughed quietly and told me no.

Simpler times I thought.

I look around for his workout house remembering the time I saw him working out in there, his tanned beautiful body sweaty and glistening under the moonlight.He believes in conserving energy, so his house is mostly power by solar panels, I admire his persistence and willingness to preserve the earth a much as he could. I walked back to his workout house and opened the black marble door. I go straight to the weights, lifting until my lower arms burn. I move next to the tire in the corner flipping it across the room until I'm dizzy. I sit down for a few minutes catching my breath before going to the punching bag. Before I know it, I've been in the workout house for three hours. Shit.

I didn't realize how long I was in there , I turned off all the lights and locked up behind myself rushing into the house. Still being as quiet as I can , I come into the house, taking my shoes off and putting his keys back in the bowl beside the door. I walk towards his room, but I see him sitting in the dark in the living room. I turn the light on , looking at him as he slowly opens his eyes confused on how the lights got cut on. I open my mouth to speak but close it when he gets up from the chair without saying anything and goes back to his bedroom. That was weird, something flashed in his eyes, but I could never catch it long enough to realize what it is. I make my way into his room, he's in the bathroom so I just stand in the doorway not wanting to sit on anything since I'm sweaty from working out. I need to know where his guest bathroom is so I can shower before I head off to my house. Maybe I should just head out after this and shower at my house, he doesn't want me here right now. I won't force my presence on him.

He comes out of the bathroom looking at me with questioning eyes and I give him the same look. "Hey, why were you sleeping in the living room? When I left you were in bed knocked out cold." I asked, trying not to sound too questioning , I mean this is his house, he can sleep wherever he wants to. He smiles , " Yeah I was, but I went into the kitchen to get water and saw you weren't there , I thought you left so I was going back to my room to sleep when the camera went off in my workout house and I knew you just went to clear your head. Are you okay?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned and I stood there shocked he was thinking about me at all after what he said earlier.

{Flashback}

*" What if what happened to you the other day wasn't just part of the job?" I asked worried at how nonchalant he was about his life.

"If it was, I would still be in the hospital dying. But instead I'm at home in my bed.''He said it was so emotionlessly , it reminded me of Alex and I shut down refusing to see him in this state.*

I shrug , "I'm good, just needed to clear my mind like you said. Do you need any medicine before I go? Anything?" I asked calmly not wanting to blow my top on him. He has a hole in his shoulder for fuck's sake. Maybe I'm bogus for being upset at him for ending things, but he thinks that he has to do everything for himself and I was here for him through whatever he was going through. And he just ended it all in one breath like it was nothing. Like we were nothing, so yes I had every right to be upset at him. I would never deny him anything that he needed though, and I'll come back over just to check in after my shift is over and not stay the night. I can't get comfortable coming over here anymore.

He shook his head, "Drive safe." and that was all as he turned around for his bedroom. I followed behind him, while he got in the bed I went to the bathroom to get my toiletries. Won't be needing these over here anymore I thought.

Carlos turned the opposite way, watching his 90 day fiance, reminding me of the first time we kissed and I grabbed onto the counter. Who am I kidding? I can only be so strong. His breaking point was way farther out than mine. I could break down at any minute while he seemed fine. This was like a repeat of Alex. I thought he was my one just a few days ago.

Life has a crazy way of humbling you , right when you think you have it all. I give myself a second for my head to stop spinning and then I continue to collect my belongings off of his granite charcoal theme bathroom counter. He had a beautiful home, I thought one day we would have one together. I have to get out of here, I grab my hand cream and look in the mirror before putting my things in my bag off to the side of the counter. I'm not strong enough yet to take them out yet, the early stages of healing are very messy, I should have known.

I cut the light off to Carlos turning towards me, I rush to the bed "Stop moving so much, it makes me nervous. I get anxiety every time I see you move without any help. Your arm needs to heal, let people take care of you just for a few more days okay?" he looked at me in a daze , I waved my hands in his face and he gave me a sad smile , "Okay" was all he said I nodded helping him lay back down, not touching him as much as last time. I have to slowly break that habit of just touching him whenever I want too.

So many changes in such a short time. Sometimes change is good, but I know this time unlike Alex , it wasn't going to be.

*8 hours into TK's shift*

We're on the way back from an accident and my phone vibrates , I ignore it and am not really in the mood to talk to anyone. I haven't told anyone that me and Carlos broke up yet , hell I still need to process it myself. Once I realize mentally it's over that's when I'll tell dad , and I'll tell the team whenever someone asks.

I then hear the signature apple ringtone looking around the truck , everyone checks their phones , I don't bother knowing it's not me,

I look down at my phone lighting up in my pocket, I roll my eyes and pull it out. I see Carlos's old name in my phone "Papi Carlos" I need to change that ASAP, I answer the phone call though.

"Hey , you alright?"

"Hello, um I don't know who this is but Michelle isn't answering and you were the next number in Carlos's call log" I furrow my eyebrows , if they need Michelle then that means he's hurt somehow.

"Yes , I'm TK Strand, why do you need Michelle?" I ask getting looks from my teammates which I just wave my hand trying to play it off as nothing.

"It's Carlos, I think he tore something in his arm. Maybe the stitches or an artery. He was lifting weights on his good arm earlier and when he came back in to take a shower he slipped and fell on his arm. There is a lot of blood but he says he's okay. He keeps telling me to calm down but he has a lot of blood around him right now. His dad was in this same position less than two weeks ago, and I don't know what to do. He doesn't want to go to the hospital because me and my husband don't have papers here. He doesn't want us to not be able to see him, so he's just been telling me to call Michelle and if she doesn't answer after three times , call TK. Is this you TK?" she asked in a rush I was struggling to keep up with what she was saying but it all started making sense now. She was his mother, she came to check on him because Michelle was busy and he fell on his arm , causing maybe one of his stitches to rip or a vein most likely and he's not on any antibiotics , so he's very weak right now. Why would he even try to work out while he's hurt? He never listens.

"Yes ma'am I'm TK. I will be there as fast as I can be. I will keep everything off of the record trust me. I will try to be there in less than 5 minutes. Please stay calm like Carlos is telling you too. Go into his closet and grab the black nike jacket in the corner by the stool stepper and press that against his arm to help stop the blood. Again stay calm I will be there soon."

"Thank you so much" she said, sounding like she was about to cry , I nodded my head. Damn she can't see me I thought right after I hung up.

"Dad I need a favor." I said putting on my headphones he nods his head telling me he's listening. "Carlos broke one of the veins in his arm because he fell but this can't go on the record that I helped him because his parents don't have papers to be here , just him." he looked at me and then nodded saying I could help him off of the record. I send a silent thank you to him focusing on remembering his address.

"Take this next left and pull into 3624 Ravens rd." I told the driver to take my headphones off. He nods and pulls into Carlos's driveway, I hop out the back of the truck carrying in the little amount of supplies we have for stitches and things like that heading to his bedroom. I see his mom sitting beside him talking , even from a side view she was gorgeous. I could see why Carlos was so attractive. I open my mouth to speak , when I see my black Nike jacket on the counter. I looked down to see what he was using instead and he was using one of his grey tee-shirts. I melt a little at his consideration, but jump into action.

"I'm TK , hate we have to meet like this. This is our friend Paul, he's with me to help Carlos as well. We are going to need you to come out of the bathroom so that we have space to work." she nods her head quickly getting up. Huh, and she listens , I like her. Not that I would ever meet her again, since we're not together anymore. I shift the supplies on the floor next to him.

"What the hell Carlos. I leave for a couple hours and you're already hurt! If you missed me you could have just said that." I joked , he rolled his eyes trying to smile at me.

"You lost a lot of blood dude? Why not call sooner? You know we would have stepped in and helped as soon as we knew" Paul said taking the silent words right out of my mouth.

"I didn't think it was a big deal , until I started getting dizzy and couldn't stand anymore. I called Michelle but I think she has a family emergency."

"You are family" Oh shit, I wasn't supposed to say that outloud. I focus on wiping his arm with alcohol and not on what I just said. Paul gets the memo that I don't want to talk about it and changes the conversation.

"How's the kid you helped? You know why he did what he did?"

"Yeah, came out to his uncle. The assho-"

"MIJO" I looked at his mom glaring at him and I smirked , she would have been the best in-law ever. I need to stop fantasizing about the past and stay in the present.

"Sorry mama, the douchebag didn't accept him. He was the only family that the boy had so when he didn't accept him , he felt like he had no one. He wanted to feel powerful and not helpless. He just wanted someone to listen." he said sadly, Me and Paul nodded our heads knowing what he meant. With me and Carlos being gay and Paul being transgender we understood all to well the feeling of your family rejecting you.

"He's a brave boy, but he had an even braver hero." Paul said, making me glassy eyed for a second because he was right. I know Carlos could see himself in that kid and he could have lost his life with the way he handled him, but he didn't.

"I always knew you weren't meant to work on the farm mijo. You always wanted to help people and I'm very proud of you. I know me and your dad don't say it often but we are." his mom said from the doorway. Once again I blink away my tears now not being the time. He winks at his mom which makes her smile , it must be an inside joke.

I finish patching up his shoulder and rub it twice before letting go. Why do I feel like I lose him a little bit more everytime I touch him? It's hard to not show my feelings for him with him around, but I had to at least try.

Me and Paul slowly lift him up , and help him walk to his bed. " You know the rules about stitches. Don't play stupid. And don't do anything else stupid. Please." I say the last part so only he can hear it. He runs his hands through my hair as I look at him. "I won't , I promise this time." he said, moving his hands out of my hair.

"I miss you. Why don't you love me like I love you" I thought, I would never say it though. I would let him stand on his decision, he seems to be doing a good job right now.

Paul POV:

I see the way they look at each other and I want that, but only with my person. Not just with some stranger. I wanted all the cliche aspects of love but for someone like me , that's unrealistic. Almost unheard of. TK says something only Carlos can hear , and I look at Carlos as his eyes soften at whatever he says. They stare at each other for a few seconds before he responds quietly running his hands through TK's hair, TK calms down slowly as he looks at Carlos. Carlos breaks the moment , looking at his mom who just raises her eyebrow at him. "Oh this is going to be good I thought." I lean against the door frame ready for the conversation when the captain beeps the horn saying we have another call 10 minutes out from here. TK looks at Carlos , giving him a hug on his good shoulder then we both haul ass to the truck. Expecting the unexpected like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babies, I love this chapter and I love Tarlos, but I just don't want this book to be the average Fanfiction SOOOOO,
> 
> This book is offcially 1 week old my baby is growing up so fast. I love this book so much and I love you guys even more.
> 
> In a week, we got over 170+ reads , thank you all so much.
> 
> Find a reason to stay here , you got this baby.
> 
> #stopsuicide.
> 
> I love you all so deep ,thank you again for taking this journey with me.
> 
> -xo,steph


	14. C/13 Confessions

{Carlos POV}

I look at ma and shake my head, she's never seen me that way with anyone but Em. I want to tell her about me and TK, but there is no me and TK to tell her about anymore. I screwed that up, but I don't want to make him feel like he's just an option to me when he's so much more. He's on the same level as my family. Which is scary to me. I have only loved one person as much as my family before. And he almost broke me. Maybe that's the real reason I ended things with him, I just don't feel like being broken again.

She shakes her head "Mama knows best, you don't have to talk now. But we will talk eventually. I'm here all week mijo. Get some sleep, I'll be in the guest room." she said before closing the door halfway and leaving.

I close my eyes, I have to tell TK my parents don't have papers , what am I going to do if they ask where they were? I reach for my phone slowly so I don't tear my fresh stitches. I finally make it over to the bedside stand and grab my phone. I text Paul, still not ready to talk to TK about everything yet.

"Paul?"

"Yeah you good? Do I need to stop by to help you? Damn man, how do you keep hurting yourself more. You're going to kill TK one of these days, and I thought he was the trouble maker out of you two."

I freeze at the mention of TK but snap out of it. "Let's not talk about TK right now? A lot is going on, and I need your help." I said and he stayed silent telling me to keep going.

"My mom and dad don't have papers. What am I going to do about the stop you and TK made here? What am I going to tell them if they hear my mom on the phone with TK? They're going to be packing and losing everything in a day." I say worriedly. I trusted TK , I know he would never rat my parents out to ICE or anyone to ICE. He's compassionate like that, maybe that's why we work? Or worked at least.

"Don't worry about the call, we already have an alibi handled. TK worked everything out with the captain before we even got there. Y'all okay man? He's been a little off for a day or two now."

"We have been on better terms,I don't want to tell you anything he hasn't already. He'll speak to everyone when he's ready. I'd just give him his space for a few days. Can you give the captain my number too? I need to thank him, nevermind when is he usually in his office? I'll come and see him in person in a few days."

"Okay, he's usually in there around 3:-" then I hear the siren go off and know he has to go ,

"Text me, be safe Paul , all of you" I say before hanging up. I put my phone on the bedside table again and slept on my back because of my shoulder obviously. I turn off devious maids and go to sleep.

{A/N:Devious maids used to be the show, nostalgia.}*

I woke up to my mom's Spanish playlist. It's 11 AM and she's probably making eggs and grits with toast without the crust. I should know, she makes the same thing for breakfast when me and Em were in school right before she would drop us off. She made us eat a majority of it, even if it made us late. I appreciate it now, because I always eat breakfast it is the most important meal of the day.

I get up slowly trying not to use the left side of my body for anything these days. They are all starting to blend together. I have never been out of work this long, so it was hard for me. I just have to be active or I don't know what to do with myself. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and wash my face all with one hand. People do this everyday Carlos, there could have been something worse to happen to you that day. The bullet could have hit a cluster of nerves and left you paralyzed on your left side forever, but it didn't so suck it up and deal with it. You only have 3 more days until you're cleared for physical therapy and patrol duty AKA back to work and something to do.

I put on black sweats and a grey shirt. I saw TK's jacket on the counter in the bathroom and thought back to last night. When my mom brought his jacket into the bathroom , I freaked out. She told me that was what he told her to use and I sent her back into my closet to grab one of my tee-shirts. No way was I going to mess up his jacket, was he crazy? My crazy baby.

I miss him and it's only been two days. I don't really know what was going on with me that night , but I remember the blank look that crossed his face when I said we could be friends, then he looked at me in disbelief before covering it up with another blank face like he was blocking me off from seeing his emotions. I didn't like seeing him like that. He looked cold-hearted and it hurt knowing I was the one who caused him to look that way,so I took the coward route out. I leaned back, closing my eyes knowing he would come over and help me. I wanted his touch, his familiar scent; it always calms me.

I want him , because he calms me.

I walk into the kitchen sitting down at my island slowly eating my food. Ma made more than usual , but there was no way I was going to be able to eat even half of what she made. She went into my room to get a towel for her shower and I nodded my head. She came back out smiling,

"I know you won't be able to eat all of it mijo, but i've been here for almost two days and I haven't seen you eat anything. I just wanted to make sure that you ate. You will be back to work in no time. Put the rest under the warmer, I'm in the shower don't hurt yourself, okay? I won't be long."

"I'll be fine out here ma, take as long as you need."

I stand up getting up to do what she asked. I walked back into my room afterwards looking for my phone for a text from Paul. I was going to see the captain on Saturday to personally thank him for letting TK and Paul help me out. I don't know what I'm going to say really but, it will be from the heart whatever I do say.

I sit in bed reaching for the remote to my TV when I hear the doorbell ring. I looked out to see if Ma was going to get it , but I remembered she was in the shower and got up quickly to greet whoever was there.

I got to the door a couple minutes later because I was being cautious of my shoulder like TK said. I was trying to do right by him , even though he doesn't want anything to do with me right now. Or ever, you never know. I open the door , to see TK with his hand on the door frame texting me on his phone. He looks up , relieved that it was me who opened the door.

"Hey wassup?" I was confused as to why he was here. I didn't text him and mom called him yesterday but that was the only contact she's had with him. I don't remember them exchanging numbers.

"Your mom texted me, asked me to watch you while she goes to check on your dad this afternoon. I'm just here early in case you need something before she leaves." he said shrugging I nod my head while mentally slapping myself. So much for getting him back right? Yep, we were over.

I walk into my room turning around when I didn't hear his footsteps behind me and I see him putting his keys in the bowl and taking his shoes off. Sweet , he's not an asshole even after I was multiple times to him.

He comes into my room laying on the couch looking at the TV, I pass him the remote tired of watching my shows, I need a change "You pick something, I need better things to watch." he nods taking the remote from me and puts on All American on netflix.

*If you don't know about all american on Netflix, Watch it don't say I never gave you anything *

I look at curious to how he found out about this show, so I ask

"How do you know about this show, this seems out of your range of things you watch." he laughs a little and blushes too. I raise my eyebrow at his blush, what is he hiding,

"My friend watches things like these. He showed me a couple shows on here, I never used my netflix before him honestly." he said shrugging nonchalantly like he didn't just make me jealous of a person I don't even know.

I nod and watch the show as he puts the pilot episode and by the end of it , I was hooked onto the shower. My favorite character was Spencer , he reminded me of my cousin. Angry at the world, but only that way because he wears his heart on his sleeve and uses the hot head look as armor from people trying to break his heart. And since it's so easy to reach, the more armor you have to build around yourself.

I let it auto load into the second episode and if I thought the first episode was filled with tea???? The second episode was the whole teapot and some. I just wanted to keep watching it. I might binge watch the show when TK leaves. Do I want to watch this without him though? His reactions were one of the reasons I loved the show even more. It was so good, he came to the bed to lay down with me and watch it in the same place.

I reached behind me to give him a pillow but he told me to keep it and that I needed it more than he does. I still reach behind me and give it to him to which he objects and bends forward putting it under my yellow sock covered feet.

My little cousin made me these socks when he was around 7 or 8 and I never wore them so I thought what better time than the one time I have nothing to do. They were very comfortable. I can give him that.

TK looked at my socks and I wiggled my toes , trying to be an asshole so he couldn't read the words on them. He hit my thigh and I laughed

"Asshole." he said under his breath but I heard him, only making me laugh harder because that was the goal all along.

I put my hand on his back and rubbed softly. He jumped at the action and I put my hand at my side. I reach for the remote and stop the auto load for the third episode.

"Why are you jumping when I touch you?" I ask bluntly , getting a bad feeling in my stomach. This is reminding me too much of Em. She acted the same way when he started beating on her.

"I didn't jump." he said quietly.

"TK yes you did. But why?" I asked, matching the tone of his voice. He shakes his head and I'm not going to take that this time. Any other time I would because he wasn't ready but when it comes to his safety , all of that "give me time" stuff is out of the window. He could die at the hands of some asshole who just couldn't stop hitting him.

"Ok I'll give you 15 seconds to start talking."

"You're Not my dad I don't have to tell you anything. Stop acting like the concerned boyfri- friend when you have barely said ten words to me this whole week Carlos." he said snapping at me and I was shocked to say the least. Why would he tell me now how he feels when his life could be in danger.

"I'm not going to lose you too some asshole beating your ass. WHY in the fuck did you flinch away from my touch?" I asked stressing the why biting my tongue from cursing again.

"It's really nothing. I don't need you worrying about me I can worry about myself." he said looking at me throwing my words back in my face.

"Don't. Stop playing with me Tyler. So help me god I won't be responsible for what I do to him once I find out who he is." I said, throwing my legs off the bed to get up when he hugs me from behind. I tended not to expect him to do that.

"Don't hurt yourself anymore than you already are hurting. You know that I would get my ass handed to me by my dad and my team if I let anyone beat on me. I'm not necessarily scared of you I'm scared of my past and how that might taint our relationship. If we even have one."

he said moving back to sitting on the other side of the bed like before. I breath in and out slowly trying to slow my heart rate. He doesn't know how close to home that hit seeing him flinch away from my touch. I've never raised my voice at him before but I was about to get even louder if I didn't get any type of explanation.

"What happened Tyler." I said gently this time trying to take another approach.

He sighed deeply before speaking "I used to date this guy in New York. He's actually the reason me and my dad moved. We dated for 5+ years and I wanted to get married. At first , he was nice but something changed in him over time and I don't really know. One day he would be sweet the next he would punch me if I looked at him to long or if I didn't want to have sex, he would accuse me of cheating on him. When that was what he was doing to me the whole time anyways. And even after all of the mental and physical abuse he caused to me, I was still willing to spend the rest of my life with him. You want to know why? Because I'm weak and he knew that, he made me think that no one else would want me and I believed him. The night that I proposed, he told me he had been cheating on me with his cycle instructor for 4 months. Then you came along and thawed my frozen heart just to rip it out of my chest once it started pumping blood normally again. Why Carlos? Why put me in this beautiful light just to take it away? I trusted you not to hurt me and you did anyway. It's like I can't ever win. So I'm done trying to win, i'm just surviving life at this point." he said wiping his face catching the tears that fell when he was talking.

" I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was just trying to protect you. I didn't want you feeling like you had to take care of me. I honestly don't know where my mind was that night. It's like I was on auto-pilot and decided to fuck up my life in the process. I don't want to lose you Tyler Kennedy. Your ex is a bitch, what's his last name?" I asked, trying to sound calm but my voice gave me away after I called him a bitch. Truest words I've ever spoken. He looks at me with his glassy eyes frowning. I look at him , giving him a no nonsense look , because he's not getting away with this.

"Please Carlos don't. I haven't told anyone except you. My dad doesn't even know that he has hit me at all. I'm not ready to tell anyone yet."

"Then don't tell anyone , but I just want to talk to him. We should go together. You'll get closure and I'll get to meet him and speak with him." I said wiping his beautiful face.

"I don't know if I have the strength to face him after the last time we talked honestly , what if he hits me and you're not there to stop him?" he said quickly.

"Now, why would I leave you alone with him at all? I promise you Tyler, on my life he isn't going to lay another finger on your beautiful skin. Not as long as I live. You have to trust me if we do this though. I will protect you no matter what. If you need time to think about it let me know, but I am going with or without you." I said calmly but feeling the opposite inside. I can't let him see me lose control. No one has seen me like that, I usually take all of my anger out on the punching bag in my workout house. I can't do that since i'm injured. I start shaking at the thought of not being able to release all of my anger , nervous of what I'll do when it all becomes too much for me to handle.

"Tyler stay the night." I say with my hand on his cheek running my thumb over his soft skin. I want to kiss him so bad right now, I don't know what to do with myself. A flashback from the first time we kissed hits me and I lean in thinking fuck it.

"Carlos..." he says as he sees me leaning in to kiss his delectable lips. He moves towards me and I wrap my arm around his neck pulling him into me. I haven't kissed him in almost three days. I miss him.

I lay him down on the bed , he wraps his legs around my waist and I lean down to kiss him again. He pulls away and I realize what I just did. Hovering over him I wait until he catches his breath before asking him anything.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to take advantage of you while you were vulnerable emotionally and physically. I'm not that type of man. I'm sorry if I took it too far, I'm just not used to not kissing you for three days. I missed you obviously" I say rubbing my nose along his neck, just a feather-light touch. I don't want him to leave me.

"Kiss me Carlos." was all he said and I nodded.

I worked my way from the base of his neck leaving wet open mouthed kisses along his soft skin. I kissed along his jaw slowly torturing him. Showing him how I felt not being able to kiss in for three days. He moaned when I kissed behind the back of his ear, that and the top of his throat were his most sensitive spots. He loved getting kisses there.

I finally kiss his lips pecking them , but he pulls my entire body on top of him and kisses me back. His taste exploded in my mouth , the taste of citrus fruit and fruit chapstick. He pulls away breathing heavily.

"Your arm oh my god. I'm so sorry. Hold on" I grunt kissing his neck trying to bring his lips back to mine. But he won't budge so I lean up to look at him.

"I'm fine, and so is my arm here." he looked at me coming towards me sitting on my lap.

"Lean up" he said and I comply, leaning up , he takes my shirt off looking at my stitches.

"Damn."

"What?"

"You look good in anything. Especially nothing." he said softly rubbing the stitches underneath the bandage that he wrapped himself. I watch him watch me when his eyes widen a little bit. I follow his eyes and see the tattoo I got for Emily. I unbutton the top button of his jeans. Running my hand from the band of his boxers to his flat stomach to the top of his toned chest.

I wish he could stay here with me all day. Together or not I don't know what we are right now. I just know that I care deeply about him and nothing is going to change that.

I unbutton his shirt from top to bottom then the cuffs on his sleeves. I let him decide whether he wanted to take it all the way off or not. It didn't matter to me. I just wanted to feel his skin and look at him under the dim lights in my room.

He leans down placing his hands on both sides of my head caging me in. He shifts laying on top of me but not putting any weight on my right arm at all. He kisses me slowly and I feel like I'm melting underneath him. I wrap my arm around his waist needing to feel his skin on me more. I roll my hips beneath him grabbing at the bottom of his shirt. It's getting in my way , now I want it off.

I try to move my other arm to help, but he has his arm underneath it caging my arm between our bodies making it immobile. I lean my head back breaking away from his tempting kiss me lips. I grab his neck playing with the hairs at the back of his head. He leans his head into my hand and I pull him down into another kiss letting him go afterwards.

I lay him on my chest with my arm wrapped around his waist securely before I start feeling drowsy. Ma must have put something in my protein shake, I knew her knowing how to make it right was a red flag. Dad doesn't believe in replacement meal shakes. I try to fight the drowsiness to spend more time with TK but it takes over eventually.

I had the worst dream of my life that day. I wake up to check if TK is okay and not hurt, he lay still on top of me looking delicious, unharmed and without bruises lord knows what would happen if he went into the station with bruises on him. I would have a chopped liver and many other chopped body parts as well.

I kiss the top of his head like he does when I wake up out of my dreams sometimes waking him too. This time was different. When he woke up, I would tell him how I feel about him and where I think we stood. He can tell me where he thinks we stand and I'm sure we'll compromise. Unless he doesn't want to be with me relationship wise and friendship wise I would just have to let him go.

I turn on my side spooning his naked warm chest. I kick the cover up to my hand since I can't move with TK on top of me not wanting to wake him and have to tell him about my dream. I get the cover putting it on top of the both of us ,as TK shifts closer to me I just wrap my arm tighter around his hips , helping me know he's okay and here with me where I can protect him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: This chapter was fun to write , how are you all doing? This chapter was fun for me to write!
> 
> I am going on a road trip starting Sunday so the uploads might not be everyday but I will try my best to write as much as I can and then just upload them one at a time each day so you guys are having chapters to read while I travel I hate to leave you all hanging!!!
> 
> Find a reason to stay here , keep going you got this baby
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> -xo, steph


	15. C/14 Back to normal

*7 hours later*

TK POV:

I wake up feeling Carlos's arm wrapped tightly around my hips and I yawn into his chest. He's like my own personal teddy bear. I move closer to him when I feel his bandage rip and I quickly pull the cover back to see the damage I had done. It ripped in the middle right where the stitches were still healing and he had physical therapy in 2 days.

Think think think.

His bathroom, but he still has his arm wrapped tightly around my hips so I whisper in his ear to wake him up without hurting his arm by moving him.  
"Baby, Carlos I have to get up, your bandage ripped and I need to fix it before your stitches get infected. You okay with me moving this arm?" He nodded his head , eyes still closed, he was a very deep sleeper , I don't know why I was expecting a verbal response. I move his arm slowly and put it over his eyes like he does when I used to turn the light on "too early".

I go into the bathroom to get his first aid-kit and come back out sitting on his lap since he's laying on his back to give me better access to the bandage on his arm. I make quick work of taking off his old bandage. I need to put his new one on fast because if the stitches get infected it throws his healing process off its axis. I open the new bandage wrapper and quickly put alcohol on his stitches before pressing the new bandage on softly but firmly at the same time.

I move his hand and smile at him. My handsome teddy bear. I lean down to give him and kiss and stop mid air looking at his mom in the doorway of his room. I know this looks horrible but she just turns around and walks back out without saying anything. "Who was that ?" he said, smirking and I burned red.

"Carlos what the hell , I didn't know she was here. I have my jeans unbuttoned sitting on top of you without a shirt on. And you don't have a shirt on either. Oh my god, I have bed hair. Why would you let me meet her looking like this? When she walked in she walked back out not making a face at all!! What does that even mean??? Is your whole family secret keepers? Like you?" I said this might be a little too much for him to answer all at once in the morning knowing he's not a morning person makes me not get my hopes up for a full answer.

But when I get one I am surprised and I smile at him while he looks up at me like I am the sun and the star's birth child. I blushed under his intense gaze, I know exactly how he felt. I leaned down to kiss him before he started to speak. Just to do something intimate for him.

I rub my hands up and down his chest while he speaks

"She doesn't care. She didn't even go check on dad yesterday. My dad is healing fine and started doing small tasks on the farm at the beginning of this week. I didn't realize what she was doing until you were sleeping and I went to the kitchen and the food on the warmer was gone. She took it to my dad so he could have it as soon as you got here. She saw how I was looking at you yesterday and knew. I wasn't ready to talk about it and she said okay but asked to get a towel out my bathroom. When she did , that's probably when she texted you and you showed up to my complete surprise. I fell asleep on you yesterday because Ma put the sleep medicine from the doctor in my protein shake." he said looking at me and I nod amazed that he said that much before brushing his teeth.

I get off of his lap and lay down on his bed. He sits up pulling on the top of my jeans exposing the band of my underwear. I look at him as he licks his lips looking at me and I smirk. "I should be an underwear model I know, I have the body for it and everything." I said and watched his grip tighten on my hip. "Your body is mine, why would you want it in a magazine?" he said in his deep ass sleep filled morning voice and I get hot all over.

"Huh?" I ask not remembering what he said just how he said it. "Magazine, I don't want other people to look at you and wish they had you because you are mine." he said slowly so that my foggy mind could understand and I nod my head.  
"I was just joking Carlos, I only want to be yours, Papi" his eyes flare at the nickname , I haven't said it to him in a few days."The look you're giving me is making me wish your mom wasn't here" I said honestly.  
"Same" was all he said before going into the bathroom to get ready for the day. I lay on his bed inhaling his scent when he came out of the bathroom catching me rolling around in his blanket and smelling his sheets.

"They smell good, I can't help it.I like having your scent on me when I go outside. It keeps people away from me.." I said, still smelling the pillows that he has been laying on. I take off the covers from around my feet wondering how they got there again if he just moved it earlier. He laughs at me enjoying my confusion.

"You are so cute.If only my mom wasn't here.Oh well." he said shrugging his shoulders

"Carlos don't tease me I'm off work today so we can spend all day together and give your mom a break." I am trying to get him all to myself for the first time this week. He catches on and texts his mom, I head into the bathroom not wanting her to see me like she did earlier. She comes in the room and they talk then she turns to leave.

"Use protection mijo!" then we hear the door close, I laugh at her assumption even though it wasn't very far off. I need it. I need him inside of me , but I'm scared I'm going to do something to further damage his arm. So I just need to be patient for both of our sakes and his moms. God forbid she can't see him if he goes to a hospital because they don't have their needed documents. I need to talk to him about that too.

I look in the mirror seeing him open the door for her, before he walks her to the car. I love the way he loves his family. It makes me trust him around the one's I love because we both love the same.

We both put others' needs before our own, loving the way that we do. We both need to learn to take some time for ourselves as well, and when we do, we shouldn't feel guilty about it. We should just enjoy the time that we created to relax.

I do my morning routine waiting for him to come back into the house but he never does. I look out the bathroom to see the front door still cracked. I walk out making sure I'm presentable when I face his mom this time. I look out the window beside the door discreetly seeing him leaning in her window talking. She was laughing while he was blushing. Probably something about this morning. Now is better than never I thought as I walked towards her car.

"Hi Mrs.Reyes" I smile brightly while Carlos just laughs. She pushes him out the window and gets out to give me a hug. " Hi TK, how are you doing?" I turn looking at Carlos who is still smiling. I respond quickly "I'm doing better knowing that your son isn't hurting himself." she giggles nodding her head in agreement with me. I know she cares about him just as he does her ,maybe even more. You can never underestimate a mother's love.

At one point I knew what that felt like, but I was wrong. She never loved me and I knew it. I go back to this moment though, because I know this is important to Carlos.

"Sorry about this morning, I was re-wrapping his bandage." I said only telling half of the truth , her eyes twinkled telling me she knew I was lying and I started laughing. She was cool , I see where Carlos got his playful side from, they act just alike. I think me and her are going to be good in laws. She gets back in the car.  
"Call me when you make it home Ma, tell papa I love him for me?" Carlos said, coming behind me wrapping his arms loosely around my waist and I lean back into him. My face gets hot, and she winks at me and reaches her hand out the door telling Carlos to come here. She whispers something in his ear and he smiles kissing her on the cheek.

"Be safe mijo, I love you. Bye TK , I hope to see you soon?" I nod smiling and waving at her as she rounds his circle driveway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babies this is a short one, I start my road trip today, pray for me please? Thank you in advance for your prayers.
> 
> Find a reason to stay, you got this baby.
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,steph


	16. C/15 Trust

{Carlos POV}

"Mijo keep him around. He cares for you like me and your father do. He's a good one and I'm glad he's the first one you've brought around us. Even if you aren't together right now, don't let him slip away ok? I trust you to make the right decision mijo." She whispered in my ear right in front of TK and I blushed, how did she know we aren't together right now? I nod my head giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay I love you mijo, Bye TK hope to see you soon?" I roll my eyes at her attempting to put us back together. It already feels like we are but we still need to talk about somethings before he decides to be with me. He nods his head smiling while I just wrap my arms around his waist needing his touch. He leans back into me accepting my display of affection. I'm not surprised, this is his love language, I learned that over the past couple of days.

Me and TK walk back into the house after ma pulls out. I think she likes him, they exchanged some good looks from where I was standing and after she whispered in my ear I knew that I had her approval.

"Your mom likes me!!!! I told you families love me, one down a lot more to go but I'm excited!" I smile at him , my crazy baby.

"Yes she does like you, which is why we need to talk before I get her hopes up thinking you will stick around."

He looks at me and let's go of my arm sitting down on the couch farthest from me. I sit down knowing he wants space so I give it to him.

" I don't want to argue I just have to tell you a few things. Is that okay?" He nods his head at me tucking his feet under himself ready to listen to what I have to say. I love this man, everything about him... I don't know how I thought I could live without him.

"My parents are here illegally. Me and my sister got our papers when we were little but the process for my parents was a lot harder, and after Emily died they stopped trying. So when my mom called you in a panic , it was because she wouldn't be able to see me in the hospital if I went. That's why I couldn't go. So I really appreciate what you Paul and your dad did for me that night." He nods his head.

"It's unfair that good people have to live their life in fear everyday because of institutional things like ICE. ICE shouldn't even exist if you ask me. Where you came from doesn't matter! Why is it such a big deal I'll never understand. I knew your parents didn't have your papers that's why I knew I had to help you. Especially if Michelle was busy, I knew you had no one else. So thank you for trusting me enough to help you." I looked at him surprised but not really. I know his heart and I know he would have done it for anyone in my situation.

"TK... I don't know what to say I care about you so much and I don't want to lose you I'm sorry for everything that I said. I'll let you take care of me everyday if that's what will make you stay with me. You keep me calm and level headed at the same time. You make me the happiest I've been since Emily died and I don't want to let you slip away. I don't even know why I broke up with you I hate seeing you hurting and I'm sorry for all of the pain I have caused you and I promise not to do it again intentionally. I won't let anyone hurt you. I know we both need to deal with our past and there is still one person I have to tell you about from mine before I ask you to be with me."

I take a deep breath and start telling my story about him.

" I knew I was gay since I was 10, but I didn't accept myself until I was 15. I found this man who I thought I was in love with but I was wrong. He was just a predator who prayed on young boys finding themselves. I met him at the mall with my mom shopping and I thought he was cute.When my mom went into the dressing rooms he came over and gave me his number telling me to call him. I took it thinking I got a cute guys number, and we started texting the next day. He didn't tell me until a month into us texting that he was 22. I didn't think anything of it because he went to Texas state which wasn't far so we would still be able to see each other. He used me for 2 years. He would bring me around his friends and show me off, but I wasn't feeling good one day and he snapped at me. He told me I was just something to show off while he had a boyfriend on the side and that I wasn't his type anyways. I blocked him and didn't talk to him for 2 days after that. I went to school the following Monday and ma usually took us but she had to talk to my dad that morning. Emily was sick so I was walking to school by myself that day. I walked past an ally when someone pulled me in and it was him. He and two of his friends jumped me and I had to go to school with a few broken ribs and 2 black eyes. My teacher sent me to the nurse she gave me ice and tried calling my parents but I stopped her. I hadn't even told them I was gay yet. I was going to ease them into the idea but she said she had to call them. 10 minutes later my ma came rushing through the nurses office looking for me but I was just laying on the couch. "Mijo what happened? Who did this to you?" I was trying to hold back my tears hearing the worry in her voice and I just shook my head. "Thank you for the ice and letting me stay here until my ma got here." I said trying to smile and the nurse. she nods her head giving me a worried look as well and I look away not having anything else to say. I don't want to talk about it. What was I going to tell my parents ?? Hey mom and dad I'm gay and the guy I was dating is 22 and him and his friends jumped me on the way to school today that's why I look like this but I'm fine. No I couldn't. I sit in the car the drive home was silent. I got into the house seeing my dad stop working to go into the house. Great if he stopped working that means he would start questioning me.  
I had to come up with something. Emily was the only one who knew about him. We were definitely over now. I had to change my number so he would leave me alone.   
"What happened to you?"   
"I got jumped papa"  
"Why"  
"Because I'm an idiot for thinking I had a friend." I said truthfully even though he was more than a friend.  
"Did you tell the principal? Are they in any type of punishment?"   
"Yes" I lied.  
"Maria, can you clean his wounds I have to get at least 20 pounds of milk today. Mijo, if any one else messes with you let me know. I will protect you with my life do you hear me?" I nodded my head letting one tear fall, I thought I loved him. I don't want my family to get into trouble over me. I won't let my dad get arrested and then deported over a boy. He wiped my tear giving me a hug softly aware of my bruises.

I go into their bathroom sitting on the toilet to let my ma patch me up. She is crying softly trying not to let the tears fall. "It's okay to cry ma. I'm okay it just looks bad right now." I said which makes her cry more. "Who would do this to my sweet mijo? You are bruised everywhere. You know we can't take you to the hospital , what are we going to do about your ribs? "I can wrap muscle tape around my body and it will help it heal correctly." She nods and helps me put it on. "Lay down mijo, I'll make you dinner when you wake up. I nod my head"

I snap back into reality when I hear sniffling and look over at my baby TK crying, I open my arm to him telling him to come here. He sits on my lap crying on my shoulder while I rub his back up and down trying to help his breathing even back out. "I'm okay now baby, it's okay you don't have to cry for me my love. It's okay, I'm okay." I repeat the words slowly for him just to make sure he hears me over all of his sniffling. " I'm right here baby. You're okay, it's okay my love." He looks at me putting his hands on my face, "You didn't deserve to go through that. You are a good man and we're probably an even better kid. How could he take advantage of you like that? He's a horrible person whoever he was. Why would what happened to you change how I feel about you? It doesn't it makes me care for you even more. Don't lie to me when your in trouble again , understood?" I kiss his cheek, "Yes sir" he wraps his arms around my neck hugging me tightly. I just let him hug me because it seemed like he needed it more than I did so I wasn't going to stop him. I rubbed his back up and down and he kissed me on the neck. "Thank you for telling me I know that must have been hard for you to talk about." I nodded kissing his cheek again. "I love you TK" I said meaning it. He looked at me with glassy eyes blinking at me like the attractive man that he is. "I love you too Carlos. Don't break my heart." He said pulling my face close to his so we're sharing the same breath. I look at him with lustful eyes and he pushes me back.  
"We can't Carlos" he said out of breath I hadn't even kiss him yet.  
"Why?"  
He looked at me licking his lips playing with the top of my t-shirt.  
"Just take it off baby come here." He looks at me with hooded eyes lifting my shirt up but not taking it off.  
"I won't be able to control myself Carlos. I don't want to risk hurting you." He said slowly , like he was trying to convince himself. I bring his ear next to my lips and whisper to him how I know he likes,

"Stop thinking so much my love. Let me love you."

He presses his body against mine and I sigh reaching for the bottom of his shirt to pull it off. He has his face in my neck breathing heavily, I know he's trying to hold himself back so that he doesn't hurt me but I need him just as much as he needs me, if not more.

"Take this off" he unwraps his arms from around my neck taking his shirt off throwing it beside us on the couch. I rub my finger from the top of his throat to the top of my sweatpants he's wearing. I pull the string undoing the bow that held them securely around his small waist.

"Carlos?" I took my arm brace off , putting it with his shirt. "Do you trust me?" I asked knowing he would say yes. He nodded massaging my arm since this is the first time it has been out the brace at home. He stretched my arm out telling me to squeeze his hand when it starts to hurt, but it never did. He kept looking at me making sure I wasn't lying. Once he saw that I wasn't he relaxed a little.

"Your stitches healed correctly, you're all set for physical therapy tomorrow. I was really worried they were going to get infected and it would go into your blood stream. I shake my head at him pulling him to me to give him a kiss.

"Thank you for always taking care of me , even when I wanted to do it myself." He gets off of me reaching for my hand. I take his and he leads me into my bedroom. He sits me down on the bed. I look at him, wanting to do whatever he wants too. I can wait as long as I need to for him. I would wait forever.

He takes my shirt off still being cautious of my bandage even though it doesn't hurt anymore. He kissed my bandage before pushing me back into the bed. I raise my eyebrow at him wondering what he wanted to do this time.

I need him, I pull him to me kissing him changing our positions, I was on top of him hovering over his face.   
"Tell me what you need baby. I'll wait forever for you if I need too. Just tell me what you need." He looked at me a quick kiss. "I need you Carlos, just be careful of your arm okay?" I nod.

Slipping my hand under the band of his underwear to cup his ass. He moans into my neck as I kiss down his throat. He grabs my head stopping me from kissing down his chest. "Are you okay?" he asked me , I nodded "Yes, I'm okay. Are we moving to fast for you?" he shook his head no and I nod " I'm still nervous about your arm babe. I don't think we should be doing this." I look at him seeing the battle in his eyes "You aren't going to hurt me baby. If something happens it will be my fault, if you're not ready that's okay I won't force you. But you have to communicate these things with me."

He kissed me reaching for the bottom of my shirt and I lift my arms slowly to make him feel better about taking it off. He kisses down my stomach switching our positions. He straddles my lap looking up at me from the top of my sweats. I nod my head at him as he slowly brings them down my legs, he throws them somewhere on the floor. He straddles me again to kiss me while stroking me through my briefs. I pull him closer to me , my tongue exploring every part of his mouth. He stops the kiss again and I groan

"patience papi" was all he said as he moved his hands up and down my chest.

I grab his hips holding him on top of me while I grind into him. He reaches between our bodies and pulls the band of my briefs wrapping his hands around my length. I throw my head back into the pillows loving the way his hands feel jerking me off. He leans down kissing my lower stomach and hips before taking me deep into his mouth. "Tyler fuck" I said as he hollowed his cheeks on my dick. I put my hand in his hair not pushing him down, I just need to touch him. I tense knowing I'm close, he takes all of me into his mouth and moans, the vibration from his moan making me cum in his mouth.

I look down at him as he swallowed my cum looking at me with a small smile. He lays on my chest kissing my neck. "I love you papi. We can do whatever you want once your healed and health again, but I won't be the reason you get hurt." I grab his waist sliding his practically naked body against mine so he's eye level with me.

I lean my forehead against his as we breath in sync "papi" I move my lips slowly against his, I know he doesn't want to do anything since I'm not healed all the way I just needed to touch him on more time. I rubbed up and down his back as he arched into my touch sticking his beautiful ass out in the process. His boxers leaving nothing to the imagination. I grab his hips pressing him into me, I'm still hard. His weight on top of mine felt like heaven. I reached lower to cup his ass cheeks in my hands as I grinded into him.

He's not willing to do penetration until I'm healed I get it. But I need him badly, his mouth was only the start.

I reach my hand into his boxers massaging his ass , I slowly spread them apart and rim his tight hole. I pull one hand out looking up at him as he takes my index finger in his mouth. I grit my teeth together to stop myself from taking his beautiful body and fucking him through the bed right now. He lets my finger go with a pop and I slowly use it to enter his ass. He leans into my neck, making sounds at the back of his throat. I just squeezed his ass while biting his ear. "I won't hurt you baby, just let me in" I said calmly in his ear making him shiver.

I kiss his neck causing him to stick his ass out further. He slowly starts fucking my finger as I whisper naughty things in his ears, I smack his ass loving the way it turns warm under my touch. He moans into my ear , pulling his head back I kiss him while adding another finger into his ass. He groans into my mouth as I slow the pace of my finger down. He breaks the kiss first putting his head on my shoulder again. " Don't hide from me baby, let me see you." he kisses behind my ear whispering " I'm not hiding , I just need to catch my breath" I wrap his arms tighter around my shoulders , "Take as much time as you need. We can stop if you want?" I say kissing just below his bottom lip.

Nipping at it he responds "keep going, I trust you." I smile down at him " I love you" I said before taking him off of my lap laying him flat on his stomach. I reach my hand between him and my bed stroking him, while taking off his boxers. They were a beautiful white with good accents all around the waist and bottom of them. I tell him to grab onto the headboard , putting him on all fours. He moans when I slap his ass , then softly rub it. I put my face between his legs swallowing his dick whole. I push his lower body into my face setting a rhythm.

He calls my name "Carlos" I take his beautiful dick out of my mouth stroking him to the same rhythm I set. "Yes my love" he let go of the headboard his ass seated firmly on my stomach now. ". I feel like I'm hurting you." I sit up taking him off of my lap and turn around, putting him in front of me facing the mirror on my closet door.

" Look at me" I said pointing to the mirror , his eyes heat seeing our position and he leans his back into my chest. "We can stop right now if that's what you want my love." I stroke up and down his arms trying to calm his anxiety.

"I'm sorry I keep stopping you, I just don't want to-" he stops mid-sentence moaning as I suck on his ear lobe a little. I jerk him off with my right hand while I grab his throat to watch me in the mirror with my left. He looks so attractive right now. I put my ankles over his locking his legs in place while I please him. He moans when I bite his neck, I move my hand faster as he grabs onto my thighs "Carlos please"

"I got you baby, you're okay." I let go of his throat and he immediately leans his face into my neck. I'm starting to think it's his favorite place on my body.   
"Carlos" I trail kisses down the back of his neck making him shiver. He moans loudly into my ear as he finishes cuming all over my hand. His eyes are glazed over and I kiss his swollen red ones.

"I love you Tyler Kennedy Strand. You make me the happiest man alive, stay with me? Be my boyfriend again?"   
"Whewww, you are so hot. How could I say no?" He responds smirking and I kiss his neck one more time.

"Don't do that officer." Ah so we're back to officer I laugh at him and carry him into the shower with me.

I got him Ma, I wasn't going to let him slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babies , how are you all doing ???   
> This chapter thoughhh 🥵🥵  
> Anyways , I'm on the third day of my trip , continue praying for me and my family please okay byeeeee
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> Find a reason to keep going you got this baby
> 
> -xo,Steph


	17. C/16 Manners and human decency

Tk POV

I move to put on a shirt after we got out of the shower but I hear the doorbell. I look at Carlos "I'll get it babe" he nods taking my towel off of my head.

I walk to the door opening it seeing Michelle sucking on a lollipop, I smile at her. "Hey Michelle , how are you?"

"Ahh so this is why you took off work today?" She said completely avoiding my greeting and smirking at me. I blush and let her in.

"No ma'am just needed to be there for Carlos today. He needed me" I said, shrugging. She hugged me smiling, then whispered in my ear "Thank you for the other day. He cares for you deeply. Thank you for taking care of my bestfriend lord knows after his childhood he needs someone like you." I smile sadly, rubbing her back showing her my gratitude at her words.

Just then Carlos walks out in some ripped jeans and a tight fitting tan v-neck shirt with all black nike AirMax 370's. I just gawk at him. What the hell? This is man is my boyfriend? I look at Michelle who winks at me and smiles at Carlos.

"Hey M, long time no see, I missed you. How've you been?" He said giving her a hug and I swear my body heated up seeing his arms flex when he hugged her.

Alright , snap out of it.

"- I came over to talk to you. Are you busy?" I take that as my cue. "I'm going to the store text me if you need anything?" Carlos looks at me sideways and I mirror his look. "Stay." I raise my eyebrow at him. "Why? She has to talk to you. I'll only be out about 15 minutes." He nods reluctantly. I start walking to my car when he stops me," at least let me walk you outside." I nod my head smiling at him.

"You don't have to leave TK, it's nothing too serious just his parents-"   
"Papers." I finish for her. She nods looking shocked.

" He called me the other day and his mom told me. I stitched him up the night you were busy." I said as understanding showed in her eyes.

"Anything I can do?" I ask, feeling a little useless. He's my man, I should be helping him. This is huge and I still have to meet his dad. Then I get an idea, "What's his parents address?" I ask and she stares at me , " Text me." I say seeing Carlos come out walking to the door putting his keys in his back pocket opening the door for me. I thank him and we're outside.

"You didn't have to walk me, you have a circular driveway you know babe." I said a little embarrassed at all the attention his is giving me today.

"Just wanted to say I love you. And if we're going to be together, you'll have to get used to me doing these things. This is just human decency and manners." He said shrugging like everyone does what he does for me all the time.

"Come here, can I have a hug?" He opens my door giving me a hug and kissing me on the side of my head.

"You're hair is still wet baby, don't get sick." He said I nod and hold him a little while longer before letting go.

"Text me if you need anything from the store?" He nods pecking my lips.

"I love you too by the way. Have a good talk with Michelle, I'll see you in a few okay?" He smiles backing away from me. Even though he's at the door he still watches me pull off in my Jeep before going back inside. Oh this man, I reach the end of his driveway when I feel my phone vibrate. I press on the brake keeping me at the end of his driveway seeing it's from Michelle and I add the address to my google maps.

20 minutes from Carlos's house so about 25 from the store. I quickly push the direction button deciding not to bring anything since I don't know them that well. I'm five minutes away when I see a Publix and I can't resist going in. He has a family of farmers what should I get his dad?

I decide on a fruit bowl with kiwis, strawberries, mangoes, and pineapple slices. For his mom , I buy 2 roses. One represents Carlos and the other represents Emily , who from what Carlos told me would have loved me and I her.

I also get her a dry erase board with magnetic markers. When Paul was talking to Carlos and she called me she said she was going to set up her own office in their house. She said she had a couple of ideas but nothing stuck except wanting her own reminder board. So I hope that this dry erase board will suffice. I bought 6 magnetic markers. Red,green,blue,pink,yellow and black we're all the colors that came in the marker set.

I go back to the car rushing because I would hate for the fruit bowl to get cold. Good thing I'm only 5 minutes away.

I pull into their farm and drive up the long drive way. I take everything out the bags but keep the roses in the vase I bought with them. I had them cut down so that they would look nice in a small vase. I knock on the door and see Carlos's mom. She smiles surprised at me and opens the door quickly seeing that my hands are full.

" One is for Carlos, thank you for bringing him into this world and the other is for Emily   
" One is for Carlos, thank you for bringing him into this world and the other is for Emily. Thank you for bringing her into his life. He is the man he is today because of you all. Especially Emily, so thank you." I say giving her the two roses in the vase. She nods giving me a hug.

"No, thank you. For the roses they are beautiful and the meaning behind them is why I will never throw them away. Carlos is lucky to have you. Thank you for coming into his life. He needed you right when you came." I smile and shrug her praise off.

"Here's a dry erase board with adhesive so you can put it in your office that your setting up , and here's some markers you can use to write on the board as well. I didn't know what to get his dad, so I got him a fruit bowl since he's healing he needs the vitamins they give."

"His name is Pablo , thank you. He will appreciate it. Don't be intimidated by him, he's really a sweetheart once he warms up to you. This fruit bowl will help though" she said winking at me. I nod nervous, should I have done this behind Carlos's back? I want to help his family and him so I need them to like me first.

She takes me to the back of the house , Into a bedroom with brown pillars , it was beautiful. It shows the driveway of the farm and some land, they had the best view in the house I bet.

I walk in knocking on the open door looking for his dad Pablo. He comes out the bathroom drying his hands. He was attractive too, it obviously runs in the family. He has beautiful parents , I bet Emily was even more beautiful.

" Hello, I'm TK Strand. It's nice to finally meet you."   
He looks from Maria to me with a confused glare, I start to get a little nervous when he speaks

" M, you didn't tell him I was a hugger?" He smiled and I blew out a relieved breath. He pulls me into a hug.

" I know who you are, thank you for saving my sons life the other day. Our mijo is very important to us. He's all we have left here. He's the only reason we haven't went back to Brazil. We're here to make sure he's safe."

"You sound just like him wow." Was all I could say when I heard his voice. I was shocked to say the least. He had a perfect row of sparkling white teeth. He laughed quietly while Maria just smiled.

" My mijo, he's over protective of you   
" My mijo, he's over protective of you. I see why, your his one. I thought he would find him a women and take real good care of her but when he told me he was gay, it all made sense. Why he never brought a girl home. He was always alone , he was just a kid trying to find himself and when he thought he had a friend, said friend ended up jumping him in an alley one day while he was walking to school. Since then he's closed in on himself and stopped going out. He started working on the farm until he graduated and then went off to school to be a police officer. After that he stopped communicating with us because he thought we didn't support his decision. Emily would tell us about all of his accomplishments and everything about his house and just little things about him. When she died we thought we had lost him too, but we got closer and now we're on great terms. I feel like that has something to with you young man."

I shake my head. "I have a very strong relationship with my dad, my mom divorced us when I was 11 its just been us ever since. I have a lot of respect for him, he's the one that made me want to be a fire fighter. Carlos is an amazing cop by the way, you should see him work. We're called to the same accidents sometimes and he's always so amazing. I'm in awe of your son. He's a good man and he doesn't deserve to live in the fear of losing his parents. Is there anything I can do to help you guys with your papers? I can see if my dad has some connections and see where that takes us?"

They look at me in shock and Maria hugs me "Thank you TK" she said crying silently , while Pablo nods his head at me. He approves of me, good.

"No one deserves to live in fear Maria, I can see what I can pull together. Can I get one of your phone numbers? And Carlos doesn't know I'm here. Can you guys not tell him for me please?"

They both nod looking at each other with goofy smiles, I raise my brow

"what?"

"Nothing" they say in unison and start laughing. I shake my head , I love them already. This family is full of inside jokes.

"Thank you in advance I have to get back, I'm already running over 10 minutes. I'll get Michelle to send me your contact info?" Maria nods her head walking me to the door.

I pull out " Hey Siri call Papi Carlos" , as she calls him it rings twice before he picks up. "Hey baby where are you, you okay?"

"Yes I'm fine and ran over a little bit on time at the store. I'm on the way back now. Do you need anything before I get there?"

"No just hurry back I miss you" I smile   
" love you papi , and patience." I hear him scoff and I hang up the phone.

Okay mission accomplished. I need to text Michelle and get Maria's contact info.

I move to the side a little to reach for my phone. I know that I shouldn't be texting and driving but I need this info ASAP.

I reach a little more still holding the wheel tight and straight. I look up when I hear a born blowing. I veer off the road but the truck hits the back of my Jeep sending me spinning to the other lane.

I hear sirens a few minutes later and then I pass out.

I wake up being cut out of my seatbelt and see Carlos taking witness statements. I try to scream his name ..

"CARLOS HELP ME" he looks over seeing me and runs over to me. The FD has to hold him back., I reach out to him trying to grab his hand and then I pass out in the middle of the street. I tried to walk but when I reached out to him I fell face first into the road and passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babiessss, how are you all doing ??❤️
> 
> I've been uploading early in the mornings so people have more time to read my chapters than when I uploaded in the evenings. Thank you guys again for supporting my book. This is literally a dream come true!!!
> 
> Find a reason to stay , you got this baby I'm proud of you. Keep fighting‼️
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph


	18. C/17 Medical

Carlos POV

I miss waking up with TK in my arms but we had to get back to reality at some point. I grab my keys and pull out of my driveway locking everything.

I come into the station to clock in and I'm sent right back out to a call and I move quickly.

I get to the call seeing a white Jeep and think nothing of it. This is Texas , there are a bunch of people who drive Jeeps. I didn't think it would be TK my love sitting there fighting for his life.

I start getting witness statements and they describe a man with brunette hair and he's small but not too small. They all start giving me signs leading me to believe that it's TK , but I didn't want to think the worst. When I last texted him he was on the way to my house from the store. I had to come in because they needed backup people for tonight's shift.

I hear my name and I turn around knowing that voice.

"CARLOS HELP ME!"

I rush over seeing the love of my life strapped into his seat belt trying to get out. I almost get to him before the FD team holds me back. They try to tell me things to calm me down but nothing works. This can't be happening, right when everything is going back to normal, something like this goes wrong.

He passes out face first into the road and I break free of the FD team, no one is helping him.

Enough is enough, I pick him up and take him to Michelle , she grabs him asking for details and then she gets to work seeing my face. I said two words and she knew.

" I'm spiraling."

She grabbed him wiping the blood from his nose. She cuts open his shirt and does compressions to try and get him to breathe deeper. He's taking shallow breaths right now like there is something weighing down on his chest.

She cuts the middle of his pants putting alcohol on the long cut above his knee. I cringe at the site of him surrounded by so much blood. I back away from the truck seeing captain strand and his team pull into the scene. I rush to all of them so they can hear it from me before anyone else.

"Okay I need you all to listen to me. It's TK in the accident. He's in the EMT truck right now with Michelle I only saw one bad cut right above his knee.. He has shallow breathing right now , and Michelle is working on trying to get him to breathe deeper. We just have to all stay calm because I didn't when I first got here and almost made things worse." They nod and slowly walk over to the EMT truck.

Owen hops in the back of the truck grabbing his hand

" I'm fine dad" We all gasp seeing him open his eyes.

"I just spinned into the middle of the road , and the truck driver hit me from behind. Where is Carlos, is he still here?" He asked, making me smile a little.

I rub the bottom of his leg, letting him know I'm here. He lifts his head, smirking at me "Hey baby, miss me?" I rolled my eyes at him.

" You know how to make an entrance don't you?" He smiles laying his head back down.

"Hey Michelle thanks for the address." We all looked at her confused and she just acted clueless.

"What address?" She stared at him and then he covered his mouth. I shook my head.

"What address?" I ask firmly but not so much since he's in pain from the crash & his dad is right here.

"I WENT TO YOUR PARENTS HOUSE EARLIER. Sorry not sorry for lying." He said, closing his eyes, I stood there shocked.

My eyes must have been as big as saucers because Michelle told me to relax.

"Michelle , my dad doesn't even accept the fact that I'm gay, why would I be relaxing right now?" I look at TK, "What did he say to you? I'll call him right now." I pull out my phone when he sits up and takes it from me.

"Sit." I look at my head furrowing my eyebrow at him.

" I'm okay, I'd rather stand." He rolled his eyes.

"Sit Carlos.... please?"

I sit only because he guilt tripped me with that please.

"You have your dad misunderstood. He's a cool guy. We talked and all went well, why would you think the worst?" He asked nodding at his dad.

The team started to slowly file out seeing that he only had a minor scratch to show for his accident.

TK POV

"He's never accepted me TK, he just dealt with it until I got out of the house. It wasn't hard for him to deal with since I never hung out with anyone, boys or girls and I never brought anyone over to the house to meet my parents. I was planning to bring you but you did it yourself. We're still going to do it the right way and go together. I just don't want him saying anything rude to you. He's my dad but you're the love of my life. Without you I feel incomplete." He said grabbing my hand and rubbing the back of it. The IV still pierced through my skin as we sat in the EMT truck.

I take my other hand and wrap my arm around him. This man has gone through so much, we still have so much to learn about each other. We need a weekend vacation trip. I start planning the dates in my head making sure I remember to ask him about his schedule the second week of next month.

He leaves getting back to his shift and I sit alone in the EMT truck. Michelle soon comes in and takes the IV out my hand. My car is totaled and my clothes are cut due to Michelle checking for internal bleeding so I just ask her to take me to the station. I always keep extra clothes there just in case anything happens.

We make it back to the station before my team comes back. I head to the lockers and get a text.

"Papi Carlos-" How are you feeling ? You need me to pick you up?

"Do you mind? I don't need you too if it's out of the way."

"Papi Carlos"- Michelle texted me already , I'm outside whenever you're ready my love.

"Damn Michelle, superwoman like I said"

"Papi Carlos"-😂🤷🏾♀️

I hurry and change throwing my old bloodied clothes in the trash and walk back down the stairs. I take my extra bag and bring it out with me. Carlos is on the phone with his mom when I come down.

He moved the phone and pecked me on the lips. "I love you" he mouthed and I fluttered my eyelashes at him when he opened my door.

"I love you too" I whispered back, he smiles still talking to his mom.

"Yes ma he's fine now, he almost gave me a heart attack. The first responders who were there weren't moving fast enough so I took things into my own hands. They thought I would just let him collapse in the middle of the street. They were holding me back but I moved them and picked him up, taking him to Michelle. Turns out he only had a scratch on his knee and he passed out because he didn't have any water in his body to hydrate him." I rubbed his arm trying to calm him down.

All the FD that came did was cut me out of the car , Michelle and Carlos did the rest. Talk about a disappointment, I didn't even thank them. I was taking off my seat belt myself when they cut it which made me land face first into the middle of the road in the first place.

" Yes ma , he came to see you earlier?" He said putting the phone on speaker. I smile shaking my head.

"Why would he come see me mijo? Should I be worried?" She said keeping her word and I laughed quietly. We hear Pablo in the back.

"Is that Carlos or TK?" I face palmed and looked out the window. Carlos puts the phone on the holster attached to his windshield and connects to the blue tooth . As we start driving his dad gets closer to the phone.

"TK, is that you?" I smile at the phone

"Hi Pablo!!! How are you doing ?" He laughs "I'm better than I was. Healing sucks."

*A/N: chapter plug??? No? Okay.*

I look at Carlos winking. "I know but we all have to go through it at one point in life. How was your bowl?" I started twisting my bracelet, nervous he wouldn't like it.

"It was good, thank you for getting it for me. You didn't have too, but you did and that's all that matters." I exhale slowly, glad he wasn't allergic to anything in it.

"Like you said healing sucks , I just hope I could make it just a little bit better." Carlos kisses my hand and I just look at him.

"Maria , get this phone before I kidnap him."  
"He's our son, you don't have to kidnap him."   
"No , TK not Carlos."

I laugh while Carlos looks at the phone. "Your not on mute papa"

"I know mijo. Sorry you had to hear that though, TK come by anytime, okay?"

"Thank you Pablo, I will whenever Carlos will bring me. He's forbidden me from coming over there by myself again." I sigh dramatically.

"You've never been here TK" his mom said in a majestic voice and I laughed.

"No I haven't" I played along rubbing Carlos's leg, just needing to touch him. He raised his eyebrow at me smiling.

I love this man.

"I love you ma and papa! You guys be safe. We will come over on Saturday, yes?"

"Okay dinner?" Maria said and I just nodded in excitement,

" Yes please"

They laugh and hang up leaving the car silent. It was a comforting silence though. We pull into his driveway, this place is starting to feel like home.

We get out and I head to the shower while he goes into the guest bedroom to straighten up. I come out the bathroom looking in his closet for clothes again.

I looked in the mirror and saw a faint scar in the middle of my rib cage. It looked like a birthmark, I was thankful to say the least. But when you take the time to look at it, there's a faint break in the scar. It's from one of my many altercations with Alex's. Most of them ended with me having some type of bruise whether it be mentally or physically. I stare at the scar in the mirror, wondering if it will ever truly heal.

Will I ever be ready to give my body to Carlos? I mean how many other scars are there that I haven't even noticed yet? I still stand in the mirror looking at myself checking for bruises. I know it has been a year since i've even been away from Alex , but have I gone blind to some of the marks he's left on me?

I hear footsteps coming towards me , but I don't pay them any mind. I know it's Carlos.  
I quickly step away from the mirror opening the door to the closet and stepping in.

"Hey , why are you hiding?" he said coming into the closet. I put on a fake smile and hugged him. "I was just messing with you. What took so long in the guest room?" I had to change the conversation or he would find out the real reason I was "Hiding" in the closet.

"I turned it into a mini-office a couple months ago. Michelle would come over a lot and spend time there. Just wanted something comfortable for her. She's searching for her little sister who went missing 3 years ago. They still haven't found the body, ever since then she's been looking non stop for her. She wasn't eating well or taking care of herself, so the office in the back gave her a few things.She had someone to talk to about everything she discovered just right down the hall. She was fed regularly if not, I had food in the warmer for her before she left for work or when she got back. She also was in my sight where I could see how she was doing. I know her mom trusts me with her life, she's my best friend. It put my mind at ease knowing she was here and not in her apartment alone , just left with thoughts of Iris. I know what it feels like to lose your sister and your only other sibling. So we shared that pain, and she eventually moved on and was ready to take steps back into the world again. I never changed the guest room just in case she went back into a bad space mentally and she needed to crash here for a few nights." he rubbed his arm, he told me it was sore earlier from everything they asked him to do in physical therapy.

I put on his shorts and hop in bed dragging him with me. "Come on , I'll give you a massage. You're rubbing your arm like you need one. Lucky for you, I was going to give you one anyways. No need to beg papi." He hums and lays flat on his stomach on the bed with his face to the side, looking at me from under his eyelashes.

I go into the bathroom and mix cocoa butter and coconut oil together knowing they blend well together and thin out a little due to the coconut oil. It becomes almost like a gel, but I never liked the stickiness of a gel anyways. I put a warm towel over his lower back and sit in the middle.

"How was your day? Aside from my accident making your heart rate rise?" I ask smiling shyly.

"It's better now, physical therapy was hell though. I realized I should have been taking my arm out of the cast more often."

I start from his hand and work my way up to his shoulder. He's so tense and I just want him to relax.

"Thank you for brining my dad a bowl. What was in it?"

"Fruit"

"Thank you , he doesn't ask for help much he doesn't really ask for anything. So thank you for doing that for him."

I nod quietly lost in my thoughts, we sit in silence as I slowly massage my way up his arm trying to calm the nerves that were shocked at his physical therapy session today.

"Where are you baby?" He asked quietly , I shook myself staying quiet.

"Where ever you are , can you come back to me? I need to talk to you about something."

I get off his back sitting in front of him against the pillows. He crawls up the bed laying his head in my lap. I play in his hair and wait for him to start talking.

"When I walked in a little while ago, I saw you staring at yourself in the mirror I didn't think anything of it but I came back and you were still in the same position. I saw you staring at your side, are you okay? Are you sick? Is there something you need to tell me?" He said quietly.

I stop touching him at the mention of my side. Has he seen more scars on me and just hasn't told me? I see him look up at me and I break eye contact, enough is enough.

"I have a scar on my side, I've known it was there for a while, but I never took the time to look at it. Alex punched me in the ribs one time and the next night he kicked me in the same spot. I bruised the bone but didn't break it. That scar has been there ever since. Everyone thinks it's a birthmark , so they never ask about it. You would be the first."

He turned around , sitting identical to me. I see the question in his eyes and I nod answering his silent question,

"why?"

"I didn't want to report him. He was a good person at one point, maybe one day he'll get back to that." I shrug as he gets off the bed walking around.

"No, that's not good enough. If you would have went to the doctor you could have lied or something. You could have been internally bleeding? We have to go now."

I nod and put a grey hoodie on, "let's go" He walks to the door without me, going to the car. He doesn't open my door as he sits and waits for me.

"I'm sorry that I didn't get checked sooner, I didn't think of everything that could have gone wrong."

"You don't have to think anymore. We'll know in a couple of hours."

With that he pulls onto the road and we drive in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: hey babies super sorry about the late upload ,
> 
> Choose to stay
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph


	19. C/18 Thank you

{Carlos POV}

He doesn't understand what could have happened to him. He could have died!! And for what? To protect a man who beats him? I had to stop talking, I would say something I didn't really mean. His situation already triggered me because the same thing happened to Emily, but his was worse.

I've never seen permanent scars on Em, her husband always aimed for the arm, mostly punches that healed in a few days. But TK , he was beaten to death! How dare that bastard ever touch him like that?

*flashback*  
I pull into my driveway seeing a hunched over figure at my door, I immediately step out rushing to my door knowing who it was. Why the hell would she come out here in broad daylight?? Anyone could have saw her and thought I was the one who did this to her. I would never, but my neighbors don't know that. I quickly pick her hunched over body up and carry her inside my house closing and locking the door behind me. I rush her into the living room since the guest room was turned into an office for Michelle.   
SHIT, I don't have any ice for the swelling on her arm. Should I risk leaving her in the car while I get it ? Or just rush and keep her here? I go with the second option and run back out to my car. I come back to the house with a bag of ice to find a note,

"Keep me in your prayers , I'm spiraling"

Our code words.

I texted her playing along " I'll pray for you. "

Which means I'll find you and get you away from him as soon as I can.

I'm spiraling means S.O.S without sounding to much of a cry for help.

I've only used it twice, when Em died and when I saw TK in the car accident.

*flashback over*

I drive and focus on the road trying not to grip the steering wheel of my corvette too hard.

TK puts his hands on top of mine loosening my grip, my knuckles almost white, "Slow down and calm down"  
I just nod at him and do what he asks , he's probably more nervous than I am. I mean this is his body not mine, I have to pull over.

I pull to the side of the road and put my car in park. I close my eyes and breath in slowly counting to 10 and slowly exhale while counting back down to 1. I open my eyes to see TK looking out the window.

"I'm sorry for how I was acting. You are probably more nervous than I am, and I was just upset that you wouldn't think to see someone when it comes to your health. I understand your point of view though and I just want to hold you before I start driving again. Is that okay?" He unbuckles his seatbelt climbing into my lap sitting quietly. I kiss the top of his hair rubbing up and down his back whispering an apology in his ear.   
We sit like that for a few minutes then he climbs back into his seat putting his seatbelt back on.

"Ready?" He nods grabbing my hand and putting it on the center counsel while I drive with the other. I kiss the back of his hand and keep driving with a tension free car.

We make it to the doctors office and sit in the waiting chairs /10:25\ 5 minutes early for our appointment, good we're right on time.

The nurse comes out and calls his name "Tyler Strand?" We both stand and he squeezes my hand. We walk back to his room and he sits on the bed while I sit in the chair opposite of him. The nurse goes out getting the doctor.

TK's knee is quickly bouncing up and down, making me nervous. I put my hand on his knee rubbing his leg to try and calm him down.

"It's okay, everything will be alright. You just have to relax, yes?"

He nods smiling at me shyly and I move my hand back to my side. I stand up to hug him when the door opens again. His doctor comes in , her name is Mrs.Tiffany,

"Hi TK , long time no see! How have you been and what brings you here today?"

"Hey, um I have a scar on my side that's been there for a while , and I don't remember how it got there. It appeared about a year ago and I never got it checked out. Could there be something going on inside of me because of it?" He said, twisting his bracelet slowly on his arm.

"There could , but we won't know for sure unless I run some test. Do you have time to schedule some? Or do we need to make another appointment to do that?"

"How many test will I need to take?"

" Not really test , but x-rays and only two"

He nods his head. "When's your next off day?"

I pull out my phone looking at my calendar , this Sunday "Sunday, yours?"

"Monday. I'll just take off Sunday."

"Do you need me to take off Monday? I could say my arm is hurting?" He shakes his head,

" I put myself in this situation, your not taking off of work. Can I get both of them done on Sunday?" He turned to his doctor who was staring longingly at him. I raised my brow at her confused. Isn't she married? Hence the ring on her finger.

"Ma'am , Mrs.Tiffany???" I said trying to get her attention. She snapped out of it blushing at TK then acknowledging my presence turned to me. "He said he'd like to have both x-rays on Sunday. Is that fine?"

She just nods looking at our joint hands on his lap, then turns to the computer putting in his weight and height all of the necessities before leading us to the front desk.

"Be safe TK, come back soon." She pulled him into a hug, but when he tried to pull back she held on tighter.

"Okay" he said leaning back into me , while I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.

"Thank you for your help, I'll see you Sunday?" She just nods staring at my arms and walks away.

I scoff at her while I open the door for TK. "Is she serious?" He just looked straight ahead massaging his temples with his eyes closed.

"She's always like that, she acts like I'm not gay and like she didn't know you were my boyfriend. We should have made out in front of her , maybe then she'll get the idea."

" I don't blame her , I would date you too if I was a women." I said winking and he laughed

"Funny I think Michelle told me the same thing about you." He smirked and I just rolled my eyes, I love that woman but sometimes she just needed to keep her mouth shut.

"She always plays like that, your best friend is supposed to hype you up and make you feel better about yourself. I'd take a bullet for her , but she has never been able to keep her mouth shut." He smiled as I turned right into my driveway.

"Do you want to doordash some food , or go out for something?" He got out of the car going inside while I met him in the mud room where we left our keys and shoes.

"Door dash"

I nod pulling out my phone, I hand it to him and go to the bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth again just to make sure I don't have anything in them when the door dash person gets here.

I go into the kitchen grabbing 2 waters and a apple, I haven't been eating my fruits lately, I need to get back into the habit of doing that.

I move behind the counter unloading the dish washer , since I've been injured and busy I haven't been able to wash them myself.

I come back out to TK on the phone, but he's talking quietly. I walk closer behind him and I hear who he's talking too.

How did they get my number?

"Who is this?" He said quietly.

"This is Tobias , is Carlos around?"

"How do you know Carlos?"

"Childhood friend, we used to date when we were younger."

"How old are you?"

"I'm 31, listen I don't mean to intrude but I really do need to talk to Carlos. Is he around?"

I walk behind TK grabbing the phone and putting it on speaker.

"He's here , anything you have to say to him you can say to me" I hug him giving him a kiss on the cheek as he speaks. My strong baby, fighting my fears for me.

"Carlos, can we talk?"

"He'll talk when he's ready, until then you have me. But he is in the room."

I look at him with his arms crossed against his chest leaning back into me while I have my arms around him. I squeezed his waist showing my appreciation for his strength that I didn't have at the moment.

"Well I called to apologize for what happened when we were kids. I don't know if he told you , whoever you are but me and my friends jumped him on the way to school. I don't regret what I did but I do regret how I did it. I should have beat his ass by myself. Anyways I heard about your sister and wanted to call."

"Ok" was all TK said and I nodded thinking the same.

"I saw her the night that she died, she was married to my best friend. You all probably didn't recognize him, but he was sent into her life to fuck up yours. He ended up falling in love with the girl and my whole plan went to shit. A few years later , I decided to go to a therapist. And with the help of my therapist, I learned that the reason I hated you was because you made me feel. You made me feel like I would die without you. Every single day without you was pure hell and I just wanted you back. Even if it was you tied up in ropes, I wanted you. When he fell in love with Em-

"Don't call her that." TK said, unballing my fist while he spoke.

"Ok, with your sister then I realized that I wanted that with you. So I went to a therapist and I got better. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I didn't know he was a drunk Carlos, I wouldn't have stood by and let him beat her. They moved and we lost connection. He hit me up a year ago and told me the news, she drowned in the lake swimming."

"He killed her." That was the first and last thing I was going to say to him, he doesn't deserve anything else.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know... I was just calling to check in. He found her phone around the house and I asked him to give me your number. I just want to start things fresh, can we have lunch?"

"You come ANYWHERE near him, and your arrested, do you hear me? You are a grown man. He wants nothing to do with you. He will be filling a restraining order this afternoon. Any last words because you won't see him or speak to him ever again?" TK said moving out of my arms pacing the room.

"I'm sorry about your sister, I didn't know."

I took the phone and hung up. I blocked the number and deleted the texts the same number sent me.

"TK what the hell."

"I know right?? The nerve of his to call you." He said still pacing trying to calm down. I pull him into me holding back my tears. I didn't know how weak I would be the next time I heard his voice but I was slowly breaking and I just need him here with me.

"Thank you so much" I said checking on the so much he rubs my back and kisses me on the cheek.

" You were born strong baby, you can do this, do you want me to stay with you before I go to work?" I nod as he pulls me to the bed laying on my chest.

He wipes my tears as I look down at him, speechless at how passionately he fought for me when I didn't feel like I could fight for myself. I pull him tighter to me and I close my eyes breathing in his hair.   
"Thank you TK"

"Never thank me for loving you papi." I fall asleep thinking of my fighting angel, my strong crazy baby TK.

This would be my first dream with him in it, and I have to say he does come pretty close to the reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babiesss I'm on the way back home from my road trip , thank you to everyone who prayed for me we are safely traveling now.
> 
> My book turns 2 weeks old todayyy ahhhhh!!! We now have 324 reads🥺 I'm so thankful to everyone who has been taking this journey with me, thank you so much.
> 
> Stay strong and safe , but most of all choose to stay , you got this baby.
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph❤️


	20. C/19 Our normal

TK POV:

I have a major headache, I was kind of worried about my visit with the doctor. Besides the fact that she was openly flirting with me in front of my boyfriend , I had to get 2 x-rays done on Sunday and I'm scared of what they might find. I massage my temples as Carlos speaks

"Is she serious?" I don't respond right away the headache coming on to strong for me to speak at first.

"She's always like that, she acts like I'm not gay and like she didn't know you were my boyfriend. We should have made out in front of her , maybe then she'll get the idea." I said taking in slow deep breaths likes Michelle taught me the other day.

" I don't blame her , I would date you too if I was a woman." He winked at me and I just sent a small smile his way laughing.

"Funny I think Michelle told me the same thing about you." I smirked remembering what she whispered to me behind the truck.

*Flashback*

I leave helping the EMT's close the truck when Michelle pulls me behind it.

"What are you and Carlos?"

"Umm I don't really know right now."

"Why don't you know?"

"I think we're dating? But I don't really know." I said avoiding her eyes.

" But you want more, you're just scared?"

I nod my head " Don't break my best friend's heart Strand, or it's you vs me."

I stare at her in shock when we both hear Carlos calling Michelle and we walk opposite ways.

*Flashback ended*

We pull into his house when he asks me a question   
"Go out or door dash?"

"Door dash" I said when I walked into the mud room taking my shoes off and putting my keys in the bowl.

He nods, unlocking his phone and giving it to me. I scroll through my options and decide on Village tavern. I get him the steak and potatoes with asparagus, and I get the gluten free chicken Alfredo. I press order and type in all of the card information, then I cashapp him the money, $42.55.

I walk to the door to get my wallet when his phone rings, he must still be in the bathroom. I don't think anything of it when I answer but I regret answering once I find out who is on the other end.

"Who is this?" I said quietly, moving away from the bathroom so he doesn't hear me.

"This is Tobias , is Carlos around?" Tobias? Why would someone named Tobias be calling him? I dig before answering his question.

"How do you know Carlos?" He pauses , like he was almost hesitating and I smirk, hes one of those commercial men. But how did he get Carlos's number?

"Childhood friend, we used to date when we were younger." I scoff , date my ass.

"How old are you?" I'm just having fun with him at this point , trying to play him at his own game.

"I'm 31, listen I don't mean to intrude but I really do need to talk to Carlos. Is he around?" I roll my eyes not believing this was actually happening. He thought I was stupid.

Out of nowhere I feel his presence behind me and before I know it he's grabbing the phone and putting it on speaker.

"He's here , anything you have to say to him you can say to me" He kisses my cheek and I feel fuzzy inside, I love him.

"Carlos, can we talk?" I look at him waiting for a response and when he doesn't give one I speak for him.

"He'll talk when he's ready, until then you have me. But he is in the room." I cross my arms across my chest thinking I made a mistake. Maybe this really is his childhood friend and I'm being an asshole to him right now. I lean into Carlos for comfort, trying to relax. I don't know any facts yet so what he says next blows my mind.

"Well I called to apologize for what happened when we were kids. I don't know if he told you , whoever you are" Asshole, why would he not tell me? I know everything about him. He really is an ex, and a bitter one too.

"- but me and my friends jumped him on the way to school. I don't regret what I did but I do regret how I did it. I should have beat his ass by myself." I tense realizing this is who Carlos told me about I slowly count to 10 and practice my breathing.

"Anyways I heard about your sister and wanted to call."

"Ok" was all I said Carlos nodding behind me, because what was he trying to do, make amends and get back together with him? Not happening he's mine and he always will be.

"I saw her the night that she died, she was married to my best friend. You all probably didn't recognize him, but he was sent into her life to fuck up yours. He ended up falling in love with the girl and my whole plan went to shit. A few years later , I decided to go to a therapist. And with the help of my therapist, I learned that the reason I hated you was because you made me feel. You made me feel like I would die without you. Every single day without you was pure hell and I just wanted you back. Even if it was you tied up in ropes, I wanted you. When he fell in love with Em-

"Don't call her that." I said, undoing his fist one finger at a time while the asshole just got quiet.

Good.

"Ok, with your sister then I realized that I wanted that with you. So I went to a therapist and I got better. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I didn't know he was a drunk Carlos, I wouldn't have stood by and let him beat her. They moved and we lost connection. He hit me up a year ago and told me the news, said she drowned in the lake swimming."

"He killed her." That was the first that he had said this whole time and I knew at that point I had to be strong for him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know... I was just calling to check in. He found her phone around the house and I asked him to give me your number. I just want to start things fresh, can we have lunch?"

"You come ANYWHERE near him, and you're arrested, do you hear me? You are a grown man. He wants nothing to do with you. He will be filling a restraining order this afternoon. Any last words because you won't see him or speak to him ever again?" I said moving out of his arms pacing the room, I need space.

This asshole had the audacity to sit here and apologize and think all of that past trauma that he caused the love of my life will just disappear? And he wanted to take it a step further, "cAn We HaVe LuNcH" hell no you can't have lunch with him , are you dumb?

I keep pacing when I hear his stupid voice again.

"I'm sorry about your sister, I didn't know."

Carlos took the phone and hung up. I hear the doorbell ringing and I walk to it. I smile at the door dash worker and tip her $10 cash. "Thank you so much" she nods and walks away.

I bring the food into the kitchen table and walk back into the bedroom to check on Carlos.

"TK what the hell?" Sheshhhhh his ex was delusional!

"I know right? The nerve of his to even call you!" I walk around the room when he pulls me into a tight hug

"Thank you so much." I rub his back and kiss him on the cheek trying to transfer my strength to him through this hug, knowing he needs it.

I hold him just as tightly as I speak " You were born strong baby, you can do this, do you want me to stay with you before I go to work?" He just nods and I bring him towards the bed laying on top of him. I take deep breathes and he matches me slowing down his heart rate. I wipe the tears from his eyes as he pulls me closer

"Thank you TK"

I shake my head. "Never thank me for loving you papi." I said with finality and he just closes his eyes. My tired papi.

He falls asleep and I gently get up once I know he is in a deep sleep. I grab his phone off of the bedside table and look for Tobias' number. I find it under the block list making me smile, I love this man. I send the contact to my phone and delete the evidence blocking him again on Carlos's phone.

I get my phone out of the living room then I text my dad "I won't make it in today , at all I'll explain all when I get home I'm sorry." Now on to Tobias.

"This is Carlos, I'm on my second phone. I want to meet you for lunch. Where did you have in mind?"

He responds a few seconds later, damn thirsty??

" Mathews bar, you game?" I threw up at his speech ew.

"Yeah time?" I said trying to learn his slang quickly before he notices it's not Carlos.

"Tonight at 8"

"Bet."

I text Michelle , telling her I need a few officers at Mathews bar at 8 tonight. I'm arresting this bastard one way or another, but Carlos doesn't need to know. He doesn't need any extra stress.

I crawl back into bed and as I do he wakes up. I wipe my eyes faking like I just got up too.

" Are you feeling any better?"

" I always feel better when you're around TK." I smile at him pulling him up slowly, still conscious of his arm.

" come on, foods in the kitchen , it came earlier but I wanted to let you sleep." He nodded pulling me into a hug, "I love you TK Strand"

"Ahhh, I love you too. What can I say, I'm very lovable." I say shrugging and he laughs letting me go.

"Oh I know , and your doctor would agree."

I groan at the mention of her and drop the whole conversation. I hear him laughing behind me while I pull him into the kitchen, putting his food in the microwave.

"Thank you" he says as I hand him his plate ,

"You're welcome" I pass him a fork and knife and heat up my plate.

I sit beside him as we eat in silence. We both hear a noise at the back door and I get up to check, but he puts me back in my seat telling me he'll get it.

"You are recovering Carlos , be reasonable!"

"I'm coming with you!" I get up grabbing a knife when I see a figure at the door.

Carlos runs into his room & I walk slowly to the door. I see a tall man with hazel eyes looking down at me.

"Who are you?" I ask with my hand on the door it has the knife in it and my other hand where he can see it. Just in case he wants to try anything.

"Hi I'm Carlos's neighbors, can I come in? I raise my eyebrow at the man and step aside.

First mistake

He comes in looking around the place , "He has amazing interior design skills, why is he a cop?" The man laughs quietly, I just stay behind him watching his every move. I put the knife up my sleeve without him noticing. We walk into the living room,

" Do you need to talk to him or something?"

"No we've never met. I just thought today would be a good day to meet my neighbor. He's been here for almost 6 years now and we've never spoken a word."

"He's not really the greeting type." The man nods his head smiling and I offer him a glass with tea in it

Second mistake.

I hear Carlos come in from the back door. "Babe , you alright?"

"You're neighbors in the living room"

"No way, there out of town this weekend?" He said with a question in his voice.

I turn around seeing the man smiling on the couch.

"HELP!" I scream

The man breaks the glass on the table, grabbing me and putting it up to my neck. I try to break free but I feel the knife in my sleeve making me relax.

I'm going to be okay, I thought. I see Carlos circle around the corner and I blink twice at him. He relaxes a little , but keeps his gun up pointed at the man behind me.

"Oh Carlos, you look great. How have you been?"   
He paused and looked at me nodding confirming my fears.

This was Tobias.

" Long time no see, I prefer it that way." He responds and I very slowly start to slip the knife out of my sleeve.

Carlos sees me and keeps him talking.

"You said you wanted to do lunch , so I figured we could save each other the hassle and just meet at yours instead?" He smirked and I had to hold back a sigh hearing how confident his voice was. Not knowing it was me who texted him.

"Why are you attacking him though? If we were going to meet?" He asked with his gun still up.

"Well I figured he might find out , so I just came to take care of him before we talk." He shrugged and I closed my eyes counting to 5 quickly before opening them again. You have to sell this I thought, here goes nothing.

"How dare you? I trusted you... I gave you everything I had and you still do this?? With someone who hurt you at that?? Let me go, you can have him. No use in fighting over something that wasn't mine to begin with."

I keep my eyes open the whole time I'm talking so that they can start burning and when I close them one single tear comes out.

YES! perfect I thought.

"I've never been out of the picture baby. I've just been hidden in the background for a long time. Carlos when we met I was too immature to keep you, I want you.No I need you now. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. I can't live anymore of it without you , be mine?"

Carlos nods putting his gun down and walking towards us with his hands out.

He takes the glass off of my neck and I turn around to "grab my jacket off the couch" , I let the knife fall out of my sleeve and stab him in the back of his shoulder, then I grab my phone and call 911.

Grace: 911 what's your emergency?

Grace jts TK, I'm at Carlos's house and we have an intruder. I stabbed him in the back of his shoulder because he was trying to kill me with a piece of broken glass to my neck. Carlos has him in restraints right now. Do you have an ETA?

Grace: Glad y'all are okay, 6 minutes out. Stay safe, both of you now.

Thank you. I hang up and tell Carlos

After I tell Carlos who is flipping Tobias over so that the knife doesn't pierce through the front of his body. I hug him and kiss his face, "Oh my gosh, that was so close!"

He looks at me checking for any scars , " I know you're glad you're safe."

"6 minutes out."

He nods and I sit on the couch rubbing my head. This has only amplified my headache. I rub my temples again. Carlos pulls Tobias up to sit in a chair facing away from us, towards the door. He comes to sit beside me and moves my hands away from my head.

"Let me"

I turn my back to him so he doesn't have to reach in front of me. He slowly puts pressure on the sides of my head, making me lean into his touch. I feel my headache slowly dissolving making me lean even more into him.

We hear the sirens outside and we break apart, but he kisses the side of my neck before helping me up. He grabs Tobias while I just walk ahead of them.

Opening the door we come outside to 4 police cars surrounding Carlos' house and Michelle and her team in the ambulance. I move out of the way letting Carlos give Tobias off , before looking at Michelle. She was slack jawed as she realized who the man was and she stormed over to him. I looked at Carlos shrugging my shoulders , when he took off towards her trying to get to him first. 

"What the hell?" I said looking between the two best friends.

I look and see Michelle got to Tobias first obviously and is cursing him out on the spot. Carlos gets there and I see her fist balled up. I come over and pull Michelle away. She looks at me worried but realizes I'm not hurt. She breaks free and goes towards him again.

I pull Carlos towards me, " she needs this Carlos, just let her say her piece." He sighs, as I wrap my arm around his waist securing him to me.

"How dare you ever step foot near his house or near TK near anyone?? You're a horrible person, the men in jail will love you." She glared at him and then punched him in the face.

She walked to a police car holding her hands out smiling. "I love you C and I love you TK, pick me up at 8?" She said smirking and we nodded in unison.

"Thank you M, I love you too." Carlos says and they share a look before she winks at him.

I hug him, "come on baby, we keep getting interrupted while we're eating. We have a few hours before we need to pick Michelle up. Let's go back into the house."

He nods walking toward the steps and shakes everyone's hand on the way showing his gratitude, they all just say they're happy we're both okay.

I nod in agreement to that and keep walking.

We come into the kitchen and grab our food before going into the bedroom.

"90 day fiancé or All American?"

I look at him, raising my eyebrow, " Do you really have to ask??"

He shakes his head at me putting on All American, we're on the brunch episode with Olivia, we love to watch this show together.

"You ready baby?" I nod giving him a quick peck on the lips before we play the episode.

" I'm glad your safe papi. Sorry I let him in. I didn't know."

"I didn't want to shoot him, he would have just slit your throat without a word. I did the best I could"

"And that was all I needed so thank you"

"Anytime baby"

We sit back and watch our show. I lay on his chest while eating my alfredo. This is our normal and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: hey babies , how are you???
> 
> Checking in to tell you all to love yourselves and be unapologetically you always ❤️
> 
> Keep going you got this baby, I believe in you!
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph


	21. C/20 Breaking point

Carlos POV:

I'm so tired. I can barely stay up after the credits of the show, I see TK snuggled into my side looking very comfortable and I count my lucky stars for this man. God only knows what I would have done without him today.

It's like my body was under some type of spell compelling me to listen to whatever he said. I wasn't going to meet him for lunch though. I would never do that to TK or myself.

I preached about being strong and leaving your abuser, if I had lunch with him that would contradict everything that I stand for. He wasn't going to have that type of power over me, not anymore.

He picks up the remote turning the TV off while I grab the covers , putting it on both of us for some much needed sleep.

*8 hours later *

I wake TK up knowing he has a shift today rubbing his back softly. He blinks up at me his eyes clouded with sleep and I smile at him.

He's beautiful, the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I'm truly blessed to call him mine, he could have anyone he wanted but he choose me.

I move his hair out of his face , softly moving my fingers through the soft brunette strands.

" Morning baby, you okay after yesterday?" He nodded

" I should be asking you, that was so crazy." I nod my head rubbing my eyes.

"I'm a cop I'm used to crazy babe." I raise my arms out stretching with TK still on my chest, he slides down my body and just moans.

"I don't want to get up! Why do I have to be an adult?" I laugh at him , he's like this every morning no matter what time he wakes up.

I kiss his nose and quickly get ready in the bathroom. We switch off , and I go into the closet seeing a yellow bag in the corner , I walk towards it when TK calls my name.

"Papi, ma's on the phone!" I jog towards him to get it. He holds the phone over his head being playful.

I love playful TK. I kiss him and grab my phone at the same time winking.

"CHEATER!!" I put the phone to my ear laughing. Then I hear my ma,

" you better not be cheating on my son-in-law Carlos Javier Reyes!"

I hear TK behind me stifling his laugh and I flip him off in the mirror.

"Hey ma, no I wouldn't do such a thing. He was joking, how are you and papa? Is he healing okay?"

She sighs, " Yes he's doing much better. Ever since TK brought him that fruit bowl that's the only thing he eats for breakfast on weekends now."

"I can bring him more ma, just text me!"

I smile at him calling her ma, I love there relationship. I'm glad they blend well, even my dad is in love with TK. That was the most surprising thing ever to me.

" Would you please this Sunday?"

"Yes ma'am , what time?"

"I'd say around 2:00?"

"Okay, I have to cancel on dinner on Saturday. I have to get an x-ray the next day and they told me not to eat a lot the night before. Next Saturday though?"

"Sure thing honey, listen I love you both stay safe. I heard about a man breaking into your house mijo, please be careful okay?"

Tk gives me a hug and I kiss the top of his hair " Yes ma I will be, we both will. We love you too."

She hangs up and I take out the trash from our plates into the kitchen throwing them away. I need to have a weekend off so I can deep clean my house again. I haven't done one since last week. I try to do one every week, obviously I'm a germ freak.

Since TK has to work today, I'll just do it then. We're both ready to go and I walk him to the door , kissing him goodbye, but not really since I'm driving him to the station.

"I love you papi, you love me?" He said in a baby voice,

"Yes I do, be safe today alright?" He nods hugging me before walking into the station.

I see his dad at the top of the rail and wave at him. He signals me to come in and who am I to refuse?

I walk into the station and up the stairs to his office,

"Why do we only meet under bad circumstances?" He said smiling , I laugh shrugging my shoulders

"All apart of the job sir" he nods still smiling at me.

"We've never officially met I'm Owen Strand TK's-"

"DAD"

"Yeah that" he said smirking at TK in the doorway shocked. I laugh looking between the two, they look just alike.

" Carlos , what are you doing ? Dad what are you doing? I was going to introduce you guys myself." He said raising his eyebrow.

Well well well !

"I took one out of your book." I said smirking at him, he flipped me off while I just winked. His dad sits there enjoying our banter laughing..

"I'm Carlos Reyes, TK's boyfriend?" I ask him and he nods in the doorway shrugging his shoulders.

" Yeah his boyfriend." His dad nods looking at TK who eventually comes and sits down on my lap.

"Dad this is my boyfriend Carlos, you know that already though. So yeah, he's saved my life multiple times and we're in love. Anything else?" He asked looking at me and I shake my head, he summed it up pretty good.

"Alright , I already knew all of this I was just waiting on you."

"Michelle" we both say at the same time and shake our heads.

"Yep" was all he said and speaking of the devil in she comes with papers.

"M" I said and she pales , " Hey C how you doing?" I glare at her while she smiles shyly.

"Can we speak outside?"

"Um I'm kind of busy, later?" I shake my head and she walks outside waiting for me to follow.

I get up hugging TK and kissing him on the cheek, "Love you." I said tiredly

"Love you too." He said letting me go.

"Bye Mr.Strand" I said nodding at him

"Owen" he corrected and I nod.

I walk over to Michelle who went into her office and closed the door. "Hey baby, how've you been?" I ask casually. She looks up "I've been better to say the least. I have a lead on Iris-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I said interrupting her, I'm honestly hurt. She always tells me when she has a lead and we check it out together.

"Your dad got injured, you were injured C, you and TK were on ice. That's too much stress already."

"You're my best friend. You know I'm always here for you, I thought you knew that at least." I said leaning back in the chair.

She looks at me, " I didn't tell you because I knew it was a dead end. I didn't want you to get involved just to watch me get my heart broken again. A dude said he saw someone like her walk in and out of the gas station. But at the time their camera were broken so there was no way for them to really prove she was there."

I grab her hand on the table squeezing her hand ,

" We can get our hearts broken together. You don't have to go through any of that alone."

I process the words knowing I sound like TK and I smile a little at the thought. He's really left a good impact on me.

"I'm sorry, we need to have a drink and catch up!" She said smiling slowly.

" The last time I got drunk at your house, I made out with the captains son on your couch , I think we should do my house this time." I said smiling.

" I heard that!" Owen said and I looked back at the door to see him and TK standing there like they were going to knock.

I look back at Michelle trying to hold in my laugh. I puff my cheeks out like a chipmunk but I can't hold my laughter long. Me and M burst out laughing and TK pushes me, I try to pull it together for him but I can't seem to stop.

"I love you M, you know that. Don't do that stupid shit again." I said turning serious.

Her eyes get glassy, because she knows when I curse it's because something has hurt me deeply. "Love you too C , I won't." I walk around her desk giving her a hug , "Okay" I wipe her tear and give her a tissue.

TK and Owen just stand and watch our interaction , I stand up reaching for my phone.

I see a text message from the Tobias' number and freeze.

"TK, Tobias texted me."

He takes my phone and calls the number not even hesitating.

"Why the fuck are you still texting him?"

We hear static and then he responds,

"I don't care if your in love with him, are you mentally unstable ? You're an abusive asshole who never deserved him in the first place. Why on gods green earth would he even want to be in the same room with you? Oh wait he doesn't ! So why do you keep trying to force your way into his life? Damn like move on, be happy with someone else, or better yet, learn to love yourself then you'll be your own happiness and won't look for it in other people."

I sit in the chair waiting for him for finish knowing not to interrupt him while he's venting.

"I just want to talk to him." He says , now on speaker.

"FUCK YOU TOBIAS!" He said and I smiled at him, my tough baby.

"I know where Iris is." I turn to Michelle , who looks at me shaking her head. I nod my head at her telling her I'm doing it.

TK looks at me and I hold my hand out for the phone. He sighs giving me the phone.

"Where is she Tobias." I say calmly.

"Hmm I like the way you say my name, haven't heard it from your lips in a long time. I can die a happy man now."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP TOBIAS!" TK said and I laughed he was so possessive it's cute.

"Iris, that's the only reason I'm talking to you. What do you know about her disappearance?"

He laughs quietly.

" She used to come to me for drugs, I always sold the best stuff. She came to me a couple of years ago telling me she needed coke. Something about you and Michelle going clubbing? So she had the house to herself."

I roll my eyes at him but I still let him keep talking anyways.

"Once I found out she was connected to you I kept tabs on her and gave her discounted products to give me updates on you."

Weird.

"Little STALKERISH if you ask me" TK said and I grabbed his hand letting him know I was okay. He will always have his defense up when I talked to Tobias, as he should.

"I'm in love with him, would you not stalk him if he broke you heart?" Tobias said. I looked at the phone confused.

"You broke three of my ribs...But I broke your heart? Your full of it Tobias and you know it. You knew I couldn't go to the hospital because of my parents and you still jumped the living SHIT out of me and for what? What did that do? Did it make you feel better? I don't have to deal with this shit, your going to jail."

I'm sick of listening to this creature spew lies making me seem like the bad guy and making himself look like the victim.

" I'm sorry-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP TOBIAS!" TK said as I gave the phone to him.

"He doesn't want to talk to you, we will find Iris ourselves-"

"Give me the phone" Michelle said. We freeze but when she nods we give it to her.

"How dare you EVER speak about my sister? How dare you try to use her as leverage to speak to Carlos? He doesn't want you, when will you stop? He's happy and so am I. We will find my sister without you, you aren't that credible anyways. Have a good life behind bars. I can't believe this is what you used your one call for what a loser." She give the phone to me.

"You all can feel that way, oh and Carlos sorry to hear about your dad. I would hate for the dog to get loose again somehow." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"You touch his parents and your dead meat.Fucking try me Tobias! You take shit to far but you have someone who will take it farther than you. I don't take the high road. Stop fucking playing with me before I snap your neck in two with no regrets! You just don't know when to stop. And you've found your match cause I don't either when it comes to him. And that's a promise Tobias , you so much as look his way and your done for. Jail is better than hearing your voice ever again, leave all of us alone or else asshole."

"Yeah okay." Tobias said being the asshole he is.

"Should I call your friend? The women beater? I spoke with him a few days ago and he said he'd testify against you in court. I also have recorded all of our conversations on the phone so your looking at 35 years to life buddy. Stop fucking playing with me Tobias..I will kill you and go to work the next day like nothing happened. Leave the people we love alone and you'll keep your life." TK said giving me the phone then walking away.

"Love yourself enough to never call me again Tobias. We have nothing left to talk about." I said trying to be nice after TK just ended him.

"Carlos don't hang up yet." Our course he doesn't want me to hang up.

"Okay, I do have something else to tell you. If the love of my life gets locked up before he can kill you I will, with my bare hands. But first I'll kill your bestie the women beater and make you watch. I will be the last thing you both see before you get sent to hell. Please try me Tobias, you will never be safe In this world unless we're both out of it." I said hanging up on him.

I see Owen bringing TK back into the room and I wink at him, "My serial killer, how you doing?"

Even with his red eyes, he was still the most beautiful man I've seen. He climbs into my lap and I rub his back to soothe him.

"Who is this Tobias?" Owen said and I look at M she nods and walks away with him to tell him the modified version but enough so he knows what basically happened to me.

I hear TK sneeze and grab him a tissue.

"Breath baby, how you doing?" I ask calmly.

"I love you Carlos and I meant everything I said. I'm in love with you and nothing can change that. Not even that asshole who almost fucked up your life." I continue rubbing his back and kiss the top of his hair.

"I love you too baby, and I'm glad." He starts leaving small kisses all of my face making me smile.

"You're so cute even with red eyes baby. My serial killer." I said lacing our fingers together.

" Yes, I'm only a serial killer for you." I look up at him and smile, ahhh I'm so whipped.

"That's hot." I said playing with his shirt.

"I know anything I say is hot." He said shrugging while smirking at me.

"Sure sure baby."

He leans his head down kissing up my neck and I wrap my arms tighter around him.

"We're on Michelle's couch again!" I said shocked he wanted to do anything here.

"Live a little?" TK said. He is such a bad sexual influence on me, I almost can't say no to him.

Almost.

" Tyler Kennedy, are you trying to make out with me on Michelle's couch in her office?" I said looking at him.

He smiled down at me unbuttoning the top of my shirt, "Yes I am."

I raise my brow at him but kiss him anyways. We shift positions, as he reached underneath my shirt unbuttoning my jeans.

I unbutton the top of his uniform revealing his white shirt.I start to suck on his neck, making sure I leave a hickey at the base of his neck. It'll be easier to cover than if I left it anywhere else on his neck.

I pull his white shirt underneath his uniform down exposing more skin to my lips, leaving kisses down the top of his chest.

He pushes on my chest and I sit up, he wraps his legs around my waist and pulls my shirt up trialing kisses down my stomach, I put my hands in his hair closing my eyes loving the way his lips feel traveling down my body.

He unzips my jeans and the siren goes off, I look down at him to see a smirk on his face.

"Officer , were you about to let me give you head at my place of work? How naughty!" He said laughing. I pull him up to my height and kiss him.

He breaks away breathless ,

" Be safe tiger, I love you" I help him off of the couch and he leans in for another kiss but I turn him around instead.

"You can't do that I'm in uniform" he said and I smirk ,

"You started it sexiest firefighter in Austin." I walk him to the locker rooms and kiss him goodbye. 

"I'll see you at my house?" He nods and I wave at the team,

"Carlos , hey man how you doing?" Paul ask and I hug him quickly , " I'm a lot better now man, how are you?"

"Same old same ole! Nothing new, we need to go out for a drink or dinner something! I'll text you." I nod and turn leaving the top level.

I hear Owen calling me,

"Carlos dinner at my place , Sunday night ?" I nod

"Time?"

"Ummm 9:30 ish??"

"That'll work , see you then."

"Don't tell TK, please."

I nod my head.

Parents and surprising their kids, I really hope I'm able to keep this from him for Owens sake. I'm not able to hide anything from TK. He always gets me talking, I'll just have to be sneaky.

We'll see how this goes, I thought as I head home to deep clean my house.

This weekend will be very interesting to say the least...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babiesss I'm on my third chapter in one day , go me??
> 
> Dedication?? We know and love her 😂❤️
> 
> Okay anyways , thank you all once again for taking this journey with me, it means the world and beyond to me.
> 
> Find a reason to keep going, find a reason to fight any thoughts of harming yourself, I pray for you all everyday. Praying for your spiritual and mental healing, you are important and the world is a lot bette with you in it, choose to stay, cont;nue🤍✅
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph🤞🏾❤️


	22. C/21 What the hell?

TK POV:

I rushed to put on my uniform , I lost time messing with Carlos but I don't regret it. I still can't believe Tobias, he spent his one call from jail trying to torture Carlos, I'll kill him. I rush to the truck and finish putting my helmet on while I'm sitting down.

"Paul, if your girlfriend had a crazy ex who almost killed her during their childhood would you kill them?"

"No question."

"Judd?"

"No doubt."

"Mateo?"

"Death is too easy," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I like the way you think..." I turn towards him.

"Torture?"

" For a month then finish 'em off" he said like it was what he had for breakfast.

"I can respect it." I nod

"Marjan ?"

"I'm with Mateo, death is the easy way out" she said.

" Great minds think alike maybe we sh-" he never finished his sentence because we pulled into the accident.

We quickly get to work jumping out of the truck to get our hoses.

Somehow a football field caught on fire during a track meet at this high school. We quickly and calmly dismantle the fire on the field. As we're walking away, I hear a little boy crying. I look around for him , when I see him I run to him.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong?" I ask trying to keep him calm.

"I was running to safety when the first started , but I tripped and skinned my arm. My mom wrapped ice in a towel putting it on there, but it still hurts!" I look at his mom, "can he get in the back of the ambulance? We can check him out there."

She shakes her head " We don't have money for that, we don't have health insurance." I nod my head and we come across things like this all the time.

"Come over and I'll settle the bill, yes?" She looks at me shocked. I just nod my head picking up the little boy carefully.

"How will I be able to pay you back?" She asked quickly and I shook my head again, "Ma'am , don't worry about it. This is my job, he's going to be okay. Just try to get insurance in the future okay?" She nods her eyes glassy.

I sit him in the back of the EMT truck and look at Michelle, "He's on me, you have my info?" She nods and takes care of the little boy giving him some medication for the pain and wrapping his arm, then putting it in a sling.

I pick him up to take back to his mom when she stops me, " I put the materials under volunteer. Him and his mom live in a tent a few miles away from here underneath the bridge by my house." I nod at her looking down at the little boy, I'm very protective of him and I've just met him.

I have a huge soft spot for kids, I never thought I'd be able to have them because Alex hated kids. I had given up some of my dreams to accommodate him, but fire fighting was something I would never give up. Not for anyone.

I'm a way, fire fighting was my child.

"Buddy , are you and your mom going to be okay?" He nods. I pulled him closer to my chest as I walked him to his mom. She stood anxiously beside a police car, answering questions. I put the boy down and let him walk to his mom.

She picked him up seeing his sling and being careful, "Thank you so much!" I smile at her giving her Michelle's number, "she can come to you during those hours if you or him are ever hurt free of charge okay? If she isn't working then text me, my numbers on the back. You're a strong boy , you know that?" I say bending to his level. He nods, smiling at me , showing me his 10 teeth, I melt at his little smile. "You have an even stronger mommy, so treat her good okay?" He nods quickly and I smile getting up hugging his mom, "Be safe, don't hesitate to contact me or Michelle."

I jog back to the truck sitting down before we pull off. For some reason I can't get that little boy out of my mind... I decide to talk to Carlos about it, I think he'll understand where I'm coming from. I pull out my phone hearing my ringtone for ma, I answer quickly

"Hey ma , you okay?"

"Yes I'm okay and so is Pablo, I just called to thank you for helping us. We had someone reach out to us from immigration council and we talked to them yesterday. We're approved TK!!!"

I hold my breath as she speaks , and then smile when she's done, "I'm so happy for you Ma, you and pa deserve it. I love you both , have you told Carlos yet?"

" We were hoping you could help with that?"

"Of course , what do you have in mind?"

As she tells me the plan , I tear up a little. He's going to love it. I can't wait to help, " I'll do everything I can to help you both pull this off. I have to go back to work but tell pa I love him and to stay safe."

"We love you too TK, okay bye she said hanging up. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands before getting out the truck.

I walk up to my dad and hug him, "Thank you for always taking care of me and being here for me when I needed you." HeHe hugs me back , "Of course , you okay?" He asked, rubbing my back.

"I'm good , just grateful that's all." He nods and walks away. I pull out my phone and text Carlos

"Hey papi, just texting to tell you I'm missing you right now 🥺.I'm so thankful that you are in my life. I don't know what I would do without you. You've been one of the few constants in my life , and I love you so much for it. Okay bye!🥰"

Ugh love that man. I get back to work heading into the kitchen to grab some grapes, Carlos has been on me about eating more fruits, I told him I would try.

of course , you okay?" He asked, rubbing my back.

"I'm good , just grateful that's all." He nods and walks away. I pull out my phone and text Carlos

"Hey papi, just texting to tell you I'm missing you right now 🥺.I'm so thankful that you are in my life. I don't know what I would do without you. You've been one of the few constants in my life , and I love you so much for it. Okay bye!🥰"

Ugh love that man. I get back to work heading into the kitchen to grab some grapes, Carlos has been on me about eating more fruits, I told him I would try.

Open the drawer with the knives , pulling the cutting board out of the sink. I put my grapes onto it and started cutting them in halves. I cut quickly just in case the siren goes off. Putting them into a container I go to the lounge.

I pull out my phone seeing if Carlos texted me back , but I see a text from ma instead. I open our thread ,

"We got the frames today, everything is set up all you need to do is bring Carlos and the fruit bowl! 😉"

I smile at her text replying " Consider it done 🥰 I'm surprised I was able to keep it from him this long, I hope everything goes as planned!"

I put my phone back in my pocket and slowly eat the grapes, at least it wasn't bananas I thought. That is one fruit I will not eat, it's so gross anything banana flavored is hot garbage!!

I remember good times of my life in New York, yes it was my downfall, but it was my home at one point. I need to visit, maybe I can go with Carlos but convince him not to look for Alex? I have to work at it, this won't be an overnight answer.

The siren goes off pulling me out of my thoughts, we head out into another unknown journey.

Pulling out the hose , I move around the back of the burning building and quickly work in sections of the building putting out the huge flames.

*On the way back to the station*

I lean my head against my seat closing my eyes exhausted from the call when Paul's phone rings. 

"Hey" he says, putting in his headphones. I close my eyes again when I hear him calling my name.

"TK, you got a second?" He said quietly I nod

"It's about Carlos.. he needs to speak to you." I look at him when he mentions Carlos , accepting the phone from him while taking his headphones out.

"Baby?" I hear the worry in his voice making me worry too.

"Yes , are you okay?" I hear his breathing but it's very faint.

"I've been better but listen, I'm going to the hospital to call my parents and tell them to always try to find the positive and they'll know I'm alright. Can I talk to you after you get off of work though? I can't really say any of it over the phone.You have to trust me on this, I'll see you at the hospital, goodbye my love."

And with that he was gone. He hung up in my face and I said less than five words to him. I give the phone back to Paul without a word. He looked at me raising his eyebrow but I shook my head.

" He's going to the hospital, I don't know why but he said he couldn't talk about it over the phone, told me he loved me and then hung up. Did he tell you anything that would give me a clue to what he was talking about?"

Paul sat back thinking for a second before he answered "He told me he was going to meet Emily, then he asked me to hand you the phone. I don't know who Emily is do you?"

I paled putting my hands on both sides of my head, what is he going to do? The only way he could be with Emily is if he.... died. Was he going to kill himself?? I closed my eyes concentrating on slowly down my breathing before the truck came to a halt. I look out the window and see a Hispanic couple in handcuffs being pushed against a wall. Captain gets out the truck and we follow suit.

The team walks towards the couple while the captain pulls the cops off of them talking to them somewhere else. I uncuff them and sit them down on the sidewalk. I knew I had white privilege but I've never seen people being treated like animals like this couple just were.

"I'm extremely sorry about the way you were treated. Is there anything I can get you while the captain talks to the cops?" I say sincerely looking in their eyes. They shake their heads but the man changes his mind.

" Actually, can you grab my phone I need to call our son just in case we don't make it." I blink shocked at his blunt reason and snap into action.

Grabbing the phone he unlocks it and calls there son, putting the phone on speaker.

"Hey mijo, papa and ma were stopped by the police , but we're going to be okay. We love you so much and just in case we have to leave you for a few days, be good for your abuela. Don't give her any trouble treat her three times better than you would treat us, you hear me?"

"Yes papa, te quiero ma" the boy says , he sounds so young, but he sounds numb like he's got this call a few times.

"Te quiero mijo" the woman says and I turn to look at my dad. He nods my way at the biased cops leaving the scene seeing they didn't have a bigot friend since my dad called them out on their shit. What a punk, using a badge to harass people.

"Is there someone who can come pick you up? I can't let you drive yourselves since you were under arrest technically. But if someone can pick you up and they only have safe for one in the car *wink* then you can take your car home." I said hoping I got my point across. They nod at me, the woman hugging me while the man smiled at me with a small smile.

We wait for there ride , as we watch them pull out with both cars and I feel my phone vibrate, I instantly get worried and nervous. Is it Carlos?

I pull it out to see another text from ma but nothing from Carlos. I get worried , should I tell ma and pa?? What if I do and I'm completely wrong with what he is doing? They have their papers so they can go to the hospital to visit him but we wanted him to find out in a better way. I have to tell them. Instead of texting her back I call her.

"Hey ma Carlos called me earlier telling me he was going to the hospital and he wanted me to tell you and pa "always try to find the positive" does that mean anything to you?" I asked calmly but she gasped when I said those words.

"Emily always said that she was huge on mental health and being positive. It was her favorite saying when things were going badly. We're going to the hospital, we have our credentials now, nothing would keep us from seeing him anymore. Can you text me the address?" She said quickly and I agreed with her whole heartedly.

"Yes ma'am I will , I'll see you both at the hospital in 20?"

"Yes you will. Thank you TK"

"Don't thank me I just hope he's okay and doing well right now."

"That will make two of us."

We hang up the phone and I immediately text her the address, I realize were at the station and I clock out then change in the locker room before rushing back out to the hospital to see Carlos. I nod at Paul on the way out and text my dad.

"Carlos is in the hospital, I'll tell you later."

Then I'm in the car driving. I try to follow as many laws as a worried boyfriend would while on the way to the hospital. I end up only breaking a few patting myself on the back.

I check in with the receptionist walking to the front desk.

"Hello I'm looking for Carlos Reyes" she looks at me ,

"Are you family?"

I shake my head "No, but I'm his boyfriend." She nods typing on the computer.

She furrows her brow clicking rapidly for a few seconds before looking at me with a sad look.

"I'm sorry to say but we don't have Carlos Reyes here. You might have the wrong hospital honey." She said calmly. I nod my head pulling my phone out of my pocket to text ma.

"He's not at home TK" was the first thing she said when I picked up the phone I shook my head , they never listened. I said come to the hospital not stop by his house to check.

"Ma why are you at his house?" I asked slowly

"He told us to meet him here but he's not here. His car is though so that's why we came to the house in the first place. Should we leave?"

"Yes ma leave right now that's not Carlos, he hasn't had his phone since 8:00 pm today.

I hear shuffling then I hear the engine of a car.

"Ma are you guys out of the house yet?"

"Yes I am but Pablo is still inside he told me to go out first."

"I'm coming right now. Don't leave but bring the car around the back of his house where it won't be seen. Stay in the car though. "

"Okay."

"Ma please don't get out!" I say stressing the word please.

I hear her exhale and then sigh " I won't promise "

"We're staying on the phone" I say to her but she hangs up before I'm finished.

Great.

I hop in my car speeding this time to his house unapologetically when I see his circular driveway empty. What the hell? I thought his car was here, that's what ma said.

I park in the middle of the circle being cautious and careful. I start moving in the grass out of the camera views knowing how loud they were when the censor caught something.

I get past the two but forget about the camera at the top corner of the door frame and curse quietly when I hear the ding from inside the house.

I pull my key out of my pocket slowly unlocking the door and open it slowly.

I peak my head around the door holding my breath but it all comes out exhaling once when I see what's behind the door.

My heart stops in my chest at the sight..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: hey babies I'm back home now thank you all again for your prayers ❤️
> 
> Praying for you all as well
> 
> Keep going you got this baby, I believe in you so believe in yourself. You will push through anything you put your mind too 🤍🤞🏾
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph


	23. C/22 Blissful hours

TK POV:

"What the hell Carlos?"

I say seeing dinner set up in the kitchen with some candles lit and him holding a bouquet of tulips knowing I hate roses.

"WHY" I say, fanning my face trying to stop it from heating up.

"Why couldn't you just ask me to dinner? You didn't have to do all of that Carlos! I'm going to kill you for making me think you were killed!" I said taking my keys out of the door and closing it. I look around admiring the view he set up in the kitchen.

"I have so much to live for , and plus if you kill me then you'll never know what I made you for dinner."

He said coming towards me with the tulips stretched towards me. My resolve weakens as he gets closer to me. I take the flowers from him , hugging him tightly.

"Don't do that shit again Carlos Javier Reyes. Don't ask how I know your middle name; it's for the best you don't know anyway." I said, smirking at the last part.

He hugs me back, kissing my neck softly, my knees go weak a little bit at his display of affection. He always catches me unawares with small kisses either on my neck or face, it's the little things he does that make me fall harder for him everyday. He holds me upright seeing the effect he has on me smiling.

"I missed you while I was at work, then I text you to which I got no response. I thought nothing of it not until you called Paul saying you needed to talk to me. Then I basically heard hospital and I love you , and out of nowhere you just hang up... I was so stressed out. How dare you make me waste my time dodging the cameras in the front just for you to be in here with flowers waiting for me...I could have just walked in, I looked like a kid ninja out there!"

I looked up at him to see that he's smirking, I realized that he was letting me vent knowing I needed to just let it all out.

"My little ninja warrior" I roll my eyes at him , of course he would find that cute.

"I texted my dad you were in the hospital omg." He smiles knowingly at me while I freak out inside.

Reaching for my phone to text him back, but he takes it out of my hands before I could and puts it into the bowl with our car keys.

"I have everything and everyone handled tonight it is just about you and me okay? No phone and no outside distractions."

I lean into him giving him a kiss going on my toes to reach his soft lips, that's fine with me I just missed him. I nod afterwards pulling away. I take off my shoes and jacket, getting hot because I'm nervous.

This is starting to become a routine.. our routine I thought smiling goofily. He leans down kissing the palm of my hand before lacing our fingers together. He leads us into the kitchen.

I slowly walk up to the table, it looks like the perfect dinner, straight out of the movies. I look at what he made and I'm shocked for the second time tonight.

He speaks through my thoughts making me fall deeper in love with him in the process. "I made us vegan pot pie. You've talked about going vegan for a while now & I just wanted to give you a little taste of the lifestyle. If you don't like it , we can always order pizza or something I don't know I'm rambling at this point... but yes I love you TK and I know things have been kind of hectic between us."

I look at the beautiful pies then I look at the kitchen, he cooked and cleaned all before I got here... when did he have time to come up with this and cook this? I turn around to look at him leaning my head to the side , speechless.

"Thank you. I don't know what words I could say to express how I feel. All I know is that I feel like crying and giving you a thousand kisses. This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me... I always thought I would never be able to experience anything like this.. I felt like I didn't deserve anything like this because I was inferior." I swallow back my tears not wanting to go down this emotional roller coaster. I blink a few times to clear my blurry vision walking towards him.

Carlos POV:

My baby, he's been through so much. I want to be the one to show him different, he deserves everything that I'm going to give him. That asshole ex of his left him with mental scars and those are the hardest to heal. But I'm going to be here for him through it all, even when he doesn't want me to be, he's my life aside from my parents. I watch him try to hold back his tears, he starts blinking a few times then comes towards me. I reach my arms out to hug him knowing that's what he needed right now.

"You deserve everything I'm going to give you and more. Let's eat yes?" I say rubbing his back he nods leaning into my shoulder, I just kiss his cheek and start walking him backwards slowly to the dinner table.

I turn him around pulling his chair out for him before he sits , to which he just smiles at me. I walk to my side of the table and sit as well.

"Okay try it , I don't know what it taste like I was scared to try it before you." I rush out seeing him pick up his fork.

"I'm sure it will taste amazing papi. There's not much you aren't good at." I roll my eyes at his compliment, he's so annoying at times.

"Sure just try it baby."

He nods breaking the crust of the pie and I hold my breath watching him taste it. I don't know what it's supposed to look like or taste like with all the weird ingredients that I used, I kind of just winged it.

He winks at me chewing and I relax leaning back into my chair letting out the breath I was holding cutting into my pie. I raise my eyebrow at him seeing if he actually likes it or if he's just trying to make me feel better.

He seems to really like it, he hasn't spit any of it out yet. I taste mine and I'm shocked at how good it actually taste, it taste just like actual pot pie. I pat myself on the back mentally drinking some of my wine.

"Do you want any? I gave you mineral water but I can always grab you some juice from the fridge or something?" He nods at me wiping his mouth, "I'm fine with this mineral water, thank you again for this Carlos. I appreciate you and everything you do for me."

I wink at him , "Mentally and physically" he said smirking and I laughed.

"TK Strand , you are something else! How was work today baby? Aside from my plan anything interesting on a call?" I need him to feel comfortable telling me things about himself, this is the easiest way to start.

"We had a three story building catch on fire like a match to gasoline. I was exhausted once we were done , then I got your call. Perfect timing wouldn't you say?" He said shaking his head laughing quietly.

" I'm sorry for adding onto your stress , but I hope I made it up with my pot pie?" He nodded happily,

"Yes thank you so much. I have to slowly start taking things out of my diet so I can go fully vegan. For now , thank you for supporting my decision, you could have easily made spaghetti or something but you went out of your way to make this for me. Thank you again Carlos."

I smile at him getting up to clear away our dishes from the table. I grab my plate then grab his walking them to the sink placing them neatly in the first one.

He comes up behind me sitting on the counter waiting for me to finish.

"When did you have the time to do all of this papi?"

I grab the dish soap washing the plates as I answer

"I did it when I basically sent you on a treasure hunt to find me. Everyone was in on my plan to surprise you, even your dad. I knew you would text him and I didn't want him to worry-"

"So fuck my worrying right?" He said glaring at me. I laugh at his expression then give him a kiss on the cheek.

"No baby, you worrying matters too" He gets off the counter to rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher to try.

"When I called Paul I was at the store getting the ingredients, when ma texted you I was back home cleaning then when you called ma I was setting up the table. By the time you got here, I had picked the tulips and had everything ready. I was just waiting for you to get here. You did in record timing by the way, an impressive 8 minutes." I said, smirking at him. He grabs my waist kissing me, "I'm just glad your safe, like what the hell Carlos? I was breaking so many laws getting here and to the hospital, I could have been arrested!"

"I would have got you out though baby, you wouldn't have stayed long." I said giving him my best baby face, he always gives in.

"I love you Carlos" I smile at him , I know. I don't say that out loud though.

"I love you too!" I pick him up off of the counter placing him back on his feet. He's so small, my tiny baby.

"I'm going to get ma, she had me convinced! Has she ever thought about acting? She's good, I see where you get it from." I nod smiling at him, oh this man my man.

I walk him into the living room, grabbing the speaker remote to put on some music, I need him to stop worrying and take his mind off of the stress from earlier tonight.

I put the remote down grabbing his waist hearing the music softly playing. I put his hands around my neck while mine rested on his shoulder.

"Relax baby, everything happens for a reason. I'm here now and that's all that matters."

Leaning his head on my shoulder we sway side to side. Enjoying each other's company, we forget about the outside world and are happy to be in each other's arms. I lift him up spinning him around like a kid before slowly putting him back on his feet again.

I lean down kissing his lips softly but I pull away to look at him, he's wearing a yellow long sleeve shirt and black jeans. This must be his back up outfit from the station knowing he didn't go back home before he got here. Then I see a mark on his arm.

"What's wrong?" I ask quietly. We're still holding each other close so I know he hears me. He doesn't say anything.

"What's that mark on your arm TK?" He pulls away from me wrapping his arms around himself. Like he was protecting himself from something.

What is he doing?

I reach out to him so I can hold him again but he just steps back. I cross my arms over my chest seeing as he doesn't want me to touch him and then back away.

"You haven't answered my question. What's the mark on your arm?" He looks at the ground unmoving. Then I hear it...

"I had to do something to cope with the stress." He said quietly, so quietly I had to ask him to repeat the last part of it.

"What did you do?" I ask trying to be calm so he doesn't close in on himself and not tell me anything.

"I pressed my car keys into my arm until I drew blood dragging them horizontally across my skin."

"Why?" I asked, speechless. There are other things you can do when you're stressed instead of harming yourself..

" I got bullied growing up and cutting always helped. That was until I started using in high school so I stopped cutting. It was either use or cut, I chose the one that doesn't make me take three days off of work."

He said shrugging like it was nothing. Like he didn't just admit to hurting himself when he was stressed out. He's a firefighter lord knows how many times he used before he came to Austin. Before he had me.

I sit down on the couch forming fists and then undoing them repeatedly. The thought of him being mistreated makes me want to punch something or someone. I've been good about keeping my anger under control but this is something I don't know if I'll be able to handle.

"Why wouldn't you tell me? You're a firefighter and you are under stress everyday! Why haven't I seen any other cuts on your arm before?" He gives me a sympathetic look pulling his sleeve down.

"Because I haven't been cutting... I just slipped up tonight. I didn't think you would see I'm sorry, can we please just not ruin this? Can we talk about this in the morning and live in this bliss for a few more hours?"

I look at him twisting his bracelet as he spoke occasionally pulling on his sleeve too. I could hear the pleading in his voice , it made my heart break for the little boy who was mistreated and the young man who had to go through so much in his early years. He didn't deserve any of that , but then again who does deserve what they get in life? No one.

I look at him , his eyes glassy and the slight tremble of his hands twisting his bracelet.

"Please Carlos?" I nod reluctantly, dropping the situation and get up from the couch.

"I love you. All of you, we will talk about this in the morning." I say rubbing the cut on his arm that he was trying to cover with his sleeve.

"But this is unacceptable. You are better than this TK. You're a fighter, you've been fighting all of your life so don't stop now. You're past doesn't define you, you are worth more than this." I say pointing to the cut.

He nods at me turning around to walk into the room before I stop him again.

"Come here." He turns around looking at me with questioning eyes and I just nod stretching my arms out towards him. He runs into my arms crying into my chest while I just rub his back slowly up and down.

"I'm so sorry Carlos , I didn't know what else to do. I choose the best option that I know. I never meant to disappoint you. I'll get help. I promise I just don't want to lose you. You have a right to be disgusted with me. I just needed to do something to release some of the stress that I was feeling-"

His voice cracks over every other word making me rock him side to side. The movement hopefully gets more air into his lungs so he can breathe calmly again. I kiss the top of his head blinking back my own tears knowing I have to be strong for him at this moment. It's the least I can do since I caused him to cut himself because of my plan.

Leaning his head back, kissing his lips slowly helped him calm down. I pulled away wiping his tears , but they kept coming back before I was able to dry them.

"I want you to close your eyes and focus on your breathing baby. I need to keep you here with me and to do that you have to calm down okay?" He looks at the ceiling then closes his eyes sending another set of fresh tears down his beautifully flushed face.

I wipe them again and count out loud for him so he has something to focus on instead of his own thoughts. But he starts fidgeting and his breathing becomes worse than before , like something is cutting him from the inside out.

He grabs onto my arm roughly , his nails cutting into the skin on my arm but I don't care. I just try to get him to open his eyes and look at me hoping that him seeing me will calm him down. Whatever he was thinking about was winning because he started whimpering in my arms before his legs gave out. He would have fallen to the ground if my arms weren't around his waist holding him up.

"Shit. TK baby? I need you to open your eyes for me okay? I'm here I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt you, just come back to me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong, alright? Open your eyes baby. I love you and I'm not leaving, I just want to make sure you're okay. You're the love of my life and I could never leave you , open your eyes." I said getting nervous he would try to hurt himself again if he tried to leave.

"Carlos, please.. I can't-" he starts violently coughing rolling out of my arms but I grab him again holding him again tighter this time.

"You can't, what baby?"

"I ......can't ........breathe...... please .......help ......me!" He said taking three breaths between each word. I quickly sit his upper body up rubbing his back trying to get more air to his lungs once again. He slowly starts to decelerate his breathing and I relax a little but not too much still worried something will happen to him.

He suddenly grabs the front of my shirt pulling me to him and kisses me, wrapping his arms around my neck. I feel his hands in my hair at the back of my head. I start to kiss him back forgetting our current situation but my common sense kicks in making me pull away.

"TK I don't think this is the best wa-" the heartbroken look that comes across his face makes me stop speaking. He lets go of my shirt rubbing his face , I can see that he's crying again because his nose is red and so are his cheeks.

"TK-"

"No I get it, really I do." He said getting up and sitting on the couch across from me. I look at him confused , what is he talking about?

"What do you get TK?" I ask quietly nervously for his answer, I don't know what I did but something just changed in him instantly.

"You don't want to kiss an addict. And you definitely don't want to kiss someone who harms themselves to feel better, I get it I'm just not used to you pulling away from me like that, that's all." He said as he took his shirt off.

"What are you talking about? I just want you TK I don't care what happened in your past. I pulled away from you because I don't think that is the best way to get you through this.." he puts his shirt on the couch walking into the bedroom once I'm done speaking.

"Are you okay Carlos? Is there anything I can get you before I get in the shower?" I shake my head at him, what is going on? I'm so confused. He looks defeated but he's saying smart remarks!

"I'm coming with you." I stood up grabbing his shirt off the couch and walking past his shocked body into the room. I put his shirt in the dirty clothes basket inside my closet and walked into the bathroom. I turn the water on medium heat and walk back out into the room.

"TK, is it a problem that I'm joining you? I can shower after you." I said prompting him to say what's really on his mind right now, but he just silently shakes his head.

Oh this man, my beautiful bruised baby. I won't let you pick at your wounds , I'm here to help you heal them.

I walk up to him grabbing his bruised arm kissing the cut at the top of his wrist. "Come into the shower with me?" He nods sniffling quietly walking into the room.

I unbutton his pants pulling them down with his boxers while he holds onto my shoulders to keep his balance.   
He's still sniffling above me and I just kiss his stomach softly , "it's okay baby." I hear him take in a breath before sniffling again.

I carry his naked body into the shower checking the temperature, and then I put him in. He holds onto my arms not wanting me to leave him.

" I still have to take my clothes off baby. I'm right here." I say before slowly unwrapping his hands from my body. He looks at me and let's go trusting me. I step back from the shower walking to the room and putting his clothes in the basket with his shirt. I come back into the bathroom seeing the foggy glass shower. Quickly taking my pants and boxers off , I open the door just enough for me to get in.

"Are you okay?" I ask him and he just hugs me not saying a word.

I pull us both under the water , turning so it doesn't hit his face making sure he's comfortable, I sit him down in the seat in the corner of my shower and grab my body wash.

He stood up standing under the water , seeing his body under my shower head drenched made me forget everything that happened a few minutes ago.

I rub my hands through his drenched hair loving every part of his body on display for me. I pick him up by his waist kissing the top of his chest. He moans quietly, wrapping his legs around my waist.

"I love you Carlos"

I look at him, his beautiful eyes accenting his whole face, I hold his face in my hands caressing his cheeks gently. I can feel myself slowly losing control, I pin his body against the wall pushing his head up meeting my lips for a punishing kiss.

I kissed him for all of the pain he's caused me, the people around him and himself. I kissed him because I love him too much, I don't know what I would do without him. I kissed him because he looks so fucking edible, every time I see him my body reacts.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He ask after breaking the kiss, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked at him longer loving the way he blushed under my gaze.

"Kiss me Carlos." He whispered, causing my desire for him to rise ten notches.

I kissed him bringing one of my hands up his body to grab his neck softly but enough to where he feels pressure right where I need him too. He just moans into the kiss causing me to press his body harder into the tile of the shower.

I wrap my hands under this arms moving our bodies under the continuous spray of water from the shower head. I break the kiss running out of air, as he wraps his hands around my shoulders.

"Will you regret this in the morning? If we do have sex tonight?" He asked me leaning back into the tile, my hands on his hips holding him up.

I take a second to think about his question, I won't as long as I know he won't.

"All of this is up to you, I'll stop if you want me too. I won't regret this in the morning as long as I know it's what you want." I say drawing patterns on his hips as I wait for his answer.

"I want you Carlos" I put him down bringing him by his throat closer to me,

" Do you want me to fuck you here or in the bed?" I say my voice lowering a few octaves.

His eyes darken at my words , his beautiful mouth open slightly open , I put my finger in his mouth to fill the space.

"Baby, here or the bed?" I get closer to his face whispering this time.

"I-I don't ca-care"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: hey babies sorry about the late upload 
> 
> I want you here so keep going baby. You got this❤️
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph


	24. C/23 Gentle love

TK POV:

"I-I don't ca-care" I said, blushing at how much I stuttered when I was nervous. He put his hand on my chin playing with my bottom lip, making me hot all over.

"Hmm, is that so?" He said in that delicious voice. Ugh he was so hot.

This man has my naked body pressed into his with the shower tile behind me.

Cold and hot.

When he put me back down on my feet he had to hold me up. After asking that question my legs almost gave out at how hot he sounded.

He turned me towards the shower head and began washing my body from top to bottom. He made sure to pay extra attention to my ass and my semi-hard erection.

I just leaned back into him letting him feel whatever he wanted on my body. Everything I am belongs to him. He was my one, through and through.

I raise my arms , connecting them above my head to bring them together behind his head. Our height difference makes it easier for him to wash the front of my body when I position myself like this.

I feel his soapy hands running along the curves of my body, and I moan softly needing more.

I want him.

He massages my sides kissing down my neck slowly at the same time making me melt into him even further. I push my ass back on his dick making him bite my ear softly. But the slight bit of pain goes straight to my shaft involuntarily.

I pull the shower head off and rinse my body, ready to get out of the shower and away from his teasing. I need him more than he'll ever know right now.

I wish he was my first.. it would have saved me a lot of pain knowing that he would have been gentle with me.

*Flashback*

"You mean you've never??"

I shake my head at him. He nods, taking his pants off quickly,

"Well how do you think you would like it?"

I looked at him, questioning my eyes.

"Alex I've never done anything, how am I supposed to know what I like?"

He rubs his face not knowing what to say before shrugging it off. He slowly gets on top of my body conscious of how small I am compared to him.

"Relax and just take it, it'll hurt the first time but after this it won't anymore."

I nod at him closing my eyes when I feel him at my entrance.

I feel his weight on me, it felt like I was slowly suffocating as he ripped me apart. I covered my mouth trying not to cry out from the pain, knowing he wouldn't like that.

He starts going faster and I keep my eyes closed trying to focus on something other than the pain he's causing my body.

He finishes kissing me on the cheek before climbing off of me laying down on the bed beside me.

When he went to sleep though, I got up and went to the bathroom to look at myself. I saw hand prints on my hips making me cringe. Good thing they won't see those at work, dad would skin me alive if he thought Alex was abusing me.

Little did I know..

I get into the shower slowly since my body aches everywhere. Why do people have sex if it hurts this much? I could never feel like this everyday.

I slowly wash whatever remains of Alex off of me before getting ready for work. I dry off walking back into the room with my towel on, seeing the bed empty I hurry into the closet getting dressed. I don't want Alex getting the wrong idea with me in a towel, I do not want round two of whatever he called that last night.

I walk into the kitchen now that I'm dressed seeing that he already left.

I exhale a breath of relief seeing as I won't have to face him until later tonight.

I make quick work of finding my keys and I head off to the station. At least they'll make me feel better.

*End of flashback*

I snap back into reality feeling Carlos massaging my shoulders with the body wash, I realize I was rinsing myself off because I wanted to get out the shower before the flashback hit me.

That was arguably one of the worst nights of my life, I don't know if I'm ready to feel that again. Maybe Carlos won't be so rough? I don't know, I just really hope this works out, I don't want to have to stop him mid stride and tell him I'm not ready.

I know he wouldn't make me feel bad about it, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't still feel bad about It.

I lean down, rinsing my legs off , once again rubbing my ass against his dick. But this time he thrust into me , causing me to moan his name making him grab my hips.

"Don't tempt me baby, I'll give you what you want when you need it." He spoke softly into my ear, his warm breath mixed with his hands rubbing on my body made me wet.

I nod at his words putting the shower head back on the stand. I turn around in his arms looking up at him, I know my eyes are lidded with lust because I can see the same look just more controlled in his.

"I need you Carlos."

His eyes flare at my confession, as he brings his lips close to mine.I close my eyes expecting one of his body aching kisses but open them again when I realize I won't be getting one.

"You're going to go in the room and sit on the bed facing the tv with your legs open, got it?"

My body gets heated as he speaks. I love how dominant he's being right now. I hold my breath nodding at him.

He kisses me, pinning me against the shower again , but this time he puts my hands above my head holding them in one of his hands. The other gripping my throat, the feeling of him having full control of my body is so hot. My eyes roll into the back of my head as he sucks on my tongue, I moan into his mouth before I have to pull away.

He puts his face in my neck, nuzzling me with his nose, I shiver at the contact. As he pulls away, he turns our bodies around opening the glass shower door. I step out of it with legs that feel like jello after that kiss. As I'm leaving I hear him calling my name,

"Baby?"

"Yes?"

"Nice ass" he smirked.

"Hmmm thank you" I walked out into the room sitting on the bed, doing what he told me to do. My palms start to get sweaty, I'm nervous.

What is he going to do to me? Am I actually ready to have sex with him? I start to sweat thinking of all the scenarios of me telling him to stop. Omg I'm going to embarrass myself in front of this man.

I start to think. An escape route?

Yes , my clothes aren't in here but if I go to his closet he'll see me in the mirror from the bathroom. The only way out his house without running past the cameras is through the attic.

Hell no.

I close my eyes laying back on the bed, sending a silent prayer to the sky hoping I can please this man, as much as he has already pleased me.

I hear the soft click of the closet door sealing my fate. I open my eyes sitting up to look at him. This is the love of my life, I know he wouldn't hurt me intentionally. I try to relax as he climbs on top of me, feeling the bed dip underneath me I take a deep calming breath wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

"You okay baby? We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

He says, moving my hair away from my face softly, his other hand wrapped under me resting on my waist. I nod at him wrapping my legs around his waist above me.

"I'm okay Carlos,truthfully it's just my nerves getting the better of me. I know you wouldn't hurt me intentionally, I trust you."

He gives me a soft look before leaning down to kiss my lips.

I pull myself closer to him wanting to feel some of his weight on top of me. He puts both of his hands on my waist squeezing slightly , making me lift my hips in want. He spreads my legs more, before he gets between my legs pressing all of himself into me. I stop the kiss to look at him,

"Carlos..."

He doesn't say anything back to me, he puts his face in my neck leaving small soft kisses behind, it's like my senses are heightened. I feel every kiss all over my body. I push my hips up as an invitation to him, but he grabs my waist stopping me from doing it again. I groan in frustration , why does he keep teasing me? I don't know how long I'm going to be able to do this..

He sits up looking down at me , I prop myself up on my elbows still laying but I don't have to strain my neck to stare at him in this position.

I start to get hot , he's looking at me with darkened brown eyes and I swear my heart stopped for a second when he started kissing down my chest.

My breathing accelerates becoming uneven, while I look at him as his head gets lower and lower down my body. I run my hands down his back, softly caressing his beautiful soft skin. Appreciating how smooth it is under my fingertips, he reaches my waistline kissing there and then pausing. I lean my head back loving the feel of his kisses on my body, closing my eyes moaning softly.

He puts his hands palm down on the inside of my thighs spreading them wider once again, I hold my breath. He slides his hands down my legs grabbing one at a time starting from my ankles kissing his way up, softly. I bite my lip putting my hands in his hair when he gets to my thighs, nipping at the smooth skin there making my legs tremble slightly as he keeps going higher.

He starts at the top of my shaft, slowly kissing his way down. On the way back up he makes his tongue flat tracing the veins on dick.

I dig my hands deeper into his hair until I feel his scalp, as he deep throats my shaft now, moving it in and out of his mouth slowly. I pull his hair needing more friction causing him to quicken the pace. I moan, holding onto his shoulders when he moans on my dick the vibrations making my back arch off of the bed, pushing me deeper into his mouth.

My eyes roll to the back of my head, I lean my head up looking at him as my stomach tightens knowing I'm close. He slowed down, making me groan out loud as he took me out of his mouth with a pop. I see him kiss the head before kissing up my body once again.

I have my head on the bed with my eyes closed, my legs are trembling from being brought to the edge and then denied. I could kill him right now, I open my eyes to see his beautiful face smirking down at me.

"Okay?" I look at him with a small smile, he's so caring.

"Okay." I say hugging him.

Carlos POV:

I rub his back as he hugs me, I reach lower touching the top of his ass. He lets me go as I move his body closer to mine. Sitting him up , I lean his head back cupping his neck and I stare at his beautiful body,that's all mine.

I slide his body towards the headboard reaching beside the bed on the table to get the lube. He still has his eyes closed , I just kiss him deeply while opening the bottle getting between his legs once again. The feeling of his soft thighs rubbing against my dick makes kissing him even harder, my tongue taking control of the kiss. I turn the bottle upside down drenching my fingers in the liquid to prepare him for my dick.

He moans into my mouth as I insert one finger into him slowly to cause the least amount of pain that I can. He starts moving his hips in time with my finger , so I insert another one into him. My hand is moving upside down inside of him , with my middle and index finger almost second knuckle deep into his ass.

I bend my fingers in his body feeling for his prostate, I stretch them inside him slowly, so I don't hurt him when I hit it. He moans his legs trembling as I hit it every other stroke.

I add the third finger to his body, mine heating at the sounds he's making. I slowly stroke his shaft to the same rhythm as my fingers making him grab onto my shoulders pulling my to him, moaning into my neck. His warm breath caused my already heated skin to burn. I bite his ear softly pulling on it in the process driving him crazy. I pull away from him getting between his legs as I slow down the pace of my fingers in his body. I look at him, this beautiful man I get to call mine.

"Are you okay with this?" I ask to make sure that he was okay with everything that we were doing tonight. I would never pressure him into anything he didn't want to do. His darkened gaze gave me my answer but I still needed to hear him verbally say it.

"Yes, make me yours papi."

He says softly wrapping his hands around my forearms, I lean down kissing him as I aligned my shaft to his entrance. I slowly put the head into his body inch by inch until he tells me to stop. I'm sitting balls deep in him now, peppering his face with kisses as I stay still to let his body adjust the intrusion.

His hands grip my waist guiding me in and out of him slowly, I lean down kissing his neck as he pulls me deeper into his body. He moans into my hair moving his hands into it. I change the rhythm , going faster than he was before slowing down again. I look at him , even though his eyes are closed , his mouth is open as he moans, his hands have my head locked between them, limiting my movement a little. I put his hands on my chest , as I slowly went deeper into him. I groaned into his hair while he dug his nails into my chest , pain and pleasure go hand in hand.

He puts his hands on my waist again, thrusting all of my shaft into him as he pushes his hips up at the same time. I close my eyes as he kisses the top of my chest where he scratched me earlier. His cold lips against my heated skin causing me to moan loudly into his ear.

I lower my body to his pushing myself harder into him, knocking the breath out of him as he claws at my shoulders needing something to hold onto. I sit up wrapping his legs behind me as I thrust deeply into him quickly, his uneven breathing making him tighter around me as I go deeper into him, shifting my weight on top of him kissing behind his ear.

"Carlos please, I can't..." he said before moaning into my neck, grabbing his waist pushing his hips in time to meet my thrust creating an inexplicably good friction between the two of us causing him to release onto my abdomen.

I put his waist down, putting one of my hands on his neck squeezing lightly , just how he likes. I looked down at his glazed over eyes, pushing into him one last time before I came inside of his beautiful body. I kissed him as I came, his body slightly shaking as I pulled out of him gently.

I walked into the bathroom taking off the condom and throwing it in the trash, getting a washcloth and running cold water on it, wiping myself off. I repeat the action with a different cloth walking into the bedroom and wiping off TK. He has his face between the pillows snoring softly, I move his hair out of his face kissing his cheek softly.

I walk both to my closet opening the door to throw them in the basket before getting into bed with him. I reposition his body so that he's laying on top of me , my arm wrapped securely around his waist, keeping him close to me as I fall asleep to the feel of his heartbeat on my chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys so sorry about the super late upload this chapter kicked my ass
> 
> I love you and god loves you. I'm praying for you all , choose to stay. You got this baby, keep going.
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph


	25. C/24 Not to be rude...

TK POV:

I wrap my hand tighter around the cover trying to prevent it from sliding any lower down my body. The cold air hitting me like a whip, I turn on my back but something around my waist stops me. I open my eyes realizing I'm on Carlos's naked chest. He's so warm I thought, I lean my head down kissing the middle of his chest softly.

"I love you" I whispered into his chest quietly.

I rub my face softly on his skin before looking at his face, I blush and realize he was awake the whole time looking down at me. He winks at me running his hands through my hair. I close my eyes, leaning into his hand briefly.

"We need to get up, but I feel like this bed has me tied down to it." He says groaning and I nod in agreement. His bed is so comfortable and it's memory foam attached to your every movement.

"I love you too by the way." I covered my face with my hands still embarrassed he heard and saw me.

His phone vibrates on the table but neither of us move.

"You want to get that?" He shakes his head rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Nothing important enough that it can't wait an hour or two." I just yawn covering my mouth.

He starts to stretch causing my head to slide off of his chest, so I get up to stretch too, not wanting to lay down without being on him.

I spread my legs out stretching when my phone vibrates, I look behind me at Carlos , but he's in the bathroom. I get up trying not to trip over the long sheets he has on his bed forgetting about my phone.

I wrap one of the sheets around my waist making a bow as I walk into the bathroom turning on the shower. Carlos obviously didn't think that far since he stood beside me naked brushing his teeth.

I roll my eyes at him as I walk past turning the shower all the way to the cold side. He wraps his arms around my waist when I step out of the shower door kissing me on the back of my neck.

"Shower with me?" I asked turning around in his arms to look at him as he smiles.

"Wish I could, but I have to speak with my dad in..."

he checks his watch briefly,

" 30 minutes and you take long showers so I'm going to decline.... politely though baby." he said kissing my cheek this time , walking back into the room.

"I love you Carlos." I said smiling to myself in the mirror, "I love you too baby. I'm heading out , lock up when you leave for me please?" I nod but realizing he can't see me respond.

"Yes, be safe bye"

"Bye baby."

Then I heard the door close, knowing I was alone I went back into the room putting the bed sheet back onto the bed walking back into the bathroom naked this time. I look at my body in the mirror for a second.

The vanity mirror cuts off at my waist , but he has a full mirror in the corner by the shower , so I walk over to it instead. I think back to the condition my body was in after Alex, and compare it to now.

No marks on my hips, but I do have a hickey at the base of my neck AGAIN. I told Carlos, no hickey's where the team or my dad will be able to see them. But then again ,I don't have the willpower to tell him to stop when he's giving it to me.

A small smile comes across my face seeing that I'm literally glowing.

Whether it's my lifestyle and environment changes or if it was Carlos but either way, I am not mad at it. I go into the shower , singing Sam Smith like my life depended on it.

He knows how to bring the best out of me, including the hurt side of me. His whole album helped me get through tough times with Alex. I swear he kept me sane during that whirlwind of a "relationship" , I can't even really call it that.

He was an asshole.

I step out carefully after I'm done in the shower remembering the time I slipped when Carlos was here, not trying to relive that memory.

I hear a clicking sound and I look into the vanity mirror to see who it is through the hallway.

It stops abruptly though and I quickly dry off, grabbing the lotion off the counter putting some on my legs before his bedroom door opens. I don't turn around thinking it's just Carlos , I mean he's already seen my ass and more before.

But I'm terribly wrong, per usual.

I hear the clicking again wrapping a towel around my waist going out into the bedroom to see what he wanted but I grip my towel tighter when I see ma going through the drawers.

She's wearing 5 inch heels with a lavender flowing skirt and a black deep cut crop top to bring the whole outfit together. She looks gorgeous, but when doesn't she? I thought of clearing my throat so she can stop going through the drawers and let me get dressed.

She only looks up smiling at me though before going back to opening the drawers.

"Hey TK , I saw your car outside but I just needed to get the yellow bag out of here. Where is it again?" she asked casually like I'm not in the doorway clutching my towel because I'm naked.

"Um I'll get it, can you wait in the living room though please?" I said trying not to sound rude and urgent. She leans her head to the side but smiles anyways going into the living room to wait for me.

I breathe when she leaves feeling a fraction more comfortable but not that much since she's still in the house and not that far away at that.

I go into the closet grabbing some white washed ripped jeans out of the closet and a cream tee-shirt. I make sure I go to the back of the closet to grab the bag , not wanting to waste ma's trip here.

I walk into the living room sitting down on the couch not seeing ma. She's probably in the bathroom I thought, so I just waited. She comes around the corner with her shoes in her hands, one heel is broken and the other has blood on it. I don't see the blood until she sits down on the couch next to me though.

I look at her heels before speaking, "Ma , what the he- sorry heck happened to your heels?" She smirked at me, putting her head down laughing at me. I stare at her in shock what the hell? Is she on something, what drug makes you laugh about murder? I stand up going to the backdoor to see if I can find a dead body but she stops me before I get past the kitchen.

"Snake berries." she said pointing to the heel with "blood" on it the broken one in her other hand. "This is from my car, it's a spare pair I keep with me just in case I need to defend myself." She said shrugging like I didn't think she was murdered a few minutes ago.

I put my hand on my head taking in slow and deep breaths to try and lower my heart rate. I go to sit back on the couch in the living room picking up the yellow bag off of the kitchen on the way. When she comes towards me to sit as well, I hand her the bag, leaning back into the comfortable loveseat I convinced him to buy to finish his furniture set in the living room.

Ma pulls the papers out of the envelope that they came in, looking them over before putting them back into the fancy envelope with four gold stickers on the front. She looks at me with glassy eyes and I get up to go sit beside her, but she gets up halting my movements.

I look down at her , before she hugs me smiling into my shoulder. I hug her back tight as she is hugging me before rubbing her back. I hear her soft cries and I pat her back , just trying to be here for her during this amazing time. She stops , pulling away from me to give me a kiss on my cheek. I wasn't expecting it, so I started blushing from the sudden show of affection. She and Carlos do things like that a lot.

Like a mother , like a son, I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing okay! 
> 
> find a reason to stay , because I want here with me.
> 
> I love you deep
> 
> -xo. Steph


	26. C/25 No just no.

TK POV:

I grab ma a tissue and she pats under her eyes, though somehow her makeup didn't mess up anywhere. She fans her face trying to dry her eyelashes , the mascara is the only thing that smudged a little under her eyes.

Then she throws a pillow at me, catching me by surprise once again today. I throw one back at her softly as she smiles at me. 

She winks at me standing up, she's so small I thought. Even with her heels on I was taller than her.

She kissed my cheek once again as I walked her back to her car. I grab her hand , helping her down the steps since she's barefoot. 

This woman is crazy, and I know i'll love her forever even if me and Carlos aren't.

She puts her seat belt on when we both hear the gravel on the driveway flying. We both look back trying to see who it was. I saw the taxi and got confused, why would a taxi be here? He didn't tell me about any family visiting? 

OMG, my hair gel is in the guest bathroom , I smile at ma as she circles around the driveway leaving. 

I turn around walking back into the house hoping that whoever it was will realize that they had the wrong address without having to speak to me.

But I stop in my tracks right where I am when I hear that familiar voice say my name.

"Tyler? Is that you?" He asked, sounding like the utter essence of an idiot that he is.

My mind has to be playing tricks on me, he did not come here all the way from New York to harass me again! 7 years of my life, I wasted on this man. He took my virginity, he was my first and for what? For him to be cheating on me the last year that we were together.

No we had nothing to talk about and he had no business being here.

"Leave Alex." I said turning to face him, as I spoke the taxi pulled out of the driveway making me walk closer to the steps knowing there were camera's up there just in case he tries anything, Carlos will be able to see it and report it to the police.

"Your friends at the fire station back home told me you and your dad came here. Why?" he asked like he didn't know the only reason I would leave New York without him.

"Why do you think?" I asked sarcastically, glaring at him. He raises his eyebrow coming closer to me but I just back up closer to the steps getting closer and closer to the camera.

"I thought about how we ended things and I didn't want to leave them like that. I came here to check on you. I know you can't live life without me and you have for almost a year now, I wanted to check on you earlier but I didn't think it was my place." he said shrugging , I scoffed at him laughing slightly.

"I wOuLd HaVe CoMe To ChEcK oN yOu EaRlIeR... please Alex. You were never going to come and check on me. So , now that we got the bullshit out of the way what are you really here for?" I said making a straight face at him.

He steps away from me shocked, I know asshole I found my voice here and you aren't going to take that away from me I thought as I watched his reaction to my words.

"I want you TK, I know we've had our ups and downs but we are 7 years in the making baby! Every couple goes through things when they have been together for that amount of time. I want the best for you and what's better for you than me Tyler? We are the dream team remember? The badass lawyer and his assistant firefighter."

I cringe when he calls me a baby used to hearing Carlos say it. I want him to be the only one to say it to me forever, it's just different when he says it. I roll my eyes at his choice of words to make me want to get back with him. There is no way on god's green and blue earth we were even supposed to be in the same room again, but here we are.

"No Alex, you wasted your time tracking me down and taking the trip down here. I have no interest in you. We are done forever, there is no way I'm going to let you beat on me like a punching bag ever again. Ups and downs are big arguments and don't get me wrong we've had those too, but beating me to the point where I almost can't move? That's not ups and downs, that's abuse Alex. You need to check your ego and go get help, then you can really find your soulmate. I know I've found mine, and it's not you. Obviously." I say looking in his eyes as I spoke.

He ran his hands through his hair before coming closer to me. I put my hands behind my back twisting my bracelet out of nervousness. I don't want him to see though because he knows my bad habits when I'm nervous. 

7 years you learn a lot about your partner.

I shake my head at him silently telling him not to step any closer to me , but of course he doesn't listen.

Then we hear sirens, I look out at the road when the cop car pulls into the driveway. I don't know what to expect when they pull around but I quickly relax when I see Carlos and his partner Vanya

*Umbrella Academy anyone???*

I step closer to the stairs now on the first one trying to put some space between me and Alex like I have been trying to do this whole time. 

He turned slightly looking at me,a year ago I would have gone right back to his side after that look but I'm stronger now. I look away from his angry stare and keep standing on the step away from him.

Vanya looks at me and I smile kindly at the worry in her eyes as she does. I nod quickly to tell her I'm alright and not hurt at all. 

She stands beside Carlos as he crosses his arms over his chest staring at the two of us.

"Everything alright here?" He said staring at Alex.

Of course Alex the asshole speaks first. But it's not the fact that he speaks first , it's what he says that makes me glare at the back of his head.

"No sir, we were just talking. This is my boyfriend , we've been in a long distance relationship, almost 8 years now." He said smiling and if I didn't know how manipulative he was I would have believed him too. 

After 7 years of seeing the same act though, anyone would be tired of it.

Carlos looked at him, fake believing him and occasionally nodding while he spoke.

I just shook my head at Vanya but she discreetly winked at me letting me know all was well and I leaned back relaxing against the railing of the stairs letting Alex talk himself into a holding cell.

"Why are you guys talking outside?" he asked, trying to see if Alex will lie some more.

I cover my mouth trying to hide my smile when he starts again telling an entire story this time. He turned around at the end bringing me into it.

"Right Tyler?" he asked glaring at me pulling at his keys in his pocket, I know this move all to well once again.

He served in the army and he has issues from it, so he keeps a pocket knife on his key chain but it's shaped like a lighter so no one really expects him to have a weapon on him.

I shake my head holding onto the rail tighter , hoping he doesn't pull something that puts my life in danger.

He glares harder at me when I deny his entire story, stepping towards me with his hand out palm up, but Carlos and Vanya come between us at this point.

"Okay sir, I need to speak with you over here for questioning." Carlos said and I shake my head at him ,but he doesn't even look at me while he guides Alex beside the car.

I hug Vanya as she approaches me ," TK , how did all of this happen?" she asked quietly, trying not to let Alex over hear what she was asking me.

"Ma was leaving and he came in a taxi, talking about wanting to get back together. Vanya he used to beat the shit out of me, but only places no one would see but me and him.The only part he told the truth about was how long we were together. 7 years of my life 4 of them I was being beat to within an inch of my life every time he would get mad." I said, shaking slightly. She nods not having to write anything down as she looks at Carlos.

They exchange a nod before switching places. I look at them confused but realize they do this all the time, cross questioning. They just slightly change the questions.

As Carlos approaches me, I see Alex pull on his key chain. Pussy. He would have never tried to pull a knife on Carlos because he knew he'd lose even with a weapon.

"Vanya 3 o'clock!" She looks at me before ducking and dodging the pocket knife kneeing Alex in the back bringing him to his knees where he belongs anyway.

Carlos puts me behind him, seeing the knife before he goes over to help Vanya pick him up and carry him, putting him in the back of the car.

I come towards the car as Vanya goes into the passenger side to get handcuffs for Alex.

Carlos turns around hearing footsteps approaching. I hug him,kissing his lips softly, but he deepens the kiss almost immediately, pulling me by my neck towards him. He slants my head as I wrap my arms around his neck feeling protected in his presence. He pulls away and I look at him with glazed over eyes, he pulls me closer to him and I think he's going to kiss me again but he whispers in my ear instead.

"We'll talk when I get home. You taste good." He said in my ear, making me shiver, I don't know what we have to talk about... he came just in time before things got ugly. I still nod at him though when he pulls away to put his mind at ease.

I bend down looking at an angry Alex, I smirk before speaking to him.

"If you hit my boyfriend while he's locking you up you'll regret it." I said through the window and then I blew him a kiss, moving back into Carlos's arms.

I turn back around for the last time to taunt him "Soulmate" I say pointing to Carlos making him flare with anger pulling on his cuffs. I shake my head at his attempt to break free, silly rabbit trix are for kids.

I kissed Carlos on the cheek one last time. "Come home safe and sound officer." I wink at him walking away as I hear his laugh fill the air.

I send him off waving as he pulls out of the driveway and back to the station.

Shit! I'm going to be late for work , I quickly haul ass back into the house grabbing my keys and checking my face in the mirror.

Aside from my red kiss swollen lips, I look good so I grab an apple and lock up his house.

I get into my car putting on my seat belt and sitting for a few minutes to clear my mind before I start driving. I close my eyes breathing slowly and then I start my car merging onto the road.

I park at the station taking deep breaths before I go in again , just to make sure I'm calm enough to handle anything that was thrown at me this shift. 

Then my phone vibrates,

Papi Carlos-"I need to take an extra shift, we should get off at the same time if you're still going to work?"

I text him back with a small smile,

"Yes I'm at work love you and be safe again papi." I turn my phone off and go into the kitchen to see my team.

"Heyyy TK , you're early today compared to how late you usually are!"

I smile lightly , "Fuck you Judd!"

I sit down at the table, making small talk with my second family, they were just what I needed after a day like today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babies sorry for the late uploads two nights in a row. I made it at 11:59 today but I wanted to do this for y'all
> 
> Find a reason to stay you got this baby!
> 
> I love you all deep!
> 
> -xo, Steph


	27. C/26 Grade A asshole

Carlos POV:

I walk into the station with this grade A asshole on my hands trying to control my anger. But that's very hard when the person that abused the love of my life meantlly and physically for 7 years is standing in front of me.

Vanya took him from me into interrogation knowing I needed a break, I nod at her silently telling her my thanks with a look. She is a great partner.

We are both open books, so we easily get along. We've worked together now for almost 5 years.

I wait in the front , making conversation with the receptionist. Then a thought hits me..

How in the fuck did he find my house, TK and where he works? He said he doesn't keep in contact with anyone in NYC, so...does that mean he has friends down here too? Well, small world then. But it's going to take more than popping up at my house to get TK back.

He's lucky I didn't black out once I realized who he was. Lord knows I would never be able to come back home to TK. I would have life with no parole.

Our ex's have been too comfortable showing up at my house, maybe I need to move. It might be safer for the both of us since he's with me almost everyday of the week.

We're practically living together. That house is bittersweet for me though. I always thought I'd be able to move into my second house with my sister , we'd both have separate areas we could decorate how we wanted without the other opinions.

I miss you Em, I know you would want me to do this though. I make a mental note to tell TK sooner rather than later.

"Reyes, can I speak with you?" The captain says to me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yes sir" I walk behind him as he leads the way to his office. We walk in, he asks me to sit down and I quickly take a seat wondering what this is about.

I've only been called in here when I got promoted but I haven't done anything to get promoted , I'm so confused at this point.

"I wanted to thank you personally for having dignity and honor with or without the badge." He said sitting at his desk.

I nod , thanks alright I can do that.

"It's my job sir." I say nonchalantly, everyone is supposed to hold themselves to a standard and being a colored policeman I have to hold myself even higher. We're already not wanted and liked by a lot of people, but me becoming a cop was bigger than me.

It was for all the Latinx boys and girls who wanted to become one but their family doesn't approve. It's for all the Latinx boys and girls who want to be a cop but they never saw someone who looks like them in this profession.

This is for them. Like I said before bigger than me.

"You are more than your job Reyes, you are one of the best cops we have in Austin. We have had some crazy calls but you are always there ready to cooperate and listen. You're supportive and you are compassionate. Any human that comes in your path is lucky to share the same air as you even if it is for a few moments." 

I look at him surprised to say the least. "Thank you sir, I'm just kind to people always."

He nods picking up his phone.

"Vanya is in interrogation room 8" he looks at me responding, "Thank you Reyes is on his way now."

"Yes sir"

I nod getting up from my seat , rounding the halls ready to see Alex.

I have a calm mind and I'm level headed, let's do this.

I reach the door taking a deep breath then I open it. The first thing I see is his blue hair then his face laying on the table. I then saw Vanya in the corner with coffee in her hand, ahh she was playing the waiting game until I got here.

I love this woman, what can I say? She's my other half!

"Hey Alex, how are you doing?"

He groans in response and I nod knowing he was going to play tough until I brought up his past with TK then he would try to blame it all on him. I look at his hair then I bang my fist on the table making him raise his head off of it, good.

"Why are you in Austin?" I asked calmly, pulling out my chair and sitting down. He looked at me and started smiling, yeah buddy it's just you and me tonight I thought.

"I have a cousin here. She saw TK a few times and thought I should know." He said shrugging dismissively, I just nod.

Lie #1

His cousin lives in Houston not Austin and his cousin is 3. She's a toddler and she's been in foster care since she was born.

"Did you see her yet? Your cousin?" I say looking at his hands in the cuffs.

He can't hurt TK anymore, it's alright. I tell myself to calm down again after what he says.

"Well no, I wanted her to meet TK, we were going to see her together tomorrow evening, of course after we fucked-"

I pull on his cuffs against the table stopping him from finishing what he was going to say. I didn't need to hear it , for his sake he shouldn't try to say if again. I give him a look,

"Language. This recording will be shown to the judge at your trial."

He straightened up at trial and he got serious,

"Do you need to call your lawyer?"

He shook his head, "I am a lawyer , I'm advocating for myself." I nod,

Lie #2

His family is filthy rich, so they have a family lawyer that they keep on stand by just in case for situations like these.

"What were you doing at that house? You live in NYC right?" I say trying to get him to say he was staying with TK.

"I was visiting TK, but he just got angry at me for no reason. He started coming towards me like he was going to hit me but then you and Vanya had showed up. Perfect timing if you ask me." He said smiling widely.

Little shit, we were there!

Vanya was looking at the security cameras while I drove to my place. I drove there on auto-pilot just trying to get there as fast as I could.

I only turned on the sirens when I entered my driveway.

I saw TK on the stairs with his hands behind his back, his arm was moving slightly he must be twisting his bracelet. He's nervous, I get out of the car looking at him.

He looks at me then at Vanya quickly looking away. What is he doing? I walk to the other side of the car closer to them, but before I do I leave my phone in the car putting it on silent.

When the asshole lied through his teeth twice I decided to stop playing nice.

"Okay I need to ask you both questions." I take Alex first letting Vanya check on TK.

"Okay so what happened between you and Tyler?"

I don't know the word to describe what I'm feeling knowing the one and only Alex is standing in front of me. I want to break all of the bones in his hands for even attempting to threaten TK while I'm right here. It was like he was taunting me, but I had to show restraint , now is not the time to show him who I am.

"Like I said up there , he was threatening me before you both showed up, I only told that story because I was scared he would do something to me when you both left. I've never felt this unsafe around him, but ever since he moved he's been talking back and not listening to what I say. I want to stay together but he keeps pushing me away. It's like he doesn't love me anymore." He said sighing and I tried to put on the best poker face that I can , not showing any emotion.

Especially not sympathy.

"Okay , my partner Vanya will come over and ask you a few more questions now." I say calmly and he nods.

I reach TK when he yells out to Vanya,

"Vanya 3 o'clock!" I turn immediately to help her but she has it under control.

I see her knee Alex in the back and I stand beside her helping pull him up walking him to the car.

Asshole, he wouldn't have done that if it were another man. Sexism in 2020, it's sad honestly.

I'm closing the door in his face when I hear footsteps coming towards me, I look up seeing TK walking to hug me, I want more than a hug after the stunt that Alex pulled.

Vanya could've lost her life over that prick.

I grab his neck bringing his mouth to mine , slanting his head to deepen the kiss and he just wraps his arms around my neck holding on to me. I pull away looking down at TK to make sure he's really okay, but when I see his glazed over eyes I slowly smirk. I wrap my hand around the back of his head putting my lips close to his ear to whisper in it.

"We'll talk when I get home, You taste good." I said to him, the slight shiver of his body not going unnoticed.

He paused for a second but nodded his head nonetheless. He surprises me looking into the back window at Alex , but when he speaks I can't hide my smile.

He's so protective , my over proactive baby.

I look at him as he looks into the window for the second time pointing at me this time, I raise my eyebrow in question.

"Soulmate." he said pointing at me and I smirked, ''this man we are a perfect match. I kiss his cheek before letting go of him.

While TK just shakes his head, I smile down at him again softly when he winks at me walking back to the house.

"Come home safe and sound officer." He said smiling and I nod winking back at him, I pull out of the driveway on the way back to the station.

*Back at the station in the interrogation room.*

"Are you going to stick to the same story you told me at the property?"

"Story? Oh no sir, it was the truth but yes that is what I am standing by." I nod getting up out of the chair walking towards Vanya.

I lean down whispering in her ear,

"Can you pull up the camera recordings for me please? But only show him the part where we pull into the driveway and his reaction."

She nods walking to the door to get my phone out of the car. I didn't bring it in because I had Alex and it wasn't important at the time.

Now that Vanya is out of the room , I lean over the desk speaking quietly to him.

"I know you used to beat the shit out of TK, he's told me almost everything you've done to him. "

I stand behind him now, unmoving, letting him digest the fact I know he abused my boyfriend. Standing behind him will make him nervous , when he tries to turn his head the cuffs cut into his wrist stopping him.

I walk in front of him now slowly letting my steps echo in the quiet room, only thing that can be heard is the labored breathing of Alex sitting at the table.

"Still want to keep your story?" I say sitting down again, he deserves a lot more tormenting than I'm giving him, but it's not my job to be his karma.

"Did he tell you I took his virginity? Tightest ass i've ever had." I give him a blank look before laughing.

No way was I going to let myself get arrested questioning this asshole, it only made me sad for TK. He was really in love with this monster of a man.

"Yes took is a good word, if you were my first I wouldn't tell people either." I said shrugging it off.

How did TK deal with him for 7 years , damn my baby was strong.

I need to tell him that more often, he deserves compliments everyday and I swear after tonight and the events of today, I will have one taped to the fridge for him before I go to work every single day.

His eyes flare at my come back before he leans back in the seat glaring at me.

Vanya comes back in with my phone and I show him his reaction to the sirens and he freezes. Now that he knows I saw the whole altercation he speaks quickly.

"Actually I would like to call my lawyer."

I look at Vanya and she grabs him taking him out to the phone booths.

I smile at him on his way out, yeah asshole it's over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: hey babies 3 weeks old this book is now 🥺 ughhhh thank you all again for taking this journey with me❤️ were at 434 reads🥺🥺🥺 🧚🏾♀️🧚🏾♀️🧚🏾♀️🧚🏾♀️🧚🏾♀️
> 
> Keep going baby, you have to find a reason to stay
> 
> I love y'all deep
> 
> -xo, Steph


	28. C/27 Soulmate Pt.1

TK POV:

I head to the showers, that last call had so much dust it feels like I have it everywhere on my body.

Putting on my grey shirt and black pants I head back out to the main area. I see Judd talking on the phone in the corner , passing by him with a curious look to which he shrugs off.

I hear music playing from the kitchen so I walk towards it.

"Aye, I do my dance on that hoe, throwing ones while she shakes on the pole!"

I see Paul dancing moving around the kitchen making chicken tenders.

"Paul!" I yell he looks at me and smiles turning down the music,

"Hey wassup?" He said watching the grease, we would hate for a fire to happen at a fire station.

"When did you start making chicken? Was my shower really that long?" He nods smiling,

"Your showers are always around 30 to 45 minutes long, I started them about 20 minutes ago though." He shrugged when it came to the time.

"Okay, special occasion?" I was curious because he barely cooks for everyone. He looked at me shaking his head,

"I can't just be nice?" He said smirking and I put my hands up laughing,

"Sure Paul!"

He starts taking the chicken out of the grease, laying it on a plate with three napkins on top to catch the excess grease.

When he has two left, the siren sounds and he cuts the stove off getting ready. I check behind him taking out the few chicken tenders. Then I pull the grease off of the stove putting the pot in the sink.

Paul POV:

I prepped the chicken, cutting it into thick slices, I then turned on the stove's biggest eye to 8, high would only cook the outside of the chicken and not the inside, no one likes salmonella.

I'm in a good mood for some reason today, I prayed this morning and I felt this huge weight come off of my shoulders almost immediately after.

I put the chicken tenders into the grease, putting my music on medium when TK walks in calling my name. I turn down my music smiling at him, we make small talk before the siren goes off, I turn the stove off rushing to put on my uniform.

I head into the truck Mateo behind me, TK is the last one to arrive. He winks at me , and I know he pulled everything off.

"Thank you," I said to him ,he just nodded while putting on his headphones. I focus and do the same, we never know what a call will bring.

Narrators POV:

They get to the call exiting the truck quickly, when they hear a man on a speaker phone talking over the intercom.

"The gangs all here , good. I need you all to listen to me right now, if you don't want 1200 prisoners killed then you'll do as I say. Exactly how I say it."

TK POV:

I looked around trying to see who they were talking about , police officers and EMTs were all here , it's just the question of who they want out of us all.

I looked around trying to point out worried faces but everyone was relaxed so let's just see where this goes.

I scan the crowd one more time before spotting Carlos talking to Vanya in her ear. What are they talking so secretly about? That's weird and suspicious to me.

It may just be because you're used to being treated like shit. He's given you no reason to doubt him TK, he would never do you like that.

His voice broke through my thoughts stopping them. "You trust me?" He said and I closed my eyes looking back towards the scene.

"I trust you." I whisper to myself when the intercom sounds again,

"I need 2 firefighters, 2 cops and one EMT. Preferably your most qualified." Then they were gone again.

I look at dad who looks at Michelle, damn it. She's going in, I know that look on her face. I shake my head at dad telling him silently not to go in. He looks at me before I hear the police captain calling everyone over.

I briefly glance over there too looking for Carlos and Vanya but I don't see them. Oh shit, are they going in? They can't be. Well he is one of the best cops in Austin...

No way, he wouldn't put himself in harm's way like that. Well shit , he's a cop he goes in harm's way every time he's on duty , I close my eyes again looking at my dad.

The intercom comes on again, this time they sound impatient.

"Michelle I assume you're coming, who else? Time is money, you all." Then they were gone. I roll my eyes.

I see her turn around talking to her team before taking her jacket off. I see Carlos walking towards her putting his jacket beside hers in the truck.

No he's not.. I know his ass isn't!

"TK, listen!" My dad says turning me once again back to the huddle,

"Okay I need someone to go in with me, they need two."

I look at him irritated then look at the team and know we're all thinking the same thing,

" No way capt you're not going in. Me and TK will do it." Paul says and I nod going back to the truck to take my things off.

"You two got this?" He asked worry in his eyes and I wink,

"Born for this." I elbow Paul in the side then we both walk over to the EMT truck putting our own jackets with everyone else's.

Hopefully this will be a quick one.

I don't recognize who that woman is with Carlos but when she turns around I realize it's Vanya, I've just never seen her with her hair down before.

The intercom breaks the silent staring contest me and Carlos are having,

"Well well well, isn't this the best looking first responder team I've ever seen? Well the easy part is over. Come to the doors now, and I will have 3 guards waiting to open the doors for you. Any outside contact gadgets will be destroyed once you get in here, so save yourself and the state some money and leave them outside. But of course you can try and be Billy bad ass, the choice is yours. Everyone else stay calm out there, get a coffee or something mingle you might be able to find your soulmate. You never know. Let the show begin!"

I look at Michelle and Vanya not having the strength to look at Carlos at all. I nod at Paul sending him a quick look of strength hoping he doesn't mirror my feelings .

Carlos comes to stand in front of me and I unfortunately forced myself to look up at him and confront his existence.

"Carlos Javier. How dare you do this to me."

"What did I do?" He asked, giving me a straight face.

"What didn't you do? Why did you volunteer for this shit?" He looks at me dumb founded for a second before I get his response:

"This is my job. Are you not doing the same thing?"

I glare at him , "K."

"You don't think I worry every time you go to work? Every time I see a fire truck pass by the station? Every time we end up at the same calls? None of this is my choice but this is my job and I intend to be the best at whatever I do, now hug me because I don't know what's going to happen in here and I need to know we're okay."

I stare at him, my glare going away as he speaks , the fire around my heart being put out by his waters of truth. I hug him tightly pulling him to me and whisper in his ear,

"I really want to kiss you right now. We're good Carlos." He nods on my shoulder pulling away from me to stand beside Michelle.

I start walking to the door , Carlos on my heels with Michelle at his side, Vanya and Paul walking together behind all three of us.

"Let's do this shit." Michelle said and I wink back at her.

"Before we go in though, do you guys want to say a prayer?" I look at Paul then at the rest of the group.

"Yeah" We all say before closing our eyes.

"Dear God, thank you for this day. I pray that you protect our mind and our bodies as we enter into the unknown of this call. Protect us from any evil and give us the strength to get through whatever they throw at us. Keep us strong minded as well and let us know that we always have each other no matter what happens in here. In Jesus name , Amen."

I raise my head and wrap my arms around Carlos's and Michelle's back to bring everyone in for a hug.

"On three?" Vanya said and we all nod quietly.

I stand behind Carlos and Michelle; they stand in the front, me Paul and Vanya behind them in their windows diagonal to them.

"One.." Paul said

"Three" Carlos said, walking forward with Michelle and we all followed suit.

We come to the doors and like clockwork there are three guards there as the person on the intercom told us outside. I unclench my fist calming down slightly. Maybe they won't lie to us and this will be a quick mission?

We just need to keep hoping that is all this is.

Guard 1: Both of you two take off your belts and take off your badges. Neither of those are permitted here.

"Here" Carlos said, giving the guard him and Vanya's belts with their weapons on it. Then he grabs his badge reaching back for Vanya's but she never gives hers.

He looks back at her and she shakes her head, damn it, It's on her jacket. Which is in the EMT truck outside.

"She doesn't have her badge, it's outside on her jacket in the truck." He said cautiously.

The guard looks her up and down and nods. I think we all let out a greatful breath that it wasn't going to be a deal breaker.

I see one of the pepper sprays is replaced with a perfume bottle that a look-a-like, my smart man.

Guard 2: Take out the hair bow. No metal is permitted inside.

Michelle takes down her hair moving it onto one should give the other guard her bow. I look at the third guard knowing me and Paul would have to take something off.

Guard 3: No bracelets either pretty boy. And you take off that necklace, no pictures.

I give it to Paul who takes off his necklace with his sister's picture in the middle of it as well giving it to the guard.

They all look us over once again and start walking us through a long tunnel. It doesn't have any lights in it, we were submerged in the dark but not for long.

We make it to the end of the tunnel and it's three passageways. I look at Carlos then Paul, this is it I thought. They're going to split us up.

Guard 2: Michelle , and Carlos come with me.

I look at them worried they are getting separated from us because they are their best friends and they have one of the strongest bonds out of the group.

He looks at me nodding before putting his hand in the middle of Michelle's back guiding her to wherever the second guard went.

I take deep breaths slowly trying to calm my heart rate for what feels like the thousandth time this week.

Paul nudges me and I straighten up immensely when I hear footsteps coming towards us.

I look at Vanya who's looking at Paul worried. I look back at Paul who squeezes her hand quickly before letting it go. I almost miss the show of affection.

These two?? Okayy Paul! But now's not the time for my happy dance.

I clear my head, putting a blank look on my face.

"Strap them up & bring them outside" I hear the raspy voice say and my heart sinks in my chest.

This isn't just another call, we weren't going to make it back out of here at least not tonight anyways.

One second we're standing in the middle of a room the next we're tackled to the floor with cuffs on our wrist and bags over our heads.

Great we don't know where we're being taken. So if we had contact with the outside we wouldn't know where to send them to get us, especially since we're separated.

I relax my body letting them carry me without any hassle hoping this will make them think I'm not going to cause any trouble.

It's going to be the complete opposite. They won't know what hits them once I do strike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: hey guys, hope this makes up for yesterday I'm sorry about that.  
> Double upload today.
> 
> Love you all deep❤️
> 
> Ps- this is going to be a trilogy.
> 
> -xo,Steph


	29. C/28 Soulmate Pt.2

Carlos POV:

Me and Michelle put ourselves in this situation but we have to remember we're doing this for the better good of the whole community.

This is bigger than us.

I nod at TK before I put my hand in the middle of Michelle's back leading her into the first passage way where the guard went.

I see Vanya reach for Paul and I mind my business. Once she saw that he was coming in with us, she pulled her hair out of it's bun , she definitely likes him but I don't need to be worrying about them right now.

I drop my hand from M's back once I see the guard walking beside her instead of behind her now.

"Love you M." She looks at me and nods,

"Love you too C. Let's do this." I shake my arms rubbing my neck to loosen the tensed muscles.

"Ok." She walks ahead of me now closer to the guard to see where we're going. I have the better memory though, so I stay back getting some details of the passage before I catch up to them just in case I need to tell anyone some directions to get here.

I walk beside M again now and she winks at me with her hand out and I give her the pepper spray I managed to replace with a perfume on my belt outside before we came in.

She tucks it in her uniform so well you can't even notice it. Knowing she has it puts my mind at ease. I can defend myself but when I tried to get her to have lessons she said she only needs to know where their balls are and she'll knee them or kick them as hard as she can.

I shook my head at her dropping the conversation, not wanting to hear her real answer for not wanting to take them. It's probably something linked to her childhood. Most likely something to do with her dad, that was something she never talked about, with anyone actually.

I worry about her but she always tells me to just live life and I try for her and Em.

We come into a surprisingly beautiful living room, the guard motioning us to sit and we comply. I put my hands in my lap while M crossed her arms over her chest.

I smirk at her before looking at our surroundings for details, a brown double mirror on the ceiling. I wonder what that's for? I shift my body on the couch when we hear clapping coming from the mirror above our heads.

As we both look up , we see two figures, one my height and the other is just shorter than me.

If I need to I know I can take them I say to myself.

The lower they get to the couch the more attributes we're able to make out. We get up standing in front of whoever these people were and we both freeze.

Fucking Alex and Tobias stand in front of us smirking like the assholes that they are.

I pull Michelle closer into my side discreetly but she stands her ground not moving at all. I drop my hand putting them both behind my back to hide the fist that they will show if I don't.

I look at them both starting with Tobias, he has dark circles under his eyes but his eyes themselves are bloodshot red.

The contrast is almost ghostly looking, it's scary. I unball one fist putting my hand back down to my side, then I do the other letting them know I don't have a weapon in my hand.

I then look at Alex starting from his head of blue messy hair, it still looks perfect but how? The dudes in jail should have roughed him up a bit. Unless he never went to jail at all. I continued down his body. The only sign that he was arrested was his wrist. They had marks from when he was pulling on them that time I kissed TK in front of him.

Good he needs something to show him even .002% of the pain that he caused TK.

I shake my head silently not giving anything away on my face. M on the other hand is blatantly glaring at them, even though they have the upper hand right now.

They step off of the stand that they used to come down to us and we back up not wanting to be close to them at all, I look at Tobias as he keeps walking even though we keep backing up.

I hit a wall and curse in my head , now what am I supposed to do? I don't know my way around this place, I need to come up with a plan really quick.

I close my eyes then open them coming up with an escape route. All we have to do is get Tobias and Alex separated, all Alex does is cycling so he's not athletic at all or flexible. I will let M handle him and then I'll get Tobias, I can handle whatever he throws at me.

"Carlos, my love. How I've missed you being in my house. How do you like it, not too shabby right?" I look at him , but I'm looking through him ignoring everything he says only picking up that this was his house and he wants me here.

I'm good though, I have my own house and now that I know it's his I take back ever calling it pretty.

"Oh so now you're too good to give me your opinion? I made this room thinking of you, I remember when we were younger you said you always wanted a dark interior living room in your house. I remembered baby." I look at him not saying anything but still giving him some of my attention while I try to memorize the room.

"Why am I here?" I ask with an emotionless voice and he simply smiles at me backing away at the same time. I question it , but I move away from the wall not liking the feeling of being caged in somewhere.

"Don't you know? I want you to live with me here, I want us to be together. I miss you Carlos. I told you it's hard to breathe everyday without you here by my side. What don't you get about that? It's really simple, BE WITH ME!" he said yelling at the end.

I look at Alex pulling his phone out before recording me, "Here's your soulmate Tyler. Don't fucking play with me I'll slit his throat right here an-"

I reach behind him putting him in a chokehold , he drops the phone when my arm is around his neck, I whisper in his ear softly so only he knows what I said.

" You think that I would stand here and let you record me like a pussy? Even I thought you were smarter than that now Alex. Tell TK this ," I kick him in the back of his knee as he lets out a scream.

"I will see you soon, spiral." I stop the recording letting go of his neck and kicking him to the ground.

Once again where he deserves to be. The asshole tried to make that video leverage he could have over TK. Not happening.

He looks at Tobias still on the floor before getting up and running down the tunnel we came through. I looked back at Tobias who shrugged nonchalantly, obviously not caring what happens to him once he gets there.

I look at M putting my hand on her back before turning away from Tobias. I lift my head to the mirror on the ceiling and wait for her.

Michelle POV:

As soon as he put his hand on my back turning the opposite way I was, I knew we were about to fight Tobias. I take my stance beside him nodding quickly.

I lift my right leg up acting like I'm going to kick him and he grabs my foot like we expected. Then Carlos kicks him in the side making him lose his balance. I reach for the pepper spray when he gets up trying to distract him with it while Carlos looks around for any type of gun.

I see him slowly getting up with one hand on hid side. When he's almost up , I spray him in the eyes making him fall again. I also spray his hands and neck so he's surrounded in the fumes.

I twist his arm behind his back, almost breaking it.

I feel like that would be appropriate, wouldn't you?

" Don't break his arm M. He needs to go straight to jail after this."

I'm still bending his arm but with less pressure and not stretching it like I was before.

"You're right. I won't let him take the easy way out." He keeps looking for a gun but finds cuffs instead.

"Come on, we have to get him up and get out of here. We will come back for the others." He said quickly, putting the cuffs on him and dragging him through the house. I walk behind them with the pepper spray out still holding it in my hand discreetly.

We make it back safely to the portal with the three tunnels and I check the middle while he checks the right. We came out of the left.

"Carlos what the hell is that?" I looked over seeing a light flickering on and off in the right tunnel and he just shakes his head,

"I don't know M, should we drop him off first or check it out?"

"Him first." I say knowing anything could go wrong but at least he'll be in custody.

C brings him out of the tunnel making his way through the dark tunnel again until we're in the front. I hear some of the hostages whispering and go to let them free.

When I come in they get silent and hide behind the desk that they were tied too, I need to move fast.

"Who can undo knots the fastest?" I asked trying to get to them first so they can help me untie others.

"Me and my brother can. We had a competition in school and we won." I nod letting them go first and they get to work alongside me untying others, we finish in no time.

"Thank you so much for freeing us. We thought we wouldn't see the outside ever again." I nod pointing at the boys.

"They need your thanks too. I couldn't do it alone." They nod walking over to the set of siblings.

I turn looking for C but relax when I see him outside with the chief.

Good, now we have to get the others.

I walk outside with the boys by my side. I raise their hands in the air ,

"The hero's responsible for freeing the hostages"

I said letting them get the credit, I know in times of uncertainty we all would need it.

I walk to C but he starts running towards me at the same time. I stopped looking at him confused on why he looked so scared when he turned around and I saw Paul and Vanya, but no TK.

Oh shit, Alex was still in there with him! We have to get to him.

"M it's TK, he's still inside with Alex I'm going to kill him if there is any type of bruise on his body. I don't know if I'll be able to control myself. Literally I'm trying to calm down before I go in but nothing is working."

I glare at my best friend hitting his chest. He is one of the strongest men I know right next to my father , I know he can do this he just needs to breathe and think first.

"You are Carlos fucking Reyes, you better act like it and go in to get your man. I will be right by your side and so will everyone else. We'll just be the only ones in there."

I hear Paul calling his name as we both turn around,

"I'm coming back in , TK's family no way I would leave without him. Some dude with blue hair took him down the middle tunnel and we went down the right."

I look at C smirking as we walk into the entrance once again.

"Second time a charm no?" I said lifting the mood but only Paul smiles , C is in kill mode and I need to make sure he doesn't kill anything or anyone.

"Let's do this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: find a reason to keep going 
> 
> I love y'all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph


	30. C/29 Soulmate Pt.3

Carlos POV:

I'm about to enter the building again when chief calls out to me,

"Reyes, Hargreaves come get a belt."

Shit I forgot the guards have ours still , and I don't know where they took them.

Great!

I walk over and grab the belts giving Vanya the smallest one of course.

Don't get me wrong I'm slim but her waist is still smaller than mine.

I look back nodding at the chief as we walk in.

First things first we have to get TK, then we have to find Alex even though I have a strong feeling both are in the same place.

*In the building*

We walk down the long and dark tunnel pros at this point, once we get to the end we look at the left tunnel and then the middle. I forgot which one he said TK was in so I wait for him to repeat it.

"He took TK down the middle Carlos."

Paul said and we walked down the center tunnel slowly making sure we weren't going to be walking into a trap.

There are six paintings on the wall spread out evenly as we walk , I put them in my memory just in case.

You never know what could happen here. I just try my best to keep everyone ready for the worst.

I hear faint laughter and I start walking faster towards the sound. M is behind me looking at the room we just entered her mouth wide open and I don't blame her.

We walked into the room and the first thing you see are pictures of me at various ages all over the walls. I look behind me seeing M's mouth wide open and I shake my head looking for Vanya and Paul. They come into the room next and they both just freeze looking around the room slowly.

This must have been Tobias' stalker room because that's what it was giving. It looked like the murder mystery room in a police station except I was the only suspect.

"This shit is embarrassing and sickening at the same time, I have to go."

I said, turning around when I heard the laughing sound again. I looked around the room to see if there was a door but nothing.

"Someone's playing with me right now." I said more to myself but Vanya heard it.

"No I'm hearing it too Carlos." I turn facing her then see a mirror on the ceiling.

Bingo.

" Grab chairs and let's pull down this mirror."

I said to everyone and we all moved quickly towards the chairs under the table in the corner. Once we are all standing beside the mirror we start to pull it down.

"Shit, hold on."

I hear M say and I look over worried, it's just her nail she broke it pulling down the side of the mirror.

"You can't scare me like that. I thought you saw someone coming towards us or something!"

She smiles starting to pull the mirror again, we are able to pull it down to my waist and we all climb onto it.

Vanya though is too short to reach so Paul grabs her by her waist pulling her up onto the top of the mirror. Michelle and Vanya get off first, standing up and I give Paul a look letting him know that I know about him and Vanya.

He looks away shaking his head, yeah buddy it's not that much of a secret.

We stand up getting off the mirror, I see Paul go into the room in front of us and I stay where I'm at to memorize the room.

I'm looking at one of the paintings when I hear the safety of a gun unlock behind me. I don't turn around immediately showing I'm not phased.

I'm a cop, I've heard more gun shots than I'm able to count. 15 years in this career nothing like that phases me anymore. But I do turn when I hear muffled sounds.

"Drop the gun Alex."

I said turning to see him with both of his hands on the gun, one on the trigger.

"Why? You're supposed to be begging for your life right now! Get down on your knees!"

I stand there letting him speak but I'm not getting on my knees.

Not for anyone.

*what about tk?😏 okay back to the story 🤣*

"That's not a good idea."

I said putting my hands behind my back.

"I'm not asking asshole!"

I raise my brow at him, aw he's using big words now they grow up so fast! I shake my head still standing.

"I'm okay. You're so red you want to get some water or something?"

He glares at me when I'm finished.

"Fuck this. Bring him out!"

I step back prepared to fight if I needed too, I don't know who he's bringing out. But I stop when I see TK walk around the corner with a bag over his head and his arms bruised from how tight the rope was tied around his wrists.

I breath deeply a few times closing my eyes before I completely lost it and killed the both of these idiots. But jail will do them so much better than I ever could.

"Oh not so talkative now are we?"

I just stare at him as he laughs and I realize that's what me and Vanya were hearing earlier. He was above us the whole time!

"I'll do anything you want if you let him go."

I say and the asshole just smiles at me walking behind TK and I turn my head not wanting to see what he was going to do. It would only add fuel to the fire that was my anger. I wouldn't be able to handle it at this point.

He takes the bag off TK's head and I watch as his beautiful face has bruises all over it.

DAMN IT. I'm going to kill him.

"Sir!"

I hear and Alex turns around right to Michelle as she pepper sprays him in the eyes.

"I'll handle him and get TK out of here C."

"No way in hell i'm leaving you in here Michelle. TK sit I'll get you in a second okay?"

He nods sitting in the corner , I take the tape off his mouth and undo the rope before going over to help Michelle.

"You fucking asshole you punched him multiple times for his face to be that bruised. You should be grateful I won't bring his dad in here to beat your ass off the record. You're lucky I'm not that kind of cop!"

"Paul , Vanya where are you?"

Michelle talked into the microphone on the wall and we get a response almost immediately.

"We're back at the tunnels looking for TK."

"Come down the middle we're bringing TK to the mirror now and he's coming down to you guys in a few."

"Copy" Vanya said and cut the mic off.

I pick TK up not wanting to look at how his legs may be damaged. I gently place him on the mirror and push it the rest of the way down.

"I love you."

He says looking up at me my heart melts looking down at his beautiful face now having bruises all over it.

"I love you too baby, so much go with Paul and Vanya and get checked we will be out in a few minutes I promise. Just trust me okay?"

He nods getting off of the mirror with the help of Paul and Vanya.

"Okay."

Then he's gone. I look at M and walk over again pulling Alex onto the ledge of the mirror making him stand.

"Jail time buddy!"

I said jumping onto the platform and lifting M down on it.

We walk behind Paul and Vanya who walk behind TK. Good he's where we can all see and protect him.

He walks out reaching outside first then Paul and Vanya. I let M go ahead since I was carrying Alex. I start walking him to the door when I see a shadow pass by the door adjacent to the front door.

"Paul, can you come get Alex. I forgot my belt."

He nods, coming back and taking him out of my hands giving me room to turn around following the figure.

For some odd reason , I feel like I know this person.. My intuition is always right too.

I double back the steps where I saw them and follow them perfectly, leading me onto a basketball court. I stand in the entrance not wanting to step off and be cornered by whoever this was.

"Hey brother in law, long time no see."

he said and I turned around my whole body shaking at his voice. I reach for my gun holding the top of it just in case he tries anything.

"You killed Emily. Why!"

I said walking towards him with my gun clutched in my right hand out of the holster now. His eyes widened when I took the gun out, he started backing away from me with both of his hands in the air.

"Don't shoot, she died in an accident! I didn't know I was killing her Carlos! Do you really think I would kill my own wife on purpose? I loved her! Just like you she used to be my sunshine, I fucked it up though and for that I'll never forgive myself."

I stare at him unmoving but my right hand still holding my gun firmly , what did he just say?

" I was invited here to help Alex kidnap your new boyfriend, but once I heard that he used to abuse him I stopped helping them. I kept it a secret but, I was helping you guys the whole time. I made the whole plan up and those idiots fell for it. Look man, I'm sorry about Emily. I could only do so much while I was high off of those drugs I was using. Nothing I say will make it better, but I did want you to know that I'm sorry."

I turn on my heel not saying anything, I always thought that when I do finally see him and we "talk" that I would feel something , but I felt nothing but rage when he finished.

How dare he try to make excuses for himself being a horrible husband? It was HIS fault that he got hooked onto the pain killer drugs that he was given after his injury, Not Emily's. She deserved better.

Turning around, I make my way back outside. The first thing I see is ma and papa's car beside the EMT truck, oh this is going to be just great! I thought, another thing for my parents to stress over, I don't need this right now.

Who called them? How did they even find out that I was inside? Were they here the first time I came outside and just didn't say anything?

I close my eyes and open them again walking towards their car.

I look for M knowing she can't be that far from them, they were always drawn to her like magnets. It's fine, everyone else was too. I see her standing beside the truck and jog over to her ,

"Have you seen ma and papa? I saw their car parked beside the truck. And did you call them? I don't know how else they would have known about this?"

She shakes her head at me,

"They are over by the fire truck helping TK get his things together. We need to finish checking him over but when they came I let him go say hi and all of that turned into everything you see now."

I rub my hands across my face exhaling before I walked over to the truck. The first person I see is Owen , and I tap his shoulder.

"Hey have you seen TK? I think he's with my parents somewhere around here."

He nods walking towards me, I see his small figure sitting on the side of the truck with my parents standing on either side of him wiping the wounds on his face with what looks like a damp towel.

Well, Well , Well. They really do like him, I honestly thought dad was faking it because he didn't want to mess up our relationship. I get it , but at the same time I don't. Just glad he's still a man of his word.

That's one thing you'll never be able to buy, and I respect him so much for it to this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey guys, I will pick up the next chapter where this stopped but the soulmate trilogy is done! Let me know how you liked it,I might do another idk
> 
> Find a reason to stay. You got this baby.
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,steph.


	31. C/30 Soulmate wrap!

TK POV:

"We got you buddy, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just slide off the side and Vanya is here to catch you."

I heard Paul say, still looking up at Carlos.

"I Love you."

I said as he lowered me down on the mirror,

"I love you too baby, so much go with Paul and Vanya and get checked we will be out in a few minutes I promise. Just trust me okay?"

I nod looking up at him, when I see Paul's hands on the side of the mirror.

"Okay." I say before getting off of the mirror into Paul and Vanya's hands. They both hold me by my waist gently placing my feet back on the ground once again.

I hear Michelle's shoes hit the mirror making me turn around but Paul and Vanya guide me towards the tunnel in front of them.

"Come on, let's get you out of here. You need to get checked by medical."

I turn back around walking down the tunnel, I guess they are right. I can't help anyone else if I'm not well myself. I reach the front door and Paul and Vanya grab the handle for me, opening it.

The moon seems blinding compared to the darkness of the tunnels in here.

When I step out the first person I see is my dad coming towards me. I hear Carlos call Paul and I turn around to see what was going on, but my dad insisted that I get checked by the medics before anything else and I complied knowing how worried he must have been while I was in there.

I head over to medical, and they check me over doing the usual. I feel fine but when I see an antiseptic wipe coming towards my face I flinch away.

"What are you doing? There's something wrong with my face?"

The woman just nods grabbing a small mirror hanging up in the truck and I look into it shocked.

"When did I get all of these scars?" I thought to myself, but then I remembered.

"DAMN IT! FUCKING ALEX."

I see my dad come from beside the truck looking at me and I cover my mouth. Shit he doesn't know Alex used to abuse me. I put both hands over my face not wanting to have this conversation right now.

Where is Carlos? Why isn't he here with me right now? I needed him. I shake it off putting the mirror down. I don't even want to see my arms or stomach if my face looked like this.

The medics cleared me; they just made me promise to clean my wounds on my face and I promised. I pulled out my phone needing to speak to ma , I don't know if I'll be able to do the surprise tonight. I mean I look like shit and I'm sure after the drugs in my body wear off I'll feel like shit too.

"Ma.'

"TK , hey baby how are you?"

"I was just held hostage , I'm on 43rd and 5th by the capital bank. I don't think I'll be able to make the dinner surprise tonight. I look horrible. And after the drugs wear off , I know I'll feel horrible too. I really do want to come, and not disappoint you, but I know my body won't allow it."

"Stay there, we're on the way."

"Ma no-"

But she had already hung up before I could protest, I knew Carlos would see them here and either freak out or he would be stressed out answering their questions. I just had to find them before he did. Then I could answer most of their questions and he doesn't have too.

I see a police officer coming towards me with a notepad and I stay sitting on the side of the fire truck knowing he is going to be questioning me about what happened in there, but I really have clue. After Carlos and Michelle were pulled away , Alex took me and drugged me making everything a huge blur.

I breath deeply, closing my eyes trying to remember something else, but nothing would come into my head, I gave up getting a headache quickly. Whatever.

"All I remember from being in there was Alex drugging me, after that everything went black. I don't even remember if I got hit anywhere else. I don't know if it was him or the guards honestly I don't want to talk about this right now. I just need to sit down and think for a minute."

He nods, writing a few things down on his notepad before letting me relax again because he walked away.

I see ma and papa's car and I get up telling them to park beside the EMT truck so they won't be seen. Ma got out the car letting papa park it, running over to me. I hugged her softly, she's small but she is strong, it felt like she was trying to crack my back by how hard she was hugging me.

I lean my head on her shoulder not wanting to let go anytime soon. I wish my real mother was like her, but creating a bond with Maria was one of the few things I am proud of in my life. I see papa getting out of the car and I pull away from ma. When he reaches me he pulls me in for a hug as well.

I tear up knowing both of them came here to support me when Carlos couldn't. I softly cry on his shoulder as he rubs my back up and down. I hug him tighter as I start crying harder into his chest. I don't know why them being here for me was so surprising because they raised their son to be the same way. I couldn't ask for a better second family than them and him.

I finally pull away, and ma leads me to the truck to sit down. When I have my breathing back under control, she takes a napkin out of her purse softly wiping my face, when she's done she gives me another so I can blow my nose which I'm sure is red by the amount of crying I just did.

"Thank you both, for being here. I really appreciate it."

I say after I blew my nose. Papa ruffles my hair smiling down at me while I'm sitting and then I see Carlos standing by the truck with a small smile.

"Hey"

I said looking at him, he looked lost in his thoughts but when he heard my voice he looked at me. He frowns a bit coming closer to me.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked squatting in between my legs in front of me. I shake my head,

"He drugged me Carlos, I only remember you and Michelle being taken away and Alex coming shortly after to get me. He took me down the middle tunnel and once we got to the room, he drugged me. Everything after that is almost non-existent for me. I don't know what he did to me, except for him hitting me in my face I'd say about six times. I've been through worse from him though, so for right now I'm not okay, but I'm not shaken mentally. I don't know how long it will be before the drugs wear off though."

I looked at him as his face grew angrier by the second. I lean back more onto the truck suddenly feeling nauseous. Shit , what did he do to me?

What if he used my body and I was responding while drugged up. My arms start to itch and as I go to scratch them my dad comes around the corner. Carlos shakes his head at him , walking away from me and towards him.

While I suffer in silence my arms feel like they're on fire since I'm not scratching them.

I look up at papa, as he walks with Carlos to go and speak to my dad leaving me with only ma to help.

"Ma , my arms feel like they are on fire. Can you please go get Michelle for me? I feel nauseous."

She quickly nods her head , jogging away from me and my vision blurs out a few seconds later.

This must be the drugs way of wearing off, I've been sober for a year and a few months but all of that was down the drain now since he forced them into my system without my consent.

I try to fight it , I do but the darkness takes me under screaming and kicking.

Here we go again, on the road to recovery. I can do this though, I have people by my side this time to help me through this.

Carlos POV:

I walk to Owen, and tell him almost everything that TK told me , when we hear a thump behind us. We all turn around to see TK on the ground and I dash over to help him up. When I spoke to him though, his eyes didn't open but he was still breathing.

"Michelle, he's unconscious!"

I yell across the parking lot seeing her walking over here already with ma.

"Shit, Vanessa and Corey go get the stimulator. He has an unknown drug in his system so don't use over 10 voltages."

Her partners nod grabbing the needed equipment, M comes over standing on the other side of him, I refuse to move,

"C , lay him flat on the ground and check his pulse. We're about to shock his nerves , but his pulse has to be strong enough to handle it."

I nod quickly doing what she asked, laying his body softly on the concrete beneath us all. I check his pulse and it's very strong. He's breathing normally, he's just not waking up. I nod at Michelle and she gets down opening the shock case.

"Open his shirt all the way and make sure the buttons aren't in the way. We're going to shock him Owen, and he's going to wake up. When he does, Carlos you will hold him to the side because it's going to cause him to throw up whatever drug Alex gave him. Got it?"

I nod moving his shirt out of the way and then I sit and wait for Michelle's call. When she puts the metal shockers on his body , I move my hands.

"Clear!"

*Shock*

His chest shakes before he opens his eyes coughing. I softly but quickly wrap my arms around his side pulling him over to me so he can throw up. Once he's sitting up I lean him to the side and he throws up, xanny pill cases coming out.

That asshole, xanny's? Really? No one will ever know what he did except TK only in due time though. All I can really do now is support him until he's ready to talk about it all and I will.

He lays back on the ground opening his eyes.

"Hey hey , you're okay." I say as he grabs me, giving me a hug softly crying. I nod at Owen and pa, ma rubbing my back to try calming me down.

I give him a napkin so he can wipe his mouth but he just stays buried in my chest. I run my hands through his hair.

I pick him up putting him in the back of the EMT truck. I hop in the back with him, not wanting to let him go either,

"Hey , they have to check you out again, we didn't know you had drugs in your system. I'm going to the hospital with you but I have to tell my chief first and turn in the car. "

"Carlos.. Will you come after?"

I nod and lay him down in the bed before getting out. I walk over to my chief and tell him my plans but he just brushes me off telling me I was able to go. I just needed to turn the car back in by 6 AM tomorrow. I said my thanks to him going back over to the EMT truck, I look at Michelle

"See he's right here. I need you to calm down okay? We have to get your blood pressure and take some blood as well. Carlos will hold your hand if it will help you?"

I grab his hand sitting beside him,

"Hey you've had a long day. Let's let Michelle do her job yes?"

"I just missed you. Hey and both of you stop treating me like a kid, I am a man!"

I smile at him , laughing a little Michelle just working quickly before he throws another tantrum. I nod at him to make him 1: Feel better and 2: Lay back down in the bed so Michelle can finish.

"Yes you are a baby, we're just trying to make sure you'll be okay in the long run. I have to return my car at 6, so I have all night with you."

He nods laying back down, as we head to the hospital.

Once we get there they take him into his room to let him rest. I'm by his side through and through. I hear his phone vibrating and grab it to cut it off, but the text on the screen stops me from doing so.

Mamacita🧚🏾♀️🐻- Hey , we got the plaques for our papers , text me when youre better so we can plan the dinner to tell Carlos, love you baby T. Get well soon!

I don't get my hopes up thinking this is ma, I press on the contact checking the number and it's ma's number. They got their papers! I don't have to live in the fear anymore of them getting taken away from me.

My eyes start to water just as TK wakes up.

"Baby, I'm fine. Why are you crying? Come here."

He slides over slowly making room for me in his bed and I lay down behind him wrapping him in my arms. After all the events of tonight, I needed that good news.

I kiss the top of his head not saying anything, I'll let them plan their dinner and I won't say anything. I know he wanted to surprise me , so I won't take that away from him.

"Just glad you're okay, go to sleep now, I'll be here when you wake up."

He leans back into my chest yawning into his hand. I rub up and down his arms lulling him to sleep in my arms right where he needed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey guys, how are you all doing?
> 
> Let me know how you liked the chapter.
> 
> Choose to stay , you got this baby!
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph❤️


	32. C/31 I hate hospital gowns

TK POV:

I hate this stupid gown, I can't wait to leave so I can take it off.

I feel his arms around me restricting my movement. I hear him groan behind me and I stop moving not wanting to wake him up. I slowly turn my head to look at my phone on the table and the time reads : 5AM, perfect timing don't you think?

I turn around waking Carlos up behind me,

"Hey, it's 5AM, I know you have to turn the car back into the station at 6. You have to get up baby." I say softly.

He leans closer to me hugging me softly still aware of my injuries,

"Thank you baby. I'll leave in a few though."

I wrap my hands around his neck pulling his head away from mine. His warm breath tickling the sensitive skin there.

"Nice try but you have to get up or you'll be late turning in the car papi."

He groans again, leaning up in the bed this time taking me with him. He opens his eyes slowly putting his hand over them to block the lights. I rub his chest softly pulling the top of his shirt down some. I lean down kissing his collar bone before sitting back up to look at him.

The look I see in his eyes makes my body heat up, everywhere. I lean my head down blushing, I don't know why I just did that.

"I have to go." He said lifting my head up to look at him as he speaks. I just nod leaning down to give him a hug, but he pulls me down farther into a kiss instead.

I moan softly into his mouth when he slants his face kissing me harder and deeper, I feel him everywhere. I slide down his body grinding my hips into his morning wood.

"We have to stop Carlos." I said disconnecting our lips, but still staying close to his face. We were just looking at each other now, he looks down at my lips licking his own.

Even though I think we should stop, I'm not really going to stop him. He grabs my hips pressing me harder into him and I moan looking into his eyes.

" Should we really?" He asks me and I shake my head at him putting more pressure on him now kissing his neck softly.

I softly bite into his skin kissing away the pain afterwards, I reach one hand under his shirt dragging my nails against his hard abs, damn I missed his body on mine.

How long has it been? I thought while I started pulling his shirt higher up on his body now needing more. I look up at him, his hooded eyes staring right back up at me as I smile goofily at him.

"No we shouldn't stop." I said sitting up straddling him now reaching down his body to unbuckle his belt from around his waist.

He's still in his uniform not going home to change so he could spend as much time with me as possible before he had to return the car to work.

He helps me as I pull the belt out of the hoops of his pants, sitting up and pulling it the rest of the way out putting the belt in the chair beside my bed he was sitting in before.

Once his belt is out of the way, I unbutton his slacks placing my hand into his briefs cupping him underneath them. I sit up in his lap kissing him our tongues colliding in my mouth as I lean his head back. I take my hand out of his pants grabbing the last button on his shirt undoing all of them starting from the bottom.

He suddenly flips us over changing our positions, now he's on top of me. I look up at him thinking about what he wants to do, running my hands up and down his strong arms that are caging his body into mine. He grabs my leg wrapping it around his waist before grinding into me. I feel almost all of him through the hospital gown.

{A/N:*Ugly ass hospital gowns always make you look boxy!*}

I wrap both of my legs around his waist, I grab his waist guiding his body back down on top of mine. I grab his head smashing his lips into mine, unable to deal with this torture. I pull his top off, ripping some of the buttons in the process, not in my right state of mind to care that I just fucked up the top half of his uniform.

Right now I just want him to fuck me up, I can't even think straight honestly.

Moving his mouth away from mine, he dips his head lower to kiss down my neck stopping me from taking off his white-t that was under his uniform shirt.

"Carlos, come here." I said not wanting his lips to leave mine so soon, but he only shakes his head at me kissing his way down my body.

I unwrap my legs from around his body , and he grabs my knee kissing up my inner thigh making me hot. I moan, grabbing some of the pillow that's behind me to cover my mouth not wanting anyone to come in here because of my loud moaning trying not to get caught.

I see his head disappear underneath my gown, his lips kissing across my waist line just above my boxers as he strokes me through them with his hand. I lean my head farther back into the pillow closing my eyes tightly.

"I love you,TK." He said, running his hands down my legs pulling them up, placing my feet flat on the bed.

"I love you too papi." I said as he pulled my boxers off my body putting them somewhere on the bed. I raise my hips to help him take them off, lowering them again when he puts his hands on my waist pulling my body back to the bed.

He slowly brings my shaft to his mouth before swallowing me to the hilt, I push my face into the pillow moaning loudly trying to be quiet at the same time. It didn't work because he took his mouth off my dick, hushing me.

"Hush baby, don't need the staff coming in here." I nod covering my mouth with one of my hands and placing the other in his hair as he puts me back into his mouth. I dig my nails into his hair trying not to cry out from the unexplainable pressure he was giving me right now.

"Shit" I say quietly, grabbing onto the sides of the bed when he starts to pick up the pace , my legs shaking in between his head. I lean my head forward watching the way his head bobbed up and down from the top of my gown. 

I moan, biting my lip as I feel him grab my ass lifting my waist up with one of his huge hands, I move closer to his mouth needing more of what he was giving me.

"Carlos, please I need you. Give me something, I need something...what are you doing?" I said once he layed completely down on the bed, he tells me to relax putting my legs over his shoulders and starting his torture with his mouth all over again.

As he sucked my dick, his hands softly caressed the inside of my thigh, my whole leg tingling under his touch. My body is hyper aware when he's even 10 feet away. He knows exactly what it wants and what it needs, sometimes more than me so I don't open my mouth again trusting him.

He has his arms under my ass caressing me as he sucked me off again, but takes one hand out from underneath the gown and puts it in my face. I know what's coming, I suck them how I sucked his dick when he was injured making his eyes flare in surprise and wanting.

He puts his hand back underneath us both slowly pressing them into my entrance, my body happily complying. He puts both fingers in my body now spreading them gently hitting my prostate twice making me pull his hair roughly as I try not to be loud like last time.

"Carlos, I....can't" I said panting trying not to moan out loud it was only 6 AM.

He puts my legs back on the bed coming from between my legs with his messy hair from my hands pulling on it and running through it. I bite my lip looking at him, he's hot as fuck. Shit.

I look up at him as he reaches above my head, his elbows resting beside my ears totally towering over me and dominating me at the same time.

I run my hand down his chest softly and take his white tee off. I then follow the same trail with my mouth that my hands traveled leaving small but lingering kisses behind. He puts his hand in my hair pulling my head back when I get to the top of his pants. I groan but stop when he starts speaking to me in that deep lustful voice he always has when were intimate,

"Yes you can baby. Just relax for me, bite into the pillow behind you. You'll be done soon, but until then pillow baby."

He reaches behind me grabbing the pillow, kissing my neck on the way as I relax into the other two pillows that are still behind me. He puts the small pillow on my chest, biting my neck softly.

"Bite it just like that, okay?" He said and all I could do is nod the sting from his bite on my neck causing a wave of heat to spread over my whole entire body. I close my eyes trying to get through the feeling, closing my legs slightly around his head involuntarily.

He kisses up my stomach, using his other hand to untie the two bows at the back of my gown. The fabric dropping exposes my whole body to the harsh and cold air in the room, making me shiver.

Still kissing up my stomach, he brings my nipple into his mouth softly tugging at it driving me crazy. I press myself harder into him, but he still keeps torturing my nipple. He only stops when he moves onto the other one giving it the same treatment.

At this point, my body is stiff from being brought to the edge and not being able to fall over it a multitude of times.

I'm so sexually frustrated that I could cry right now.

I put my hands in his hair, my back arching as his mouth travels down south once again. My body becomes aware, my dick jumps in excitement against his stomach which makes him smile.

I moan when he flips me over, pulling me closer to him at the same time. The pillow I had falling in between our bodies, and I put it underneath my stomach as a cushion.

"TK, baby just relax. I will get you there okay my love?"

I arch into his hands as he runs them over my ass, pushing my body back on his hands showing him what I wanted and he gives it to me voluntarily.

He put both of his fingers slowly into my channel,spreading me gently since we don't have lube here. I put my face into my pillows moaning into them, he pulled one of my arms away from my face, bending it behind my back allowing him control of my entire upper body.

He lines the head of his shaft to my entrance , making me excited again. Once he enters me almost half way, I push all the way back into him, my back still arched. I used my other arm to bring a pillow to my mouth trying to muffle the loud moan that I let out since all of him was in me.

He was thick and long, and I couldn't be happier to have him in my life. The sex is just a bonus, I need to get more comfortable with him still.

I reached behind my body to rub up and down his thigh, shifting slightly, taking some of him out of me , but he held my hips, stopping my movement, dropping my arm in the process.

I groan pushing my ass back into him, harder this time silently telling him to let me move. But when he slaps my ass whispering in my ear, I stop trying to take control knowing he does it so much better than me.

"Stop baby, you do what I say not the other way around, got it?"

I nod putting my face into the pillows in front of me as he starts to move slowly in and out of me. He wraps his hands around my hips more firmly this time, I lean back into him thinking that his grip might leave marks.

But who was going to see them except the two of us? No one. So I don't say anything to him, letting him get his pleasure wherever he needs it from my body.

I belong to him, soul, mind and body anyways.

He leans over my back biting my ear making me whimper out in wanting. He is such a tease, I thought. He puts his hands on my stomach pulling my upper body straight up. My back is moving against his chest in this position, he's pulling me down on top of his dick stretching me to what feels like my max.

I moan softly, laying my head back on his shoulder , needing somewhere to rest it. He moves one of his hands to the front of my body wrapping his hands around my dick stroking me to the rhythm that he set thrusting into me.

I feel my body shudder twice before I release all over the sheets of my bed. He lowers my body back onto the bed, and I arch my back putting my ass up for him, since he hasn't finished yet.

He came a few minutes later, as I pushed back into him against his final thrust, my whole body shaking with the aftershocks of his release. I lay down on my stomach as he pulls out of me for the final time, making me hiss.

I look at him as he walks to the bathroom inside my room , grabbing a small towel to wipe himself off with. I lay my head on the pillows , but he lifts my head up, turning my body over to wipe me down. I smile softly at him, as he comes closer to me to peck my lips. He uses another towel to wipe my face and my neck, being cautious of my injuries and the couple of small band-aids I did have on my face.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed , watching his cute ass walk back to the bathroom to put the towels away. I smirk at him, biting my lip again.

"Nice ass papi!" I say smiling widely at him, I get up but my legs feel like jell-o and that's not from my injuries either if you know what I mean.

"It's your ass baby. But thank you anyways weirdo." He said, making me smile at his perfect figure walking towards me. I stretch my arms to him inviting him back into the bed with me , but I know that he has to go.

"I'm going to come back and pick you up around 10, yes? I have to run a few errands and stop by ma's so she can sew these buttons back on my shirt. Why I need another uniform top is not a conversation I want to have with my boss." I blush at him , remembering that I did that.

"Sorry papi, heat of the moment." He laughs at me nodding , he's not mad thankfully.

"I know, Love you and stay put here so you don't hurt anything else ok?"

I nod, kissing him and then giving him a hug before he left.

It's 5:45 AM , so he still has time to turn in the car and we got to be intimate.

Best morning ever if you ask me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babiessss, this chapter though??🥵🥵
> 
> Comment how you liked it let me know !
> 
> Keep going , you got this baby.
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> -xo,Steph.❤️


	33. C/32 Spells of dizziness

Carlos POV:

I make my way down the quiet halls of the hospital with a small smile on my face. I nod at the receptionist thanking her for letting me stay with TK past visiting hours last night shaking her hand. She waves me off telling me she just hopes he gets better and I nod in agreement.

From the events of this morning though, I think he's going to be ok. He seemed like he was himself again, maybe not fully but almost I hope.

But it could have been the drugs still wearing off, the thought making me sick. If it was the drugs then I took advantage of him without even knowing it.

I walk to my car getting dizzy at the thought holding on to my door for a few seconds, waiting for my head to stop spinning. I opened my eyes pulling on the door and got in. I sat down once again trying to clear my head.

What am I going to do? How do you even talk to someone about that, there's no right way to start a conversation like that. I give up putting my keys into the car, and make my way to the station.

5:53 , 7 minutes to spare I thought. I turned the keys in and went out back to go get my car. I see Vanya there talking on the phone and I just smile at her heading into my car. Then I hear Paul's voice on the other end of the phone, making me raise an eyebrow at her as she blushed.

What was going on between those two? Am I finally going to have another cop firefighter relationship other than me and TK? I get into the car smiling at her as I pull out of the parking lot.

First stop , Michelle's house. I need to ask her a few questions about the drugs that were given to TK. I cover my mouth truthfully wanting to vomit at the thought of his actions this morning being drug induced.

I pull into her driveway looking for her car but it must be out back since the lights to her office were on, I just park and walk in using my key.

"M!" I yelled trying to find her throughout the house and I hear the clicking of heels. I go into the living room after I take my shoes off at the door. I sit down seeing her in the kitchen dressed up.

I stare at her shocked a little, I don't remember the last time I saw her doing her makeup or wearing a dress for that matter.

"Where are you going ma'am?" I ask when she walks towards me sitting down on the couch beside me. She smiles at me rolling her eyes,

"With a friend, I was asked to be his plus one. Now, why are you here? Isn't TK still in the hospital? I didn't think you'd leave his side at all. Or did a nurse kick you out?"

She said her eyes showing me that she was really thinking too hard about this. I put my hands on hers bringing them down to her lap. She makes me nervous when she starts talking with her hands like that. I shake my head stopping her from speaking.

"I came here to talk to you about TK. What would be some side effects of the drugs that he was given?" Her eyes clear in understanding as she starts to think to herself.

"There will be nausea, headaches, back aches, soreness, horniess, cravings and itching. Some things like that , since he's an addict he will probably only get the main three though. Nausea, horniess, and headaches. Are you preparing yourself to take care of him or something."

I put my hand over my mouth, walking to the nearest bathroom in her house. I bent over the toilet throwing up. The vomit smell made me throw up again, this time coming with a headache as well and dizziness.Michelle followed me to the bathroom and once I was finished she handed me a warm towel to put on my forehead and a paper towel to wipe my mouth off.

I choose to rinse out my mouth before I wipe it. I don't know what I was thinking, I should have known something was off about him. It just seemed like we both wanted it, I have to talk to him when I take him back to my house later.

"So , you're going to tell me why you just threw up twice in my bathroom? You're the healthiest person I know. So what's the real reason you're here C?" She asked me to hand me a water bottle to sip on and relax the muscles in my throat as well.

"Something happened this morning with TK and now that you told me the symptoms and after effects of the drugs, I realized that I might have taken advantage of him. Just the thought made me sick, hence the reason I threw up once you confirmed that what I was speculating is reality. I don't know how I'm going to tell him. Will he even remember anything from this morning if the drugs are still wearing off?"

"Wait wait wait. You had sex with him-"

"How did you know that?" I was confused and she raised a brow at me, whatever that's not what's important right now. 

"That would be the only logical reason that you feel you took advantage of him. And to answer your other question no he won't remember anything that you both did this morning until tomorrow afternoon ish if he still has the drugs in his system. He still has to remember what happened in the house at the call before he can remember that you hooked up. Once he does remember though, make sure you sit down and have a talk with him. He is going to need some blanks filled in, and you need to be there for him during all of this."

I nod when she finishes speaking, pulling on my fingers gently as I think about what I am going to say to him.

"Thank you M. I'll let you get to your date- plus one. I will update you on how it goes with him, send a prayer up for me."

She smiles sadly at me nodding, "Where are you going?" I look at her rubbing my temples.

"I'm heading over to ma's I have to ask her to sew a few buttons back onto my uniform."

"You had wild jungle sex with TK?" I give her a look and she raises her hands in the air, "Too soon , I get it my bad. What reason are you going to give her about the buttons being off?"

I shake my head looking down at the ground once again, "I don't really konw. I'm just going to make something up on the fly. I need to speak with pa as well, they got their papers M. I don't have to live in fear anymore. I found out lastnight seeing the text from ma to TK's phone."

Her eyes get glassy as she comes over to hug me. I want to cry with her, but throwing up twice took a lot of energy out of me. I don't know if I'll make it over to ma's house after all. I rub her back , thanking her silently for being happy for me.

"That's amazing C. I know how relieved you are and happy."

I nod smiling at her, "The only thing is , I wasn't supposed to see it. So no one knows that I know. I need you to keep this secret for me M." She nods smiling at him, and then kisses me on the check.

"Your secret is safe with me, you know that C." I hug her softly again, getting dizzy for the third or fourth time today.

"Hey, can I just crash here instead? I'll be gone before 9:30, I have to go get TK because he's being released at 10 today." She shrugs me off getting up, adjusting her dress.

"C one last thing." She says as I stretch out on the couch laying my head on top of the soft pillows that she keeps here no matter what.

"Yes?" l pick my head up looking at her again, "How do my girls look?" I smirk at her before laughing quietly,

"They look amazing M. If I was straight I would date you for sure!"

She smiles at me winking before walking to the door and leaving, locking the door bhind herself.

I need to go the the guest bedroom, I look around and see the 20 step walk to the room breathing deeply as I prepare myself to make the journey. I grab my keys that fell out of my pocket and into the couch before getting up. I slowly lift my body up and walk five steps at a time taking breaks embetween each set of five. I eventually make it to the guest bedroom grabbing my phone. I set an alarm for 9:30 so I have enough time to go get TK from the hospital. I put my phone beside me as I knocked out for the first time today. 

I pull his gown off of his body wanting to see more of his skin. Even with the bruises all over his body, he was still the best man I have ever seen inside and out.

I switch our positions after taking his gown off. I bite his neck softly not wanting to break the sensitive skin, but enough to apply pressure. I grind into him as I look into his eyes, but I stop once I see he's crying. I quickly hold his face in my hands, trying to figure out what happened to make him cry and then Michelle's words echo in my head.

I get off of the bed , looking for his gown. Once I find it on the other side of the room, I walk towards him to put it back on his body but he flinches away from my hand.

I put the gown on his bed , dragging the chair away from him and sitting it by the door.

He starts scratching his arm and I want to stop him, but I don't know if I can see him flinch away from my touch again. I decide to suck it up, walking over to him grabbing his hand and putting it beside his body. He slowly reaches for his arm again and I realize I have to speak for him to listen.

"Don't do it again." I say emotionlessly when I move his hand the second time.

He looks up at me staring into my eyes, when a few tears come out of his. I feel like I'm watching my heartbreak, this man is half of my heart in living form my parents being the other half. I clench my fist and unball it. I rush to put his gown back on, sitting his body up to tie the bows on the back. Everytime I accidentally touch his skin, he starts shaking. I have to hold back my tears as I watch the love of my life flinch away from me in fear, I walk back to the chair in the corner.

"All done. Try not to scratch your arm okay?" He looks at me, tears still streaming down his face. I look at my shoes not being able to look him in his eyes when he's like this.

"I'm sor- sorry. I w- on't s-cra-tch my arm e-ev- ever again." He stuttered out. I felt a tear fall onto my jeans listening to the complete fear in his voice as he stuttured out the sentence.

A nurse comes in looking at me funny. I look at her and then put my head back down. She takes TK out of the room for testing I'm assuming. I lean back in the chair now looking at the ceiling.

The same nurse from earlier came back into the room with a police officer. I look at them confused,

"Um , you must have the wrong room. I'm Carlos Reyes, here to see Tyler Strand." then the nurse speaks,

"Yes officer, that's the man my patient was describing. He said that he was raped by him earlier this morning around 6 AM. We caught them on the cameras."

"Carlos Reyes, you are under arrest for the sexual assault and rape of Tyler Strand you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can be used against you in the court of law."

"No, I think you're talking about Alex, his ex boyfriend who used to abuse him. I was helping him."

The cop got closer to me putting his hand on his gun.

I bet if I was white he wouldn't be so trigger happy.

I get up putting my hands behind my back showing complete compliance. The cop kicks me in the back, my head hitting the whiteboard in the corner of the room above the chair I was just sitting in. I see blood onto my shirt and I freeze. I still don't do anything to respond knowing how trigger happy he is already by his demeanor. He continues to hit me after he handcuffs my hands behind my back,

"This is unjistifed. I'm a cop and people like you are the reason we get a bad rep from everyone else."

"Shut up faggot. You don't belong here." He punches me in the back of the head making me go unconscious.

I feel something pushing down on my shoulder and open my eyes slowly to see Michelle with her heels in one hand and pushing my shoulder with the other hand.

"Shit Carlos, I thought you were in a coma! How can you sleep that deeply?"

I shake my head getting up and looking at the time , 9:45 I still have time. I rush out of the bed putting my keys back in my pocket again heading for the door.

"Sorry M, bad dream I'll tell you everything later."

She nods holding my shoes up for me, I take them kissing her cheek before I head out the door deciding to drive in my socks not wanting to waste anymore time.

I arrive at the hospital with five minutes to spare, quickly putting my shoes on I check in and walk into his room. He's putting his jacket on, but he looks in pain so I help him but he flinches away from me.

I take a few steps back looking at the door for the police like in my dream. This can't be happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: cliff hanger???
> 
> Find a reason to stay, you got this boo!!
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph❤️


	34. C/33 River of relief

Carlos POV:

"Oh shit Carlos, I didn't know you were even here. I missed you, I thought you would be here by 9:30 tops. Were you busy?" I just looked at him blinking a few times to see if he was real. I reach my arms out touching his hair and he smiles up at me. I relax not even remembering to answer his question.

I pull him in for a hug and he hugs me back just as tightly, without flinching might I add. I put my face in his hair breathing in the vanilla scent from his shampoo. That dream felt so much like real life, I swear I felt the fabric when I was tying the bows on his gown in it.

"I need to talk to you,but right now I just need to stay in this moment with you for a second." He looks up at me nodding as we rock slowly back and forth in the middle of his hospital room.

"Thank you for existing." He said quietly as we rocked, I rubbed his back he's so strong. We both are that's why we were meant to be together we are the extra 10% added to our own 100%.

"Thank you for trusting me wholeheartedly. With your mind, your body, your past , your secrets and your fears. You are truly one of a kind and I'm so blessed I'm able to call you mine and love you.I am madly in love with you and I realize that our jobs put us in harm's way everytime we leave our houses but I just want you to know how strong you are. You make me want to be better because you only deserve the best. I'm sorry that sometimes I'm not able to hold you when you need it with our long hours were both so tired sometimes we forget to say I love you too eachother before we fall asleep. But I promise to say it to you everyday from now on. You are the sunshine in my night TK Strand , and I need you to know that." I wipe the tears that have fallen staining his beautiful face.

I grab a tissue and wipe his face once again. He frowns at me starting to cry again when I kiss his forehead. My emotional baby, I love him so much.

"I don't know what to say Carlos, you make me so happy I can't even explain it."

I nod, still wiping his face gently. "And you don't have to either. Come on let's get out of here so we can go home and talk."

He nods at me zipping his jacket up, we walk to the front desk signing the discharge papers. He grabs them, initialing them and we walk to the exit heading for my car. I opened his door for him, helping him get in since his arm was still bothering him.

"Good?" I say as he sits in the car adjusting the seat and he nods back at me smiling softly, "Yes, good. Thank you."

I jog across the front of the car, seating myself in the driver's seat. I reach to put one hand on his thigh, but I quickly pull my hand away remembering he might still be under the influence of the drugs.

I grip the wheel with both hands to stop myself from touching him at all. It's better this way until I tell him what happened this morning.

I feel him staring at me , his eyes bruning a hole through my head as I drive towards my house. I ignore him though knowing if I look at him he's going to ask why I'm gripping the steering wheel as tightly as I am. My knuckles were quickly turning white from the harsh grip.

I lossen it hoping he would look away from me once he saw and would drop the conversation. I pull into my driveway stopping in the middle of the circle locking the door. I get out quickly to open his door and help him out.

I carried him into the house not wanting to risk anything happening to him while he was walking up the stairs. I put him down once we were at the front door. He unties his shoes after putting his keys in the bowl. I watch him making sure nothing happens and once he's done I do my own.

He walked into the kitchen, while I sat down in the living room. I think better of it though going into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I look in the mirror thinking to myself. This is going to be the worst part. Telling him how I thought it was him responding to me and that it was really the drugs. I spit out my toothpaste, rinsing my mouth and leaving the bathroom.

I come out to see TK sprawled out on the couch rubbing his hands over the pillow like a little kid. He's so cute and I hate to burst his bubble of innocence but I really need to talk to him about everything.

"Papi come and lay with me!" I smile at him shaking my head, "I have to talk to you baby."

He sits up crossing his legs underneath himself indian style, he tends to do that everytime we have a sit down conversation. It let's me know that he wants to hear what I have to say and he's willing to listen as well. It's a comfroting feeling honestly.

"Okay , what's up?" I sat down in the love chair opposite of him, trying to gather my thoughts before I said something without thinking.

"This morning, we had sex at the hospital." He nods looking at me, I keep going, seeing as he didn't react.

"Was it the drugs that made you attracted to me then?" I said bluntly but still trying to be gentle.

TK POV:

"Oh, I see what this is about. No it was me, I actually don't know why I kissed you on your collar bone this morning. I know that started everything ,and I'm sorry if in anyway I made you feel pressured that you had to have sex with me then. I am completly off of the drugs and they are no longer in my system. I had a test done last night and they all came back negative. I was completely sober when you whorshipped my body."

I said looking at his hands as he pulled on his fingers, making me smile a little bit. He exhales deeply putting his hands over his face. I looked at him unsure of what he wanted me to do or say, I mean what did he think he did this morning?

"I thought......I took advantage...... of you while-while you still had the drugs in y-your system." He said, his voice giving away that he was crying. I rise to my feet going over to console him , sitting in his lap I wipe his tears.

"No baby, I was completely sober and wanted you just as much as you wanted me."

He has his face buried in my chest as I straddle his lap , his arms like a band of steel around my torso refusing to let me go which was fine there was no way I was going to move anyways.

There is nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with him , helping him through his feelings. Now that he told me how he was feeling, I understood why he wasn't touching me or looking at me in the car. He thought he had practically raped me since I wasn't in my right state of mind while we were intimate.

"You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You are the love of my life Carlos. I won't let you feel such bad things about yourself for something that you wouldn't have known. I was sober papi. Look at me so I know you are hearing me please."

He took his head off of my chest looking at me ,his red eyes making me kiss him softly.

"I was sober, you did nothing wrong." He kisses my cheek putting his head back into my chest as I rub his back. He's an overthinker so I know it will take time for him to accept what he did to himself.

I play in his hair when my phone rings. I don't make a move to get up but Carlos lets go of my body.

"I'm not moving papi."

"I'm okay TK please go get the phone." My heart hurts at how quiet his voice becomes after he cires. I nod going into the kitchen to get my phone, it's ma.

I step into his bedroom not wanting him to hear , just in case it was about his surprise dinner.

"Hey baby T, we're on the way over just wanted to give some kind of heads up to you and Carlos. Just in case you guys need some time to look presentable if you know what I mean."

I could hear the smirk in her voice and I blush a deep red, little does she know we already did all of that this morning.

"Youre crazy ma. I'll let him know, love you!"

"Love you too baby T , bye!"

"Bye ma."

I walk back into the living room looking for Carlos, but he's gone. I look around the house when he jumps out of the closet scaring me.

"Got you baby. I love you." his eyes are still somewhat red from his crying earlier and I kiss him.

"I love you too. Ma and pa are coming over. She just called me asking us to look presentable. Little does she know huh?"

He blushes putting his hand on his forehead, but I see the small smile with his beautiful dimples peeking through on his face.

"You have a beautiful smile, did you know that?" I dazed at how perfect he was. And he's mine, I can hug him, kiss him, have sex with him all of that whenever I wanted too.

"Thank you baby. I appreciate it." I nod pulling him into our room seeing his uniform on the bed, I looked up at him.

"The buttons are still missing , what happened?"

" I started feeling dizzy once I left the hospital and crashed at M's before I came to get you from the hospital. I came here to drop the uniform off.."

He was pulling on his fingers telling me there was more to the story but we heard a knock on the door, so I had to drop it for right now.

I open the door smiling at the fruit bowl in ma's hands and the card in pa's. Damn it, me and Carlos are both going down emotional roller coasters today. I stand at the door shocked , letting my tears fall on my face.

"You took care of me while I was healing , and we both know how much not being able to do anything can suck so we brought you a card and a fruit bowl. Don't cry baby T." pa says as they both reach in to give me a hug. I wipe my tears on the back of my hand letting them in the door.

I feel Carlos grab my waist and I lean into him, thankful for his support. See he does hold me when I need him too, I don't know why he thinks so low of himself. I take one of his hands off my waist kissing it and then placing it back. He kisses the back of my head in response.

We walk behind them into the living room, sitting on the love seat.

"Carlos, we're going back to Brazil for independence day, we need you to watch the house while we're gone. Also, your amazing boyfriend TK helped us get our papers, so we can leave now and not have to worry about whether we are going to be able to make it back. To you TK, thank you for being such a good influence on our boy. You both deserve the world , and each other so I'm happy you are in each other's lives."

Carlos got up to hug ma and papa and I stayed back letting them have their moment, but papa pulled me into their hug anyways. I smile up at Carlos as he winks down at me.

This man is the love of my life I thought.

I suddenly get a major headache sitting down, I close my eyes against the pain but regret it when I start to remember the events from the day before in that house..

Great, more visits with the police. I decide I won't tell Carlos until tomorrow letting him bask in this moment with his family.

I wasn't going to let anything ruin this moment for him, especially not Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Hey babies, first day of the new upload schedule.... How are you all doing?
> 
> Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Keep going, you got this baby!
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> -xo, Steph.


	35. C/34 We both are

Carlos POV:

I see TK sit down on the couch slowly and I look over to see what's wrong but I have a strong feeling that he remembers what happened the other night when he put his hands on his head leaning back into the couch slowly. I wait to see if he's ready to talk about it now, looking back to ma and papa but when he comes back to join us he's smiling.

I kind of gaze at him in concern, I think he's trying to act like everything is normal so that he doesn't ruin this moment with my parents, but I already talked to papa about it, ma is the only one who doesn't know that I already knew.

And TK of course.

I hug him softly whispering in his ear, "It's okay if you're not ready to talk about it, but don't hide your pain from me either." I squeeze his waist the same way I did when we first met feeling him nod against my shoulder.

I release him and he hugs ma and papa saying he has a headache,

"I don't want to ruin this moment, I just have a headache so I'm going to go lay down, I love you ma and papa!"

He kisses them each on the cheek just as ma grabs her purse, "We still need to pack anyways, you can't ruin anything baby T. Carlos, please text Marlo about taking care of the animals while we're gone ,yes?" I nod at her kissing her on her cheek when we hug,just like TK.

"Pa, are you sure that you'll be safe to travel after your accident? I wouldn't want you to re-injure yourself?" He smiles at me grabbing my shoulder,

"Mijo, if it were up to you, I know I would never be healed enough to do anything. I need you to stop worrying about me and live life. There are so many things you miss out on while you are planning to do the next thing, or worried about something else that has already passed. We love you mijo, but you know I don't pack until the morning of so we're going to get going. Your mother has an ungodly amount of clothes to pack and shoes, but don't get me started on her makeu-"

"Pablo!"

"Okay, but yes we have to go mijo, love you!"

"Love you guys too. Please be safe during your trip, I don't want to have to take a last minute flight to come and get you guys I will lose my sh- crap okay? So humor me yes?"

TK and papa smile at me while ma has her eyebrows raised while looking at me. I covered my mouth backing away from her at the same time.

"Carlos Javier Reyes, you watch your mouth around me do you understand?"

I nod at her, she has me backed up against a wall. Even though she's almost a foot shorter than me, her heels give her some extra height. She took one off though as she walked towards me making me move away from her faster, just to be trapped anyways.

"Yes ma'am." She walks out the door , papa just laughing at me as he follows her out. He gets into the drivers side of the car and she is the passenger, he has a pet peeve of never letting ma drive if he was there, like I said, he's very old fashioned and believed that the man should take care of his wife in every aspect.

He also absolutely loves to spoil her , they have one of the best relationships I have ever seen and I will always try to live up to the man that papa is for ma. I want to be that one day for TK. Even though he isn't a woman, he is my life partner and I want to spoil him like he deserves.

I know that we need to talk again before I am able to plan a date, just to see where he is mentally, not wanting to push or force anything on him.

I reach for his hand as we stand at the doorway looking at ma and papa pull into the traffic on the road just off of my driveway. He wraps his arm around my waist as I wrap mine around his shoulder.

"Can we talk later? I don't want to ruin your night. I know how important your parents getting their papers was to you and I don't want to taint that moment with something that happened in the past. But I know I will eventually have to talk about it, and I'm not scared I just don't think you're ready to hear about what he did to me while I was drugged up in that hell hole."

I close the door, turning the lock as well. I turn us both around and walk into the bedroom. I let go of him ,walking into the bathroom and closing the door.

I need to do this. I tell myself looking into the mirror, I have to do this for TK and for me as well. I have to be able to attest to his story in court when he testifies against Alex. I have to be there for him during this, he's always here for me and now is the ultimate test for me.

I knew his ex was an asshole, but how much of an asshole could he be to give a recovering addict drugs to the point that they black out not remembering anything until days later. I splash water on my face patting it dry with a towel, I cut the light off opening the door.

"Papi? You okay, you never usually close the door. We can talk about this in the morning if it will make you more comfortable?"

I shake my head at him, motioning for him to sit on the bed. I have to stand, and even if I do sit right now, I know after I hear some of the things that he did to TK I would want to stand up anyways.

He looks at me and then looks down once he realises that I won't be sitting beside him. I could physically see him curl into himself,almost like he was shutting down right in front of my face. I moved kneeling in front of him to bring his face up to see mine, what was this man feeling right now? I'll never know.

"Hey baby, what's wrong?" He shakes his head not saying anything. I lean in kissing him softly on the lips , he grabs me by the top of my shirt pulling me into his body. I kiss the top of his chest softly rubbing his back.

"Are you disgusted with me?" I pull away from him to look in his eyes, and I understand. He thought I didn't want to sit beside him because I was disgusted with him, instead I just needed something to do to calm me down while he spoke

"No baby, I could never I love you too much for that. Nothing in your past including the people in it could ever make me disgusted with you. I only care about your past when I have to protect you from it okay? I'm going to be here for you throughout this whole journey. alright? I have your back no matter what, just trust me and we'll be alright."

"Okay, but can you cuddle me? I need you to help me get through telling you everything."

I nod, getting into the bed pulling the covers back and putting them at the end of the bed. I'm pretty sure we were both going to be too hot if the cover was going to be on us, he was just going to have to survive off of my body heat for now.

I wrap my arm around his waist gently putting his healing body in front of mine as we layed down, putting his legs between mine, his face towards me the whole time I'm getting him situated. Once I'm done, I look at him grabbing his hand and putting it beside our faces so he knows I'm here with him when he recalls all of the I'm pretty sure filthy things Alex did to his body.

I use my other hand running it through his soft hair before resting it on his cheek.

"Whenever you're ready, baby. I'm going to be right here as you go through every memory, okay?"

"Promise?" I hate how small his voice is, this beautiful man has been let down by a lot of the people he loved in his life and it makes me very sad for him. So I know it's hard for him to trust me and I understand where he's coming from but that doesn't mean hearing his unsure tiny voice doesn't still hurt me a little bit.

I trust him with my life and I hope one day he can do the same. I don't know when that will be , but we have come so close to death together so many times , you'd think our trust would be top tier,but it's not.

Sometimes it can be really frustrating how he gives me a few worried glances after I say something sweet to him, it's like he doesn't believe me. I hate the feeling of someone thinking I'm lying because I hate being lied to.

Liars are like venomous snakes that have the ability to camouflage. They are dangerous, but you aren't able to see them until it's too late. And I hate being put into that category with anyone, especially TK. He was supposed to be my partner for life, but he doesn't even trust me when I call him beautiful or tell him how strong he is.

He has only recently let me see him cry, and I can't tell if his situation was so stressful that he slipped up around me or he decided to let his walls down.

That's why he's so complicated. I just want to be happy with him forever , but if he doesn't trust me what can we really do? What are we even doing right now? I'm trying to be there for him right now while he faces his fears, aka Alex the asshole. He's strong with or without me and I need him to know that.

"Breathe with me , when I count to 10 you need to slowly start talking about what Alex did to you that night , okay? Let me know If I'm going too fast or too slow ,all of this is about control. You need to listen to and focus on the tone of my voice. When we talk about it like this, your nerves should be a lot calmer. Are you ready to start baby?"

I whispered in his ear softly, he started twisting his bracelet as I spoke, the arm that it was clipped onto is in my hand. When he tried to reach for it though, I stopped his hand with mine halfway. "In order for us to do this, you have to communicate with me okay?"

He nods closing his eyes tightly , his breathing starts to accelerate and I quickly start counting, "One......two......three, you're doing amazing baby just stay calm for me alright? You can do this,four...five.......six......keep going only a few more babe, seven.....eight......nine, almost there babe! Ten."

TK POV:

Here goes nothing I thought, the worst would be that he looks at me differently for this , but I needed to do this for him and myself. He deserves to know the truth and I would never hide anything from him. He's my other half, he would just find out either way.

"He sta-starts undressing me, he undoes my belt reaching for my top first. I push him away but he calls a guard on me, slapping me in the face for trying to resist him. The guard comes behind me , wrapping a rope around my hands and wrist tightly. I tried to twist my hands around to make it looser but it wouldn't budge , so I gave up on that idea trying to find another quickly. Alex though, had other plans as he continued what he was doing before , undressing me this time in a rush. He must have been scared I would be able to unknot the rope and stop him from touching me again."

I look up at Carlos his grip on my hand loosening by the second now and I try to stay calm as I speak,

"Carlos breathe, I can't have you dying on me." I start pushing on his shoulder but nothing works, he doesn't move at all and I start to freak out.

Shit!

Phone police,

ambulance someone!

"911 what's your emergency?"

"Grace! This is TK, Carlos isn't breathing , and he won't wake up. What do I do?"

"Stay calm TK, Michelle is three minutes out. Until then, do chest compressions ,it will save time for when she does get their got me?"

"Yes, thank you."

"He's going to be alright TK. You can do this."

"Thank you so much, I'm starting now."

"Okay, Michelle is one minute out now, keep going, she'll be their soon TK."

I nod at the phone dropping it to do CPR on him, his body doesn't respond but I hear the front door open, and then I see Michelle.

I move out of the way letting her and her team work without a distraction, this is Carlos's life we're talking about. I don't know If I can deal, this is all too much but I refuse to leave him by himself.

I hear Michelle speaking but I only hear a little bit of what she actually said, because I block the rest out.

"Hey needs three shocks stat, he's not responding to the compressions at all."

I sit down on the couch beside the bed with my shaking hands on my face trying not to let the tears fall.

I have to be strong, shaking my hands and wiping my face. I get up and follow them into the truck holding his hand all the way to the hospital.

"You're strong, we both are" His voice in my head repeats to me over and over again.

Yes we both are.

{Hey babies, I know I know I just love cliffhangers <3

Find a reason to stay , you got this baby!

I love you all deep.

-xo,Steph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Hey babies, I know I know I just love cliffhangers <3
> 
> Find a reason to stay , you got this baby!
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> -xo,Steph.


	36. C/35 The ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise chapter!! This is just a thank you chapter for you all. This "summer" has been a crazy one, and I'm glad to say that I've been able to spend almost half of it with you all! You are all so amazing, and you check in on me and you support me which is all I ask. In return you all ask me to write, so this one is for you all!
> 
> *BTW* I start school tomorrow, if anyone is with me, you can get through this school year you got this baby!
> 
> xoxoxoxo, Steph :)

Carlos POV:

As he speaks, it feels like my chest is caving in on me. At first I think I was just over reacting to what he's telling me, but then I can't move my body or speak at all. Even though I know I can't feel anything I try to squeeze his hand but everytime I do, it's like my grip loosened even more than before. I eventually stop, feeling myself slip into a black pit, my eyes closing..

The next time I open my eyes I'm in a completely different place, I look around at the vibrant tree's and the beautiful colors that are all around me but I stop when I see a figure coming my way..

I see Emily walking towards me crying, I reach out to her surprised I was able to move my body now. I am so happy to see her, but how am I doing it? Unless I'm dead too? I reach out trying to feel my arms but I can't. Everytime I did, it felt like I was touching the air. I put my arms down not being able to look at them anymore. 

Shit! How did this happen? I thought I just blacked out or something, I didn't think I was going to die. If I would have known, I would have fought harder to keep my eyes open, I can't leave TK. But I want to be with my sister again, she is my best friend and these almost six years have been hell without her. TK does take away some of the pain though, but sometimes it's not enough...I just wish I could have them both.

I start walking to Emily again, I rub her back or think I am atleast as she cries. What's wrong Em?

"You aren't supposed to be here Carlos! And you know that so WHY ARE YOU?"

I looked at her taken aback at how furious she was with me, It's not like I choose to be here, I didn't kill myself intentionally! I take my hand off of her back since she stands up in front of me now.

"Why Carlos?" Her red eyes cut me deep, reminding me of my last moments with TK talking about that asshole Alex. I can't believe that was the last thing we talked about! I should have told him I loved him more and told him how strong he was as well. I don't know how this is going to work, I love them both but it's not like I have a choice. I can't go back to him even if I wanted to.

"I think I went into a lucid dream and then I went into a stroke because I was stressing my body out trying to move while I was in the lucid dream. I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's how I passed."

"Do you even care?"

I nod looking at the ground beneath the both of us, the grass was a neon green here. I assumed we were in heaven since Emily was here and she was too pure to have gone anywhere else. I don't know how I made it up here though. I thought with me being gay and all, I would for sure be in hell right now , but look at me. My bare feet on this beautiful grass, it feels like silk instead of the prickly grass that was back on earth.

"You can't be here Carlos. I love you to death and you know that but we both know it's not your time yet. We all have to go someday but your day is not today Javier! Don't fight me on this either.. I just want the best for you and TK.."

"It wasn't yours either, did you forget about that Emily?! Life isn't fair and I learned that once you got taken away from me !" I blurted but then I took a step back and thought for a second.

She whispered the last part and my heart felt like it was about to burst in my chest,

"You know about TK?"

I asked her looking for a reaction but she only blushed giving me little to nothing of what she knows. I smile at her softly, that's what this is really about. She was playing matchmaker even in the after life.

"I love him Carlos, I love him enough to let you go back to him. He doesn't deserve to live without you there, just like you didn't deserve to live without me. I'm sorry about not leaving my husband after he started beating on me ,but I can't change the past. You can do this, you know I will always be with you in spirit."

I nod at her , starting to cry softly. I missed my baby sister and I'm leaving her again! I've waited almost 6 years to spend 6 minutes with her, my two worlds are colliding and one of them is giving up their time so that the other can have more time with me.

My considerate Emily, always wanting the best for everyone.

"I love you Carlos, I think about you everyday and I pray for your strength. I've been praying for years now and I'm glad you finally have TK in your life, I wish I was able to be there so we could get into trouble together and you would have to come to our rescue like you always do, but life is unpredictable. It's full circle for me really seeing you here and being able to talk to you. Remember to always try and find the positive Carlos. I love you forever, goodbye my brother."

Her body starts to fade once she starts talking and sooner than later I'm in this beautiful place all by myself. I don't really know how to get back but I do know that I have to find a way. I wouldn't let Em's continuous prayers go to waste. I was going to make my way back to earth to see him, even if it means just in his dreams.

I start walking on the soft grass looking for something other than the trees that I was surrounded with. I turn around feeling the wind blow across my body making me shiver. I ralised I was only in a long piece of fabric wrapped around my body making me look very similar to a mummy. I touched the fabric, but it was rough compared to the grass. I try to unwrap myself feeling something underneath the cloth, I finally come down to some shorts. I go for this look seeing as no one is around to stop me and I'm hot.

I feel the wind again, turning back around the way that I was originally facing but then I see it. A black hole in the distance. Should I really go back into a black hole since that's what got me here in the first place? I think so, at this rate I would try any stupid measure to get back to the love of my life right now. 

I ran as fast as I could towards the black hole but it started closing quickly when I was only a few feet away from it, moving faster now I jumped head first into the black hole all of my body thankfully making it through.

The first thing I hear is the beeping of the hospital equipment , making me open my eyes to see my aurrondings but I'm disappointed when I don't see anyone in the room. My body is so sore, I can only move my head and hands very slowly though. I look over at the time on the clock,

6:39 AM. Thursday. Great, I would probably have to wait all day to see him now since he's at work, I close my eyes just as the door opens.

TK POV:

6:37 AM, shit I forgot to text dad I wasn't going to make it into work today. Just as I was about to text him, he called me first. I look over at Carlos , his chest rising up and down softly now assuring me he was alive.

MIchelle and her team did chest compressions until they were able to get him hooked up onto a breathing regulator but in the middle of the night, they were able to take it off because he could breath by himself.

I stepped out of the room opening the door softly and quietly so that he wouldn't wake up. As I step into the hallway, I answered the phone speaking first,

"Sorry dad , I forgot to tell you I won't make it to work today. Carlos-"

"Is in the hospital I know. Michelle came over late last night when her shift was over to tell me about it. Are you okay? Is he okay? I know you must be going through hell right now. Is there any changes?"

"I'm alright, thank you for understanding. He can breath on his own now without the machine, so that's a plus."

"That's good TK, I have to go sign these papers, please stay safe and when he wakes up tell him the 126 is praying for his recovery."

"Thanks dad, I will love you."

"Love you too son."

When he hangs up the phone I wipe my face before I walk back into the room. I hear the machine make a sharp beeping sound and I look up at Carlos worried, but I was surprised to see those beautiful brown eyes staring right back at me. I walked towards him with tears in my eyes,

"Hey Carlos, how are you feeling?" He just looked at me shaking his head. He puts his hand out towards me and I take it coming closer to him. "TK, I love you and you are one of the strongest people I know. I need you to stay strong even if I'm not here okay?"

I nod some of my tears falling, why is he talking in past tense like he's already dead? I squeeze his hand not being able to say anything after that, I don't know how to handle this, should I even be feeling like this? I have no idea.

"Come here baby. I love you so much ."

'I'm not getting in bed with you Carlos, you're in urgent care right now. They'll kick me out if they see us both in the bed. It's yours papi, just lay here and heal for me. My dad says that the 126 is praying for your recovery. He called me a few minutes before you woke up worried about you and me. But I was just worried about you."

"I saw Emily, I met her in heaven and we had a conversation. She totally adores you, she also said that she's been praying for someone like you to come into my life for a few years now. She helped me get back so that I could be with you. She wishes she could be here to meet you and get into trouble with you, having me getting you both out of whatever you did. I missed her so much TK, but now I'm content. She's happy for me and she loves you, I couldn't have asked for anything better. I was scared our last conversation was going to be about Alex but now that I'm back, I really just want to hold you."

I walk beside the bed, leaning over him softly as I hug him. I hold back my tears giving him a sad smile as he talks about Emily, but when he gets to the part about trouble I laugh softly smiling at him fully this time.

Yes that would have been so true, she seems to be a free spirit like me. I love her even more now that I know she loves me.

I kiss the top of his head softly looking at his eyelashes as he blinks, "I love you too Carlos Javier Reyes. Emily is watching over the both of us." I pull away from him sitting at the end of the bed as we talk softly.

He was telling me stories about when he and Emily were growing up and how he always would get her out of trouble with their parents taking the blame most of the time, my heart expanding looking at this man's smile and laugh again after the last few weeks.

The door opens making me turn around to see Michelle with a gift basket in her hands. I look back at Carlos smiling as he just shakes his head smirking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babies , how are you all doing?
> 
> I hope you are doing well and that you've found a reason to stay!
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph❤️


	37. C/36 SIKE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on now y'all, you know me 😏 . Enjoy the chapter!

TK POV:

"Hey M, how you doing?" She glares at him, but he holds his arms out to her regardless, she comes into them sniffling softly and I know exactly how she feels.

"Don't do that shit again Javier!" He rubs her back up and down, we both know how overprotective they are of each other, their bond is something that I wish I had with a bestfriend. I thought I had one in Al- neverminded let's not get into that.

"I won't , things just got stressful and my body couldn't handle it. But I am back now, so let's live in the present, yes?"

She nods, pulling away, and I give her a tissue to wipe underneath her eyes. She uses it patting under them so she doesn't smear or mess up her makeup. I move off of the bed to go and get my phone , I need to update my dad like he asked me.

An incoming call on my phone stops me though, this number isn't saved but I recognize the last four. There's no way this is her, it can't be...

I answer because daddy didn't raise a bitch.

"Hello?"

"TK, can we talk?"

"Who is this and how do you know my name?"

"I made your name Tyler, who do you think it is."

"No you didn't , my dad made my name. So once again , who is this?"

"It's mom. Can we talk now?"

"No."

I hang up the phone and put it back down on the chair. I turn around walking back over to Carlos's bed but I see both of them looking at me. Carlos had concern in his eyes while Michelle was smirking, I shook my head at the both of them sitting back down at the end of the bed again.

"Someone is having a bad morning yes?" I look at Michelle and smile this time, "It's a lot better now that he's awake. My "mom" just called me wanting to "talk" but I have nothing to say to her."

"Oh shit TK, have you told your dad? Maybe he'll know why she was trying to come back into your life?"

"No way am I going to tell him, they hate each other's guts. I'd just rather handle this myself quietly." They nod undertsandingly at me as I twist my bracelet back and forth anxious and worried that she has my number now. I may have to change it, if she calls again I will have to no question.

But why does a part of me want to hear what she has to say? Why does part of me want an explanation on why she left dad and me when I was only seven? So many why's that won't get answered because I'm not going to see her no matter how I feel.

That part of me just needs to shut the fuck up one or either find something else to feel something for because I am supposed to have no feeling towards her and I won't start now.

Carlos POV:

I see TK struggling with himself, when he speaks out of nowhere,

"She doesnt even accept me being gay, why would I ever let her into my life again if I can't be myself around her?"

I shrug my shoulders, my parents didn't accpet me at first either so I know how he feels.

"My parents didn't accept me either until you came along. You completely changed their minds , and showed them how it isn't so different from any other relationship. You helped them understand why I love men-"

"Why you love me Javier."

I smile at him , "Yes baby, why I love you and how it's not a big deal."

He breathes deeply leaning his head back as Michelle gives him a shoulder massage, I smile at the two of them laying back into the bed where my pillows are. I move them around some, but they are comfortable for the most part.

"I wouldn't stress it TK. Maybe she has good news , or maybe she has bad news. But either way, you have to decide for yourself if you want to see her or not. She's your mom, but if she has caused some trauma that you haven't dealt with... I would deal with that before meeting her, if you are going to that is."

I look at him as he takes in the words that she's saying and he just looks at me with his eyebrow raised,

I sigh before I speak "You know I'm family oriented, I would say talk to her on the phone or text her to see what she has to say. I would hate for her to be out of your life more than she has been already. I mean she did take the time to find you and reach out to you. So whatever she has to say might be important." I say shrugging at the end, he nods again getting off of the bed.

"I'm going to get something from the vending machines, either of you want something?"

We both shake our heads as he walks away.

"No thank you babe."

"I'm good, thank you though."

"Alright, suit yourselves."

He walks out the room closing the door behind him, I sigh looking at M seeing in her eyes that were thinking the same thing. He needs to reach back out to his mom, but we can't force him too. Life is too short to hold a grudge, and stay upset with someone.

Emily taught me that the hard way, even though I loved her, I was angry with her for staying with him even after he would continuously beat on her. I would see new bruises on her body everytime she came over and she would brush off the conversations like it was a petty argument. Well an argument about who left the milk out shouldn't leave her with a black eye.

"I don't think he's going to see her C."

I nod agreeing with her, TK was very strong minded and stubborn, at times, but he could be predictable as well. It really just depends on the situation. In conclusion, you never know what he is going to do or sayor how he's feeling. I mean I'm getting better at figuring out how he feels, but even that's a work in progress everyday on my end.

I sat up slowly stretching the muscles in my back as I did, looking at the mirror beside my bed. Damn my hair was messy, I needed my comb or something.

While I was trying to fix my hair, TK came back in with snacks. I looked over at him smiling softly because he was reading the back of the wrapper like he always does when he eats candy. He's a kid sometimes, like I said you could never figure him out.

The only person that I know who could is Owen, and that's because he's his son. He watched him grow up and they are pretty much the same person in two different bodies. I close my eyes briefly thinking of how I should bring this up to him, TK's mood swings and his trust issues.

Why he still doesn't trust me even though we've almost been together for a whole year, and I have to tell him about Alex. Today or tomorrow is not going to be a good day I thought to myself.

"Babe, can you bring me my phone off of the desk?"

"Yeah" He gets up to get my phone when his phone rings. I look at him expecting him to answer but when he looks at the number he just puts his phone on silent.

It must be his mom.

I give him a sad look as he comes towards me with my phone, anyone could feel how the mood changed in the room once she called.

It was like TK mentally shut down, but he was trying to keep it together physically so no one would be able to notice but me and Michelle did.

And we always would.

I text Owen to plan when he would be available to talk to me. After I was done I put my phone face down on the bed beside me, TK gave me a weird look but didn't say anything thankfully.

I kissed M good bye on her cheek when she had to leave for work, and gave her a hug before she left as well. I love that woman, and I know Emily loves her too. We all practically grew up together.

I miss you Emily, but I know you are watching over me and now that I know for sure you are in a better place I'm not going to let anything hold me back anymore.

TK sits at the end of the bed staring at me , while I just fidget under his gaze. Why is he looking at me like that?

I finally look up at him, watching a slow smile spread across his face,

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

He bites his lip trying not to laugh at my question, but he fails when he leans his head down onto my leg laughing quietly. I shake my head at him, leaning back into my pillows for the third time this morning, when am I getting out of here!

"I just love you, and I'm happy you are awake right now. I'm happy to have you back with me, that's all." I push his shoulder for trying to make me get in my feels early in the morning.

"Oh hush, if I would have left you'd get a dog to replace me in no time." I said smirking at him and he just nodded.

"You do have a point, but you know it's nice to be able to speak to someone and they speak back to you."

I throw a pillow from behind me at him, but he catches it right before it hits his face, lucky bastard.

"Wow, you actually aimed for my face. This is the money maker Javier! How dare you!!"

I leaned my head to the side looking at him confused, "I thought your body was the money maker?" He smirks at me before laughing and lying down on my chest.

"Ok fine, but my face is a huge plus. It just so happens that they come together." I nod my head at him laughing at how confident he is.

And rightfully so, he was beautiful to say the least. I lifted the cover off my side of the bed , so that he could get underneath it with me when my phone rang.

I looked at it seeing Owen's name and answered it, "Hey Owen. How's the station?"

"Oh everything's good here Carlos, glad you are doing better too. You scared the shit out of Michelle the other night and TK too. You know how to make people worry that's for sure. But you and TK have that in common."

I smile into the phone and then down at TK as he softly begins to fall asleep on my chest. I lower my voice as I continue speaking to Owen on the phone,

"Yeah, my body wasn't reacting well to all of the stress from this past week, some time was needed for my body to recharge and go back to normal. Thank you for your prayers, I appreciate them deeply. More than you'll ever know."

"No problem son, I can talk this Thursday if you're free during lunch time, I'd say 3:00?"

"That works for me! I'll see you then!"

"Oh wait Carlos, is TK with you?"

"Yes sir, you need him? He's sleeping right now."

"No, but his mother is back in town. She's been trying to get in contact with him, when he wakes up can you tell him to call her back? She has some really important news to tell him. It's going to change his life truthfully. I don't know how he'll react to it, but he won't know unless he picks up her phone calls. Is there any way that you can try to convince him to do so? I don't know what to say to him anymore."

"Yes, I will try my best to get him to call her back. If he won't I'll contact you again and maybe you can try."

"Thanks, I'll see you Thursday?"

"Yes sir."

Owen hangs up the phone and I rub my forehead, I can't think about any of this now. I'm in the hospital for stress and for my body to relax, so that's what I'm going to do.

I run my hands through TK's hair softly so he doesn't wake up, closing my eyes as I do. I fall into a deep and peaceful sleep with Emily and TK in my dream, a perfect world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: Hey babies! How's school and life in general? Surprise chapter! Again LOL.
> 
> I'll see you all for another chapter on Saturday and Sunday , stay healthy and blessed!
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> Find a reason to stay,xo
> 
> -Steph.


	38. C/37 I don't trust him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 12:10 AM where I'm at, so it's Saturday UPLOAD DAY!! I really love these chapters I'm uploading this weekend if you can't tell!😏
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and happy reading my loves🧚🏾♀️

TK POV:

I fall asleep quickly once Iay on his chest realizing just how tired I really am. I wake up though because I hear the loud splashing of the water running in the bathroom. After a few seconds of confusion, my sleep filled mind cleared helping me to realize that Carlos isn't behind me anymore.

I sit up stretching before I walk over to open the door of the bathroom. I come into the decently sized area to see Carlos still messing with his hair again.

"What are you doing? I walked in earlier and you were messing with your hair and here you are yet again in your hair instead of being with me. Is this an obsession?" I say playfully to him while we stare at each other in the mirror, he gives me a sad smile and I step back as he turns around.

"What happened?"

"Your dad called-" I lean back into the frame of the door and close my eyes expecting the worst,

"He knows about your mom,and he asked me to encourage you to speak with her. You already know how I feel on the subject. I really think you should speak with her no matter what. Like I said before, she did do her research to come here, get your number and reach out to you. I'm sure she isn't your favorite person, or if she ever was but I know that she is your mom and you would feel horrible if something happened to her and you two weren't able to speak with each other."

I give him a blank stare before he speaks again,

" Can you at least think about it? It would mean a lot to your dad and me as well."

I have nothing to say back to him so I nod my head before I turn around going back to sit in the chair in his room against the wall. I need some space to think, I can't be close to him right now, and he understands that because he stays in the bathroom getting on his phone letting me have said space.

I think for a second and realize that it's wrong for me to ask for space in his room, he's supposed to be healing and resting and I have him in the bathroom on his feet.

That's wrong in so many ways.

So without saying anything to him, I take a sticky note from the calendar that's on the back of his door and write the following:

"Needed air, be back soon. Get in your bed and rest, don't worry about me I'm fine."

After I finished writing the note for him I put it beside his bed and I turned towards the door opening it softly. I turn down the long hallway and skip the elevator to take the steps. I've missed a few days from work so I need the workout anyways.

I reach the automatic doors at the front and I walk out of the hospital to my car. It's only a few feet away from the entrance, as I'm illegally parked in the handicapped space, I start my car quickly before anyone notices I don't have a sticker.

I only parked right here because I was worried about Carlos and it was the closest to the hospital.

I move into the third row with other cars in the parking lot needing some type of privacy as I sort through my feelings about this meeting that I may or may not have with my mom. Turning off my car , I start to relax.

I can have my space in my actual space now, I close my eyes leaning my head back onto my leather head rest as I breathe in and out deeply. I think about everything that can go wrong, and everything that may go right. You never know with that woman.

She left us and I don't even know why, dad didn't know either. No matter how many different times I asked him , his answer would always stay the same,

"If I knew I would have told you already son. Let's not focus on the past, all we have is each other now."

I remember it by heart because I'd ask so much. I know it couldn't have been an easy thing to tell your 9 year old son that almost everyday, but I want to believe him and hope that he really doesn't know. In all of my 26 years of living, I've never doubted him and I don't want this situation to cause me to start.

I turn my car on , and press the button on the side of my seat so that I can move it all the way back. Once I'm done, I turn my car off again, and I tuck my legs underneath me crossing them in the process.

I put both of my hands palm up and rest them on each knee, opening my eyes to visibly weigh my options. I raise my left hand in the air slightly as I think out loud,

" I can stay oblivious to whatever she calls this and I can just trust my dad and not meet with her. I mean I know he wants the best for me but he does tend to overreact sometimes?"

Then raising my right hand making it equal with my left hand in the air I contemplate the other side of this equation,

"Or I can meet her to see what she has to say, giving myself peace of mind. Even if what she has to tell me isn't important, I'll know that I took the step to try and have a relationship with her. And if she blows me off, I'll just get over it like I did 17 years ago, but this time I know it wasn't my fault."

I bite my lip as I think looking between both hands, changing their heights in the air as my thoughts progress more. I don't want to see her but I think I need to.

But then again, she could hurt me more now since she's in my life, I haven't been doing the best but now that I'm in Austin, I've been doing damn good.

Should I give her the power to strip all of that away from me? I hate being an adult, being a child is much better.

I put my hands down giving up as I turned on my car to move my seat back to its regular position. I'm taking my keys out of my car, when I hear my phone ring. I look at the screen before I answer, seeing it's Carlos helps me to relax and I answer quickly before the phone rings out.

"Hey, you alright?"

"Yeah, are you?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just stumped that's all." Then a thought pops into my head, I should just ask Carlos.

"Actually, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, wassup?"

"Left or right?"

I can feel him thinking through the phone, as he stops breathing for a second.

"I'll tell you my answer when you come back to the room, love ya."

He hangs up right after he speaks and I glare at my phone, sly fellow he is but it worked. I got out of my car locking the doors as I walked back into the hospital, I nodded at reception and took the stairs again up to the floor where his room is.

I open the door out of breath, the stairs kicking my ass more than I would have liked. I mean , I used to be able to do 6 flights without stopping and I had to take a break with just those four, I need to get back in shape.

I look for Carlos, but I stop when I see my sticky note on the bed. I walk closer to it, as I think about where he could be. My mind wanders very vaguely remembering some places in the hospital he was allowed to go without supervision, but my mind draws a blank.

I stop worrying when I read my note , but I smile when I see his response on the back,

"Come find me Strand. The first place will lead you to another clue but the third place is where I'll reside."

Ahhh a scavenger hunt I thought, he was so sweet. How was he able to do this though, when he wasn't aloud anywhere but the vending machines by himself? I shrug off the thought as I walk to the door looking for the next clue, but I find it quickly as it falls into my hair when I open the door.

"I love you, and I need you to know that. If you don't suit yourself. ;)"

Vending machine, I thought immediately, remembering my words I said this morning before I went to go get myself some snacks since they didn't want any.

I walk down the steps, not stopping this time since it was only one flight and I jog over to the vending machine. There's no note there, but I'm tired so I get water. As I'm getting the water out of the opening I see an orange sticky note at the bottom of the dispenser,

" We both need to get back in the gym babe, maybe we should go together once all of this is over. Anyways, back to the clue. The next place is your final destination. There are two cafes outside the hospital one on the left and another on the right. Text me once you get this note, and I'll start your timer. You have 3 minutes to find me and no, my location is not shared with you and also no, my car won't be in the parking lot. Okay, bye!"

I nod my head at the beginning of the note, pulling out my phone to text him,

"At the vending machine, read the note and I wasn't going to cheat!"

I get a response almost immediately,

"Time is ticking, and yes you were babe. Just wanted us to have a clean and fair game"

I smile putting my phone back in my pocket as I fly down the last three flights of stairs, my adrenaline not allowing me to stop even if I wanted to.

I run outside past some startled patients but I'm to much in a rush to be embarrassed , as I turn around and look at both restaurants,

Clean eatz and Panera bread. Which one would he be in because he likes both? I pull the notes back out of my pocket and re read them, but they don't matter once I remember the text that he sent me, clean and fair game.

Clean eatz it is. I run into the store seeing Carlos seated at the back on the phone. I raise my eyebrow at him, but I don't let him know I saw him since he hung up before I was able to reach him.

"Found you." He looks up at me smiling and I hug him,

"That was fun, kind of stressful though!"

"Stress is our middle name at this point baby." I nod my head laughing at that, he was right with our jobs and just each of us in general.

"I guess you have a point. Why did you choose here?"

"I need to start working out more, and it was a closer walk. Got lazy."

I nod sitting down at the table in the chair that was opposite him , but he just shakes his head at me when I do.

"We're not staying, I want some ice cream."

I get up as he grabs my hand leading us to my car, "How do you know where I'm parked at?"

"I saw you reverse into the spot earlier when you had left to get some air. I wasn't following you, I was sitting here for the scavenger hunt."

"Hmmmm, okay."

"I'm driving or you?"

"Is that really a question TK? I never let you drive if I'm there."

I blush at him , handing him my keys when he opens my door for me. I kiss his cheek and close it myself. Once he gets to the other side, I buckle myself in and roll down my window. It's 102 degrees today and even the shorts that are showing half of my thigh I'm wearing aren't cutting it.

Carlos is in a grey V-neck and some ripped jeans, he must be burning up. But then again, your body is cooler when it is covered up than when it's exposed. I watch him drive , his hair blowing in the wind making me smile. He looked like the poster boy for hot topic.

I love him so much.

We get to Ben and Jerries and he cuts off the car locking the doors after he opens mine for me. I jump out, my jeep being a little high and we walk hand in hand into the ice cream shop.

I pull out my wallet to pay for our things, when Carlos brings a manager over. I look at him confused as they speak quietly, but they stop as the manger goes to the back. I squeeze his hand and he just smirks at me. I let it go , just happy to be with him at this moment.

The manager comes back out with a cooler , it has a clear front but the rest is a deep blue. I look at it and see an ice cream cake. I reach for the zipper but Carlos moves it before I can. I pout at him, and he just kisses me quickly

"When we get home, I'll explain." I nod trusting him, because what can be so bad about a cake?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:Hey babies, how are you all doing? And how was your first week of school? Mine was alright, let me know in the comments.
> 
> Find a reason to stay and thank you for 800 reads guys :'( My book is a month and some days old now, it's growing so fast!!!
> 
> I love you all deep
> 
> -xo,Steph.


	39. C/38 If your reading this it's to late

Carlos POV:

Once TK left, the nurse came in and told me I was free to go. I took that time to set up the scavenger hunt for him, just so that when he got back he would come back and have something to do, helping take his mind and some of the stress of his situation at the moment away.

I put the cooler in front of me holding it with my left hand , as I held TK's hand in my right. We get back into the car and I pop the trunk so I can put the cake back there without the risk of him seeing it. The words aren't on the outside, but still anything can happen.

I always expect the unexpected.

I drive quickly back to my house, not breaking any speeding laws of course I mean I'm still a cop. Even though the doctor said don't make any irrational decisions for a few days because my body is coming off of the medicine , but, I know this is the right choice to make for me and TK's future.

I have been thinking about this for a month now, and now that I have gotten the closure that I desperately needed I'm able to make this big decision and not second guess myself or him. I know this is the right move for us, but all of my planning and cake design could go to waste if he's not ready. Maybe I should have had a conversation with him, but it's too late for all of that since we're driving back to the house now.

Or is it? I pull over onto the side of the highway and stop the car. I looked back at the cake, to check if it was fine and It was. The manager said I only have 30 minutes before it starts to melt in the cooler so I speak quickly,

"Do you trust me TK?"

"Um, yes why?"

"I need to know now, I can't really explain it but I need your real answer."

"Where is this coming from? Are you in trouble with the law? Wait a minute, did you illegally discharge yourself at the hospital! OMG we have to go back and sign you out!!! We have to take the cake to the house first thoug-"

"TK! Yes or No, honestly please."

"Of course I trust you Carlos. You're the love of my life."

I nod merging quickly back onto the highway and drive the rest of the way back to my house. Once we get into my driveway, I stop the car and open the door to get out taking the cake from the back with me.

"Can you drive the car the rest of the way, don't want to ruin the cake with the bouncing of the car."

He nods, getting out and switching sides, as he does that, I jog the cake into the house taking it out of the cooler and putting it on the cake plate that I had Michelle bring over from my parent's.

I made myself a reminder to put it back before they got back as well, I have a month but I'd rather I returned it sooner than later.

I'm pulling a presentable knife out of the drawer in the kitchen when I hear the door open. I walked back to the entryway, taking my shoes off and putting my keys in my wallet in the bowl like I was supposed to do when I first came in , but the cake occupied my hands and I had no excuse for my shoes.

TK looked at me laughing as I frowned at the shoe prints on my white entryway carpet. 5 years, and this is the first shoe print that was made on it, and it was by me! I shake my head bending down to roll up the rug , so I can take it to the cleaners the next time I go out.

I guide TK into the kitchen , and he sits at the bar stool staring at the cake on it's stand.

I kept it simple but elegant at the same time, because the complicated cake I wanted would take 6 hours and I didn't have that kind of time. I settled for the white ,green and lavender designed in the shape of a heart.

"TK Strand, I love everything about you and I know that now may be a hectic time for the both of us, but I want you to know that we were made for each other, you are my better half. You make me want to be better and you inspire me everyday. We both inspire each other, we have both faced many adversities in this lifetime, and even though they won't stop coming to us at least we have each other right?" I laugh at the end grabbing his hand and bringing it to my mouth to leave a small kiss on the back.

He blushes nodding at me , I continue speaking finishing this time,

"But I had this cake made because I wanted to ask you if you wanted to move in together?"

His eyes lit up like a little kid and I laughed as he hugged me leaving little kisses on my cheek,

"I'll take that as a yes!" He nods against my shoulder wiping his tears on the back of his hands as he does.

I kiss his cheek leaning back looking for the knife. As I keep one arm around his waist, I use the other to cut the cake directly in half down the middle to reveal the words inside. I smile at him , as I see his reaction to the script inside,

"If you're reading this he said yes!"

He laughs leaning his head onto my shoulder, I kiss the top of his head cutting into the side without the script.

"Let me do it!! I always cut my own birthday cakes since dad would only be able to stay for a few minutes during his shift. I spent a lot of birthdays at the station back in New York. But I knew it was the best he could do at the time, so I never blamed him. Thank you for this, we both really needed some good news this week."

"Right hand."

He looked at me confused and then nodded his head, cutting into the cake.

"I only want to cut this half, let's put the other half on the cake stand!"

"Okay, I'll te-"

We both turn around hearing someone beep their horn from the driveway. I acted confused walking with TK to the door, to see the 126 team all outside of my house here to congratulate us both. But I invited them for TK knowing he was going through a lot now. I squeeze his waist as he puts most of his body weight on me as he leans into my side.

I kiss the top of his head again like earlier, and wink at Michelle as I see her waving at us from her car.

"Guys what the hell! What are you doing??!!!"

"We love you TK! And we miss seeing you around the station too Carlos." I laugh as Mateo speaks and TK does the same.

That is one bright kid, he really deserved more than he gets credit for.

I nod at Owen as he hugs TK walking up the stairs, he whispers something in his ear and I look at them letting them have their moment.

He comes back over to my side. His dad always knows what to say to make him emotional,I blame it on how tight their bond is. They understand each other , so it's easy to have emotional ties as well.

I rubbed his back softly as he sniffled a few times before he spoke. I smiled at the team , glad everyone could come together for Tk and I. We come down the steps, I thank everyone for coming as TK starts hugging everyone. I finish grabbing M and pulling her into a hug.

"Proud of you C. I know how much leaving this house means to you. Proud of your growth, I know you and TK will be just fine but in the rare occasion that you aren't, there's always going to be a bedroom for you in my house. You already know all of this though, I love you best friend."

I wink at her putting a small smile on my face when he pinches my cheeks,

"You aren't my mom M, I love you too and thank you for everything. I'm glad you're able to see my growth, I feel a lot better and lighter now that I was able to relax for a day or two. I had a dream about Emily the night that I had a lucid dream. I went into a coma right after because I was stressing my body out too much by trying to squeeze TK's hand-"

"CARLOS, get over here so we can hug you!" I was interrupted by Paul, and I looked at M shaking my head but she still let me go, kissing me on the cheek before removing her arms from around my neck.

"Tell me everything later okay?"

"Yes, I will. Love you M."

She nods walking away from me.

I walked over to Paul, Mateo, Judd, and Marjan hugging them all at the same time. I look for TK, but I see him hugging Michelle and I smile at them once again. I'm glad they get along, it's like everything in my life is aligning right now.

My parents accept me and TK, M loves him and Em risked eternity with me, so that I could come back and spend the rest of my life with him.

Is this even real? Like pinch me!

"If you two do anything to hurt each other, we're kidnapping you both and tying you up until you work it out." Judd said as I turned back around to face them.

"Yeah , what he said Carlos." I smirked at Mateo as I let go of them all , smiling now.

" I won't hurt him on purpose, I promise. I'll take care of him so you all don't have to worry but I need all of you to make me a promise?"

They all nodded at me , waiting for me to finish talking,

"Just have his back. He's going through some things right now and you all know how he doesn't like to talk about whatever is going on in his personal life. I just need you to be there for him at work , when I can't okay? I need every single one of you coming home safe after every accident. Can you do that for me?"

Marjan looks at me, winking softly and I nod at the group. I hear TK's laugh behind me , turning around I look at him as he smiles at me.

"I can't believe we're doing this" he whispered in my ear, I nod laughing at his voice. He sounds like a kid who just had three popsicles.

He was so excited , it was contagious I have to admit. "Me either, happy that I'm doing it with you though. Only you could get me to leave this place honestly."

I whisper back to him , he inhales deeply at my confession but just ask me a question instead of acknowledging my statement,

"Can I get on your back, please?"

"Sure." I turn around counting to three as he jumps onto my back. I grab his ankles wrapping them around my stomach. Once he is secure, I hold the middle of his thighs just to make sure that he doesn't fall backwards. He kisses my cheek, whispering in my ear again,

"Thank you papi."

I look to the side at him as he smirks above my head now, I stare into his beautiful green eyes that in some lighting look blue, but they are so vividly green now that you can't help but get lost in them.

"You don't want to do this while all of your friends are around baby." His eyes flare , almost like he was challenging me.

I should have known, my baby loves a good challenge.

I turn around walking us to the stairs, looking back out at almost everyone who supported us minus my parents and Emily of course.

And TK's "mom" almost forgot her,but she doesn't support me , just TK.

TK speaks beside my face, his breath tickling my eyelashes he's so close.

I just want to kiss him, but I refrain.

"Thank you all for coming out , to help us celebrate this. You know Carlos hate's going out, so this was a good idea babe. Proud of you honestly."

I glare at him as he smirks down at me , everyone laughing quietly,

"I love you, and I love you all for coming tonight. Thank you so much." He said now talking to our audience.

I smiled at everyone, laughing at Michelle when I turned around,

"Damn, get married already!!" I turn back around rolling my eyes at her while TK just laughs.

"I love you Carlos." I smile at her , letting go of TK's thigh blowing her a kiss.

She dramatically catches it before I respond.

" I know, goodnight everyone. Thanks again!" I say before watching everyone exit the driveway.

I walked in the house putting TK down in the bedroom, but he followed me to the back door.

"What are you doing?"

"You once I'm done checking and locking up the house, why?"

He blushes pushing my arm but none the less turns around going back into the room, exactly what I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey babies , proud of myself for writing two chapters today! Have a great weekend and you can get through this new week!
> 
> I love you all deep!
> 
> Keep going, find a reason to stay here because there is a reason that you are still here!
> 
> -xo,Steph


	40. C/39 Five pounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for 1k reads :(!!! I don't know how to thank you enough except uploading three times this weekend! Enjoy it , I love you all deep!

TK POV:

I am really surprised Carlos pulled off his little stunt, with everyone and I didn't know or suspect anything at all.

That's really crazy to me, have we really become that distant that he can hide things like this from me?

Whatever, I'm over thinking this like I do everything.

He turns around walking us both in the house since I'm still on his back but he stops when we hear Michelle yelling,

"Damn, get married already!!" I blush at her laughing while Carlos turns to give her a glare instead.

I love their relationship, it's really more of a brother and sister type of bond that they have but I know they would rather say best friends. They 8% hate eachother and 92% love the hell out of each other as well.

He blows her a kiss, "I love you Carlos!" She says smirking, I laugh quietly like I said 8% hate.

"I know, goodnight everyone thanks again!" I nod agreeing with his choice of words.

We stood there waiting until everyone pulled out of the driveway onlythen did he walk us both inside of the house, but he kept holding me even after he closed the door.

He stops in the bedroom turning on the light and plaving his phone on the side table. He gently puts me down on the bed and I roll over thinking he was coming into it with me but he doesn't , he just turns around walking out of the room. I got up off of the bed , honestly surprised that he wasn't staying with me.

"What are you doing?" I say as I exit the bedroom turning down the long hallway to follow him.

"You once I'm done checking and locking the house, why?"

I just blush at his response not expecting that , I started thinking about our flirting outside opening a very small chance of me getting any tonight. I mean he did just get out of the hospital, we need to chill.

I push his shoulder gently as I turn around walking back into the bedroom, I don't know what else to say to him after that so I just leave.

Running away from my problems is something I'm used to and I need to stop, even though this was something little, I have to start somewhere right? I take a deep breath as I turn around mid-stride on my way back to the bedroom and walk back over to Carlos looking him in the eye as I speak,

"You just got out of the hopsitial papi. We just need to chill tonight, okay?" He nods lifting me off of my feet now that he's done locking and checking the house for any forced entry.

He does this every night, I know it's the cop in him he can't help it sometimes, but I notice he's off in his own world when he talks about his day at work. I mean he hears gunshots almost everyday, that can be tramautizing the same way me running into fire everyday can be as well.

But we are both strong enough to handle our jobs and we're three times as strong when we are together, so I know he willl be alright and he'll talk to me whenever he is ready, I won't rush him.

"WHEEEE"

He laughs as I mock the commercial with the pig in the back seat of the car, I think the brand's name was Progressive? I don't really remember but it was an insurance companies commercial.

Love that commercial.

I held my breath to see how long it would take him to notice, but I messed up by letting him hear me taking in a huge breath. He looked at me and I couldn't hold my laughter back at all, he saw right through it of course.

I blew out all of the breath in my cheeks transforming my face from a chipmunk to a giraffe quickly. My cheekbones are high enough to make me look like Morton from madagascar on a bad day, thankfully though I don't have many of those.

But I have learned to love and accept everything about myself, inside and out especially on my bad days. Carlos taught me that without even knowing it. I always admired how he would carry himself, he gives off a caring aura, but he won't let you walk all over him.

Ugh , my man was damn near perfect. If only we could fast forward to when he asked me to marry him or when I asked him my damn self.

I don't know if I should be thinking about marriage this soon though, we've only been together for a year in about a week or so. I lay my head on his shoulder giving up on holding my breath.

"You okay baby?"

"Yes I was trying...... to hold my ......... breath but it didn't last long ......as you can see." I said taking a few breaths between every little set of words.

He laughs at me as he laid my body down on the bed for the second time tonight, this time he doesn't leave though.

I stare at him while I'm laying down as he takes his shirt off undoing his jeans afterwards. I bite my lip staring at his chest , but I move my gaze away from his body when I hear him whistle,

"Hey babe, what you doing?"

"Looking at what's mine, why?"

"Well, you're looking at me like you don't want to have a chill night. But , I could always stay dressed if it will help your resolve?"

"No- I mean, no , you don't have to get dressed. I can handle you in boxers Javier!"

He smirks at me pulling his jeans off, he walks into the closet putting his clothes in the basket in the corner. I admired his ass, as he bent down to pick up all of the fallen shoe boxes that I've been to lazy to do.

"Thank you papi."

"Your welcome, you really have to learn to keep your things all in one place though, but no worries because when we move into our new house, you'll have your own space to keep organized or a mess if you'd like too."

"Hmmm, our house. I like the sound of that." I smile at him hearing him laughing in the closet.

"Me too baby. Me too." I lean my head back into the pillows but still looking at him in the closet.

"Come to bed with me!"

"I'm going too, not in the way I want too but I will baby soon."

I wait a few minutes cutting on the Tv so I can have some background noise and light since the only one that's on is in the closet. I throw my head back into the pillows pouting until I speak again,

"Soon is too far away, what about now?"

I hear him laughing again and I decide to leave him alone , while I guess he cleans the closet some. I know he's cleaning my side because he almost always keeps his organized and put together.

My side was a little messy, from the last time I was trying to find something to wear to the hospital when he had his coma, I wasn't thinking about how messy the closet was, I was thinking about how fast he could be taken away from me.. But could you balme me? I was in distress.

"I'm coming babe, just give me thirty seconds."

I start counting in my head so he doesn't feel rushed,

One,two,three,four,five,six,seven,eight-

I see him coming out of the closet turning off the light and closing the door once he's done. I smile at him as he winks back at me, eight seconds record timing I would say.

I take the remote cutting off the Tv as I hear him humming softly beside me as he comes to lay in the bed with me. I roll over so that I'm laying closer to him when he lifts me up by my waist putting my entire body on top of him.

"Finally!" I say exaggerating the y, he just kisses my forehead, caressing my hair and kissing my cheek as I spoke.

"I love you papi, goodnight." I said yawning into his warm naked chest.

"I love you too baby."

I put one arm on his stomach and that's how I fell asleep, that didn't last long though because the caffeine in my system would'nt allow me a good night's rest. I tossed and turned, eventually getting off of Carlos's chest so that I didn't wake him up in the process of my caffeinated mental fight with my body.

I just wanted to sleep, is that too much to ask for? I said to myself, but I stop trying when I have to use the bathroom. I get up slowly the bed rising now that all of my weight is off and I know it's stupid , but I kind of feel fat after watching the action.

I remember Carlos's note, making me grab my stomach slightly. I mean, I have put on I would say 5-10lbs if I could guess by looking at myself, but that doesn't mean that I'm not attractive right?

He was hinting at having sex with me earlier, but he could have been doing that only to make me feel better.

Well I can only do two things, sit here and learn to accept my body in all it's different forms, or I can workout to lose the weight, and then gain it back in muscle mass?

I choose the second option, I love myself, but I'm not going to let myself go any time soon if I can help it.

I quietly flush the toilet and wash my hands, I dry them on the grey hand towel beside the door and I make my way into the closet instead of back into the bed. I look in the closet and I take a few seconds to appreciate how Carlos was able to sort through my half the closet space of clothes and put them each in different sections in the closet.

I loved this man, he's my one.

I walked to my side, where my workout clothes are and I pulled out some white shorts with a grey pull over. I take the stick and pull down my nike box with my all black vapormax 360's in it. I loved to do anything in these shoes, they are that comfortable. Placing the shoes on my feet, I look around feeling like I'm missing something.

Oh yeah! I put some of my clear drying deodorant on, and walked out of the closet. I left the box on the floor , because I know I would have to put my shoes back in it. Why go through all the hassle with the pole if I could just leave the box and only have to use the pole once?

So that's what I choose to do, taking the easier route. When I was in school my teacher always told me to think smarter not harder and that is a mentality not just a way of thinking in my opinion.

I walked out of the bedroom not closing the door all the way, but leaving a crack so that when I come back in I won't have to risk waking him up by opening the door. Making my way to the back door, I disable the alarms on my phone before I unlock and open it. I grabbed an apple off of the dinning table before I left, chewing softly on the cut up slices.

I reached the door of the workout room typing in his password, and walking directly in. I look around seeing that he put a few new things in here and I close the door behind me. I connect my airpods to my phone , putting on my workout playlist in apple music. I placed my phone at the bar by the door where a few chairs were. He has a beautiful workout room, I have to admit.

I take off my pull over and I walk over to the treadmill, I guess I'll start with something easy and then work my way up the ladder slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:Hey babies! How are you doing? Surprise chapter!!!! 
> 
> Let me know how you're schooling is going or just you're day in general in the comments!
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> Find a reason to stay!
> 
> -xo,Steph.


	41. C/40 Switch up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1k weekend, 
> 
> second upload love you all deep!

Michelle POV:

I sit down at my computer lost thinking, but I get to work opening my laptop and typing in the search bar facebook. I need to learn more about this Veronica TK's mom, and Owen's ex wife. From what he told me the other night, she's not that bright of a person.

Should I even be trying to dig deeper to find information out about her through her socials, I might be doing too much?

Nah, I'm going to keep with my search. What's the worst that can happen?

You'll know if you keep looking for it Michelle." the tiny voice in my head says and I nod agreeing with her, I know the shoe will drop it's just a question of when.

*FLASHBACK BEGINS*

I opened the door relieved to see Owen on the other side of it. He was one of the only people I could call to talk about Carlos without feeling like a burden. I let him in stepping to the side to make space for him into my house. He hugs me though instead of stepping past me, and I smile sadly into his shoulder in appreciation.

"Thank you for coming, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know." He just smiles at me letting me go and walking into the living room.

"You sound like Carlos, what is it with you two and people being there for you?" I shake my head at the mention of Carlos immediately losing my short lived good mood. Owen see's and moves his head, I sit down opposite of him not wanting to be too close.

"What's going on Michelle?" He asked, slightly confused at my quick mood change.

"He isn't doing well the last I heard, I don't really know what to think and I should seeing this is literally my job, but it's never hit this close to home for me before. I got to his house with TK over his body trying to do everything he can to keep him alive, but he was half way dead when we got to him. I didn't tell TK that though,"

I said as I saw the look come across his face, I know TK's stress limits just like his dad, I was going to give him false hope even if I knew he wasn't going to make it.

Thank god though that he did.

"I tried everything but nothing was working until I used the shock machine, and we got a reaction,his chest slowly moving up and down. I hooked him up to one of the temporary breathing machines in the truck and when we got to the hospital , they transferred him to a permanent one. The doctor says he will be out for a few weeks possibly, they are thinking he'll be hooked up to the machine for 3 weeks straight. How does that make him okay Owen? It doesn't. I can't deal right now, he's my best friend for fucks sake and I barely saved him, what type of captain am I? Do I even know what I'm doing anymore?"

Owen shakes his head, coming to sit beside me as he does, "No Michelle, we both know how wrong you are, you're just stressed right now. Listen to me, you're one of the best paramedics I have ever known in my life. You do an amazing job everyday saving women, men and children. You can do this, you were made for this. Live in your purpose Michelle, you know there is no other career you would rather be doing than being a first responder. Because you love helping people, even if they don't want it you still try and that is why you are the EMT captain. That's your purpose Michelle, you can't doubt that."

"That moment I walked into his house and I saw him on the floor not breathing, I would have done anything to trade spots with him. The man has been through hell and now he's in the hospital fighting for his life on a breathing machine because his body can't keep up. I don't know how I am even going to approach him once he wakes up. What am I supposed to say, "I saved your life you owe me one now." Like I feel our relationship is going to be totally different because everytime someone mentions him, I just see him on that floor in his house. Every.single.time."

"It will take time, but you have to trust in yourself and your training. You were the best person in the room to care for him, and you did everything you could. He's alive and now he's on a road to recovery, so you did your job. You know he loves you to death Michelle, nothing will change between you on his end, but I think you should go to therapy. It seems like this situation is much deeper than Carlos being hurt, I have a feeling that his injury was what tipped the iceberg over."

I nodded my head clearing my throat quietly after he spoke , he was right I knew it but I still hesitated going to therapy because I don't want to seem or look weak to anyone else. I'm only vulnerable with the one's I love and that's a very small group, it's not even enough people to create a circle.

"Okay, can we talk about something else now. I need to take my mind off him so I don't start thinking anymore than I already have about what could happen?"

He nods leaning back into the couch now, he puts on a serious face looking up at the ceiling and I lean back with him trying to see what made him so serious all of the sudden but then he speaks throwing me off guard,

"My ex wife reached out to me yesterday, looking for TK. Does she have some shit to tell him, I don't even know all of it because she only told me half of it before I just gave her TK's number. It was too important for me to just hold onto, he needed to know and hear it from her."

I raise my eyebrows at how calm his voice is but the whole mood changes once he tells me some of the things Veronica, which I found out was her name, told him. This woman has a lot to handle that's for sure. But that also gets me thinking, how he could fall for someone like that, he doesn't seem like the type to want someone who made scenes and things like that. I shrug deciding to be nosey even when every sign was telling me not too.

"How did you meet? From what you're telling me , she doesn't seem like you're type." I say with a straight face and he smiles looking at me this time. I looked at him confused by his reaction, but I forget it as he starts telling me their story.

"Ah, well we were high school sweethearts.We were together for 3 years before I asked her to marry me and she said yes. I mean who would say no to marrying me?" I laughed bending over at his ego, oh men.

He winks at me continuing though, "But everything started to slowly fall apart once TK was born, it's like the stress of having a baby got to the both of us making our relationship hang in the balance of taking care of him. I was a horrible dad when he was little, I was always at work and I was around for some of the important moments but you know with the first responder schedules, I missed a lot of them." I nod at him, noticing how his voice got quieter by the second when he was talking about his fatherhood with TK.

They were so connected , look wise and emotion wise. I love that for them, I had that at one point with my dad , but he passed.

"I never wanted her to be out of TK's life and I was willing to co-parent with us splitting the week down the middle, but she wasn't having any of that. I caught her on the phone one day before we got divorced, she was talking to her mom and you know what she had the audacity to say Michelle?"

I shook my head to into this story to answer verbally,

"She told her mother that she would disown him if he was gay because ' he was showing signs already at a young age, and that's not normal.' What the hell does she know about normal? My son is perfectly imperfect the way he is, better than her. I couldn't respect her at all after hearing that come out of her mouth. Nothing else started to matter at that point except TK. That's when I started changing for the better to finally be the dad that TK deserved to have since he was born."

"I stopped fighting for our marriage speaking with her the morning after once I dropped TK off at school, coming back and having a sit down with her. She agreed and we started the process of getting divorced. I decided that we should not tell TK , because he barely saw us together as it is so he would be used to having only one of us there with him at a time. We had the papers sent to our house , she signed and I signed and she moved away disappearing into thin air from his life since he was 7."

"What happened to loving your children no matter what? Children are a blessing, and they should be treated as such. I can't believe she would let her beliefs ruin a relationship with her only son. It could never be me." I said looking at him as I spoke, he nodded agreeing with me like any sane person, parent or not would do.

*FLASHBACK ENDED*

She was a different type of women that was for sure, she was the partying type even though she seemed well enough put together on her facebook, I went to instagram trying to see some pictures that weren't perfect and showed some type of imperfection of hers, well I was highly disappointed once I got there seeing how it looked even more attractive than her facebook. I see her twitter in her bio, and I go there after checking up close the five perfect pictures she has up.

"Only catfishes have a few pictures on their page, and of course they're going to be perfect for crying out loud." I shake my head as I speak to myself.

Why am I doing this again, the deeper I dig the more upset I begin to become because I can't find anything negative on her except the fact that she's a homophobe and disowned and deserted her son when he was 7 years old, leaving him with a dad who was a firefighter and to be his sole caretaker.

Now that was cruel, even for someone that looked like her. I get to her twitter but it's private, got you I thought.

I was clicking on her friend request box when I heard my phone ringing from my room, I looked around on my bed confused for a second before I found it underneath one of my decorative pillows. I quickly answered it without looking at the caller ID , I just didn't want to miss the call. You know how Apple does after four rings, I don't have the time.

"Hello?" I say faking a sleepy voice so that whoever was calling would feel bad, but I change back into my regular voice hearing Carlos answer me back on the other end of the phone.

"M, I had a bad dream, but you won't understand until I tell you about my other dream and visit with Emily. Are you okay to talk about this now, I can try to go back to sleep if you need me to call you back in the morning"

I rolled my eyes, does he not know me? "C shut up, tell me everything and take as long as you need, I have all night baby."

I hear him take a deep breath before he starts and I swear my heart stops a few times while he explains everything to me all at once. I had to take a break to ask a few questions and now I know why he was acting so distant with TK when I saw them together.

Then he started on his dream that he just had and all I have to say is shit got real. I immediately told him to tell TK about it and he agreed, but he's working out right now so he won't get to speak to him for at least another hour. I nod,

"Doesn't matter, just speak to him okay?"

"I will M, thank you. I'll let you go to sleep good night."

"Night C, call me back if shit hits the fan okay?"

"Will do, and go straight to sleep, don't even open Wattpad to read a book okay?"

"Yes father, I will. Bye C."

"Bye M."

We hang up and I lay down on my bed silently praying for Carlos and then I head off to sleep like he told me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey babies, thought I would switch it up a little.
> 
> Did you all like Michelle's POV? Let me know in the comments.
> 
> Choose to stay, find a reason.
> 
> I love you all deep.
> 
> -xo,Steph.


	42. C/41 My guest room?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1k weekend , enjoy it , and have a great week!  
> I love you all deep!

Carlos POV:

I hung up the phone and put it down on the bed side table, I got up brushing my teeth as I looked at the time, 5:00 AM great!

{A/N:We love waking up 2 hours before the alarm :) }

I know I won't be able to go back to sleep , so I just strip in the bathroom getting in the shower. Turning the water to the hottest level I quickly get in. The water pressure at this house has always been high, so the water heats up very quickly. I realize I forgot my towel cursing under my breath because I have to get out and track water into the room now, but I hear the bedroom door open and I relax getting back into the shower.

"TK? Baby can you come here?" I hear footsteps but I don't get a response, I guess he was just going to come to me instead.

"What?" he said, peeking his head into the door, I looked at him weird through the shower glass because it was semi-sheer but you could pretty much see through it anyways.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He said and I just squinted my eyes at his tone, why is he talking to me like this? He's never spoken to me as hostile as he did just now, I close the shower door responding back to him quietly.

"Nothing, I'll talk to you when I get out okay?" He nods closing the door as he leaves, I assume he's getting in the other shower since he's not coming in with me. 

That's not like him, but whatever I wasn't going to force a conversation out of him if he doesn't want to speak to me I'm not going to beg him. We're both adults and we should be able to talk out whatever was bothering him but no worries. He can talk to me when he loses the bad mood he's in currently.

I lather the body wash on my loofa quietly, my excitement to see him completely gone, I showered silently stepping out into the cold air biting at my skin afterwards. I slid my feet on the floor to the closet door that was connected at the other end of the bathroom. I reached into the cabinet above my head where I stored the extra towels drying myself off and getting dressed in the closet forgetting about my clothes in the bathroom. I put the towel on the hook that was screwed into the back of the bathroom door. I went back through the double doors placing it there and picking up my discarded clothes on the floor throwing them in the basket in the closet.

I walked out of the room making my way to the kitchen to grab a water bottle and my fruit bowl in the fridge, I grabbed both turning around going to the room to get my belt but I see TK staring at me from the top of the stairs.

I stop what I'm doing, but move on a few seconds later when he rolls his eyes at me. Whatever his problem was , I wasn't going to stick around to have an argument with him, I don't need that today.

I decided to only grab the apple and put the bowl back into the fridge once again.

I grab my belt and head to the door putting my shoes on and grabbing my keys and wallet out of the bowl before I leave closing the door loudly behind me. I drive to the station eating my apple when I hear my phone ring,

I look at the caller and see that it's papa, I kind of feel a way once I realise it's not TK calling to apologize but I quickly get over it and answer the phone when I park at the station.

"Hey papa, how is Brazil?"

"It's always great here mijo, how are you and baby T doing?"

I smile at the phone, but it drops a little at the mention of TK, I know this is just a little disagreement though so I don't say what I'm really thinking.

"We're good, I'm outside the station now. Can I call you guys back in an hour or so?"

"Yes of course, we might be partying though and DrInKiNg.." he whispered the last part knokwing ma doesn't drink and I just laughed softly at him.

"Okay papa, be safe and stay safe alright?"

"Yes sir, you be safe as well mijo. Your mother sends her love, she's shopping with your aunt. I don't know how long she'll be out for." I smile again nodding as we say our goodbyes and I finally hang up the phone.

I walk into the station, making sure I locked my doors before because there has been a few break in's on some of our personal car's and I always wanted to stay safe just in case. I clocked in looking around for Vanya in the parking lot and our patrol car but she was nowhere to be found.

I come back into the break room and I see her on the phone in the corner, it sounds like she's crying but she does just have a soft voice sometimes, and I bet you're wondering how that works when she is a police officer, well I do the talking and she does the chasing.

She doesn't talk very often anyways, but we balance each other out nicely. She can handle herself and most of the people we are arresting underestimate her but she's strong and has a lot of stamina and endurance.

I wave my hand a few feet away from her not wanting to go into her personal space while she was talking on the phone and she shakes her head at me, I nod back walking out of the room as I head to the back to get into the car. That shake of her head letting me know she would need a few more minutes before we could start patrolling.

Any other day I would have understood, but today I was feeling a little off. Maybe it was the situation with TK this morning or I didn't drink enough of my water to drain out some of the caffeine from the cup of coffee I just had while waiting to get Vanya's attention.

But something wasn't right.

I went back into the building going into the mens bathroom, and I looked at myself. I don't remember seeing anything or any scars on my body. My shoulder healed completely and the fading cream that my doctor gave me worked so there wasn't any evidence left behind of what happened or my injury while I had an injury.

I get over it seeing as If someone came in I would look like I was obsessed with myself because my face was that close to the mirror. I walked out bumping into someone, but when I realized it was Vanya we didn't say anything as we both headed out towards the back so that we could start patrolling.

I looked at my watch raising my arm, we were now 20 minutes late thanks to someone. I discreetly looked over at her but she was lost in her thoughts I guess because she didn't even notice I was staring after a while.

(2 hours later)

We're going around a neighborhood when Vanya tells me to stop out of nowhere. I comly trusting her judgment but when I see what she's doing, I question her quickly.

"Why are we stopping? There isn't a threat here."

"Yes there is, do you think he belongs here? I don't."

I followed the person her eyes were on and I gasped shocked at her words mixed with her prejudice. It was a small black boy and a white boy playing basketball on the court. It was the neighborhood court and she was assuming that he didn't stay in this neighborhood therefore making it illegal for him to be on the court.

She put her hand on her belt as she got out but I stopped her again pulling her arm slightly,

"No Vanya, you know this isn't right. This isn't even our area. Get back in the car. We're not doing this today, we're never doing this. If that is what you are going to do then you will need a new partner because that is not what I stand for. And I thought you knew that."

She looked at me with a glazed over expression but she got back in the car nonetheless. I put both hands on the wheel as I semi gripped it trying to let my anger roll off of me in waves, but I couldn't let what she did go.

She had the audacity to try and harass a young black boy, knowing what they are going through right now. There is a bar and she went 500 meters below it with that stereotype. I won't be able to look at her the same, maybe we can talk about it or something but I wouldn't be able to do that today.

I know my mouth and my anger issues very well and she wasn't going to be able to have a civilized conversation with me when I am as emotionally clouded as I was becoming right now the more I thought about it. I decided I need a mental health day and today would be the best day to take it before she pulls something eles that will fuck up my mood even more after TK.

I make a U-turn heading towards the station and she taps my shoulder, but I don't even acknowledge her presence, trust me it's going to be the best thing for both of us at this moment.

"Carlos , look man I'm sorry me and Paul have just been going through it and I needed something to distract me from all of that drama. I'm not racist I swear."

I say nothing as I plug in the code for the back to return the patrol car seeing as I won't be using it anymore today.

How dare she say she's not racist when she just tried to pull that shit at the basketball court and she's dating a black guy! What was she thinking? What runs through her mind when we passed the court saying, 

"Yeah this will be an easy target." Like no that shit is sick and it will never fly with me.

"If you and Paul are going through shit I understand, but what you just did back there is almost unforgivable. You tell him by tomorrow morning or I do." That's the last thing I said to Vanya as I clocked out emailing the Chief from my phone letting him know I'm not feeling well at all.

He immediately responded telling me to take a few days off, I mean I did come in by choice today not wanting to just be stuck in the house but it doesn't matter.

I drive to the house, since TK's gone I have the whole place to myself like before when we weren't together. I smile at the memories me and Michelle made when I first moved in. We got drunk everyday for like a week, taking off work the whole time so that we could celebrate my accomplishments and Em graduating from nursing school.

That was one of the happiest moments of my life.

I pulled into the driveway seeing a car tracks going in the opposite way of the driveway but I figured that was from TK's jeep when he left for work an hour or two after me. I thought nothing of it as I got out of my car.

I took off my shoes having already placed my keys and wallet in the bowl, I walked into the kitchen placing my water bottle back in the fridge. I didn't even drink half of it. I went into the room, but I heard sounds upstairs in the guest room.

To be continued....

______________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hey babies! How's school and anything else that you all are doing?!
> 
> Keep going and stay safe
> 
> I love you all deeply.
> 
> -xo,Steph.


	43. C/42 Probable cause or betrayal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW//
> 
> rape, drug abuse, drug use , non-consensual sex 
> 
> Take care of yourselves! skip or take breaks embetween the chappies if you need too!

Carlos POV continued:

I closed the fridge forgetting about the rest of my fruit bowl that I was supposed to finish earlier as well but I was too upset to eat breakfast.

"What is that noise?" I said out loud to myself quietly, it was like a creaking sound and without another thought I grabbed my taser off my belt. tucking it into the back of my pants as I walked towards the room.

I realized I didn't need the taser when I saw a trail of clothes leading up to the guest room , and the door not even closed all of the way. I stand frozen in my tracks as I realise why I heard a creaking sound.

I looked at my feet seeing TK's yellow hoodie and jeans and whoever was in the room's jeans as well, my heart shattered in my chest.

He was cheating on me?

I walked quietly up to the room looking through the space that wasn't closed , my view restricted though and maybe that was a good thing.

I see TK bent over the desk in front of the window with the blinds drawn and someone having sex with him from behind. I blink several times not believing what was clearly in front of my eyes.

He wouldn't do this to me, not after everything we've been through, over a petty argument? And I was about to move in with him! I was thinking about marrying him...How dare he?

I trusted him, even after the many times he showed me how much he didn't trust me back. After all of that, he does this, all of that to just break the both of us up anyway.

Cheats on me with someone while I'm supposed to be at work and so is he or so I thought.

Fuck this, I thought as I threw the door open making sure it slammed against the wall in the process. They both stopped what they were doing as The random man I don't know's eyes got big and TK had the same reaction.  
Almost like seeing me was sobering him up a little bit.

Well too late.

"Go ahead don't let me disturb you! , but don't reach out to me ever again.You both will be out in 30 minutes when I get back or I won't be so understanding next time." I looked TK in the eye as I spoke putting on a strong face as I closed the door again.

I was about to leave but I opened the door again speaking directly to him again, "And we're over."

I walked down the steps kicking their clothes out of my way as I switched into some sweats and a hoodie. I put on my running shoes even though I had no intentions of working out, they were just something that were laying around.

Whatever.

I changed, grabbing my things quickly and grabbing my key to Michelle's, I don't even want to talk about this shit.

It's embarrassing. 

The absolute fucking one person I let in after Em's passing and this happens to me. I wish I would have known, then I wouldn't have left you Emily.

I'd rather go through your death again than feel this type of pain and regret. This isn't fair.

But when has life ever dealt me it's best cards?

I got into my car pulling out of the driveway, I heard commotion at the front and I looked into my rear view mirror, it was the dude leaving. TK had thrown all of his things out as he had already gotten dressed himself.

At least he did something right today, he might just have realized he lost one of the best things to ever happen to him.

Too bad I had already left.

I drove silently not cutting on the radio because every song was reminding me of him and I just wanted to forget him for just a few days. I felt the tears slowly fall from my eyes but once the first fell they all came quickly afterwards. I had to pull over to get myself together to make sure I was still able to drive the last few minutes to Michelle's house.

I steady my breathing and I pull back onto the road still not cutting the radio on. I made it to Michelle's safely and I locked my doors getting out of my car. I was pulling on my keychain with her spare key on it when the door opened, I looked at Owen but looked away immediately being reminded of TK and I don't need that right now.

Even with what he did, I'm not going to tell his dad the real reason why I'm here. I just have to come up with something I guess.

He steps out of the way letting me in, I realize he's in his uniform and I move quickly past him nodding my greeting towards him, I really hope he's leaving now or just passing through. I don't know how long I will be able to hold myself together around him, he looked so much like TK. It's like at birth he had his face printed on him.

He smiled at me as I passed by him closing the door and following me into the main room, I closed my eyes preparing for the conversation he was going to have with me , but Michelle came in just at the right time thankfully.

I gave her a look and she walked Owen out. He said his goodbyes to me and I tried to give him a smile when he did but I don't know if it looked forced or not either way my emotions were to all over the place to care right now.

I sat down in the guest room , I pulled out my phone seeing some missed calls from TK and I bypassed them completely going to the messages. I read the test that he sent me while I was driving,

"Carlos where are you going?"

"Can we atleast talk about this?"

"I left you a few voicemails so you can listen to them."

"Carlos Javier Reyes, I"m sorry I'm fucked up right now I don't know why I did it."

"Please just talk to me. I don't work today, I'm free anytime, just call."

"At least let me know you are ok?"

I look at the text the water works coming back but before I let myself wallow in self pity I text him back.

"I'll come by tomorrow to get my things, I'm safe."

Before I put my phone face down on the table. I walk out into the kitchen looking in her freezer for some cookie dough ice cream but she only has Vanilla, I guess that will do.

Any type of ice cream will do right now.

I walk out to her garage wiping my eyes just in case I have to speak with Owen when he sees me through the door, but he doesn't thank god.I grabbed a few kit kats and the bag of frozen peanut butter M&M's from her deep freezer.

As I'm walking back into the house to get the ice cream, I heard Owen speak to Michelle, but all she said back was how I needed her right now.

"Michelle, TK texted me a few minutes ago, he cheated on Carlos. And Carlos walked in on them!"

She gasped turning on her heel to walk into the house but when she turned half way she met my eyes in the garage area, she was silently asking me if it was true and all I could do was nod my head yes.

Her eyes turned a deep brown for a second before she walked Owen to his car politely telling him she had to do something and he understood. They whispered about something, but I just went back into the house, closing the door now as I walked into the guestroom.

Is this going to be my new normal? I mean I only have 2days off, how much weight can I gain in that time? Not a lot right?

We'll see!

I heard the front door close and the alarm click into place once she set it, I also heard her footsteps coming towards my room. I felt like shrinking into the bed so it could swallow me and I can deal with this alone before I had to deal with it in her presence but TK was at the house so I had nowhere else to go.

She was my best friend. Shit happens and when it does she's going to be there for me no matter what.

She crawled into the bed with me as I watched how to get away with murder mixing the candy into my ice cream every now and then to spice up the flavor. We didn't talk much and I was thankful for that. She just held me as I watched the show, but when the scene with Oliver and Connor came up my strong face fell completely. It's like the tiny piece of thread that was left holding me all together broke and I lost it.

It felt like I had been crying for hours, my heart constricting after the hiccups I now had every few seconds. Michelle just rubbed my back soothing me and helping me calm down from my very frenzied state.

God bless her, I know she might have had to work today, but maybe this was her day off? What a way to spend your day off huh?

I wiped my face with a tissue, Michelle putting the box in front of me once I started and I was very grateful for that as well.

She was appreciated very much.

I fell asleep to the feeling of her hand going up and down my back mixed with my exhausted eyes from all of the crying I've done today, this was all too much for me.

I woke up hearing my phone ringing, Michelle was gone so I reached over to answer it softly because I had just woken up.

"Hello?"

"Mijo, thank god we were so worried about you, it's 11:50 pm here so we just wanted to call and say goodnight to you. We had figured either we forgot or it was you this time. No papa you're not getting the phone." Ma spoke to my dad who from the last time we talked seemed to be drunk like he planned.

Good for him , at least his life plans were working out. Mine weren't. I just remembered the love of my life cheated on me and his only explanation was that he fucked up.

So remorseful I know, someone get the tissues.

I groan as I answer her back "Goodnight Ma and papa, I love you both stay safe like I told papa earlier. I'll see you both in 2 weeks yes?"

"Yes mijo, we miss you so much but we are glad to be around more family. You have to come with us the next time we visit?" I don't say anything knowing how homphobic they were.

"UM..."

"If it helps, you can bring baby T with you."

"It doesn't really." I say under my breath hoping she doesn't hear, but of course mother always hears.  
"Are you two okay mijo?" I could hear the worry in her voice and I started to feel bad for evening saying the smart remark back to her offer, I mean she was just trying to help.

"No there is no us two ma. Not anymore." She gasped while I just closed my eyes, the reality finally clicking into place that I have to separate from him and buy a new house because mine was already on the market.

I sighed not ready to talk about anything that happened between the two of us now. Especially not over the phone either. I'm a policeman, we run through phone calls everyday.

"We will speak when we come home okay?"

"Yes ma , goodnight."

"Goodnight mijo." And with that she hung up the phone. I placed it on the far end of the bed and I turned the opposite way going back to sleep.

____________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey babies, how are you doing? And how was the chapter? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Find a reason to stay,
> 
> I love you all deep!
> 
> -xo,Steph.


	44. C/43 Step into my shoes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey babies, I forgot to upload a chapter 😭😭😭😣! It messes up the flow now but I'm going to let you guys have it anyway! I took my time to write it and then uploaded the chapters out of order 🤦🏾♀️‼️
> 
> This is TK's POV of the cheating, this was supposed to be uploaded before probable cause or betrayal... anyways choose who's side your on and let me know how bad of a write I am in the comments!
> 
> Don't be shy, tell the truth 😏🤍
> 
> Okay byeeee until the end of this chapter...

A/N: Hey babies, I forgot to upload a chapter 😭😭😭😣! It messes up the flow now but I'm going to let you guys have it anyway! I took my time to write it and then uploaded the chapters out of order 🤦🏾♀️‼️

This is TK's POV of the cheating, this was supposed to be uploaded before probable cause or betrayal... anyways choose who's side your on and let me know how bad of a write I am in the comments!

Don't be shy, tell the truth 😏🤍

Okay byeeee until the end of this chapter...

TK POV:

What the fuck is wrong with me? I exited the workout room needing something but I know that if I go and get what I want then I lose my sobriety.

Is this temporary feeling worth the three days of recovery it was going to take?

No.

I walked back into the house getting some aspirin out of the drawer and taking some sleeping medicine. Maybe this will help my body cravings. But it didn't, I stood in the kitchen looking out of the window trying to think of something else.

I thought of Carlos but the only thing my mind would push to the forefront was all of the times he pulled away from me or my touch. I don't know why my mind was doing this to me, i'm confused staring out the window still but I say fuck it and walk into the room.

When I put my headphones and phone on the bed Carlos called me from the bathroom and I heard the water running, he was taking a shower. I walked slowly towards the bathroom hearing him speak again but I didn't respond.

"What" he looked at me and I said nothing else as I poked my head into the doorway of the bathroom, "Why are you looking at me like that?" I said getting annoyed that he wasn't telling me why he wanted me to come in here.

He said nothing as he closed the shower door, "Nothing, I'll talk to you when I get out okay?" I nod closing the door before I walked out of the room all together.

I leaned against the counter in the kitchen before I decided to take a shower in the guest bathroom, I don't know why but I'm not really feeling Carlos today. I just need time apart from him I guess. I took my shower picking up my clothes as I brought them down the hall where the laundry room was. I came back about to walk down the stairs but I stopped seeing Carlos reaching into the fridge and I just stood there staring at him.

He eventually noticed me and when he did I rolled my eyes deciding to go back to the guest room until he left for work then I knew I had the whole house to myself.

When I looked on the cameras I saw his car pull out and I relaxed walking downstairs as I ordered IHOP. I was sweeping when the driver came, I opened the door smiling at the man he was small but still taller than me. He looked about 25 or so.

I grabbed the bag from him ,but he brushed his fingers across my hand holding onto my wrist, I tried to pull away but I stopped when he told me he still had to get my drink out of his car and I nodded while relaxing again.

I turned around walking the bag into the kitchen , but the man followed me.

"Hey, can I use your bathroom? My next stop is thirty minutes away."

"Yeah no problem, back at the door, the second door on the left." He nodded walking away from me and into the bathroom where I told him too.

I started to drink some of my drink staying where I was just in case he needed anything else not wanting him to creep around the house when I'm not there to watch him. I feel weird , I hear a ringing in my ears , but I just took more aspirin thinking it was from my workout earlier this morning.

I drank half my drink washing down the set of pills I just took with as much liquid as I could. I was eating my eggs when I remembered the delivery driver.

I walked to the bathroom knocking on the door to check on him but I had to walk slow since I was getting dizzy out of nowhere. I finally reach the door just as he opens it.

He looks at me smiling before he helps me walk back to the table, "how are you feeling?" He asked in my ear quietly.

"Horrible,dizzy, who are you?" I looked into a man's face who just stared back at me smiling. I squinted at him still not remembering who he was and how he got in the house but I black out it all being overwhelming for my body.

I wake up not being able to move or feel anything on my body. I start to freak out in my head not being able to feel anything.

"What's going on?" I try to move my hand but it's like my whole body is numb. I turn my head to see the delivery man having sex with me and I literally feel like throwing up. it's like my body is under 1,000 lbs weights because I can't move at all.

I begged him to stop for almost 15 minutes but I stopped giving up until I heard the door slam open. He moves off of me and I see Carlos at the doorway.

No no no no , I swear this isn't what it looks like. I look at him with wide eyes as he speaks to me with no emotion in his voice. I blink stunned for a few seconds when he leaves but he comes back telling me that we're over and I feel my heart start to slowly deflate.

I hear the slam of the front door and I come back to my senses falling off of the desk and crawling to my clothes wherever they were. I'm able to walk slowly as I put on my jeans and hoodie that were on the stairs.

I use all of my strength to go down the steps with his clothes throwing them outside, he comes behind me and I punch him in the face.

How dare he, what a fucking creep. He must have done this a lot.

"Leave and never fucking come back you asshole or you won't make it back to where you came from."

I close the door in his face, throwing away the food,the sight making me want to vomit again. I go to the bathroom to do just that rinsing out my mouth right after. I walked into the room brushing my teeth wiping my mouth. I get my phone texting my dad , I know he wouldn't judge me and I need to vent.

"Dad , I need your opinion ?"

Dad-" Yes about?"

" I cheated on Carlos and he walked in on it."

Dad-"..."

"I need something dad, what do I do?"

Dad-" why did you do it? I thought you loved him?"

"I don't know, I think the delivery guy drugged me because I blacked out and the next thing I know he had me laying on a desk in the guestroom. How am I going to fix this? He broke up with me! He said he doesn't even want to see me and that he's coming by tomorrow to get his things.. This is his house, I should leave shouldn't I?"

"He raped you TK. That's not a coincidence that you can't remember anything but him. Send me his info off of whatever app you used. I'll handle it since I don't think you want to go into the police station right now?"

"I'll handle him, can you just give me advice on Carlos please?"

"Son I would stay until he comes back and try to talk to him. If he's the one then you'll never stop trying." he sounded distant as he spoke to me but I understood.

"Okay, I'm coming into the station today. I need to work."

"Alright, let me know when you leave so I can tell someone to clock you in over there."

"Thanks dad."

"No problem."

I hung up the phone getting in the shower feeling drowsy from the drugs probably. I washed myself slowly so I didn't trigger any motion sickness from the action. Getting out I laid down taking a thirty minute nap before I headed off to the station.

The first person I see is Paul. He comes up to me quickly pulling me aside by my arm.

"We need to talk about Carlos." I looked at him shocked... How does he even know?

"I know everything TK. He saved a life today, he's a great person and an even better cop." I looked at him relaxing but he picked up on my relife raising his eyebrow at me and I quickly tried to walk away before he could figure out my life but I failed.

"What did you do to him TK?" I throw my hands up in the air, "What didn't I do to him Paul, I'm just a fuck up. I don't want to talk about this right now. We'll talk later."

He walks away without saying anything, great because I needed another person mad at me today!

I loudly exhale as I watch him disappear into the kitchen without another glance my way. I gather my thoughts and then walk to dad's office needing to interact with someone who won't ask me any questions.

Oh how wrong I was...

I walked into his office sitting down in his turning chair waiting for him when he comes out of the bathroom instead of the front door, I give him a confused look and he shrugs at me.

"I had a bathroom installed when we first got this place re-built. I thought you knew." I brushed it off not really caring that he had his own bathroom.

"How have you been dad? It feels like we haven't caught up in forever." He gave me a sad smile as he motioned for me to get out of his chair, I moved quickly not wanting him to be on his feet for too long, he had chemo yesterday and rested afterwards, but I still don't want to risk it. He sits taking a sip out of his coffee mug quietly.

Why do I feel like he's avoiding the question or he's taking a long time on purpose to make me anxious? I say fuck it and speak again,

"Dad whatever it is, you can tell me but all of this stalling is making me anxious so can we please just get to the point?"

"Son, what I want to tell you we can't and won't talk about it here. After our shifts though, I'm coming over to your house. We have some things to settle."

I nod my head getting up since we aren't going to talk about it here, I have a strong feeling he it is Carlos. But I won't get my hopes up at the thought of seeing him. It's just day one and I already miss him like crazy.

What am I going to do? I love him, I'm in love with him but he won't even speak to me!

Rightfully so though, he walked in on the person he used to love , I'm assuming, having sex with someone else while he was supposed to be at work. He's a lot better than me because I would have killed him.

I know I would lose my shit first, talk and then I'd kill whoever he was sleeping with and make him watch proving to him why I'm the only person who could be with him. But then I would kill him for breaking my heart.

But he just spoke calmly and left, I don't know what I was expecting him to do, but it wasn't that. I thought he would have beat the dude who drugged me's ass and then yelled at me for cheating but he did none of the above. He kept his cool and a level head, while he broke my heart with those few words.

"Tyler were over."  
I got this familiar feeling in my stomach, as I ran to the bathroom in his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: okay okay now take back all of the bad thoughts you had about my baby T🥺🤚🏾 hes innoncent to an extent you guys😣😣😣
> 
> I love you all and respect your opinions as well, should they stay together or just be friends? Next time on Stephanie fucked up the chapter order 🥴☕️✨
> 
> Love you deep! And find a reason to keep going, while staying safe during this time!
> 
> Okay bye......
> 
> -xo,Steph✨


	45. C/44 Flashback Pt.1

TK POV:

Yep it was like clock-work. Anytime I thought about him breaking up with me it's like I have an upset stomach and I throw up but in reality I have an upset heart.

He's the love of my life, and I could have been his but all of that has gone to shit now that I fucked everything up. I knew I should have just forced myself to go back to sleep that night, then none of this would have ever happened.

It didn't help my case that I was a complete asshole to him yesterday morning either, I bet it looked like I had planned to cheat on him, oh my god how am I ever going to recover from this?

I don't know if I ever could honestly.

"It's okay son, everything will be alright. You don't need to be working right now. Take a mental health day and I'll see you tomorrow, yes?" I nodded not having the energy in me to argue and fight with him on this, I'll just listen for once without talking back or questioning him.

"Come on, let's get you up and out of here. This is no place to be a heartbroken kid." I felt one tear fall out of my eye hearing his words, I knew how true they were when I thought back to the time me and Carlos went to a drive in movie theater together, my heart breaking even further releasing the circumstances that we were in.

*FLASHBACK begins*

I got into the truck excited about me and Carlos's date tonight, I don't know where we are going because he wanted it to be a surprise, but that just makes it more exciting if you ask me. I told him before that I like surprises, so this just shows that he really listens to me when we talk.

I pull out my phone pressing on his contact before I started typing,

"Is it 7:30 yet?" I sent the message smiling and putting my phone back in my pocket. I know that he got off work at 5 o'clock today, so he's probably just at home getting dressed. You'd think that I took the longest to get dressed since I had double the amount of clothes that he does, but you would be thinking wrong.

He has a lot of clothes, I just have an obsessively larger amount than the average person.

But one thing about Carlos, is that he will take his time getting ready. He's mostly on time for everything but he's probably not even dressed yet or done his hair even with it being 7 o'clock. He says he needs to see what looks good on him, but in reality anything he wears will look good on him.

I told him that and he just brushed me off so I let it go, I would just have to accept that he takes a while to get ready.

I shook my head laughing at his face when I moved some of my clothes into his house, he was confused on how I kept all of it in the apartment when I moved down here. Well we had to get three U-haul trucks because like father like son we both had a ton of clothes.

Snapping out of my thoughts, we got back to the station heading to the showers. I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my jacket. I pull it out and look at the first notification seeing a text from Carlos, I immediately open it with my touch ID wanting to respond to him.

Papi Carlos: No it's not baby, but it is 7:00. Stay safe, so you can make it home to me in one piece. Please and thank you!

I smiled at the message sending him a heart back. I put my phone down, took off my suit and put it in my bin beside my locker. I'll wash it tomorrow since I have the day off anyways. I got into the shower turning it to cold water since I've been hot all day.

I got out drying my hair with a small towel because my large towel was wrapped around my waist. I figured since I showered here, that I would just go home and get dressed at his. My hair is still wet even after I dried it with the towel so I eventually give up letting it fall wherever it wanted, I wasn't going to use any gel since I washed it this morning.

After doing all of that, I looked at my watch changing back into my standard grey shirt and black pants seeing the time, 7:20.

Great! I'm going to be late to our first real date.

I rush out of the station clocking out quickly as I got into my car. I start the engine and drive as fast as I could without breaking the law to the house, knowing that I'll most likely be late when I was stopped at a red light, I pulled out my phone texting Carlos that I was going to be five minutes late and he sent back a thumbs up.

That means he wasn't ready either, oh this night is going to go really well, I can tell already.

I pulled into the driveway just at 7:30 almost 7:31 and I hopped out of the car, throwing it into park as I did. I went into the house taking off my shoes and putting my keys in the bowl, I doubt he'll let me drive anyways.

I walk into the room, seeing Carlos in the mirror of our bathroom and I smile at him,

"Hey papi, I'm going to get changed now don't be mad at me!" He nodded, shaving his beard, which I didn't like even though he looked amazing either way.

"Okay I'll be out in a sec, meet me in the kitchen when you're done. And I'm not mad, I knew you were going to be late. You always are baby."

I flicked him off as he smiled at me , I walked into the closet looking at my side of it in disbelief still astonished at the amount of clothes I can choose from. I really have to stop shopping online, I know the bank hates me.

I decided on a pale green shirt, it was Tommy Hilifgure and it was tight fitting, just what I needed. I paired it with some dark blue ripped jeans that came in the mail the other day from this weekend when I shopped until I fell asleep. Literally.

The rips on my knees and the one on my thigh gave my outfit the edge look that I wanted, and I know how much Carlos likes seeing me in jeans in general , so that's why I'm wearing them.

I got to the bathroom getting out a few rings, one was a gold band and another was a skull ring. I put both on my left hand. One on my middle finger and the skull ring on my pinky. Looking in the mirror and giving myself one more once over, I left and walked into the kitchen where Carlos was waiting for me.

I stopped once I saw him, because I was shocked at what he was wearing.

He had on a white V-neck that had green leaves wrapped around the sides, the top was form fitting but the bottom was loose almost like that sleeveless workout shirt he wears.

Damn he looked edible.

I let my thoughts wander as I walked up behind him kissing his cheek, since he was sitting down I didn't have to look up to him for a change, it felt good but I know the feeling won't last because he will have to get up sooner or later.

I spin the chair towards me , standing in front of him now. I grabbed his hand walking the both of us out the door.

I figured I should ask to drive for shits and giggles knowing that he wouldn't let me either way. But still, I wanted to offer it to him just in case he would for a change.

"You want me to drive?" I asked looking at him as we approached his car but like usual he ignored me opening my door instead.

"I'll take that as a no, thank you." I said to him even though he just nodded like usual.

"You should know better by now. A good man doesn't let his S.O. drive him anywhere while he's in the car and capable. When I was growing up, I don't remember my Papa ever letting me drive when he was there, just when it was only her."

"I'm a man too Carlos. And I would like to think that I'm a good person as well!"

He smiled at me shaking his head, he grabbed one of my hands squeezing softly,

"No baby, you are but you're my man that's the difference. You won't have to do any of the small things when I'm with you. I guess it's just something you'll have to get used too. I've grown up holding doors and everything for all of the women around me, it was something papa instilled in me from a young age. I want to be just like him, he's strong and he fights his battles with grace, win or lose you would never be able to tell. He's the greatest man I know."

He spoke and I nodded in agreement with him, I know it must have been hard for them to pick up life in Brazil to move here, but his parents made the decision and they had to start from scratch here. I admired their whole family's strength.

"Your dad is amazing, he has an amazing son too. He did well raising you and so did ma, you aren't falling short of him papi, you are perfect in my eyes."

"Thank you baby, but I have a long way to go. Onto better topics though, some guy got a toy car stuck in his throat?!"

I laughed and shook my head, "I thought you didn't go in today? How did you hear about that?" He just smiled, "Michelle told me, she only keeps the important things away from me like updates on her sister."

"You guys okay?" I asked, seeing the worry in his face knowing the answer, but sometimes you need someone else to ask you for it to set into reality.

"When are we ever okay TK? We'll be fine, I just need to talk to her. Were here babe, I know this is your favorite so I won't give you a speech. Let's go!"

He said smiling and I stepped out of the car, of course he was holding my door for me, I blush a little still not being used to this type of treatment,

"Thank you papi."

"Welcome, I booked us a booth in the back corner how you like every time you used to come with your dad."

"Thank you again,"

I said with wide eyes shocked that he remembered that as well. I had revealed a few things about myself while I was under the influence of a weed cookie that Mateo gave me 

* But shush don't tell anyone I said that*

the other night. I don't even remember how much I told him about this place because that cookie had me sent into orbit if you know what I mean , wink wink!

"I'm shocked that you remembered, that was one wild night when I told you about this place." I said as we were seated into our booth.

I decided to sit beside him so that I could rest some of my body weight onto him and not have to hold all of it up on my own side. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lay my head on his chest as we wait for the waitress to come back asking for our drinks.

This is going to be a good date I thought, thank you god for sending this man into my life just when I needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey babies, another upload is coming today I won't leave you guys stuck in a flash back I promise!
> 
> I love you all deeply and find a reason to keep going <3
> 
> -xo, Steph.


	46. C/45 Flashback Pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're still in the flashback yall, have fun reading this <3!!}

TK POV continued :

Our waitress comes to take our drinks and our orders since I know this place like the back of my hand. I gave her the menu already knowing what I wanted. Carlos on the other hand still needed some time, so I ordered a breadstick appetizer so that he could have something to snack on while he waited for his actual food.

"Ah, yes can I get the vegan pizza with an order of breadsticks."

"Yes you can, and for you?"

"Wait I wasn't done, he needs more time, but can the breadsticks come out as an appetizer?"

"I'm sure that they can. I'll be back to double check that for you though just in case we can't."

"Thank you so much!"

"No problem dear, be right back."

I watched the old woman walk away and as she did I looked at Carlos, his eyebrows were pinched together and I stared at him, giving him a weird look because why was he confused?

"Papi, you okay?"

"Yeah, trying to figure out if I want the cauliflower or the vegetable egg rolls/ Which one would you recommend Mozzarella Fellas expert?" He asked me to give a pointed look my way. I glare at his nickname, but still I can see how some of it is cute, I mean look at me.

I played along, putting my finger on my chin tilting my head a little bit to make it look like I was really thinking about his question.

"I would say get both and whichever one you like the most you eat it here and your second favorite you take back to the house to eat tomorrow?"

"Sounds good to me, thank you baby."

"You're welcome, it's the least I could do since you did plan the whole date and all I had to do was decide what to wear tonight. The next date is on me because it's my turn."

"No way, you know how I feel about you paying for stuff. I don't even know why you would try something like that around me. You should know me better than that baby, you know my dad would kill me and I mean skin me down to the bone if he saw you pay for one of our meals while we were on date? He wouldn't even want to let me into the house baby so in conclusion, no."

"Baby, one time or a few times! You have to let up at some point, you shouldn't live based off of a double standard. We both risk our lives everyday for the citizens of this state and you're telling me that I can't take you to dinner or lunch or breakfast without you paying?Life's too short for that!"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying baby! Glad we could get that cleared up for you, does that make you feel better now that you've said it outloud?" He smirked at me while I rolled my eyes at him.

"No it really doesn't.."

"The only thing you can take me to is the bed TK, and even then we both know what happens..."

I flicked him off under my napkin from the table, he smiles at me winking just as our food arrives at the table. The breadsticks still came with our pizza even though I asked could it come out as an appetizer but whatever. We dig into our food, appreciating how good everything is because even though I grew up in this place, they switch their recipes out frequently but so far I have never been disappointed by them.

I really need the recipe on their cauliflower tacos. They are so good, I could die for them honestly.

We put our things in the to go box and Carlos goes to the bathroom while we wait for the check.

A/N: Plot twist, what if he was broke and he went to the bathroom to sneak out so that he didn't have to pay for the meal?? Just some food for thought.}

The waitress drops off the check, $35.18. That's not expensive, what is he talking about? I thought I would give her my card but she refused it.

"The man who was with you already gave me $40 , he said he knew you would try to pay if he wasn't here." she smiled at me and I smiled back kindly laughing at how much he really does know me. Still though, damn him and his wistful thinking.

He came back from the bathroom on the phone. He placed our things in the bag as winked at me when I pulled on his sleeve to get his attention. He puts the phone down and on mute giving me a kiss on the cheek, "You're welcome baby."

I glared at his beautiful face, but it didn't last long when he started smiling at me.

Damn.

He picks the phone back up speaking again and opening the door for me as we exit the restaurant. I turn to wave goodbye at the hostess and she just smiles back at me, "Have a goodnight!"

"Thank you, you too!"

I'm only a foot away from Carlos, but I still somehow get to the car before him, I open the door letting him in on his side and he laughs at me under his breath while I just wiggle my eyebrows.

"Fine you can drive this once, since it's going to kill you if you don't."

"Thank you!" I kiss him on the cheek and get into the drivers side quickly before he can change his mind. Turning the car on, I maneuver out of the parking lot. Carlos hangs up the phone and sits quietly besides me.

"You okay?" I aksed and he nodded simply so I just dropped the conversation all together until he spoke,

"Yeah, my sister's best friend is getting married in a few months, I know Em would have loved to go that's all. But now I have you, she said I could bring a plus one so would you like to go with me?"

I nodded excitedly, "Of course, when is it?"

"UM, I think October? Or November? One of the two."

"Okay I'll be ready."

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

Thinking about that date I realized that her wedding was one month from now. I miss Carlos more than anything and I really need to talk to him. At this point, I can forget moving in with him and finding our dream home. I can forget getting married too because if I can't marry him then I won't get married at all.

I don't want anyone else.

I made the decision right now that I would try and reach out to him again, but this time not directly. I need Vanya and Michelle so that I could do what I wanted while I pulled this off.

I got into the car since dad was going to be driving me , I don't feel like driving and I don't want to risk the chance of an accident. Michelle called him while we were on the way to the apartment, but it looked like he was going to ignore it. I don't know why he would do that, so taking matters into my own hands, I answered the phone for him.

"Hello?" I asked so that she knew it was me.

"Tyler, your dad around?" I was shocked that she knew my name and then my common sense kicked in, Carlos must have told her.

Of course he did dumbass! She's his best friend. My subconscious said back to me and I just handed the phone over to my dad. He gave me a look but I turned to face the window not wanting to talk at all anymore.

He puts the phone on speaker though but I stayed in my same position,

"Hey, what's up?"

"Have you seen Vanya?"

"No I haven't why?"

"She's dating paul-"

"I knew it , Mateo owes me $20 now-"

"No Owen, she racially profiled a young black kid in the suburbs. Carlos said he doesn't know what she would have done if he wasn't there. I mean the bitch had her hand on her gun getting out of the car!"

"That doesn't make sense, because why would Paul date a racist?"

"Every racist isn't open about it dad." I said chiming into the conversation just to turn back to my position from earlier.

"Carlos said that Vanya said that they were arguing at the time, nevertheless I just wanted to know if you had seen her so that I could talk with her."

"Let's not lose our jobs today okay Michelle? She's not worth it, when you see her though, put a hit in for me as well."

"I'll do, I'll talk with you later."

I thought she was going to hang up , but she spoke to me surprisingly,

"Be safe TK." was all she said and then she hung up. I stared at the phone in disbelief before snapping out of it because we pulled into Carlos's driveway. I looked at dad and he nodded his head letting me know he would wait for me.

I see Carlos's car and my heart starts to beat faster, my palms now becoming sweaty. Before I opened the door, I took a deep calming breath and then I walked in. Doing the usual I took my shoes off and put my keys and wallet in the bowl.

At first I don't hear any movement in the house and I started to get worried thinking he might not be here , and that he only came by to drop his car off.

That must mean he isn't in the mood to drive either? I don't know. I walked into the bedroom thinking to myself how stupid I must have been to think that he was going to be here just because his car was.

His clothes were still in the closet so I grabbed a pair of his grey sweats and his black shirt with a white rose on the back. Don't get me wrong, he is bigger than me but we have around the same size waist but sweats fit the legs and butt so I still have to roll them on my hips twice.

I stop when some movement on the stairs catches me off guard. I slowly walk out of the room and there he is in all of his beautiful glory.

He was wearing some sweats and a grey v-neck that clung to his body per usual. I stared at him in awe even though he hadn't looked up from the clothes in his hand yet I can see the slight bag under his eyes, maybe he couldn't sleep?

Well who would make him not able to sleep TK? My subconscious said to me and I nod absentmindedly. 

I know that I don't deserve his forgiveness for what I did and I am willing to take everything that my actions have caused to happen but I....miss him. So much more than I know that I should, but I still do. I don't have the right to want to speak to him after what I did and the pain that the event/scene caused him.

I should have known that one, he's probably pissed at me and hates my guts right now.

I put my head down making a move to walk back into the bedroom when he calls out to me,

"Wait!"

I froze in the doorway, missing his voice as soon as he was done talking, damn myself. I shouldn't have been so trusting with that damn delivery driver.

Fuck me.

Before I could stop myself I blurted out the words causing the both of us to become shocked with the underlying wanting and passion in my statement, those four words that I thought maybe just maybe would give us another fighting chance,

"I miss you Carlos."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey babies! Second flashback anyone?
> 
> I love you all deeply, I hope you are taking care of yourselves and staying safe!
> 
> -Xo,Steph


	47. C/46 Indecisive

Carlos POV:

I didn't know what to say back to him, I didn't really think about coming back here completely. I should have come up with another way to get some of my things out of here without having to see TK in the process. I thought I was out of the clear when I came in and didn't see his car, I was just getting a few of my shirts out of the dryer when I came down the stairs seeing his back in the bedroom door frame.

"Wait!" I called out before I could really stop myself, I know that at some point we should talk, but I don't know whether what I have to say to him is nice...I don't want to hurt him even though he hurt me to the core I know that he has a lot going on so I'm not going add to the shit load on his plate.

"I miss you Carlos."

I put my head down as I continued to walk down the rest of the stairs, I don't know if I have the energy to talk about "us" right now. I really don't believe there is an us anymore..he kind of messed that up when he cheated on me while I was at work.

I can't believe this is what Emily wanted me to come back to earth for just to be disappointed!

" I miss you more than I've missed anyone and anything in my entire life. Can you please let me explain?" I can hear the desperation and the pleading in his voice and my heart softens a little, it's either he's a good actor or he's going to tell me something that will make me look at the citation differently.

Am I willing to listen without judgment though? I don't want to doubt him, but right now I don't think I can listen to him without doing just that. I just need a few more days to get my life back together..I respond having a solution.

"Can we talk in a few days?"

"How long is a few days in your book Carlos?"

I looked up at him now getting irritated that he's questioning me but he's the one that was acting like an asshole before he cheated on me! All in the same day!

"You fucked him TK! There's no getting around it, even if by some miracle I start to trust you again. I just need a few days to gather everything in my life and put it back into place. Majority of it has gone to shit, so can I please just have a couple of days to myself for once? Is that too much to ask of you?" I said to him feeling bad that I threw what he did in his face, I could literally see him close in on himself as I kept talking and by the time I was done he was nodding and closing the bedroom door.

Shit , I shouldn't have said any of that. My life going to shit is not all his fault, even though he does have something to do with it. He doesn't deserve to carry around that baggage, he has enough by himself. I sigh, putting my hand over my eyes not knowing what else to do other than go and apologize for snapping on him.

I walked into the bedroom seeing him sitting on the bed but he was on the phone, I was backing up not wanting to intrude on his call when he stared at me as he spoke.

"Yeah, I fucked it up bad. He doesn't love me anymore. No, you go ahead and go back home. I'll just stay here tonight and then uber over in the morning, I still have clothes over here to wear anyways." I tilted my head at him as he bit his lip, his eyes filling with tears slowly as he looked away from me. I closed the door letting him have the privacy that he needed at the moment. I was going to let him get himself together before I went back in to talk to him and apologize.

I sat on the couch resting my head for a few minutes while he spoke on the phone. I could hear some noise from the other end of the phone and I guess it was Owen talking to him, or Paul. Speaking of Paul, I have to talk to him too. But before I could text him, I heard the bathroom door close, I walked back into the room sitting on the bed. I see his phone on the bed, and I mind my business not looking at it even though my fingerprint is still in it so I could see who he was talking to if I really wanted too.

I resist though, seeing TK come out of the bathroom cutting the lights off as he does. He has some folded up clothes in his hands with tan shorts on without a shirt. He gasps as he sees me sitting on the bed. I guess he thought I was going to leave since I closed the door after what he said, but I'm not like that.

"I was about to put these in the washer so that I could give them back to you. I'll do that right now."

"You don't have to do that, I can just take them from you now."

"Okay." He gives me the clothes and I nod instead of saying thank you verbally. He doesn't say anything else as he just sits on the bed silent.

We sit in silence for a few minutes and he speaks softly,

"I have half of my things out, the big things I won't be able to move any of it until Wednesday because that's when the truck comes. I only have to get all of my clothes and shoes since that's all that is left here. I tried to get a truck that would come earlier, but Wednesday was the fastest they were able to give me, sorry about that. Until then , I can go to the apartment. I'll just need to call my dad so he can pick me up. I left my car at the station."

"You're moving out?" His outburst once again catching me off guard and leaving me semi-heartbroken all over again. It's like I stitched the wound almost all the way closed and here he goes with a pair of scissors cutting away all of my hard work.

"Yes, I know that you said you needed a few days before we could talk and this is your house not mine. I won't overstay my welcome anymore than I already have. You deserve to have a good life Carlos, and I know you don't want to talk about it now, but I just wanted to say that I am sorry if I tainted anything in your path. It was not my intention, and it hurts me knowing that I'm the reason that you may or may not be hurting in silence or in the open. I'm sorry Carlos."

He gets up walking towards the door but when he comes past me, I grab his wrist pulling him to where he was standing between my legs because I was still sitting on the bed. I don't know why I did what happened next, but what I do know is that I am in love with this man, and I don't want him to go out and use tonight or any other night for that matter.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to kiss him right now, his beautiful eyes looking at me in surprise and wanting, I want you to baby more than I'm willing to tell you.

"Don't go.. Stay here with me?" He shook his head no, I let go of his wrist but not of him all together. I took my hands softly sliding them up and down his arms trying to calmly get a better answer out of him that wasn't no.

"Carlos no, I did you dirty I can hardly look at you right now-"

"Then don't look at me , close your eyes so that I can kiss you."

He stared at me not breathing for a second before I softly rubbed his chest so that he would know that I'm here and it's going to be okay.

"Carlos , don't play with me right now. I'm calling my dad, and he's coming to get me and that's it. I'm not playing games with you tonight!" He pulled out his phone typing a message out to Owen before I spoke again.

"So , you don't want to kiss me?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it-"

"If that's all it is, you still don't have to leave. I would never kick you out and you know that so don't send that truck over here on Wednesday."

"Carlos-"

"No TK, I'm in love with you! I don't care, call me a dumbass, but the love that we had doesn't go away in two days. I don't really know how we are going to get better, but I'm not willing to lose you. I don't think I'm ready to get into a relationship right now, but we can be friends. Maybe the love will transfer with the title?"

"I don't want to lose you either Carlos...whatever you are comfortable with, I just want to keep you in my life anyway that I can honestly."

"I'm not going anywhere TK."

Damn, almost slipped up and called him baby just now. I really need to get a grip and not get his hopes up, I'm relieved he said that he would be my friend. I for sure thought that he would have fought harder for us to be together but I guess not.

Maybe this is what Emily meant, maybe we were better off as friends. He might be my soulmate friend? No, that just sounds dumb.

"Carlos?"

I looked back at him coming out of my thoughts as I do and speak as well,

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you? Since this will be the last time, I wanted to ask you before I just did it."

Should I let him do this when I just asked him to be my friend? I mean, he did say that it was going to be the last one, so I guess this may help the both of our healing processes in the long run. This kiss may just seal the deal, so I say forget it.

I move my hand up his body from the bottom of his wrist to the side of his face, one hand cupping his cheek and the other still on the bottom part of his arm. I tilt his face to the side as he leans closer into me and I kiss him softly at first not knowing how far he wanted to take this since it was going to be the last time.

Since it was for the both of us, I continued to kiss him adding more pressure as the kiss went on. I wasn't trying to lead him on or anything I just enjoyed the kiss truthfully missing his lips on mine. He stepped closer towards me and I moved one hand putting it on his waist loving the way his skin feels under my hands, he was always so warm.I quickly began to realize that this kiss may lead to something else that we definitely won't have an excuse for doing but I don't have the willpower to pull away from his enticing lips.

He puts his hands under my shirt lifting it up higher and higher as he does and I step away from him taking the shirt off all together. I immediately went back towards him throwing my shirt somewhere on the floor in the room, I don't know where it is at the moment...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> A/N: Hey babies, how are you all doing? This book is fun to write!
> 
> I love you all deep, and find a reason to keep going!
> 
> -xo, Steph


	48. C/47 The last dance

Carlos POV continued:

I put both of my hands on his waist now lifting him up so that he can sit in my lap, he doesn't resist instead he wraps his legs around my waist tilting his head again so that he could kiss me deeper. I ran one of my hands through his hair as he moaned into my mouth, I pulled on his shorts as he moved on my lap. He untied the strings breaking the kiss and I left soft and small kisses down the side of his neck, not breaking the skin to make a hickey. These meant more than that and we both knew it. I put my hand down his shorts as I connect our lips again, but we stop once we hear his phone ringing.

Shit, that was close almost to close... This is why I need a few days. I can't think straight when I'm around him!

He answered the phone getting off of my lap and walking into the closet. It was Owen, he came back out with a shirt and some sandals on not looking me in the eye. I walk up to him standing in front of him so that he has to look and acknowledge me at the same time.

"Yes Carlos?"

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry about the kiss, I shouldn't have given into you.. I didn't mean for it to get that far, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

How can he say that when I was the one instigating the kiss, I loved it and I wanted more but I know that it will only leave the both of us tired and confused. We both needed to heal and it's a lot easier to do that while we're friends only.

Even though we need to heal, we were already breaking rules. Why not check some more off of the list am I right? I take his hand kissing the palm of it and then putting it down my pants like I did to him earlier with my hand.

"I'm not uncomfortable at all, are you?"

"My dad's outside.."

I wrapped my hand around his neck gently and then pulled him roughly closer to me before I spoke , "Answer the question TK and then I'll let you go. Don't worry you I won't force you to do anything that you don't want too."

"Carlos-"

I brought my other hand up to his face playing with his bottom lip silencing him because I knew he was about to try to deflect my request.

"No getting out of this baby. My answer?"

I know that I slipped up, but at this point I don't have enough energy to care. All of this is going to be stuck in this very moment.

He flexed his hand in my pants moving it lower until he was playing with the waistband of my underwear. I moved my body closer into his hand loving the feel of his hands on my body. It doesn't last long though, because he takes his hand away just as fast as he put it there.

"I don't think we should be doing this Carlos.. I don't want you to regret having sex with me and my dad's outside.."

"Okay, I'll see you soon and if you need me I'll be at Michelle's house. Your not leaving, I am so stay here TK. I'll talk to your dad outside, just get some rest we'll talk on Wednesday."

"We can't , I have the truck coming so that I can take out-"

"TK your not moving out! Why do you want to leave me so bad?"

TK POV:

He backed away from me looking hurt and I immediately felt bad, I don't mean to hurt him. I just don't feel right to stay here without paying any bills and it's not even my house. We're not dating anymore so I can't use that excuse, it's just not morally right.

"Carlos I don't want to leave you damn it, I'm ashamed of myself! I hurt you and that's the last thing that I wanted to ever do! You have taught me so much and I never want to lose you or make you feel like you're being pushed away.. I love you and I know that it means nothing now but I promise to explain everything on Wednesday. It was one of the worst things I have ever done in my life, but the worst one was hurting you Carlos and I am so sorry for that alone. This is your house and I don't belong here, I know Emily hates me right now and I'm sorry for disappointing her as well."

"TK com-"

"NO Carlos, I can't stay here and think of everything that we had to know that all of that is gone because of me is enough..everywhere in this house reminds me of you everywhere! If you broke someone's heart would you want everything to remind you of them?"

"TK.. you made this your home, it doesn't matter if you were here when I got the house or not. You decorated with me making this plain white and grey house a home TK! It's both of our homes. You have the right to stay here just as I do!"

"No I don't Carlos and we both know it.. You don't have to go to Michelle's I'll leave and come back tomorrow."

"If you leave tonight don't come back until Wednesday." I looked at him in shock, I saw the determination in his eyes and I caved..I mean I still wanted to see him before Wednesday, he was calling my bluff and I failed, I wasn't in any competition against him anyway, but I can play back.

" If you go to Michelle's don't come back until Wednesday." I said challenge in my eyes as he nodded. He sat back down on the bed and I got my answer. We were both too stubborn to leave.

"I'll be right back, I'm going outside to talk to your dad."

"What do you guys need to talk about?"

"I didn't tell him anything about "us" TK. I would never do something like that to you."

"No I already told him and I know that you wouldn't but is it about Vanya?"

"How do you know about Vanya TK?"

"Michelle called my dad to tell him and I answered the phone. He was on speaker the whole time so I heard about what she did."

I don't know if I should have mentioned that it was Michelle, but I don't think that he will care since it was her and not someone he isn't close with.

"Did she tell you anything else?"

"What else is there to tell me Carlos? She really wasn't telling me anything she was telling my dad."

"Forget it, I'm going to talk to him and then you. I'll speak with Michelle later tomorrow."

"Is it bad that she told me or something?"

"Did you tell Paul?"

"No."

"Then it's fine, don't worry about it."

"Don't tell me not to worry about it like I'm some kid Carlos!"

"Tyler, drop it." He walked out the room closing the door behind himself. Hearing him call me by my real name hurt a little, I don't know what he was going through and I'm almost 100% sure that he's not going to tell me so I get off the bed going on my knees praying for him.

*PRAYER*

Dear God, thank you for waking me up this morning and everyone that I love. Help me to not reach out to you only when I'm having a bad day but even on my good days as well. I come to you now asking that you help Carlos with whatever he is going through, I know that he won't tell me but can you please give him a sense of calmness or please help him to open up to me like he used too. I know that I may not be your favorite child right now, but I'm begging you to not take the consequences of my actions out on him and in his life. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

*PRAYER*

I get up as Carlos is coming back into the room, I walk into the bathroom closing the door while I wash my face and brush my teeth. I don't want to bother him since he's already in an irritated mood, I know God will work it out one way or another. I dry off my face and finish rinsing out my mouth wiping it with a towel and I exit the bathroom.

I walked back out into the bedroom and Carlos was in the closet, I guess he was changing into something else, but he usually doesn't wear anything to bed.

Things have changed TK, you guys aren't together anymore of course he's not going to sleep practically naked with you since you're his friend now! My subconscious said to me and for once I had to agree.

He came back out with some shorts on and no shirt, so much for change. I let it go as I settled into the bed turning my back towards him and plugging in my phone. I open it and see a few texts from my dad, I tap on them thinking that they'll be telling me what he and Carlos talked about but all he sent was goodnight and for me to give him time.

Did they talk about me? No, I'm not going to sleep thinking about something like that, instead I opened subway surfers and I started playing the game until my eyes started closing on there own. I was falling asleep when I felt Carlos's arm wrap around my waist bringing my back to his front. He kissed behind my ear telling me goodnight and I think I mumbled something back to him but I might have been too far gone into my slumber too.  
Carlos POV: I walked into the room watching TK get comfortable in the bed and get on his phone once he was. I cut off the light in the closet and walked into the bathroom cutting the light on in there to wash my face and brush my teeth before I went to bed. I did so and walked right back out of the room drying my face and hands on my towel that was in the closet using the connecting door this time instead of walking all the way out and into the other room. I went to the bed seeing TK's phone slip out of his hand slowly as his eyes started to close on their own accord. I looked at him, my hand hovering over his hair wanting to run my fingers through it but I don't want to take the risk of waking him up. I know we've both had a rough and emotional night so I decide not to touch his hair. Instead once I see that his phone has fallen onto the pillow I take it and place it on the nightstand behind me quietly. Then I turned back over so that I could cuddle him into my side, I missed having his body heat next to mine while I slept hence the reason I kept drinking while I was in the guestroom at Michelle's.

It's not the same when you're sleeping without the one that you loved. It's harder to fall asleep without him here than it is for me when he is here. I don't think that's one of the good things about love, but I guess it will just have to do because I refuse to cut him out of my life. I prayed to God earlier asking him to send me and sign whether I should stay with TK and work things out or we should just be friends.. When I went outside to talk with Owen he gave me my answer.

Tonight is the night of last because we can't do this again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ————-  
> -This is the last chapter of this book, thank you all so much for taking this journey with me🥺 I know that sometimes I broke my promises but I have tried to make up each one of them with my chapters each time! This was my first book and fan fiction that I've ever wrote.. I never thought that it would get this far. The only people I can thank for the success of this book is God and you guys! You kept me motivated and determined to update!
> 
> stay safe you all , I love you deep forever
> 
> -xo, crying writer Steph out!🙁❤️🥺
> 
> Ps. I was thinking about making a sequel? 🤷🏾♀️Life after they broke up and how they managed to keep their friendship?? 🤭Will they get back together?? 🧐Will TK tell him the truth?? 🥴We'll never know unless you comment saying you if want me to make a squeal or not! 😏Okay bye fr 🥺


	49. thank you so much.

Post from Wattpad, I moved this book here but originally it was made on that platform. To my readers, thank you so much for continuing to read my book here and there as well. I am extremely blessed to have each and everyone of you. You light up my days and my darkest nights. 

The sequel is up , read it if you want to ;) 

I love you all thank you so much for this never ending journey. Your all my infinite❤️

-xo, Steph


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